I understood Renn's worries. Particularly so… but it was interesting that she had seed more perturbed by the news of them acting on Nory's supposed birth than she was by Renka showing up and all the other chaos.
It made sense though. Renn and I hadn't talked of it much, but I knew her better than she likely knew herself.
When it ca to family, the re idea of it even, Renn was… hyper-focused and centered a lot of her own desires and expectations around it. It ant everything to her. It was why she so desperately loved the Society, its mbers, and even the ones who are more trouble than they are worth. It was also why she so cared for the humans we encountered occasionally, and why she went out of her way to enjoy her ti with them as much as she could. To her there was little, if not nothing, more important to her than her ti being spent on those she loved.
So would likely fault her perfect mory. She rembered things so well, in such vivid detail, that she was capable of fully comprehending the pain and concept of loss even long before it happened. Unlike most who, over ti, had their pain and sorrows dull… Renn's was constantly fresh. She could close her eyes and distinctively rember the very monts of loss and pain so vividly that it was almost a terrifying concept. Everyone rembers the monts their hearts break… but so very few can re-live those monts throughout their whole lives with perfect accuracy as Renn did.
That ability to fully rember and feel such sorrow and pain, and the loneliness she had throughout it, was why she clung so desperately to the connections she made here and now. No matter how big or small. Her love for friendship and companionship wasn't just a way to balm her tired and bruised soul; it was a thod of survival. Her mind was like a thick book of mories. With countless pages that she could at any mont turn to and read, and re-live. So, as to dull the pain of loss and loneliness, she was trying to add as many happy pages as she could. She couldn't rip the sad pages out, thanks to how her mind worked, but she could drown them in a sea of happy ones.
Her fixation on our future children was undoubtedly sothing very important to her. It would be important to anyone, granted… even myself, but for Renn they were likely the accumulation of all she wished for. Children would be endless pages of happiness for her book of mories… and even if a few sad pages appeared here and there amongst them, they'd be the perfect ratio of happy to sad to not just make them a fraction of the whole but do so to all the other sad mories as they did.
Those future hopes were as important, if not more-so, than the joys and connections she had even now. Which was saying sothing, since she so dearly cherished her friendships and companionships.
There were likely many reasons for it. Her family, her real original one, had been a troubled one. The kind that unsurprisingly left Renn with… a hole in her heart, as my father would call it. A hole she desperately wanted to fill, and honestly I wasn't sure if she even truly realized that said hole still existed and was a lot bigger and deeper than not. I blad that on her life before joining the Society. She had spent, believably, hundreds of years alone. Essentially alone. Yes she had a few connections back then, but they had all been human. Short lived, and pretty much all of them had ended in heartbreak for her. She had connected with that saint, Witch, but in my personal opinion… even though Renn hasn't ever outright admitted it, I think their relationship had not been as positive as she believed it to be. Especially now with us learning more and more about Renn's supposed past that was, per prophecies, wrong.
A saint, particularly a strong one, should have known of such a future. Especially when concerning soone so unique, soone who had lived right next to her for decades as they presumably had.
Witch should have fully known Renn's future. Maybe not entirely, but she should have foresaw enough important details that… made things questionable.
I personally didn't want to confirm it, because I knew better. So things were best left… in the past. Not outright forgotten, but not lingered on. But… I knew if I looked into it, properly looked into it, I'd likely find proof that not long after Renn encountered Witch she was supposed to have then encountered us. Or at least, the Society. And the fact she hadn't didn't just put a lot of road bumps into the plans made by Celine and the rest… it also brought Renn a ton of misfortune.
And that misfortune was what truly made Renn's connections so important.
She highly valued her friends. She fell in love with people easily; to the point it was almost comical. And once her heart started to swell concerning an individual, or an idea, she beca very… stalwart. At least when it ca to the idea of the relationship she had with them.
Once she connected to soone, or sothing, she essentially saw that individual as a part of her family. Her pack, as many in the Society would call it. And the mont that happened… well…
"It's not just over-protectiveness…" I whispered softly to myself.
So her freaking out over the world being… acutely aware over our, supposed, daughter's birth made sense. A lot of it. But just now, in that broom closet, I had almost just watched my wife's heart break… if not even have a full-blown panic attack instead. Over sothing that I'd usually not even spare a thought to. Because of how I kept myself in check, and also how little value I placed in the future and all the prophecies connected to it.
The future would co. I was more concerned with the here and now… my lovely wife on the other hand…
"She had teetered on the edge," I whispered as I rounded a corner.
Luckily I had remained calm myself, and I think by doing so I had kept her calm too, but… I'd not be surprised if soone soon ca running over to in a panic. As to let know that Renn had done, or was doing, sothing drastic and insane.
I would not be shocked at all if Renn broke even her own rules and moral codes for her daughter. Even one not born yet.
She was overprotective of children as it was… and those she deed important and family… so I could only imagine just how seriously she took the concept of her own children. I'd been, sowhat, avoiding the topics lately… since I'd decided to not have any children until I'd dealt with the gods, but…
Well…
Coughing as I reached up to scratch my chin, I wondered again if it was I who was making the mistake… after all, whether I wanted to admit it or not… it wasn't as if the gods were just simply going to disappear any ti soon.
Even if I killed Renka, and the others she was associated with, there was no guarantee that was the end of them. I'd always suspected a few still lived, but now…?
For all I knew there were several groups much alike Renka's out there. All just… hiding and waiting. Or at the very least just hiding.
If that was the case… did I really have a right to deny Renn her happiness? If the concept of gods always existing, whether I know them to or not, was to be considered… then I too had to consider it a simple fact of life. Not sothing that can be changed or altered, at least not without extre circumstances… which ant my denying Renn the joys of motherhood was… well…
"Cruel," I said simply as I rounded another corner and found the hallway I wanted.
I didn't want to be cruel. To anyone, or anything… other than the gods, of course. And especially so to soone so dear to . The thought that I was being cruel to soone who just wanted everyone around her to be as happy as possible was… rather unsettling. Of all people in the world, I'm being an to not just the one person I shouldn't be but also the person who least deserved it.
But what was I to do about her desires…? They were simple, but montous… I an… a child? Saint or no, a child was… sothing a lot bigger than it seed. Especially since it'll be mine. And hers.
The thought terrified , as it had all the other tis I'd allowed myself to dwell on it… so I forcefully pulled my mind away from it and focused on the task at hand.
Stepping up to the door with a small naplate upon it, I knocked on it.
For a few monts I heard the voices behind it, and then it opened and a happy but confused smile confronted . "Vim…? Hello, how are you?" Harly stepped back as she welcod , but didn't do so to the point that I could walk into the room.
"Hey Harly… do you have a mont?" I asked calmly as I noted a presence in another room beyond her. I couldn't tell who it was, but I heard them ssing with sothing made of tal. Maybe a box or a pot? It almost sounded like they were wiping it down or sothing.
"Sure…? Is everything okay…? Where's your cat?" Harly cheered up a little as she stepped towards and I had to step back as to let her leave her ho. Or at least her temporary one. I'd heard that she would eventually be heading east, to Lun, with the rest of those like her.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
"Renn's off dealing with the Chronicler for . I've been told that I'll be picking up your aunt, or one of them at least, on my way to Lun… I've co to ask if you would like to deliver her a letter or anything before I set off," I said.
Harly gave an odd blink as she seed to relax a little. "Oh… is that it…? Here I was worried I was going to get an ass-chewing!"
"For what…?" I asked carefully. That tone she had just used was not one ant for joking around, she had been serious.
"If you don't know I'm not telling! And thank you, Vim, but no. Renn already offered, and I gave her my letter and so from everyone else already too. I appreciate you thinking about us though, I'm glad even if so much else has changed, you haven't," she said with a warm smile at .
Funny considering so many were saying the opposite lately. Even my own self. "I see… then I bothered you needlessly, I'm sorry," I said.
Harly waved my apology away. "It's okay! We were just cleaning so pots! If anything you giving a few minutes of a break is a good thing!"
I see, so I hadn't misheard. "Well…" I was about to make a small joke, and then say goodbye, but a nearby door opened. One that drew our attention because of who hurried out of it.
A man, in a hurry, rushed outward… carrying clothes and half naked, he had a look of utter shock and panic on his face as he nearly stumbled into the door that laid opposite of the one he had seemingly just been kicked out of.
"You better run!" a woman shouted, and although did so loudly and sounded angry… I knew better than to grow concerned or do anything as I watched the half-naked man hurry down the hallway. He was so flustered and in a panic it seed he didn't even notice or Harly, or the boot he had dropped when he ran into the wall and door in the process of being kicked out. He ran off with his, literal tail, between his legs while holding what little of his clothes he had been able to gather up before being kicked out.
I didn't know the man's na, or really recognize him, but I knew the woman who stepped out of from the door the man had just erged from. She too was half-naked, maybe even less dressed than the man had been, and huffed a heavy sigh as she glanced over at Harly and , the only ones who had happened to witness the scene.
"He gave up halfway through Harly, can you believe it!?" Yingsa shouted angrily.
I looked away from the upset woman, out of both courtesy and to keep my own self from sighing in annoyance, and looked back at Harly who had a wry smirk on her face.
So that was what she and whoever was in her ho had been gossiping about. Figures.
"That's the third one, Yingy, if you keep this up you're not going to be able to lure anyone else no matter how hard you try," Harly warned. As she did I heard a snicker co from beyond the shut door behind her. We now had eavesdroppers, and the one in Harly's ho was likely not alone. A quick glance up and down the hallway told there were likely several who were now either listening in, or about to open their doors as to include themselves in what would likely be good gossip later on over dinner.
"Vim…? Is that you?" Yingsa finally noticed , and I wanted to sigh as I nodded and watched her walk over. She didn't seem to care at all that she had just made a scene, or that she was basically naked.
"Yingsa. I'd ask how've you've been, but I now fear the answer," I said in greeting.
Harly snickered, as did a few others in the hallway as the great ape gave a look. "Rude, Vim… especially since I've heard all about your recent success! I used to not mind your little quips but I'll not be having them now, what with you having children soon yourself!" Yingsa didn't hesitate to cross her arms and scowl at .
I didn't flinch or feel any sha from her statent as I nodded. "I suppose you're right, my apologies," I said.
She wasn't wrong after all.
"Hm… that too is how you used to be. Not sure if I should be more offended over that instead," Yingsa wondered.
"I like that he's so down to earth. Could you imagine him being like how the angels supposedly were?" Harly asked.
Yingsa ignored her more devout sister and gestured at . "Is your wife here, Vim? Rennalee?"
I hesitated, but nodded anyway. "Yes…" Regretfully.
Yingsa happily bead a grin. "Great…! I'll go get dressed, you can take to her!" she said happily as she spun around and hurried back into her ho.
Without hiding a sigh I glanced at Harly. "Any other neighbors I should be wary of?" I asked.
"More than you know."
Great.
Though I suppose I shouldn't be too annoyed… Renn will likely find Yingsa very interesting. She was, in a certain perspective, like Kaley. Or Landi, in a way… but she did have so personality traits that I found to completely annul and void all of her good parts…
"Is the one I'm to et and take to Lun her mother…?" I asked Harly quietly.
"Yes… oh wait… I'm not supposed to tell you that stuff am I?" Harly flinched as she answered.
Taking a deep breath, I felt the eventual headache I would soon have once I had to deal with her and her ilk.
Or well… maybe it won't be that bad. Renn will be with , after all… I can use her as a buffer, as I do sotis…
"She's not that bad, Vim… be gentle with her, she had a terrible accident a few years ago," Harly then whispered as she got a little closer to do so.
Oh…? I nodded gently as Harly continued, even though I had not asked her to.
"She had a miscarriage. Almost killed her," she whispered so lowly even I barely understood her.
Hm…
I nodded as I tried to rember if Yingsa had been paired with anyone, or had children, before she and the rest had gone over to the other continent… I couldn't rember if she had been. Back then had been right after the wars, and as such I had been so utterly spread thin that it was a miracle I even rembered the woman at all.
"Not that I'm one to talk, I guess…" Harly then whispered to herself, sighing as she did.
Glancing at the woman, I wondered how to interpret that. Was she saying she herself was not gentle with Yingsa? That she too had suffered such problems, such as her old wounds that had caused mory problems? Or was she saying she was also going through the sa struggles, which I assud was trying to have children?
"Who was that by the way…? The one she just chased off?" I asked. I didn't really want to know, since it was obviously a more personal problem, but I figured I should ask in case here in the short future I was asked for my witness statent of the event. In case sothing did co of it that caused problems.
"Hm? Oh, uh…" Harly paused a mont, and I noticed the way her brow furrowed and realized I had just asked her sothing her ailed mind didn't know or rember. Though if it was because she couldn't rember the man's na or because she had already forgotten what had just happen was up to debate.
"It's…" I was about to say it was not that big a deal, but before I could Yingsa returned. Properly dressed this ti.
"That useless prick was Flourance, Vim. Do you rember old Towns? That was his son," she said as she tied up her hair after closing her door.
Towns…? That was a na I'd not heard of thought of in a long ti. "I'm not sure what to think about that, so I'm going to just change topics. How've you been Yingsa?" I asked.
She laughed at as Harly very loudly sighed at . "Not good, Vim! I'm running out of n, the ones here are all way too flimsy!"
Flimsy physically or emotionally, I wonder? "You say that as if you hadn't had access to them before coming back," I noted.
"Well… because I hadn't? I'd been living in an all female village back at ho… Or well, I guess that place isn't ho anymore is it?" Yingsa frowned as she spoke, in a way that made frown back at her.
"How'd you survive that?" I asked.
"By the skin of my teeth, obviously!" she said, and then laughed happily at .
I allowed her to enjoy herself for a mont and glanced at Harly. "I'll take the noisy one away then, you sure you don't need anything Harly?" I asked.
She smiled gently and shook her head. "I'm fine, Vim. Thank you again. Please remind Renn to co get my letters before she goes though."
Co get them…? Ah. She was misrembering. "I'll do so," I said with a nod. I wasn't sure which part her failing mory had mistaken, the fact she had already given the letters to Renn or hadn't done so yet, but I figured it'd be easiest to just confirm it with Renn before we left.
"Goodbye then… don't bother them too much, Yingsa. You know the rules," Harly then said as I turned away, as to lead Yingsa to the Chronicler's office where Renn was likely still located. This might be a good way to save Renn, or the Chronicler, depending on how their little eting was going.
"What…? I just want to et her! You got to already, so I can too!" Yingsa argued as stepped away, with a small smile on my face as I did.
As annoying as they were sotis, I was at least glad for it all the sa. Not just was I glad that the Society was noisy again… I was also glad that Renn would soon get to et soone new. Soone who might even end up being a friend.
She got along well with those like Yingsa. Those who lived on the rim, who typically didn't mingle too much with others. And…
"Is she cute, Vim?" Yingsa asked as Harly went back into her ho and we neared a corner.
"Renn? Yes, I think she's very cute."
"Hm… I'm looking forward to seeing what you think is cute. You once said I was ugly, you know?"
Huh…? "I had…?" I asked. "You sure…?" I rarely, if ever, said such things aloud. Especially not to the subject in question.
Yingsa giggled at . "No! You just kicked out of your bed! I'm glad you look so annoyed though, so I'm not ugly huh?"
Oh. Right. She had tried once before, hadn't she? I'll make sure to let Renn know that, she'll find that funny. "You're rather pretty, Yingsa, yes. Which is why I'm surprised to hear you're having difficulty… should I even ask as to why?"
"Honestly I don't know! I'm being very nice and even playing by the rules with everyone, yet most of them end up giving up before we even begin! You'd almost think I stunk or sothing, but I've been making sure I don't have any such problems!"
Stunk…? I highly doubted that could even be a reason even if she actually did. Many non-human n were… a bit less picky about things, thanks to their own natures. At least compared to their normal human counterparts. "Well whatever is wrong with you, don't spread it to my wife please," I said, teasing her a little.
Yingsa laughed at that. "I'll try my best!"
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