"Look in the eyes, Ryan. Tell if I could ever hurt you," Selena demanded, gripping my collar tightly.
We were alone in a private training room, having just left the cafeteria.
I couldn't forget the way Lucas had glared at as I turned to leave. His expression was enough to make reconsider my strategy against him. No doubt he had drawn his own conclusions after witnessing Shelly stand up for . Of course, he couldn't hear what she and Selena had been saying—Selena had made sure of that with the barrier she cast. But even without sound, our gestures and expressions likely gave him plenty to fuel his imagination.
And now… here I was, facing the mont I had dreaded for so long.
I knew what I had to do, no matter how much I didn't want to do it. But it had to happen. No matter how much I wanted to avoid it, I couldn't. I needed to trust Nelia's advice, not my emotions—those had only led astray in my first life.
I had to break things off with Selena.
"…You wouldn't," I finally replied after a mont of hesitation, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Then WHY?! Why are you doing this?!" Selena's voice cracked as she shouted, her trembling hands still clutching my shirt. "Or… or do you really feel nothing for ?" Her tears spilled freely now, streaking down her cheeks.
The sight of her crying shattered sothing inside . It hurt. It hurt in ways I couldn't explain.
"Selena… calm down," I said softly, reaching out to wipe her tears, but she flinched away from my touch.
"No, Ryan! Tell the truth. Is it because I hid my identity from you? Are you scared of ? Or is it… is it because you don't love ?" Her voice broke with fury, desperation, and …. vulnerability.
…Damn it all.
"…It's everything, Selena," I finally admitted, my voice low but firm.
Her hands froze on my collar. Her lips parted slightly, confusion flashing across her face. "What…?"
"It's because I trust you," I began, my tone firm. "I trust you so much it terrifies . These feelings I have for you… they feel natural, but at the sa ti, they don't. It's like they've been planted there, like they're not even mine. And I don't want to be manipulated anymore, Selena. I'm done being soone's pawn in the na of 'love.' I'm sick of it."
Selena flinched as if I'd struck her. "You're not a pawn to ," she said quietly, her voice trembling.
"Says who? You?" I snapped, the anger bubbling to the surface. "You couldn't even trust with sothing as basic as your identity as a princess. What else are you hiding? what can you trust with? Would you ever reveal what these feelings I have for you actually an? Would you tell why you love so much? Who you really are? Who we were to each other in the past?" My voice rose as my emotions boiled over. "Would you?!"
Selena wasn't just a character from the novel. She was sothing more, sothing tied to in ways I couldn't fathom. And the more my blessing took hold of , the more this connection I felt with her grew. But she refused to let in.
There was sothing she knew—sothing she was keeping from .
"…It's not what you think," she muttered, her teeth clenched as if forcing the words out.
"Then tell what it is, Selena," I said.
But she didn't respond. The silence that followed felt heavier than any words she could have said. It was an answer in itself.
And I hated it.
I hated the lies. I hated the secrets. I hated the way she made feel like a fool.
More than anything, I hated how much it hurt to push her away.
"Tell , Selena," my voice cracked, raw with frustration. "Do you expect to keep playing this ga where I'm always left in the dark? How do I know you're not just toying with ? How do I know you're not using for so selfish motive? How?!"
Her lips trembled, but no words ca. She looked away.
She really doesn't want to say it.
But why?
Why does she insist on hiding the truth from ? If she truly feels the way she claims, if she's not just stringing along, then why can't she let in? Why must I always feel like I'm grasping at shadows?
"…It's all for your own good," she finally whispered, her voice breaking, her eyes reddened with unshed tears.
I stared at her, "Or is it for yours?"
Her grip on my collar slackened, and she took a shaky step back.
"Tell , Selena… What really is my blessing? Why do I feel so connected to you?" I asked, desperation slipping into my tone.
But she didn't answer. She just stared into my eyes, her lips trembling like she was choking on the truth.
"Just… tell . I'd believe you. Maybe we could figure this out sohow. I just… I just want to trust you. I just want the truth. Please."
I hated how my voice broke, how vulnerable I sounded. Frustration burned in my chest, mixed with an exhaustion that threatened to drown .
I needed answers.
I needed to understand.
Why was I dragged into this world?
Why do I have this blessing?
Why do I feel this way about her?
"... I won't hurt you, Ryan. You just have to believe that," she said, reaching for .
But I pushed her hand away.
And then, it surged—anger.
The blessing inside stirred, feeding on my emotions, amplifying them until they threatened to consu .
"Just stay away from ," I muttered, turning to leave.
"Wait… please!"
Her hand caught my wrist, and before I could react, she pushed back against the wall.
"Let go, Selena," I said, my voice cold, tired.
"Listen to ! Please," she pleaded, her eyes wide with desperation. "I can't tell you. Not now. If I do… everything I've worked for—everything—will fall apart."
"So that's it, huh? It's all about you." My voice hardened. "You'd rather keep your secrets, keep in the dark, than give the answers I deserve?"
I grabbed her wrists, to push her away. "You've known all along, haven't you? What this blessing is, why I feel this way. And you've just been keeping it to yourself, playing your little ga!"
"... Please…" Her voice was barely a whisper now, trembling with emotion. "I'll do anything. Just listen to this once. I'm begging you."
She pressed her face against my chest, her tears soaking through my shirt.
"Selena… I hate you," I said.
Her body stiffened, but she didn't pull away. Instead, she whispered, "No, you don't… You know deep down you can't."
She was right. And that's what made this unbearable.
"What do you want from ?" I croaked, my voice breaking as the weight of it all threatened to crush .
The emotions tearing through were unbearable—an endless storm of anger, confusion, longing, and despair.
I hated her.
I loved her.
I hated her.
I still loved her.
My mind was in chaos, and sothing was trying to claw its way to the surface.
I clenched my fists, trying to hold it back, trying to keep control.
I knew if I lost control, I would hurt her.
But I didn't want to hurt her.
But still…
I wanted to run.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to kill her.
"Aghhh!" I held my head and scread, a scream filled with all the pain I couldn't put into words.
And still, she clung to .
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