The Snake Report Chapter 66

Chapter 66

Snake Report: Life as an ascended being, Day 3

Wow! So soon? Where was the rest of day two oh great snakey-one?

I can hear those questions being asked, even without ears.

I'll tell you where they went.

Down the insatiable appetite known as the [Voice of Gaia]

It's a greedy, greedy bastard.

As a result of my unavoidable ignorance, the rest of the day went together with no small fortune of points and mana.

I'm honestly starting to think it's toying with , telling just enough, timing the market and prices... Rigged. It's a rigged ga.

[Human Language - Northern Continent Dialect: Comprehension] - 2,000 points

Purchased. All was well.

Still didn't understand what Miss Paladin was saying.

Oh. That's right. Even in my last life, there were HUNDREDS of human languages.

Hiss...

[Human Language - Southern Continent Dialect : Comprehension] - 2,000 points

Next on the list, and mind you: It's a long list.

Purchased.

All was well.

...

This ti it worked.

I'll admit it.

But tricks.

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Like making deals with a genie. It's a lot like that. I feel like I should have been given this sort of thing from the start. I feel like I'm trying to buy a car at a dealership, and they keep tacking on more fees.

Also: Each purchase costs points, costs mana, costs ti.

Ti?

Yes. Ti. That thing I actually think we're running out of considering neither of us have eaten anything but so tiny bits of dried Eel-steak Miss Paladin had in the pouch on her belt.

Each purchase knocks the hell out. Poof, done. I wake up so ambiguous quantity of ti later with a terrible migraine.

But, it's not just that- notice the fine print: Comprehension.

See, I'm still a snake.

Snakes can't talk.

"Hiss." That's what I sound like. Even after buying these outrageously expensive things, I still sound like "Hiss."

Fine print.

Tricks.

Yes. It's a total rip-off.

A rip off that forces down a desired path, leading now on the concept of a sunk-cost to my last intended purchase.

[Knowledge Elent]

[Spirit Attendant] - Bonded Spirit of the Earth, a tool for its master. Known to accompany Divine Beasts of Legend.[8,000 Points]

Hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

That ans: "This ga is rigged" in Snake Language.

Sohow- SOHOW, I don't have enough points.

Starting at 10,000, I never would have considered this possible.

Rigged.

Hisss...

I'm complaining.

Too much, I think it's all I seem to do recently.

Gotta cut that out. Honestly, I don't have a right to complain.

I died a diocre person at best, and I ca back to life as a Snake. Instead of disappearing from existence forever, or going to hell, or being reborn as a sea-barnacle, I ca back with my mind still present.

Fucked-up reality filled with danger and death, not even possessing arms and legs: Everything is gravy. This is another shot at life, and I really shouldn't be here at all. It's important to rember.

I have no rights to complain.

None.

But I'll say this: I almost wish I couldn't understand Miss Paladin.

Snakes can do okay without food and water.

People can't.

Trouble.

We're in trouble.