We were too close, and my heart pounded like it was going to burst.
Even the slightest flinch made the water ripple, making each other’s body heat feel all the more raw.
“Seriously, I’ve been holding back since earlier, and it’s really fucking hard......”
The only thing reflected in those flickering violet eyes was .
“At least pity a little.”
I swallowed dryly without aning to.
Suddenly, I realized this was the first ti I’d ever felt so helpless in front of Zahid.
Because I had the mories from before ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) the regression, I’d always thought I was the one more composed in our relationship. I’d already felt these emotions countless tis, already seen that face over and over.
But being here with Zahid like this now, everything felt nothing but unfamiliar.
The way his body asked for , the expression of restraint on his face, the desperate look in his eyes, the voice laced with seduction...
‘The Zahid from before wasn’t like this...’
The Zahid before regression cared for , liked —but he never looked at with these eyes.
‘Ah.’
It was only then that I understood sothing.
‘The Zahid back then... must have pitied the who was trapped.’
That was an emotion the Zahid of now didn’t hold toward .
‘He liked , but at the sa ti, he pitied too much to even want anything from .’
My throat tightened, and my lips parted slightly.
Before regression, we may have liked each other, but from the beginning, our relationship had been extrely unbalanced.
Zahid would co to see , talk to about many things, bring gifts, give hope that I might soday get out.
He was always giving, always one-sidedly. In so ways, it was never a relationship that could be equal.
I missed that Zahid terribly. It still hurt that I was the only one who rembered those days. But even so...
‘So that’s how it was.’
I suddenly ca to a realization.
If it were before, Zahid would never have said sothing like “pity .”
“We haven’t seen each other in so long, but the mont we t, it felt like we went straight back to childhood.”
“You an how every ti you speak, I age a little more?”
The Zahid from the past never said things like “You’re making old.”
He was just kind, and no matter what I said, he always accepted it all.
But... was that really a good thing?
Thinking back on it, I liked the days in this life where I said sothing and Zahid looked at like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
I’d never thought about it in detail, but maybe it was the comfort that ca from being on equal footing.
I slowly blinked.
‘I received your grace, and I kept thinking I had to repay it—but I’ll stop that now.’
Just as Zahid could only reveal his desire for after letting go of his pity, I felt that only by freeing myself from the obligation of repaynt could I truly be honest with this feeling.
“You keep looking at and thinking of soone else...”
I had to stop thinking about that person.
Let go of the past, and focus only on the man in front of .
I wouldn’t think of you anymore.
We had both changed, and only by accepting that could I truly be with this changed version of you in this life.
Not pity, not gratitude—just the emotion of this very mont.
“Still, you have to let go of that to live in the present, young lady. The past is just the past.”
I rembered the old woman’s final piece of advice.
“Sotis it’s painful—so much I can’t breathe.”
More than anything, the Zahid of now said it hurt him when I thought of the Zahid from before.
‘...Zahid.’
I raised my wet hand and slowly cupped his cheek.
I rembered that gentle face I used to see only through the bars.
The man who showed the world when I’d been trapped from too young an age, knowing nothing. My teacher, my benefactor, my savior.
The man I’d never been able to let go of until now—but to truly live in the present, I would have to let him go soday.
The mories only I knew, I finally laid to rest in my heart.
‘Goodbye...’
My eyes filled with tears, and I quickly closed them.
Now, I would think only of the man holding in his arms.
The one with whom I’d bickered throughout our childhood, who was always there in every crucial mont of life, and who never hid his desire to protect ...
Not my teacher, not my savior, but my beloved partner.
With that, the old sorrow and regret lted away, leaving only the thrill and yearning of this mont.
As I lowered my head, our breathless sighs mingled.
Without hesitation, I pressed my lips to his.
“Mmh...”
As if he’d been waiting, his lips clung tightly to mine.
They were hotter than I expected, and softer than I imagined.
Before I knew it, his arms wrapped around my waist.
“Haah...”
Breathless gasps and unavoidable moans filled the quiet bathroom.
The slow and awkward movents, sticky as the heavy humidity surrounding us, felt weighty.
His touches were like he was handling the most precious thing in the world, and the heat spreading between our joined lips left dizzy.
My heart pounded so hard it hurt.
Before I realized, our bodies had pressed together, soaking even what little clothing we had left. His clothes, clinging to mine, were soaked through. Before I could feel cold, his warmth surrounded .
As expected of the master of the Divine Beast of Fire, his body was searingly hot.
I gasped for air, pulling back slightly, opening my eyes—when suddenly my vision flipped.
“Rosie.”
Before I knew it, Zahid had laid down at the bottom of the tub, pressing his forehead against mine as he whispered.
“Do you know how many tis I’ve imagined this mont?”
“Of course I wouldn’t... I’m not a god or anything...”
I murmured as I blinked, and Zahid let out a soft chuckle.
“...I wasn’t really asking you to answer.”
“Then why ask? You don’t know the basics of conversation...”
At my sulky complaint, Zahid let out another barely restrained laugh.
“Fair enough... right now’s not exactly the ti for talking, is it?”
And then his lips landed on my forehead, my cheeks, beside my ear, and down my neck, one after another.
Before I knew it, both my hands were pinned, and I wriggled without realizing it. His voice, completely hoarse, begged:
“If you keep moving like that under , I’m seriously going to lose it... is that okay with you?”
“If you don’t like moving so much, then just stop this... It feels weird.”
I half-whined, my eyes narrowing, and he pressed his lips to mine again, like he was trying to seduce .
“Then should we do that thing from earlier again?”
“That thing made it hard to breathe.”
“I couldn’t help it since it was the first ti.”
He blew warm breath across my skin and soothed like he was comforting a child.
“This ti, I’ll do it right. Okay?”
So in the end, he ant we were doing it again. Even as my mind clouded from the heat between our pressed bodies.
“I need to give you the ring...”
But his lips pressed over mine in urgency, stealing my breath before I could even respond. Zahid intertwined his fingers with mine and murmured:
“Next ti, no matter what—no matter what, I’ll put it on...”
Right now, I couldn’t accept the ring, not when I had to infiltrate the Idra Duchy.
Zahid pulled tighter and, parting his lips, whispered:
“I’ll make sure everyone knows Rosie Noart and Zahid Dyfenril are like this...”
“Mmh... okay...”
The second kiss was definitely sweeter, more tender.
Dazed in the lingering heat, I breathed steadily and matched his rhythm.
“Back at the Academy, even though you were last place and I was first, and we were in different classes, everyone still knew we were engaged...”
Zahid let out a deep sigh. Then he muttered, “I can’t give you space. No space at all.” And once again, his lips covered mine without a gap.
After that, I couldn’t say anything more.
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