Now the chamber was silent.
Or… it should have been.
Instead—
There was a sound.
A terrible, soul-erasing sound.
Pakh. Pakh. PAKH.
It echoed.
Unholy slapping.
at on obsidian.
Sin on sin.
Even the heavens flinched.
Birds dropped dead in the upper realms. A Daoist monk woke from ditation screaming "NOOOO!" A holy beast cried in the distance and lost its enlightennt.
The Dark God's statue didn't move. But if it could, it would definitely be pressing charges.
And Su Xiaobai?
He was still going.
Slap.
Slap.
PAKH.
"You cursed her to silence," Su Xiaobai growled. His eyes glinted like the eyes of a man who'd eaten karma for breakfast and chased it with divine disrespect. "I gave her rhythm… TAKE IT, BITCH!"
SMACK!
He slapped the obsidian ass again, a thunderous crack echoing through the chamber.
Then he took three dramatic steps back like a stage actor about to deliver his grand monologue—
—and began to sing.
"Dark God, oh Dark God,
trapped in your gloom,
now I present...
the at of doom—!"
He twirled dramatically, hips swinging, before stepping forward and dry-humping the air in ti with the beat.
Yu Feng was long unconscious, having passed out the mont he started freestyling divine defilent.
But Su Xiaobai?
Oh, he was thriving.
He lined up behind the statue, gripped the obsidian hips, and with no hesitation shoved in.
PAKH!
The sound echoed like a divine slap across the face of the heavens.
"One thrust for Chaos,
one thrust for Dao,
I bless you now,
with my sacred plow—!"
He picked up rhythm.
Slaps on marble.
Unforgivable noises.
Air warping from godly violation.
PAKH. PAKH. PAKH.
The walls wept condensation.
A bat in the corner had a seizure.
"You wanted devotion,
but got this instead—
a madman's potion,
right through your head!"
He leaned in and whispered against the statue's unmoving ear:
"Do you feel that, huh?
That's the Dao of Despair—
It's veiny, spiritual, and semi-aware!"
Then he reared back, grabbed both divine cheeks like he was molding bread dough, and yelled:
"BAKED IN THE OVEN OF HEAVEN—TI TO TURN UP THE FLA!"
He summoned Infernal flas!
Lit her marble shinny butt on fire.
SSSSSZZHHHHH.
"Ooh, listen to that sizzle," he grinned. "Dark roast—god edition!"
And just when the heavens thought it couldn't get worse…
He pulled out.
Climbed the pedestal.
Aid.
"This is for cursing with eternal delusions, AND ssing with my emotional developnt—!"
SHUA!
He ejaculated across the statue's face again, the liquid flashing with light,
the mont so wrong it looped back around and beca religious.
Then—
as if all this wasn't enough—
He unzipped his robe a second ti and began peeing.
Golden stream.
Right on the statue's nose.
"♫ Blessed be thy frozen gaze,
kiss my stream for brighter days,
Su Xiaobai's rain shall cleanse thy sins,
now open wide and let it in— ♫"
He was literally singing a dark hymn about urinating on a god, while slowly rotating for better aim.
"♫ Baptize her in villain's grace,
mark this shrine with Xiaobai's race— ♫"
A twisted hymn to his own glory.
"Blessings upon the Dark God,
Bathed in Xiaobai's essence—
Purified by golden rain,
May she never know peace again—"
The cave echoed with the slapping of water and unholy lody.
And as he turned for his final note—
PAKH! PAKH!
The last echoes of slapping ass and dripping liquid rolled through the cave.
Sowhere in the heavens, a divine tribunal sat in stunned silence, one elder slowly removing his halo and walking into the sun.
And sowhere, far above in the celestial halls—A choir of immortal monks spontaneously combusted.
_______
After what felt like eternity, Drying off, starting a family, dying, reincarnating, defiling divinity, Su Xiaobai had one conclusion:
"This world's beyond fucked."
Back in the chamber, he gave the statue of the Dark Goddess one final look of disdain—
Then casually shoved her into the water like trash.
SPLASH.
"No class. Zero rhythm," he muttered.
Then with a sigh, he picked up the statue again, and with barely veiled irritation, threw it into his ring world.
To his surprise, the Qi was working again.
Finally.
Ti was moving.
Sort of.
According to Lulu back inside the ring world, no ti had passed for them.
Which ant this whole thing was likely a dream realm, A temporal loop, Or just another one of the Dark Goddess's divine mood swings.
Su Xiaobai didn't care, he was done asking questions.
He grabbed the Dark Tab again, and instantly—
WOOOMMM.
Dark energy surged up his arm like venom.
Veins twisted black.
His eyes dimd, blank.
The tablet levitated from his palm,
spun faster and faster in the air.
Whizzzzz!
And with a sharp whistle, It shot into the glowing mark between his eyebrows, slamming directly into his Niwan Palace.
He froze.
Exhaled.
…For a second there, he thought he activated the Dark Goddess boss fight.
Inside his sea of consciousness,
He found the Dark Tab resting calmly,
Pulsing like a demon's heartbeat.
When he extended his hand, the cave responded.
Dark Qi. Everywhere.
He grinned.
The Tab didn't just give him access to Dark Qi.
It made him its commander of darkness!
But there was a catch.
He realized it imdiately.
The Tab granted control, but only to the extent his mind could bear. And in places with weak Dark Qi? It was just a fancy paperweight.
But this cave?
It was pure Dark Qi.
And Su Xiaobai?
He was done playing small.
BANG!
He raised a hand, and with a casual flex of his will, commanded the dark elent of the entire cave.
The walls shook.
Rocks split.
A path opened.
His aura, now reinforced by the purest dark elent in existence, briefly exceeded deity-level.
He smirked, and turned back.
Made his way to the earlier cave, the one where ti had been frozen.
And dumped Yu Feng's unconscious body on the ground like a sack of laundry.
She groaned.
Eyes fluttered open.
The first thing she saw—
Su Xiaobai staring down at her.
"You…" she muttered.
Then it hit her.
The mory.
The statue.
The defilent.
The horrifying slapping sounds.
Her eyes sharpened like knives.
"You'll get us both killed!" she hissed, sitting up quickly. She glanced around, alard. "Where's the statue?! Where's the shrine?! Where did—"
Su Xiaobai blinked, innocently.
"What statue? You hallucinating?"
He even threw in two of the fakest, most suspicious blinks in human history.
"…What?" Yu Feng looked again.
This wasn't the sa place.
No stream.
No divine presence.
Different part of the cave entirely.
"You fainted," Su Xiaobai said smoothly,
"Started mumbling and screaming… You even scratched ... I had to carry you by myself!"
He lifted his sleeve, showing a very real, very dramatic-looking scratch.
Yu Feng's expression darkened, her face flushed with sha.
"… I… I must've been dreaming…"
Her voice was soft, embarrassed, and cracked with disbelief.
'Did I imagine all of it? The statue... the slapping…?'
She lowered her head.
"…I'm sorry."
'Oh heavens,' she thought. 'Why was that dream so… vivid?'
Su Xiaobai just smiled.
One hand resting behind his back, the other brushing so imaginary dust off his chest.
"It's fine," Su Xiaobai said, his voice calm, "We all see strange things in the dark..."
He smiled. And then, slowly, he reached up, tapping the center of his brow.
From his Niwan Palace, the 'Dark Tab' erged.
It hovered above his hand, buzzing faintly—
vibrating as if sniffing out dark energy like a spirit dog hungry for evil.
Yu Feng's breath caught.
At first, she couldn't help herself—she grabbed it.
Held it like a newborn.
And then she scread.
"It's real—! It's actually real!"
But as the initial euphoria drained,
she turned to look at him, more serious now, eyes narrowing.
"Where… where did you find it?"
She had to ask, because if this was truly the Dark Tab, then they could finally escape this cave.
Even though the dark Qi in this area was thin, the tablet could manipulate and command it directly.
With that kind of control, they could attack the very structure of the cave, undoing the binding formations that kept them trapped.
Destroy the foundation—
Collapse the realm.
It was that simple.
And Su Xiaobai?
He could've done it long ago.
But he didn't.
Because he rembered this place.
He'd lived it before.
In a dream.
Or maybe a cycle.
Or maybe in a different tiline entirely.
And he ca back here on purpose.
"There." He pointed ahead.
Yu Feng followed his gaze, and her breath caught a second ti.
There, blooming from the cracked floor of the cave, was a single dark lotus—violet and black. Six feet wide, it rose like an elegant monster.
Dark Lotus.
Rare.
Sacred.
Incredibly potent for dark-elent cultivators.
"Dark Lotus…" Yu Feng whispered, stunned.
One could step inside, ditate, and absorb its dark essence directly into the ridians.
Su Xiaobai rembered this from last ti.
In that dream or mory or loop—he and Yu Feng had found the lotus together.
They thought it would help her break through and free them from the cave. But even after she absorbed its energy...
Nothing happened.
Because this place wasn't just a sealed realm.
It was a trap.
A maze ford by forgotten divine logic.
Sothing not ant to be broken by normal ans.
Su Xiaobai considered using the Lotus himself, but he wouldn't gain much.
He was already at the 'Soul Fusion Realm',
and his core path was "Stellar Energy"—
sothing far removed from darkness.
So instead, he shoved Yu Feng forward.
"Go on," he muttered, "darkness suits you anyway."
The petals opened wide, like welcoming arms.
Yu Feng looked back once, hesitant.
Then stepped in.
The lotus closed around her, its petals curling like a sleeping dragon, sealing her inside with a soft hum.
Su Xiaobai finally sighed in relief.
Letting her absorb the lotus' full energy would at least give her a fighting chance.
Because after this?
They would have to navigate the "Dinsional Gateway."
And that—
That was no joke.
It could throw them anywhere.
To the top of the heavens.
To the deepest hell.
To the inside of a divine toilet bowl if they were unlucky.
Even with the Dark Tab in hand, they'd need maximum strength to survive what ca next.
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