I almost let out a hesitant “Uh…” but quickly shut my mouth.
Even if my carefully constructed persona was crumbling and my true self was being laid bare, there were still so things I needed to protect. Even after losing my ability, I had been making an effort to maintain at least a minimal level of my established character.
One day, the entirety of my real self might be exposed. But I didn’t want that to happen all at once, in a single mont.
And starting a sentence with “Uh…” while addressing soone? That didn’t fit my character at all. Up until now, I had always spoken only after thinking things through.
“…May I ask how much you rember about ?”
I asked, holding onto a sliver of hope.
“…”
At my question, Mia’s gaze flickered toward the empty space in front of her. She seed to be searching through her mories, silently sifting through them one by one.
Then, after a brief pause, she spoke—her voice slightly uncertain.
“At the very least, I think I rember almost everything I saw of you…”
She sounded unsure, leaving room for doubt.
But I knew the truth.
Mia had an excellent mory—good enough to recite complex magic incantations from mory. Her academic performance was always among the top. While I had to spend significantly more ti studying just to maintain my grades, and Alice pushed herself through sheer effort, Mia was simply intelligent enough to keep up without struggling.
That wasn’t to say she didn’t put in any effort. But her approach to studying was fundantally different from ours.
Alice studied because, as a princess, she had to set an example—even if it ant forcing herself to do things she didn’t enjoy. Mia, on the other hand, studied simply because she found it fun. She had even told before that she was genuinely interested in magic.
And since she was both diligent and intelligent, of course her grades never dropped.
For the sa reason, if I had done anything particularly foolish in front of Mia, she would almost certainly rember it.
“…”
The real problem was that I didn’t rember all the foolish things I had done.
After all, human mory has its limits. I could praise Mia’s mory all I wanted, but that only applied to her—not to .
The reason I had done well in school, or why I could rember the ga’s chanics, story, and dungeon layouts, was because I had drilled them into my head through sheer repetition. More accurately, I had repeated them until they were burned into my mory.
But I wasn’t the kind of person who could effortlessly recall every tiny detail of my past.
So, from my perspective, Mia’s statent was deeply unsettling.
Not that I could ask her outright.
If I still had the ability to turn back ti, I would have asked, then imdiately collapsed in horror, clutched my head, and rolled on the floor screaming before rewinding everything.
But now that I thought about it, if I still had the power to rewind ti, this wouldn’t even be a problem in the first place—because no one would rember anything I had undone.
“…I see.”
In the end, after much agonizing, that was all I could say.
*
The ordeal wasn’t ending.
Usually, overcoming a trial cos with so kind of reward. But the trial in front of had no such thing.
Thinking about it, this was all just karma for my past actions.
In a way, I had postponed my trials and taken the rewards in advance.
No—if I had known things would co back to haunt like this, I wouldn’t have used my ability so carelessly. I would have maintained my silent and composed persona, only rewinding ti when I made a critical mistake.
"Your Highness."
The voice that cautiously addressed belonged to Lena.
There weren’t many people around who “admired” . Most saw as an equal friend, and I had no complaints about that. In fact, I preferred it that way.
But there were still a few people, those who weren’t as close to , who looked at with admiration. They were the ones who had never directly witnessed my mistakes. And even if they had, they wouldn’t have realized that those mistakes were the result of rewinding ti. They would have simply assud they had misrembered sothing.
After stopping the Emperor from setting the world ablaze and returning on a griffon, I had beco a difficult person to approach within the academy—aside from my close friends.
Among those people, there was one who openly admired .
Lena yer.
She had likely been sent to the academy to observe , to report my actions to those above her. But from the very beginning, Lena had watched nearly everything I did with bright, eager eyes.
When I first t Lena, I had been concerned that our characters would overlap. No, actually, if we were talking about the “cool beauty” archetype, Lena had the upper hand. While my deanor was sothing I had carefully crafted, Lena was the real deal. She wasn’t just soone who appeared calm and composed—she truly was. Even the contrast between her cold exterior and her love for cute things was entirely natural, not sothing she forced or perford.
I had tried to surpass Lena by deliberately showcasing my persona in front of her. As a result, Lena genuinely began to admire .
To the point where, if there was an empty seat beside , she would naturally sit there. If anyone spoke ill of or expressed suspicion, she would step in to defend . Even her combat style had been influenced—she had taken inspiration from my so-called "tactical" actions, which I had mimicked from movies, and incorporated them into her own approach.
But now, even Lena had regained her mories.
Many people lose admiration when they see their idol falter. And it doesn’t have to be anything severe—just knowing that soone they admired was only human could be enough.
And my breakdown… Well, wasn’t it far worse than just “human”?
“May I speak with you for a mont?”
The day after my conversation with Mia.
As I was leaving the classroom after finishing my usual lessons, Lena approached and said those words.
I glanced at Alice. She rely shrugged her shoulders once before giving a silent nod.
Uh… no, actually, I would have preferred if she helped set up a more comfortable conversation environnt.
…Well, sooner or later, I would have had to face this mont anyway. It might be better to get it over with now.
“Yes, that’s fine.”
In the end, I nodded and replied.
*
“……”
“……”
Thinking about it now, I had never had a truly deep conversation with Lena.
It wasn’t as if we had never talked.
But Lena wasn’t one of the "characters" I had thoroughly analyzed, so I had never fully grasped her personality. Between how she viewed and how I felt about that gaze, a mix of different reasons had prevented us from ever having a serious conversation.
So it wasn’t entirely my fault that I couldn’t think of what to say first.
“I rember the war.”
Apparently, Lena felt the sa way. She had spoken to casually before, but now that she had regained her mories, she might not have been able to see as the sa person anymore.
Speaking to soone when you don’t know what they’re thinking is one thing. Speaking to them when you do is another—because, at least in your own mind, they’ve already beco a different person.
“I see.”
“I rember the Empire attacking the Rikrant Autonomous Region… in other words, my holand.”
“…Did you participate in the war?”
At my question, Lena shook her head.
In that illusory world, there had been no direct intersection between and Lena. Unlike in the real world, she had never set foot on the battlefield.
“My father sent and my mother to the rear lines before we lost contact with him. The last news we heard was that the border region had been reduced to ashes by bombardnt. Later, I heard that so military factions opposed to the governnt had even joined forces.”
“…”
Lena’s expression remained calm as she spoke.
“I wanted to join the war, but… my mother stopped . In the end, I could only stay by her side.”
If she was the only family her mother had left, then sending her to war wouldn’t have been an option.
Co to think of it, I knew next to nothing about Lena’s family. All I knew was that her father had been an important figure in the Autonomous Region.
“So when I found out that all of those mories weren’t real, I was greatly relieved.”
“I see.”
I repeated the sa response.
“…That’s why I have a question. May I ask?”
“Yes, go ahead.”
“There are tis when the actions Your Highness took feel different from the ones I clearly rember.”
“…”
I resisted the urge to take a deep breath.
Reviews
All reviews (0)