I return to Yrania the next day with a ss of emotions churning in my stomach. Fear, anxiety, apprehension, as well as a desire to finally get all of this over with run through my mind. If what Yrania said is correct, I'll eventually rember my past life, but it's safest with Yrania's help. I can't help but be apprehensive, I'm subconsciously locking those mories away for a reason, and I don't think I'll like who I was, but if there's a chance it won't affect who I am now, then I'll take it.
"How does this work?" I ask tentatively
"We need to draw out your mories. Normally they would co to you as you experience similar things in your current life, but that isn't the problem. First, ditate, clear your mind of everything, then focus on the childhood of your previous life," Yrania Explains.
I do so, finding a comfortable spot on the ground. Once my mind is clear and my emotions calm, I think back on my childhood, not of my previous life, but rather I start with my current life. It was mostly peaceful with caring friends and family. I never did rember my previous life's childhood; perhaps it was different?
"You're on the right track; I can see so resolution," Yrania encourages .
I don't think I had a good past life, but that doesn't matter anymore. If my childhood wasn't good, then why? Were my parents not good parents? Were we poor?
"You're almost there, Alysara, just a little more."
Everything about this life is the opposite of my past life; just how bad was it?
As if answering my question, mories flood through my mind, and I feel Yrania's Bond flowing through my mind, taming the torrent of mories. mories of abusive, drugged-up parents beating when I was seven, my father being sent to prison, and a school friend being shot during a shooting.
It all made even more grateful for my current life, and of all the places Myrou could have reincarnated , this place is certainly the best place. I am glad I don't live in a run-down crack house in this life.
I shudder at the mories, glad that they feel distant, like a bad dream.
"Grandmother Safyr often says that tyranny is the rule, which implies that it is a fact that we should just accept, but I disagree," Yrania says. "It is the opposition to oppressive forces and circumstances that drives change. Tyranny is not sothing to tolerate; it is an obstacle to overco. You lived an oppressive past life; did you simply accept being tried on, or did you fight back?"
"I... Don't know, I was only a child during those mories," I know the answer, but I don't like it. It's why I focused so much on developing myself early in this life when the mories most had an influence on before I rejected them.
"I'm not reading your mories," Yrania reassures . "But I can tell your past life does not get better."
I nod. I already expect that; however, there is sothing deep within my subconscious that is telling to stop, to not rember.
"Are you sure that these mories will return on their own no matter what?" I ask, making sure that what we are doing is necessary.
"Yes. These co from your soul, not your vessel's mory; you can only delay it for so long. Think of it as lting ice atop a lake; eventually, it will weaken enough, and you'll fall through. It's already weak, and you'll rember them within the next few years."
That fits the tiline that Myrou said my mories would have all returned. But this makes a new question, If I rember everything now, will Myrou want to show these mories sooner? I might as well get it over with, but am I ready for that?
Sothing to consider later, for now, I should try to rember the next part of my past life. My subconscious is telling to stop, to not go any further, but I continue I focus on my past life's teenage years. What was it like? If it gets worse, then how does it? Did I get into drugs? Gangs? No, I hid away from the world, sothing I wished I hadn't.
With that realization, more mories wash over . mories of reclusion, when I'd play video gas all day to avoid the realities of life. Sothing I'd yet to fully understand but had an awareness of. With the advancent of technology and the governnt taking over, those in power were arresting and executing anyone who disagreed and spoke out against the governnt.
I didn't fight; how could I? I was just a powerless teenager then, and I needed a job to support myself. I couldn't even speak out since that'd ruin my social credit that the governnt had implented.
Work, school, and playing video gas; that's all I did. Playing gas itself wasn't a problem; the problem was that I was doing it as a way to run from reality, just like an alcoholic would drink their problems away or how a drug addict would use drugs to escape from responsibilities.
I would often wish to learn a skill, play the piano, or learn to draw, but I never did any of those. Hedonism never made my life fulfilling, yet in my chase of happiness, that was exactly what I pursued; I would never do what was necessary to learn skills and improve myself.
This progressed well into my adult life, but that's when the full realities of life sunk in. The governnt beca more controlling, the police beca more corrupt, people were sent to gulags, and my situation beca more hopeless. A ruined economy, wars, and fear of the totalitarian governnt didn't make life prosperous.
Yet, even through all of that, I simply lived. I worked on the weekdays just so I could enjoy my weekends. I wasn't alive; I was just going through the motions.
Once again, the mories feel distant with no influence over .
"You had strong regret," Yrania says. "That much is obvious, and although I've done what I can, its influence has already been ingrained in you, although that may have been for the better."
I nod in agreent. As much as I'd hate to admit, the lingering regret over not improving myself has led to my current life being better.
"Age does not make one wise; failure does." Yrania continues, "It is important to rember our failures, and fortunately for you, you have another life of them. You should not lock these mories away, for they are an excellent resource to you."
I've already recovered most of the technical mories; the only thing I can learn are the ones intrinsic to the lifestyle I had lived, which isn't very comparable to the one I live now.
"How many more do I have to rember?" I ask curiously.
"Two, although the last one is impossibly large... I'm not sure if I am strong enough to protect you from it."
"The ti my soul spent in the void?" I ask to confirm.
"Yes," Yrania nods. "I've never seen anything that cos close to how much you've rembered. However, despite the risk, I think there is sothing important in it."
"Sothing important?" I ask.
"I do not know what it is; I will not read your mories unless you give permission to but even then, it would be hard for because the mories are sealed away. Even if I can, the sheer vastness of the mories of the ti you spent in the void will make it hard for to find what is important."
"So I need to rember it," I say. I do not know how she knows that sothing is important, but it's probably sothing to do with an evolved skill of hers.
I focus back on my mories; it's not hard to guess what happened next. The governnt was too aggressive in war, and it finally caught up to them.
Another flood of mories fills my mind to confirm my suspicions, but it was worse than I'd imagined. It started with skirmishes with another world superpower which, over the course of two years, devolved into a bloody war with people being drafted. Fortunately, I was never among those drafted, but the war was unpopular, and there were many protests that were quickly suppressed by the police.
That was when a group of insurrectionists ard with the military equipnt of the enemy superpower attacked a military base. With the vast majority of soldiers fighting on the front lines, those in the base could do little against the rebelling force. The rebels gained more equipnt and public support. Like a spark that ignited a forest fire, more people took this chance to rebel, and a full civil war broke out. However, I did not join them. Like a coward, I just kept my head down and tried my best to stay out of the fighting. Instead of fighting against a tyrannical governnt, I hid; if I did fight, maybe I would have lived longer.
With most of the governnt's forces overseas, the rebels quickly swept through the states; the police weren't capable of stopping so many people, especially when so of them had military-grade weapons. The governnt started doing all it could and bombed cities with the few forces still in the states.
The last mory I have of that life was the sound of bombs dropping and crashing in my apartnt. At least it was painless. Don't know why they bombed the city I lived in; the rebellion wasn't even there, that I knew of, but it doesn't matter anymore.
Looking back, I never accomplished anything aningful. I worked low-paying skilless jobs, being taken advantage of by corporations until everything fell apart around . I don't want to live like that again, where my life is purposeless and aningless, where I live solely to be taken advantage of by everyone around . I will be the master of my own fate.
"The rest of your mories will be hard on you," Yrania warns . "We can do this another day if you want."
I shake my head.
"Let's get it over with now."
Let's see what is so important about my ti in the void.
"I'll do what I can to suppress them, but this ti, you may end up reliving the mories; they'll be more vivid and feel more real."
I nod and steel myself, focusing on my ti in the void. It helps having first woken up there by Myrou with recent mory pertaining to the void.
I fell deeper and deeper into my ditation, the process taking longer. Yrania must have been helping recover the mories. Slowly everything around seems to change, and I begin to hear 'Tings' in my mind chiming like an alarm clock reawakening my mories.
mories flood my mind, an endless torrent sweeping up and carrying along with them. mories of a ti spent in the void, drifting as my soul falls dormant. A 'Ting' rings in my mind, dozens, hundreds of trillions of them, an endless torrent of notifications as ti seems to pass in an instant but at the sa ti, every second feels stretched out beyond imagination.
* * *
Dim red stars that represent entire realms blanket . All around , everywhere I look, I see the stars. I am slowly drifting away from one of them, tinted with grey, with life. There are others that are tinted with a different color, possible signs of life within them.
Slowly they spread, the colors infesting other dim red stars, the life in the realms discovering inter-realm travel. I wonder how long has passed since I died; I am quite far from my realm now. When did that happen? Is ti the sa here, where 'here' is?
I continue to watch the spread of life throughout the multiverse, and I notice that so stars fade out and vanish, but new stars flares into existence, brighter and more vibrant than the realms before them.
Are they changing?
It seems that each new generation of realm evolves, or perhaps they have slightly different laws.
One thing is clear, the realms with life seem to live longer than those that don't. It's possible that life is sohow extending the lifespan of their universe, delaying the end of ti for that realm. However, they can't stop the end forever. I watch as the realm I am drifting away from slowly fades and finally disappears.
I can't help but feel a sense of loss. That was my ho where I once lived, and yet it doesn't even matter anymore. The grey that originated from it, Humanity, has lived on, in other younger realms, the legacy of that universe.
I watch as the grey conquers the multiverse; sotis, it lives in harmony with other life that started from the other realms. Sotis peace wasn't possible, and the other life was extinguished. Eventually, all the realms sported the empire of humanity.
By now, I watch the Multiverse from the edge of this place. No longer are stars all around , but now I watch from the edge of the sphere of stars. Will I continue to drift away forever until no more realms can be seen? Will I find another multiverse? Will I just be lost forever? How long has it been? Humanity had finally conquered the entire multiverse, but it feels as if only a few hours have passed by, yet it also feels like an eternity.
Suddenly a star near the center of the multiverse flashes brightly, blinding, even; shifting to a blue hue and sothing rings in my mind, like a wind chi. A wave seems to ripple outward, encompassing all realms and washing over .
Ting! Humanity has discovered Mana! The Age of Mana has begun!
Reviews
All reviews (0)