————
Chapter 156: Anxiety (4)
*Ding dong.*
Despite Ressimus knocking on the door, there was no response from inside.
“I’ll co in, Arin.”
As she opened the door and entered, she saw Arin sitting in a chair, staring blankly at the ceiling.
“I brought so snacks. Would you like to have sothing? You haven’t eaten anything for a while.”
Arin’s condition was truly a picture of listlessness, having lost all enthusiasm for everything.
It was a stark contrast to her usual vibrant and lively self, evoking pity in those who saw her.
“I’m so pathetic, aren’t I, Ressimus?”
“It’s not like I didn’t expect to be rejected, but why do I feel so miserable, like the world has ended, as if I’m so pitiful?”
After the encounter with the royal family at the academy, Cyan had suddenly declared their engagent annulled.
The reason was that he could no longer stay at the academy, and he didn’t elaborate further.
Shortly after, news spread throughout the academy that Cyan had submitted his withdrawal application to the administration office.
“Now, it’s only natural that there’s nothing we can do about it. Considering how much Princess Arin…”
“Because I like him a lot?”
“…!”
Ressimus was montarily at a loss for words.
“I’m not denying it now. That’s right. I really liked Cyan.”
Despite expressing her honest feelings, Arin’s face remained expressionless.
“Since we parted on the battlefield, I think I’ve liked him all along. I’ve tried to express my feelings to match his and to beco a better version of myself, but in the end, I couldn’t beco Cyan’s person. Or more precisely, Cyan didn’t need …”
Even though Ressimus wanted to offer words of comfort, she couldn’t find anything to say.
No matter how many good words she brought, it seed impossible to alleviate Arin’s current mood.
“When my sister and brother ca to visit during the day, I was honestly scared. It felt like I had returned to my past self that I had forgotten. A powerless princess who couldn’t do anything. That was my true self.”
Thinking back to that mont when Violet said those words, she still felt embarrassed.
“But when Cyan ca, all the anxiety disappeared, and I felt relieved and calm. Should I call it a source of strength? I felt so much respect for him, even to face those brothers whom I had been so afraid of, as he was facing them confidently…”
In her hand, she held a docunt that Cyan had given her during the day.
“Why did Cyan give this to ? Perhaps it’s a sign for to protect myself? He probably wanted to convey the ssage to always be careful and prepared, as I never know when and where sothing might happen.”
It was like a kind of final gift.
Or rather, it also ant there was no next.
“Cyan always cared for , such a flawed person, until the end, but what did I do for him? Instead of doing anything for Cyan, I don’t even know anything about him…”
It’s just that he’s the son of a duke who’s a little special from others.
From the beginning, Cyan had never confided anything about himself to Arin.
“Cyan clearly said he lives for herself, but what exactly does he live for? Could it be that I can’t fit into the life he seeks?”
“Please, don’t feel too disheartened! If Arin didn’t an anything to Cyan, he wouldn’t have given you such advice! I think he said it to an that you should live well even without him!”
“Yeah. That must be it. Cyan has always been like that. But now that I can’t say those words next to him, it must an that I have to overco this on my own, right?”
As if agreeing with Ressimus’ words, Arin nodded slightly.
But…
“But Ressimus, can I really do it?”
Arin wasn’t sure.
“Cyan probably doesn’t need anymore, but I still need him. Can I navigate through this daunting future without Cyan by my side? I’m not sure of myself anymore…”
Her voice gradually began to fade.
“I… I’m unsure…”
Thick tears fell from her reddened eyelashes, dampening the floor.
“I’m supposed to show that I can live well without him, but I don’t have the confidence… Just a little more, or just staying by my side would be so nice… Why can’t I cling to that?”
As tears continued to flow like rain, even her sobbing could be heard now.
“I’m such a fool…”
A helpless princess who couldn’t do anything.
The ugly side of her that she never wanted to see again was appearing without filtering through her tears.
* * *
“Enough! I give up, Cyan!”
Set, who declared surrender, fell to the floor as if his strength had run out.
“The sky looks unusually clear tonight…”
The night sky was dotted with shining stars, as if celebrating.
The boy, who suddenly raised his head, looked at and asked.
“Just be honest with ! How much of your strength did you use while fighting ?”
“Whatever you think, it’s less than half.”
“You’re like a monster…”
He stuck his tongue out and then flopped back down.
“In the end, even if I charge at you with a whole battalion, it’s hard for you to get a single scratch, right? You don’t even feel any regret about this.”
One of the driving forces behind human advancent is knowing the feeling of regret that arises when you get close to your goal but can’t reach it.
Humans strive for better growth based on that feeling of regret.
However, if a huge barrier is erected to the point where even such emotions cannot be felt, then despair and helplessness naturally set in, leading to decline.
That seed to be the current state of the boy.
“Can I ask you sothing?”
“Go ahead.”
Contrary to what I expected him to ask, Set hesitated for a mont.
“Would I, who ran wild in the ruins, have had a hard ti defeating you?”
It was an unexpectedly serious tone for him.
“I don’t know. We didn’t fight to the end.”
It was not a joking statent ant to ease the mood, but a sincere one.
Why would a human in a coma be frightening?
Because at that mont, it’s not facing a human, but a being from another dinsion.
The sand god who originally planned to use this fellow to kill , I couldn’t even be sure of the outco if we had fought to the end.
“Is that so?”
Seemingly realizing sothing, he quickly dusted himself off and got up.
“It may sound trivial, but I’ve always thought of myself as the strongest human in the kingdom. When that mysterious guy suddenly ca and went on a rampage, no one could stop him.”
I don’t think that’s necessarily wrong.
Especially considering there’s no student here at the academy who could dare to challenge you.
“So I thought I needed to make myself even stronger. So that even if that guy ca back, I wouldn’t be controlled by him! That way, as my true self, I could protect our kingdom!”
Yeah.
In a past life, you had already achieved that level, if not surpassed it…
“People used to say, whatever enters my body is a manifestation of the guardian deity of this land, Sabulom. If that’s true, then you, who I faced during the rampage, must have had a power similar to that deity, right? Isn’t that right?”
I just nodded silently, implying to think as you wish.
“The more I think about it, the more amazing it seems. Unlike , who forgets everything after going berserk, you can use your power completely freely. Beating you now, it’s harder than catching the stars in the sky. Thanks, Cyan Vert! For showing my level…”
He sincerely expressed his gratitude, extending his thumb.
“But don’t think it’s over! You should look forward to the day we et again! I’ll be several tis, no, tens of tis stronger than I am now!”
“You still haven’t given up?”
“Of course not! What’s a rival for, if not to surpass? I’ll keep getting stronger and stronger to surpass you! Be ready, Cyan!”
I couldn’t help but let out a hollow laugh.
Yeah.
This simple yet upright guy won’t give up so easily.
“It’s good to beco stronger, but take care of your health first.”
“What?”
“If you catch a cold and die, it would be unfair, wouldn’t it?”
“Ha! A cold on my body, stronger than a rock! I’m not weak enough to get sick with such a trivial illness!”
Well, you never know.
Tragedy can strike at any ti, to anyone.
While watching him loosen up again, seeming like he wouldn’t return anyti soon, I left him alone and headed back to the academy.
* * *
A lonely night breeze blew from ahead, stirring up my stifling chest.
Why?
I don’t know why, but one side of my chest feels sore and suffocated.
Why do people feel sorry or regretful about soone leaving just because they don’t want to be around anymore?
I couldn’t understand it at all.
Especially Princess Arin’s expression…
If anyone saw it, they’d think the world was ending.
Her constantly vacant expression was irritating beyond asure.
[Are you expecting food or money with that blank face? Wrinkles are forming on your face.]
Kaeram, who appeared out of nowhere, pointed out my pathetic appearance.
For so reason, I felt like even if I got scolded by this perverted sword today, I had nothing to say.
[Isn’t it amazing? The little things you thought weren’t a big deal are making you think a lot. Even though they don’t know your true face…]
“What are you trying to say?”
[Didn’t I know you? You want to deny it. It’s just that those who don’t know your true face are showing you similar interest.]
Of course, right?
If the seemingly ordinary academy student suddenly knew that I was a ruthless assassin who had shed thousands or even tens of thousands of lives, their eyes would change in an instant.
Knowing that, even though I planned to leave without any regrets, my chest feels uncomfortable and stifled.
“I’m pathetic…”
It was a remark directed at no one but myself.
– Shwiik
A swift motion in the direction of one o’clock from the front.
I imdiately turned my head at the familiar sensation.
No need to confirm, I recognized them as mbers of the Mist.
“The leader has instructed you to co to the Astral Plane urgently.”
Why was it so urgent that they ca imdiately to convey the purpose?
“What’s the reason?”
“It seems they’ve found the target.”
As soon as I heard the word “target,” my body reacted sharply, like a prey found by a hunting predator.
It wasn’t about a new purification target that hadn’t been there before.
It ant that they had found soone they had missed before, soone who must be eliminated.
The sense of murderous rage that had montarily dulled began to rise again within .
“They found Boris?”
————
Reviews
All reviews (0)