What the fuck did he just say my eyes grew wide. I can tell hes fighting with himself at his own surprise to his own words. Seems he also hadn't planned to ask. Which only added to my frustration.
"Why?"I say through gritted teeth "Why are you asking after all this none sense. Nothing has changed so why?" I feel as if each word is a promise to rip out his throat if he says the wrong thing.
****
The hell had I just said. See this is why I don't express my feelings. Christ shes freaked out that I just blurted it out. Fuck , but now that it's out there do I want to take it back? Shit, asking feels so right my hearts raceing telling all that matters is being with her, fuck the rest of it. I love her. When I thought she had been killed I part of felt dead. I wanted to loose it. If Maliki hadn't been there to keep my feet on the ground I'd probably have went on a mass killing spree. When I saw she was alive but didn't see I felt distressed. A feeling I didn't like. I need her with to be at peace. I looked at her more sure, kissing the palm of her hand as she sat in my lap. I looked up into her beautiful green eyes that looked as if they would choke the life out of and fuck I'd let her if she'd accept.
I take a deep breath "I'm a fool Angel marry ." I watched as tears fell from perfect green pools.
"Answer my god damn question!" She practically hisses. "Why now?"
"Because I learned what it felt like to lose you and I ain't going to let you go, I lov.."
"Shut up!" She hisses again. "Don't you dare," she climbs out of my lap and back over to her own seat ungracefully I might add. "Don't you dare, while you sll like another woman tell you love and ask to marry you. Your asking out of fear and control. Sad part is I want to say yes Ren, God I want to, but not like this. When you ask I don't want it to be because you blurt it out because your losing control and you're not getting your way. I want you to be sure because it's what you want, because I want to be the only one you see Ren. I'm not going to sit at ho like I did with David like a doll stupid and naive again. Least before I didn't have to worry about catching anything because he didn't touch . Even if that's humiliating. It be worse sleeping with you and wondering who else your with and if I'm going to catch it."
Her pain and anger where all over her face and perfectly justified. I feel like I just got sucker punched in the gut losing all wind and then was stabbed in the heart with all the pain I have caused her. I looked out the window to see Maliki isn't taking us to The manor we have been staying at.
"Where are we going?" I growl trying to ignore the pain in my chest.
"To where Anna wanted to go, She et her ex at her old friends house. It's better if we take her and are with her rather than she runs off on her own and gets into trouble" His answer is straight to the point and has a tone that says he isn't going to let argue. Problem was he had a fucking point. "Beside sooner this all ends sooner you too can stop pussy footing around get over your damn pride and just get hitched. I'd like to see my niece or nephew in the future." He flashes a wicked smile in the mirror. Mike starts laughing but I see Anna's face go pale. I can't help feeling upset by her troubled expression to having a child with .
We pull up outside a two story hour a corner light illuminates part of the yard and front of the house. The likes in the living room are on. She begins to get out. I start to follow.
"What are you doing" She gasps grabbing my arm to keep from opening the door.
"You don't think I'm letting you go in there alone unard do you." She frowns at .
"Who the hell do you think your talking to first off yes I'm going in alone, secondly who ever said I was unard. You guys trained do you think I would have went to that place unprepared" she pulls up her skirt relieving the holsters. Fuck my own gun sparks to life at her action and that's all it cares about. She was deadly beauty. "If I go up to the door with you in toe the he's not even going to open the door. I need him Ren or everything I have been working for ends. I'm not letting him escape again to hurt anyone else I care about." Her eyes were even never leaving mine she wasn't going to back down my lioness was on the hunt.
"Five minutes angel. If your not out in five minutes then I'm coming in after you and when this is done we are going to readdress my question. Yes I asked in shitty way, Yes I deserve rejection. However; I'd be lying to myself if I dropped this now that it's out. Besides you heard Maliki he's expecting a niece like her mama to play with." I smile brushing a hair back.
There it was again that worry in her eyes, she looks away and nods. "Yes we should talk because there's sothing you should know.
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