Chapter 30 (Where Are Your Smiles) A Boy Listening to the Rain
“Your military instructor is talking to you. How can you be absent-minded?” Zhang Dong shouted and ca at Lin Wenxi with claws. Lin Wenxi scread and ran away. While running, he often looked back at Instructor Zhang, who still could not stand up straight and could only staggered along the way. Lin Wenxi laughed, and at that mont, a beam of sunshine happened to light up his face, making his smile look exceptionally bright.
Zhang Dong was stunned upon seeing that laughing face. He quickened his steps to catch Lin Wenxi and lifted his fist. Lin Wenxi curled up upon seeing that, and then he felt that sothing was flicked off his head. The next mont, he saw a dried leaf falling down from his forehead. He looked back at Zhang Dong while beaming brightly.
“Listen, if you want to talk, just say aloud. If you want to do sothing, just go for it. Don’t be overcautious!” Zhang Dong shouted to Lin Wenxi.
Lin Wenxi nodded earnestly.
Zhang Dong lowered his voice and added, “And if you want to laugh, you have to open your mouth and laugh out loud. It’s a happy thing. Why do you hide your emotions all the ti. You can’t even laugh naturally.” While saying this, he took out his cellphone to scan the photos.
He had taken these photos of his students in groups or individually during the military training, and the young people on the photos all bead brightly and never concealed their true emotions except for Lin Wenxi. Lin Wenxin just curled his lips up to force a smile. Once he enlarged the photo to look at Lin Wenxi’s face, he could tell that there was no emotion shown on it at all.
“Where are your smiles?” Zhang Dong asked in a deep voice.
Upon hearing the question, Lin Wenxi looked somber and was lost in thought. “Where are my smiles? I rember that I smiled a lot when I was a naughty little boy.
“Back then, I used to pluck all the colorful tail feathers of a rooster raised by our landlord to please myself. After losing those feathers, that rooster seed to know how ugly it beca and refused to co out of his nest again. As such, it just crowed in its nest every day.
“I also hated my neighbor’s screaming cat very much and mixed so 520 adhesive into its food to glue its mouth. The cat got anxious and scratched its own face with its claws. In the end, the cute white cat lost all the hair on its face.
“Like the other children in the courtyard where I lived, I would throw so firecrackers into the cow dung to scare the passers-by. The passers-by would grumpily go to complain to my parents with slly cow dung on the clothes. My father would scold and even beat for doing such mischief, but my mother would usually try her best to protect . However, sotis, when I was too naughty, my mother would not stop my father from flogging rcilessly with his leather belt.
“My father was exceptionally strict. The other children’s parents would just force them to go to visit and apologize to the passers-by or pinch their butts for punishnt. They would just cry for a while after being punished, and then everything would be alright for them. However, once I did sothing wrong, the others would look coldly at and whispered, ‘His father is an official.’ Maybe that was why my father was so strict. When I made mistakes, he would ask to kneel down on the floor, on the ridged surface of a washboard, on so rods or even on a rock for at least one hour. I used to think that my parent adored until being flogged unconscious by my father one day. After that day, I did not want to play together with the other children anymore, since once I played with them, I would probably make a mistake. I would get punished and beaten up for those mistakes.
“Gradually, the children in the courtyard seed to know sothing and every ti they saw , they would flee.
“Once I caught a little boy and asked him why. He replied while trembling, ‘My mother said that your father was a good official. She warned us not to teach you any bad habit.'”
Lin Wenxi sighed secretly, “Yes, so people said that my father was a good official, and so would just stare coldly at once I made a mistake. As my father was an official, I was different. All I wanted back then was to play and ran together with the other children in the courtyard, but I could only read or even recite so books at ho.
“I’ve been lonely since my childhood.”
The next mont, Lin Wenxi thought of Fangfang. “No, I still had Fangfang to play together with . He was a little older than and taught many interesting things when we played together in the mountains and in the rivers. He taught how to recognize edible wild fruits and vegetables, and his mother was very good at cooking and often invited to have a al together with them. Fangfang’s ho was well-furnished and nicely-decorated. It didn’t look like a country house at all. My father was afraid that I would find vanity appealing if I often played with Fangfang, so he wanted to stop from playing with him. Fortunately, my mother would agree to let go to Fangfang’s ho to have a al as long as I promised to wash dishes for them after the al. Fangfang was nice to . He would ask to enter the kitchen together with him and wash all dishes by himself. After that, he would tell everyone that it was who washed them.
“Fangfang’s mother knew everything, but she never told this to anyone. She even told the others that I was a very considerate child and often helped her wash dishes and do housework.
“My mother would never let play together with Fangfang before I finished my howork. As such, I tried my best to finish my howork well and even recite poems under the moon every night just to get a chance to play with Fangfang during the day.
“It was fun to play together with Fangfang. He could recognize herbs and find many tasty things in the wilderness. We ate the red fruit in March and edible hawthorn leaves and ferns in April. We picked raspberry, mulberry and bamboo shoots in May and wild fruits and lotus seeds in June and July. When it was autumn, we could eat so wild grapes and a special herb called ‘without sorrow’ in August and had so other wild fruits and chestnuts in the other autumn months.
“Sotis, Fangfang would take to a wood and lie on the ground to watch wide gooses fly across the late autumn sky toward the south. In December, when it snowed, I would insert my hand into his pocket to warm it while watching snowflakes falling down quietly. When he threw a snowball at my head and laughed, I would chase after him, trying to get back at him. Fangfang was almost my whole world back then.
“Unfortunately, he moved away after spending just one year with .
“Not long after he moved away, my family moved into the city and I went to a primary school in the city. Every ti I sat quietly inside my classroom and looked out at a poplar tree, I would think of the tree that I planted together with Fangfang. I would wonder how tall it was and who would co to take care of it in the rain.
“Back in the school, I always achieved outstanding scores and excelled at every subject. I was quiet, too quiet, but both the teachers and my parents liked a quiet child.
“Later, I went to a middle school and t the most disgusting thing in my life. Because of it, I beca emotionally closed off.
“I can never understand why this thing happened to . It’s hurtful and disgusting. After that incident, I went ho dejectedly and sealed myself off.
“Six years later, I ca to this university.”
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