My eyes moved to where the pitcher was kept filled with water along with glass. I stood up and walked there to put myself in a glass of water and gulped it down.
It eased the dried throat.
I humd as I placed it down. "Do you know what it ans?" I wondered out loud for Tristan to hear my thoughts. "It ans that she never sacrificed himself for . It changes my Outlook and everything."
"Gen—"
"No no," I shook my head, "Let speak." I turned around and walked to stand in front of him. "She would have never put herself forward if she knew that she would die. I do not know why but it hurts Tristan. Even though I understand that no one wants to die, it hurts inside," I pointed to my chest where my heart was, "it hurts here."
His Stern and firm expressions softened as he looked to where I was ponting. "I understand—"
"No you don’t," I cut him off again, I wiped the stray tear as I continued, "you don’t understand how this feels Tristan. I feel betrayed and even though I understand why she did this I still feel betrayed. I mourned for her like a dead friend like I did for my mother and she stands there Alive, breathing and fine!"
I shook my head. "This is not done." I stepped back and shook my head repeatedly, "if she did not want to do this, it was fine. There was no need to hide everything from . I understand you, you were no one to ," his expression turned sour at what I said but I did not care, "she on the other hand was the closest person I could ever have." I whispered to myself but then sighed and straightened my back. "Excuse ," I said politely before walking to the door.
"Wait," he held my elbow and turned around, "what just happened?"
I looked at him and gave him a look. What was he talking about?
He seems to struggle to find the correct words. "You were crying just now. You told how betrayed you felt and you were letting your emotions out but then all of a sudden you excuse yourself to go out. Why?"
I shrugged. "I only have so many. I let them all out and now nothing remains." I said in a soft voice, the one of a princess, "Now, kindly excuse ."
I sidestepped him and walked out of the door. The four people, two of them were my ladies in waiting and two were the soldiers assigned by Tristan to waited outside. As I started walking, they walked behind .
Laila and Dorothy entered after and I sat down on the bed before throwing myself down and lying in it. My feet were still touching the ground.
I felt hands on my feet as they massage my legs. I knew what was coming next.
"We heard you saying Marylin’s na nurous tis. What has she done, your grace?" Laila asked softly.
Dorothy followed, "Has she offended you? Are we not to engage with her?"
I sighed, "having a conversation with her or not is entirely your decision. Rember to not let her get to ."
" Bu—"
"That’s it." I ended it sharply. "I do not wish to hear anything else."
They fell quiet and I fell into thinking.
I understood that she did not want to die. No one wanted to die and I would never want Marilyn to die for willingly or not. But it hurt to know that she was not sacrificing herself for rather for an ulterior motive.
It hurt that I had grieved and mourned for her, that I had wailed while sitting in an alley. I rember how I felt when I saw her hanging from a pole dead to the entire world and how the woman was accused of being a witch. I was ready to defend her and if I never knew that she was alive I would have taken to Queen Anastasia myself but there she stood, in front of , sleeping and giggling with Allen.
I scoffed. What reality was this?
The man I loved had turned into a creature of the darkness. A creature that was despised by the followers of God. The woman that I called my friend my entire life and was my biggest supporter turned to the sa darkness and I was left alone. How was it that I was alone while being on the good side?
It was rather comical to how I stood in the light but I could not see anything around . For the first ti the light felt familiar to the dark.
******
"Would you go for dinner?" Laila asked to comb my hair.
"No," I answered softly as my mind was sowhere else. I was thinking about another life for . Sothing that I now realise I should have accepted before.
"What are you thinking about?" She asked and she gently massaged my scalp.
I sighed softly, "find out how many prisoners are currently in the dungeons."
The combing stopped. "What?"
My eyes t hers through the mirror. "I said, find out how many prisoners are in the dungeons."
"B-but how?" She sputtered. "How do I do that?"
Now I truly wished that Marilyn was with instead of this dumbhead.
"I don’t know," I seethed out the words, "were you not aware of how things work to be done when you applied for this position Laila?"
"I . . " She licked her lips, "your highness, It was usually Marilyn who did this. She was better at it."
"And you will do it, if you have not noticed it already Marilyn is not here anymore." I snapped, "if you want you can leave as well."
I did not give her a chance to speak and stood up to walk to the bedroom.
I had to know how many people were in the dungeons.
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