’A mirror is cruel in its fairness. It shows you the person you’ve beco, not the one you rember being, and never the one you keep promising to turn into’
The very concept of mirrors was foreign to until recently.
Perhaps my past self knew of them.
But to , they were nothing more than curious trinkets.
Yet the mont I saw one for myself..., I hated it.
There wasn’t any grand reason behind it.
It was simply that whenever I looked into a mirror,I couldn’t see myself.
The one reflected back wasn’t truly .
It was a fragnt, a part of , but not the whole ,
Not as I truly was.
It reminded that while I had attained a human body, the human mind had beco my prison.
A human mind cannot comprehend eternity.
A human is full of contradictions,
yet refuses to admit them outright.
Contradiction is one trait that all humans share. Despite their best intentions, none of them can escape conflict in thier feelings, beliefs, and desires.
And even when you show them their own contradictions,
they do not accept them.They rationalize.They justify.And, in the end, they deny them outright
Only a rare few are capable of acknowledging their own contradictions
And what does that say about ?
, who has beco human.
, who is more ancient than eternity itself
, who is an amalgamation of all that has been consud by ,all that fell into , and all that beca part of .
Man and woman,Beast and object, Child and elder, New, Ancient, All of it are And I am all of it
But my mind can no longer comprehend it.
The mories conflict with one another,
Feelings clash,Beliefs fracture, twist and cumble
It is fine, though. I have learned to suppress it within myself. I have adapted over ti
But sotis,in the middle of the night or day the madness seeps through.
Sotis, all it takes is a half-awakened mind and a mirror
Sotis I wake and catch my reflection,
and everything returns at once
They overwhelm , and I almost lose myself.
It is painful
It hurts
I hope that one day I can look at myself without hating the mirror
To my past self:
if you had known this, would you still have chosen to be here?
To be human?
As for ...
I-
***
I woke up to find myself in the sa elevator.
Sunlight touched my face, I was lying on the floor
’Sunlight? But I was in an elevator—underground. How—?’
I lifted my head and looked at the glass wall.
The view outside was srising; one could see the sunrise on the distant horizon.
Beautiful was the word I could wholeheartedly agree on.
My gaze remained fixed on the view until the sun’s rays bounced off the glass wall in such a way that I could see my reflection
"Reflection?... My reflection?"
’Is this how I look? No... that’s not right
That’s not ...’
Rowayne’s eyes unfocused as he stared at his reflection. Now, he couldn’t make out his features
’What is ? What am i?
I ju- just ca- can’t seem to rember’
"Rember what? What was there to rember? Isn’t it already perfect the way it is?",He said in an unnervingly calm tone, with absolute certainty and a smile that fully stretched his mouth
"No... Rember what you are", He said as his eyes montarily regained focus
"Rember yourself and
Rember... us"
And he banged his head against the floor
"Rember"
Bang!
"Rember"
Bang!
Again and Again and Again...
For an unknown amount of ti
***
Pain
Ah, my head hurts
Rowayne woke up with an abnormal headache, as if soone had put a screwdriver inside his brain and twisted it
"Whe- wha- wh?", His incoherent thoughts were reflected on his speech
Drip-
The pain lessened a bit; he could think a little more clearly, His eyes fluttered open.
He heard a dripping noise, as if soone had left a tap open just enough for residual water to accumulate and fall irregularly
But before he could think further,
he noticed his hands
There was blood in them
Drip-
Another drop of blood fell on his hands
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"
Rowayne scread and tried to move away, but his body refused to obey him
He could only move his head, he frantically looked around.
All he saw were unfamiliar surroundings
An unfamiliar roof, unfamiliar walls, and an unfamiliar view
Where was he? What was he doing? Why was he here?, Countless questions flooded his thoughts.
But he found no answers. Everything was just... blank.
Which only made him more confused
Drip
Blood continued dripping from his head at irregular intervals
He then looked back at the floor and he found that he was lying in a pool of blood.
At the corner of his vision, he caught sight of a trail of blood that led to a notebook.
It was a small diary...
Sothing about it felt strangely familiar.
So Rowayne, mustering his strength, slowly crawled toward the notebook
The front cover of the notebook was bloodied.
He opened the diary.
The first thing he noticed was the bloodied fingerprints.
It looked as if the book had been opened before, under similar circumstances.
The different shades of red told him it wasn’t a one-ti occurrence either.
Then his eyes fell on the text.
It read:
Can’t rember?
Let help you, troubleso .
Rember how.
Retrace it. Recount it.
And you will know when.
And when you know when,
I hope you can find why
So Rowayne closed his eyes and focused on: ’how did he get here’
He repeated it in his mind like mantra
At first there was pain
And then.... Darkness...
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