Ye Jun
The second the words left Si Woo’s mouth I felt my blood turn hot.
"You ever think about just... getting rid of it?"
I stared at him from my bed, shirt half pulled up over the small round bump that kept getting harder to hide. For a mont my brain went completely blank, then everything inside snapped.
"What the actual fuck did you just say?" I asked, voice starting low but rising fast.
Si Woo rubbed the back of his neck and would not look in the eyes. "I’m just saying, Ye Jun. Your stomach is already showing. Parents leave tomorrow. If we handle it quickly , maybe it does not have to ruin both our lives. We could fix this before it gets too big."
Fix this. Like it was a broken phone or a bad test score.
I jumped off the bed so fast my head spun. My hand flew out before I could think and I slapped him hard across the face. The loud smack echoed in the room. Si Woo’s head jerked to the side and he touched his cheek, eyes wide with shock.
"You selfish piece of shit," I hissed. "You absolute coward."
"Ye Jun, wait..."
"No, you shut up." I hit his chest with my fist, hard. "You did this to . You said we would figure it out together. And now you want to kill it? Like it’s nothing? Like we can just throw it away and go back to normal?"
He tried to grab my arms but I yanked away and slapped him again on the sa cheek. My palm stung like hell but I did not care one bit. "I’m a lot of things, Si Woo. I’m dumb for trusting you. I’m scared every single day. I’m the idiot who let his brother get him pregnant. But I am not a child murderer. You hear ? I’m not killing my baby just because you’re too scared to deal with what you did."
His face went white. "That is not what I ant..."
"It is exactly what you ant!" I was yelling now, words spilling out faster than I could control. "You think I have not thought about it? Every ti I am puking my guts out I wonder how easy it would be to make it all stop. But then I feel it growing and I get so terrified but I also do not want it gone. And you just stand there suggesting abortion like you are ordering takeout we do not like anymore. Fuck you. Fuck you so much right now."
I shoved him again, both hands on his chest. He stumbled back but did not push away, just stood there taking it with that guilty stupid look that made even angrier.
"You are disgusting," I said, breathing hard. "I really hate you right now."
"Ye Jun..."
"Stay away from ." I grabbed my hoodie and stord out, locking myself in for the rest of the night. He knocked a couple tis but I turned the shower on full blast so I would not have to hear his voice. My hands kept shaking while I sat on the toilet lid. Part of wanted to cry until I could not breathe. The other part wanted to go back out and slap him until both his cheeks matched.
The next morning felt fake and awkward. Mom made breakfast like usual, talking nonstop about Jeju and telling us to behave. Dad kept cracking his sa old jokes about not burning the house down. Si Woo and I sat across the table without saying one word to each other. Every ti our eyes t I looked away fast. The red mark on his cheek was still there and I hoped it hurt.
"Ye Jun, you are not eating much," Mom said, pushing more rice toward . "You look tired. Everything okay?"
"I am fine," I mumbled, poking at the food. My stomach felt tight but it was not morning sickness. It was pure anger and hurt sitting heavy inside .
Si Woo cleared his throat. "We will manage, Mom. Do not worry."
Dad laughed and patted Si Woo on the back. "That is my good son. Take care of your little brother while we are gone. He can be a real pain sotis."
If only they knew how much pain I was already causing.
After breakfast they finally left, hugging us both and giving a million last instructions before the car drove off. The second the front door closed the house went way too quiet. I dumped my leftover food in the bin and headed straight to my room without even glancing at Si Woo.
The whole day I avoided him like he had so disease. When he walked into the living room I got up and went to the kitchen. When he tried to say sothing in the hallway I put my headphones on and turned the volu up so loud I could not hear him. Once he left a glass of water outside my door like so la sorry gift and I kicked it over on purpose, watching the water spill all over the floor.
"Really mature, Ye Jun," he called from the other side of the door later that afternoon.
I yanked the door open just enough to glare at him. "Oh sorry, I did not know the guy who suggested killing my baby was suddenly the king of maturity. Go away."
He sighed and leaned against the wall. "Can we talk for five minutes? You cannot avoid forever. We are stuck here together for two whole weeks."
"Watch ," I shot back. "I will stay in my room and order food. You can play delivery boy again since you love running away from your problems so much."
"That is not fair."
"Not fair?" I stepped out into the hallway, arms crossed tight. "You know what is not fair? puking every morning while you sit there suggesting we just abort it like it is no big deal. That is not fair."
Si Woo ran a hand through his hair, ssing it up. "I said I was sorry. I was scared and it ca out wrong. I should not have said it."
"Scared?" I laughed, short and an. "You think you are the only one scared? I am the one whose body is changing every single day. I am the one who has to hide this bump with baggy shirts and lie to everyone. And you want an easy way out. Typical big brother, always trying to fix things by making them disappear."
He opened his mouth but I kept going, talking over him. "Do not even start with your excuses. You told we would figure it out together and the first ti it gets hard you suggest murder. Really nice, hyung. Super supportive."
"I was not thinking straight," he said, voice getting louder. "Every ti I see you looking tired and sick I feel like shit because I did this to you. I thought maybe there was a way to make it easier for both of us."
"Easier for you, you an." I poked him hard in the chest with my finger. "Just admit it. You want to go on your abroad program and forget all about this. Leave here to deal with everything alone."
"I never said that!" He raised his voice too, stepping closer. "Stop putting words in my mouth. I told Dad I was not sure about going. I am trying to be here for you but you keep pushing away and acting like I am the enemy."
"Because right now you feel like the enemy!" My eyes started stinging but I blinked it away fast. "I spent all day avoiding you because every ti I look at you I rember what you said. And it hurts, okay? It really hurts that you would even think that."
Si Woo’s shoulders dropped a little. "I know. I ssed up bad. But avoiding all day is not going to make anything better. We need to actually talk about what we are going to do."
I turned away and headed back toward my room. "Maybe tomorrow. Right now I still want to slap you again."
"Ye Jun, co on."
"Leave alone."
The rest of the evening I stayed in my room. I ate so snacks I had hidden and watched random videos on my phone just to keep my mind busy. My hand kept drifting to my stomach under the shirt, pressing lightly. Every ti I felt that small roundness it made my throat tight. I whispered stupid stuff to it when no one could hear, telling it I was not going anywhere and neither was it.
Around ten o’clock I finally ca out to get a drink from the kitchen. The house was dark except for one lamp in the living room. I thought I could sneak through without him noticing but the second I stepped into the hallway Si Woo appeared and blocked my path, arms crossed, looking tired and determined.
"Move," I said, trying to step around him.
He did not budge. "No. We are talking now. You avoided the whole day. I am not letting you go to bed like this."
My heart started beating faster but I kept my voice sharp. "I do not want to talk to you. You said enough yesterday."
"And I apologized. Multiple tis." He stepped closer, voice low but firm. "You cannot keep running away every ti sothing gets hard. We are in this together whether you like it or not."
I laughed bitterly. "Together? Funny way of showing it. Suggesting abortion and then acting surprised when I get mad."
"I was wrong," he said, talking faster now. "I get that. But you slapping and then ignoring all day is not exactly helping either. We need a plan. Doctors, how to hide it, what we tell Mom and Dad eventually. We cannot just keep fighting like this."
"Stop acting like you are the responsible one," I snapped, voice rising. "You are the one who caused this ss in the first place. Every ti I feel sick or my clothes do not fit I rember it is because of you. And then you want to just forgive you because you said sorry?"
He sighed loudly and rubbed his face. "I am not asking you to forgive right away. I am asking you to stop avoiding so we can figure this out before it gets worse. Your bump is getting bigger. We do not have forever."
I felt my eyes sting again and this ti it was harder to push the tears back. "You think I do not know that? I am terrified every single second. And you made it worse yesterday. So excuse if I do not feel like sitting down for a nice chat with the guy who wanted to get rid of my baby."
Si Woo looked at for a long mont, his face serious. "I do not want to get rid of it. Not anymore. If you want to keep it then we keep it. But you have to let help. You cannot do this alone and I am not going anywhere."
His words sounded real but I was still hurting too much to fully believe them. I opened my mouth to say sothing sharp back when he suddenly stepped even closer, voice dropping.
"Ye Jun, listen to for once. I.."
Before he could finish, I felt it.
A tiny, soft flutter low in my belly. Not like gas or anything normal. Sothing small and different. Sothing that felt alive.
My eyes went wide and I froze, one hand flying to my stomach without thinking.
Si Woo noticed right away. "What? What is it?"
I did not answer him. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. The flutter happened again, faint but real.
"Ye Jun, talk to ," he said, sounding worried now. "What is going on?"
I looked up at him, voice coming out small and shaky.
"Hyung... I think the baby just moved."
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