Chapter Thirty-Seven
She defiantly wasn't acting amused. I caved, I reach out grabbing a strand of her hair. It wasn't as long as it uses to be. I lean forward slling it, that sweet sll of her floral shampoo and sweat lingers. I glance up feeling her eyes on . I press my lips against it. Her eyes lighten. She has always loved doing this and personally so have I. Everything about her reactions set on fire and had on edge. I'd react in a way I foreign to till I first laid eyes on her in that hotel room. Fuck, if Michovali was good for anything. His one major screw up ended up being probably the best fucking thing in my life even with the ups and downs. Makes almost sad I killed the bastard. Not really though he's lucky I granted him a quick death. That fucker David won't have it so easy once we are done with him.
I sigh a little. "Alright, you can't bla ." I say dropping her hair. "Your still so oblivious when it cos to the n around you. Personally, I would like to rip out anyone's eyes who's ever looked at you in a way that's suggestive."
A smirk appears across her face almost teasingly. "Well then according to you that would be just about everyone I walk by. Seems a little over the top."
I shrug. "You use to like to over the top, possessive, selfish bastard I am." Her smirk fades.
"Do you think we can go back so easily after everything Ren?" She stands walking around picking up pieces of her clothes off the floor. I watch her every movent silently. She sighs. "I hurt, you hurt . Still I don't know how not to love you." My chest tightens to her confession. "I don't know how to trust you completely though." I see a single tear begin to trickle down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away. "So, how do we go back." Her body was shaking I stood walking slowly to her. I wrap her in my embrace because I didn't know what else to do but to try and hold her together.
"We don't go back." I whisper holder her head against my chest. There was to much pain in the past. "We start a new, a new you and , a new future." My heart was turning in knots. "Co put those on and we can go back to your room. We can talk I can even give you a back massage if you like. I feel her head shift off my chest looking up at , I et her eyes a lite in them and a playful smile on them. It hits , I had never done that before not once being with her. Make a ntal note to do it more often.
****
Honestly, I hadn't ant to get all serious and make him feel bad, but all my fears and pain started looking out when he pointed out that I might not like his old self. Maybe I didn't exactly. I love Ren he made feel excited, and my stomach was in butterflies every ti he looked at . When he kisses no matter what's happened or, how much ti as passed. my heart screams that I can't live without this aching and exciting feeling where it can't decide if it will race or feel at peace by his side. Still he's not the Ren from before he shows my patience then he ever has and understanding, it almost frightens more because I feel like I'm falling harder then the first ti we t. I want to just lay all my worries on the table, and see if he will pick them up and shoulder them.
The rest of last night was like a dream. Well it mostly was because from the mont we hit my room, he ordered to strip and lay on the bed. When I wouldn't take the order he did, what he does best. The teasing began and layers of clothes ca off of for Christ sake I was hot and bothered again. However, he picked up carried to the bed and rolled onto my stomach. My heart races. I close my eyes thinking back to the panic I felt as he went and Riffled through my bag. I knew he liked things rough and we hadn't tried it yet but was he planning to go there. I try to imagine my first ti letting him to that scared how much it would hurt. The bed shifts I hear him start chuckling lowly, almost seductively. His voice still ringing in my head "Relax love." His body was over mine a second later his sweats still on. I look over my shoulder a wicked smile on his face saying it all. He knew what I was thinking. His hands firmly rubbed over my back, I rember how good it felt, but at first the lotion on his hands was so cold, I gasped in surprise whining he could have warned . He found it amusing and decided to dump more lotion on until I had just beco use to it that I couldn't tell anymore.
Still after he started really rubbing, I almost passed out instantly. I woke in late morning Ren had been awake going over paperwork with Mike quietly and there was a try of orange juice, French toast and eggs and bacon sitting on the night stand next to . Ren looks over a sexy smile suddenly on his face, I smile back pulling the covers higher, Mike leaves the room.
"Morning beautiful." He says, walking over, he bends down his lips brush mine. I want to lt.
"Morning." I feel little bashful then normal.
"Hungry?" He grabs the tray and places it on the bed. I look at him skeptically.
"I could eat." I shrug.
"Well if you're not hungry can always continue from last night with you on your stomach seeing as your eyes where practically begging to." The spark was there with a hint of amusents.
"Maybe I just hungry for freshly cooked sausage." I smile back in amusent as his face smirk falters into a little cringe.
"You're never going to let forget what your capable of now are you?" I laugh at his question.
"Nope." I linger a little on the O as I say it.
He smiles, "Eat up my love we are going to go see you father this morning, and before you panic. He's fine, but I'm sure seeing you will make him feel better."
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