«Read this, Aoshi!» Takuma shouts, his eyes shining like a pair of headlights as he waves the booklet from the erotic RPG in front of his friend’s face. «Now I get why the Deluxe Edition costs so much — they added the option to—»
«Takuma, stop it! We’re in the middle of the street! If a cop heard you, we’d get arrested!» Aoshi snaps, his face burning red with embarrassnt.
They climb the creaky, rusted stairs of the old apāto, reaching the landing of the first floor where Aoshi’s apartnt is.
Takuma sniffs the air like a bloodhound.
«Aaaah, that sll! Sothing slls amazing! My stomach’s already growling!»
«It’s probably the old lady next door,» Aoshi mutters. «She spends her life cooking one delicious al after another while I’m stuck eating instant udon...»
Ah, if only I had a nice girlfriend who cooked for ... I’d co ho tired from work, welcod by the sll of her cooking. She’d make sit down, massage my feet, and then — «Aoshi, my love... after such a long, hard day, you must be exhausted... if you want... I can do that thing with my mouth you like so much... can I, my dear Aoshi?»
Aaaaaah, that would be way too good to be true... Co on, let’s be realistic: I’m neither handso nor rich — why would anyone ever fall in love with , or even find interesting? My life really sucks...
«Don’t mind the ss,» Aoshi mumbles as he turns the key in the lock. «I don’t have a girlfriend to clean for , and I can’t afford a maid. Between university and my part-ti job, I barely have ti to—»
What the—?
Silence.
Aoshi and Takuma freeze completely.
«Welco ho, my love. Since our place was a bit of a ss, I took the liberty of tidying up, washing the dishes, and doing the laundry for the clothes you left lying around — I hope you don’t mind. You must be hungry too, so I’m preparing you a nice dinner,» Eliss says, her radiant smile lighting up the room brighter than the sun.
Error 404: Aoshi’s brain not found.
Too many questions, images, and thoughts crash together in his head, sending him into total ltdown.
The apartnt is spotless from top to bottom — plates neatly arranged in the cupboard, clothes folded, and the stale sll of humidity replaced by a fresh lemon scent.
But that’s not even the shocking part.
Even though he’d left her money and a note, Eliss is still there, cooking sothing that slls like the most delicious al he’s ever had since moving into this tiny apartnt near Ueda University.
But there’s sothing else — sothing far more shocking than the spotless apartnt.
Eliss is practically naked.
All she’s wearing is a frilly apron that does a decent job of covering the front, but from behind... it’s as if she’s not wearing anything at all.
And she’s facing away from them.
The flawless curves of her small but perfectly sculpted butt — smooth as if carved from marble — are revealed before the stunned eyes of Aoshi and Takuma. A heavenly sight that takes their simple minds a few long seconds to fully process.
«Aoshi... AOSHI!» Takuma shouts, his voice cracking as every drop of blood in his brain rushes south. He’s never seen a half-naked girl in real life before — only in 2D.
He grabs Aoshi by the neck and starts shaking him violently.
«WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! WHAT DO YOU AN YOU’VE GOT A DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS GIRL COOKING FOR YOU COMPLETELY NAKED?! You replaced the goddess Miori Yukinaga overnight with soone even sexier, and you still had the guts to act depressed this morning?!»
«I-It’s not what it looks like, I swear!» Aoshi gasps, barely able to breathe as Takuma keeps shaking him.
«Keep your filthy hands off my beloved Aoshi, insect,» Eliss hisses. Her voice is cold as ice, and her gaze sharp and murderous.
Takuma flinches so hard he almost falls backward, grabbing the door to keep from collapsing.
«R-Right... of course...» he stamrs, trembling. «You paid her, didn’t you? She’s one of those naked cleaning ladies that are popular in Northern Europe, right? And here you were saying you couldn’t even afford a regular maid... You sly dog, Aoshi — you could’ve just told ! For a second I thought you’d actually scored with a bombshell like her. I’ll still give her a bad review, though — what a temper!»
«Y-Yeah, exactly, right Eliss?» Aoshi says, forcing a nervous smile. «She’s... uh, a service I hired to help get over the whole Miori thing. But the agency rules say no one besides the client can see her while she’s working, so... Takuma, if you don’t mind, could you leave us alone? We’ll play tomorrow, I promise.»
«Oh, I see...» Takuma smirks, giving Aoshi a few knowing elbows. «Didn’t know that kind of service was included. She washes, irons, cooks — and even entertains you... whoever ca up with this job deserves at least three Nobel Prizes!»
«Y-Yeah... great idea... now could you please leave?» Aoshi insists, pushing him toward the door.
But Takuma’s body is like a block of iron, and Eliss — standing right in front of him — seems to pull him toward her like a powerful magnet.
«Please, Aoshi! Just let peek through the window, I beg you—»
«TAKUMA. OUT. NOW!»
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