It’s astonishing how much can happen in such a short ti. I’ve been consistent in a few areas, and it’s remarkable how much change has occurred as a result.
I’m now confident that if soone asks how my day went, I can provide a detailed account instead of my usual vague response of ’Good’ or ’I don’t know’.
I still don’t like cooking, though.
It’s worth noting that negativity is a powerful and insidious force. It’s astonishing how a small amount of negative emotion can undermine all your hard work and progress. I once read that negativity is the rawest form of emotion, but initially, I didn’t grasp what that ant. I couldn’t logically argue against it, and my attempts to debate it would end in weak statents like: Negativity only appears as the raw or true form because positivity is underrated.
While there may be so truth to that statent, recent events have led to question its validity. I’ve co to realize that negative emotions are the ones people can convey most convincingly.
Previously, I had experienced how negativity could sabotage my mood and productivity, particularly when I started focusing on self-care and hygiene. Unfortunately, I recently encountered it again after my last interaction with my best friend, Sophie. However, after our last encounter, I’m starting to think that the title ’best friend’ no longer suits her.
When I returned ho after that event, I was unable to muster the energy to do anything productive. In fact, I was so emotionally drained that I cried myself to sleep. I might look like I don’t cry easily, but boy oh boy.
The next morning, I woke up with the event still weighing heavily on my mind. I realized later that I dwelled on it excessively, allowing it to consu my thoughts. Just the way you eat stuff you are allergic to and your body reacts to it, was what the negativity I consud did to . I fed my body with sothing that wasn’t good and as a result, I felt foggy and struggled to make sense of anything. And Procrastination sets in, from trying to.
I made a note to abstain from anything that could lead to dwelling on negatively for long. Just the way one would abstain from foods or scents, they were allergic to.
Interestingly, whilst I’ve been working on apologizing less, I had unknowingly started tackling another item on my list - option No. 6, ’Rarely saying no’. It seems that my efforts to reduce excessive apologizing have naturally led to explore and improve my boundary-setting skills, including learning to say no more mindfully.
I recalled how I had declined Sophie’s invitation to join her team for the basketball ga. Later she sent photos from the event and asked to edit them. Initially, I was unsure how to respond.
Upon reflection, I realized my indecision stemd from not listening to my body’s cues to head ho when I needed to. If I had left when I felt the urge, I wouldn’t necessarily be dealing with the aftermath, including her request to edit the photos. Even if she had still asked, I could have easily co up with an excuse to decline.
As I deliberated on what to do, I felt guilty for even considering it. I knew I should trust my discernnt and listen to my inner voice. If I had, I wouldn’t be stressing about how to handle the situation. One thing was certain, though - I wasn’t willing to compromise my own needs to please her.
So, I told her I couldn’t do it, explaining that I had urgent matters that required my attention. To avoid any further persuasion, I also included a photographer’s Instagram handle in my ssage, suggesting she reach out to them instead. Although it wasn’t necessary, I hoped it would help set boundaries and prevent any additional pressure from her end.
Apart from that, she requested my assistance with several other tasks, which I would have normally tackled without hesitation. However, this ti, I calmly declined. Sophie was swift to notice the shift in my deanor, as she was accustod to readily agreeing to her requests. My occasional declines caught her off guard, and she seed unprepared for the change. One day, she asked point-blank, "Chels, are we good?"
That caught off guard - Sophie showing concern about my actions? It was as if we had swapped roles, and she was now playing the part I used to play. I was always the one to notice and point out even the slightest change in her behavior. I never thought I would see the day when she would do the sa.
"Yes of course, why do you ask?" I replied.
"You’ve been incredibly busy with your work lately, and we both know I have the most tedious job. Despite that, I always make ti for you. You don’t even respond on ti anymore. I wanted to share so exciting news with you in person about the video we made. It went viral, reaching 12 million views in just a week. However, it seems like you’ve been ignoring . Maybe that’s not the case, but you’ve honestly been acting a bit off lately." Sophie texted back.
Sophie and I both knew that wasn’t true. Unless, of course, she considered content creation the "Most tedious Job." Or perhaps It was the fact that, despite my packed schedule, I always made sure she fits in perfectly. Maybe that was what led to that assumption.
Maybe. But I didn’t see the value in debating on the matter. If I debated on it, we would just bicker and eventually we’d start comparing our jobs… and that would be a waste of ti. So I kept my response brief and simply congratulated her on the video’s success.
"Yeah, I saw. Congratulations." I texted back.
Sophie didn’t respond imdiately, even though she had seen the ssage right away. I was also on TikTok, and we were friends on the app, but after her content started gaining traction, I noticed her videos no longer appeared on my For You page. I hadn’t thought much of it initially, since I was always involved in her content creation and knew about every video she posted - I was the one editing them, after all! But now that I think about it, it seems likely that she had blocked on her end, which explains why I hadn’t seen any of her recent videos.
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