Holding the lantern up for Lilly as she moved the small box, I watched her open the one under it… and sigh upon not finding whatever she was looking for.
"Gods… I know in Lun he faced one and all, but it's… hard to wrap one's head around it, you know?" Lilly said as she put the lid back on the box and move to the next.
I nodded as I kept the lamp steady. We were underneath her ho, in the Owl's Nest, in what Lilly had called the shelter. It was an underground… well, nearly a whole house to be honest. It actually reminded a lot of the Keep's underground storerooms, more than anything else. We were at least three floors below the first floor of her ho, and we had walked down a few hallways to get to this room. One room of many… and each was full of supplies, such as shelves lined with boxes… like the ones she was going through now.
"You're telling …? I'll be completely honest, I've been trying not to think about it too deeply. I an… it's hard to comprehend. Gods? As in actual gods…?" I said, agreeing with her.
"And if you're not able to wrap your head around it, then none of us have a chance either," Lilly said with a sigh as she opened the next box.
This one looked to have… books? Yes. Those were books. Or at least, they looked like them… but the covers looked as if made of stone…
"Hardly, Lilly. I was actually hoping you'd be able to offer so insight, not to make feel even more lost," I said. I'd brought it up since we had a mont alone finally, and I was starting to regret it.
Lilly scoffed as she put the box of stone-books away and grabbed another. "All I know about gods Renn is what little Vim or Celine have whispered around without thinking. And I'd really not believe Celine's words, and Vim's although might be truthful… well…" she paused a mont, and not because the box she just opened was empty.
"Well… What are you implying?" I asked. It was obvious she was implying sothing, but I couldn't make sense of it.
Lilly glanced at , and in the lamplight her big eyes glimred at . "He doesn't think like we do, Renn. When we think god, or gods or a god, we think of our ancestors. Beings who created us, if not all life, right? We think of beings of power. Of authority and rule… yet when Vim thinks of gods? When he speaks of them…? He thinks of an enemy. One not just to destroy, but one he has and can destroy. Much alike the monarchs he hunts, or how I would cultist. So, it's not the sa, is it?" Lilly said calmly.
I humd at that as I slowly nodded… "Right… just like his parents," I said.
"Now it's your turn to explain your aning," she said.
"I firmly believe Vim's parents were gods. As in, the sa ones he speaks of himself. The ones he fights… not so much the ones in our scriptures or stories," I said.
Lilly didn't say anything… and remained quiet for a very long mont, so long that I actually leaned back a bit as to make sure all was well. My ears fluttered at her as she eventually closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "That would be the sa as claiming he too is a god, Renn…" she groaned.
"I know… such a contradiction, isn't it? I've no doubt Vim is very special, hard not to be when he's able to do the things he does… but I an… a god? I just can't imagine him as one, no matter how hard I try," I said, agreeing.
"Yet… it would give his words credit, wouldn't it? What if the gods he speaks of, the ones we worship and whatnot, are in fact them? The sa ones he fights? After all, even if not real gods they're still powerful, aren't they? I an… they make monarchs don't they? And we're supposedly descendants of them? Even Vim has said before that we all ca from monarchs. I've heard him say such a thing many tis, and not just lightly either," Lilly said.
I nodded heavily. "He's told that too, very seriously as well. So it's… odd, isn't it? If he's telling the truth, it's the sa as him saying the gods he speak of and even kills… are in fact our very gods. Yet, if they're our gods… how can he kill them?" I asked.
"By being one himself, duh?" Lilly said as she returned her focus to her boxes. She paused a mont upon looking at the one she'd just opened, the empty one, as if shocked to find it so. She then closed it back up and went to grab another off the shelf.
"But Vim is very honest about that stuff, Lilly… He's often said very plainly he himself is not a god. Yet at the sa ti, he's willing to call those people gods too. This Havoc, or Stance…" I said.
"Maybe he just calls them that because that's what we'd understand them as…? For instance the humans in general call us spirits or demons, not non-humans as we do," Lilly said.
"Still feels like I'm missing sothing… as if Vim's given the answer, if even indirectly without him realizing it… and I just can't put one and two together…" I said.
Lilly sighed at as she opened another box… and smiled at its contents. "Finally," she said as she found what she'd been looking for.
I stepped closer to her and the shelf and lowered the lamp ever so slightly as to get a better look at its contents. I found a box full of… "Toys?" I asked.
She happily nodded as she pulled out one of, what I could only assu were children toys. This one looked like a small horse, one that was made out of what I assud was wood… and it moved around and made noises as she shook it. "Stuff she can break and chew on," Lilly said.
Chew…? I reached out and picked up one of the toys from the box. It too was made of wood, but this one was a bit bigger than the horse and… as I shook it, it made a bunch of odd noises. It sounded almost as if… "Are there rocks inside it?" I asked. It was painted, but the colors looked dull… and not just because we were in a dark storeroom underground. It was old.
"Beads, yep," Lilly said.
"You're… going to let her chew and break wooden toys full of beads…" I said, unsure if she was joking or not. Even if you disregarded the smaller pieces, wouldn't her eating wood… especially old wood, still be an issue? Make her sick or sothing? Or hurt her?
Lilly chuckled at . "She'll be fine. Most of my kids did the sa."
I hope so… At least it seed not all of the toys were made of wood and stuff. So looked to be made of cloth, or just outright stuffed animals.
"Anyway, for all we know the reason Vim calls them gods is because that's just their titles or sothing. Like monarch… who ca up with that? It ans ruler, or king, but only a few of them had ever actually ruled over anyone or anything… and even then they hadn't done it well. Gods might just be a term used back in the day for people with weird powers and stuff, and over ti we just adopted it and used it for our deities," Lilly said as she turned to shake the horse toy at .
Frowning at that, I nodded. "That… makes sense," I said admittedly. She was right… Vim's even hinted that languages and stuff had been very different way back then, when gods had ruled and existed normally amongst everyone else. I an, just consider all the words he used that no else today knew…! It wasn't too much of a stretch to find Lilly's reasoning rather… well… reasonable.
"Though… that still doesn't explain the fact that even Vim says they made monarchs, and as such too made us. If that doesn't make them gods, Renn, I don't know what else could," Lilly then added.
The fact I couldn't argue with her only made it worse. She was perfectly right… no matter who or what these so-called gods were, if at the end of the day they indeed had made all of the monarchs that we supposedly had descended from… then…
Then they were our creators. Our gods. That was a fact…
Though, that didn't outright an… "Even if they are our gods… that doesn't an they're the things behind our faiths, though, does it?" I asked her.
Lilly didn't answer right away as I handed her back the toy. She put it back in the box and humd a little as she studied the other toys in it. "No… it doesn't. I an, I basically made my children right…? Just as my mother made , and so forth…? Yet they're not gods. So maybe the simple matter of creation doesn't make one a god at all," Lilly said.
"Maybe we should switch topics, before my head starts to hurt," I suggested.
Lilly scoffed, then chuckled for a mont as she nodded. "Yes. Please. How about my son, think he's good enough for Nebl to praise him?" Lilly asked.
"Branches…? Yes, of course. He's very gentlemanly, I in fact plan to tease Vim about how he could learn a thing or two from him in how to treat a lady," I said. Branches was very gentle with Lellip, to the point it was kind of annoying and I wasn't even the one he was fussing over. He was the type to not just pull back her chair for her to sit in, and then pull it out for her to get up… he also even tried to cut her food for her, such as at or bread. It was him just trying to be nice, but it was obvious he was taking it a tad too far… especially since Lellip was far from so weak and pitiful damsel unable to handle herself.
Stolen novel; please report.
Lilly though took my complint, even if in slight jest, with a full smile of pride as she nodded happily. "Right!? He reminds so much of Windle, before he got old and lazy!"
Oh…? So he was more like Windle than not, then. Sap and the rest hadn't fibbed…
"I'm not sure I like his beard though," I said. Unlike the rest of the owl n, he wasn't clean shaven. He had a nicely trimd beard, one that was obviously in fashion since I'd seen similar styles in SilverCreek and elsewhere… but sadly it didn't fit his face. It was too narrow, at least so I thought, for such a beard.
Lilly chuckled at . "Lellip's already ntioned she wants him to grow it out fuller, or to cut it off entirely. It won't last, he'll do whatever she wants him to."
Good… though to grow it out more…? That might actually work, surprisingly. It'd cover more of his lanky face and as such would likely make him appear better…
"Your other boys are nice. Though they're tall and… look young, so it's a tad odd. They all look just like Windle, which is why I find it odd I think. They look like brothers, not father and sons," I said.
"Right? At least my daughters are not so similar as to make feel like I'm looking in a mirror!" Lilly agreed.
I smirked and nodded. She was right, to a point. All but Sap and Root had wings, of course… but a few had different hair colors too, likely inherited from Windle and his side of the family. But Sap and Root…? They looked nearly just like Lilly did. In fact the only real differences between them were that Lilly's non-human traits were just a tad more prominent than theirs…
"And I'm not sure why, but Crown and Seed sll really good. They sll sweet to , while you and Sap sll like the trees. Which is funny, you'd think Sap would sll like sap, it's like you got their nas backwards," I said.
"They sll sweet…?" Lilly asked, finding that odd.
I nodded. "Like… hm… maybe a little like honey?" I said.
"Huh… and we, or I, sll like trees?"
"Like the ones here. Your ho, or that big tree. It's a good sll too, just not as sweet. I actually prefer your sll, and Sap's, since it doesn't make as hungry as Crown and Seed's does," I said.
Lilly laughed at that. "So they're prey to you!" she concluded.
Gosh…! "No…" I groaned, not willing to admit it. Was that what it was…? Probably…
She chuckled for a long mont… and then as her chuckling died, I noted the way her large eyes lost a tiny bit of their glistening. As if the lantern I held had suddenly snuffed out, sohow… yet it hadn't.
"And Crown…?" she then whispered softly.
Hm. The real reason we were down here, no doubt. I had expected this.
It was why I was here, after all. To help her concerning her wayward daughter… the one who was depressed.
"She's sad. But… to what level, I'm still not sure yet," I said softly.
"A level so deep it keeps her from eating anything. She ate more just now during lunch with you than she has all week, Renn," Lilly said stiffly.
Gosh, really…? She had barely eaten half her plate and her plate had been half the size of my first one! And I'd eaten three, and still wanted more to snack on!
"I just an… I've only spoken to her for a short ti, Lilly. I've only been her a single day so far. And… to be honest, I really don't know what I'm even looking for or anything," I said. I an, I wasn't stupid. I knew depression. Not only did I know it personally, I'd seen it often. Especially in humans… but… Did I know it well enough to understand it? To know what kind it was? Where it was from? How to get rid of it or cure it…? Not at all.
"Has she said anything at all to you yet…? About what happened?" Lilly asked softly.
I wanted to sigh, but didn't… since I knew this was serious. At least, for Lilly. For Lilly this was more dire than Vim and his war with his gods that wanted to kill us all or whatever…
Sap had explained it as we flew here, and landed occasionally on the way here to rest and such. She had said that Lilly was really hoping that at the very least I could figure out exactly why Crown was depressed. They all assud it was because of this man's death, the one she had fallen for… but…
"She hinted to earlier that sothing… else was the issue. She had comnted that she has wondered what her kids would be like… you know, human or less so? But when I asked if she had planned to have kids with this man she loved, she had frowned and answered a tad indifferently. As if she hadn't been thinking that at all," I said.
"So… her depression might not be because of his death…?" Lilly asked, rather seriously.
I nodded. "Maybe."
"If only…! Though then what could it be…? That's the only thing I can think of that could have bothered her…" Lilly said as she went into thought.
Shrugging softly, I adjusted the lantern a little as to look at the other shelves nearby. Was that one covered…? It looked like it had a big cloth draped over it, hiding it from sight, though why I couldn't tell…
Honestly these underground rooms and hallways felt a tad… cold. And really dark… almost as if the darkness that surrounded the Owl's Nest, the unnatural darkness, was seeping in here sohow. Maybe it was…
"To be honest Lilly… I've been depressed before, but I don't think I've ever been as bad as Crown is right now. So it's… a tad odd to ," I admitted as I studied the darkness around .
"I've seen it before Renn… especially amongst our kind. Such depression kills. Slowly. Very slowly… until it happens overnight," Lilly said softly.
"What can we do…? What can I do?" I asked.
"Well… to a degree, I think you're already doing it," Lilly said as she put the lid back on the box of toys.
"Hm?"
"You've gotten her to talk more. She even left her room on her own today… that's progress, in my opinion," Lilly said.
I gave a thin smile to her over that comnt. "A few minutes of talking isn't much, Lilly," I said.
"That's more than I've gotten, or Windle or any of the rest of us," Lilly said.
Great… "Well… I'll keep spending ti with her, of course… I'd do that anyway. With any of your children. Speaking of them, the other ones aren't really engaging with much…" I said a bit reluctantly.
The sons, even Branches, hadn't really spent much ti with outside of our first eting. Though Branches could at least be excused, since he was spending all his ti with Lellip. But it wasn't just the boys who were keeping a bit of a distance, Seed and I had only said a few words between us… and they had been kind of short and awkward. I wasn't sure yet, but I almost felt as if she was avoiding … though I wasn't sure as to why yet. Especially since she was like Crown, more human than not… yet Crown hadn't and wasn't avoiding . And she was the one we were actually worrying over.
"You're… odd, Renn. They're likely not sure yet what to think of you, is all. But I'll be honest; right now my focus is on Crown. The others are, and can be, emotional and stuff but they're at least not going to up and die on . Crown might," Lilly said, being her typical hyper-focused self.
I sighed but nodded. "Okay… I'll keep trying to spend ti with her," I promised.
"Thanks… I uh… just do your normal stuff, okay?" she then said as she stood, picking the box up wit her.
"Normal stuff…?" What'd she an?
"You know…? Being nice? Making friends? Getting people to open up and stuff? I an… you convince rit of all people to do sothing different for the first ti in what, a hundred years? Two? If you can do that for that stupid stinky fish you can do it for anyone!" Lilly said happily.
Stinky…? "We'll see… I'll do my best, but if it doesn't go well I think we should ask Vim for help," I said. He stayed out of personal things, and he might consider Crown's issue a personal problem… but I'd force him to help if I had to. He actually knew a lot more about such things than I did, or likely anyone really. And as such he probably could really help her, no matter her underlying problem.
"That's fine. Especially since you'll be there with him anyway," Lilly said as she nodded at , implying she was ready to head back upstairs.
"So you really want to take her back with ," I said.
"Please. It will help her. Give her sothing to do, sothing beyond just lying in bed or on a couch. Plus it'll keep her near you, Vim and the others. I… don't want to admit it, but she likes that church. Your church, or whatever. I… don't really know if she's a believer or not, but…" Lilly spoke softly, and shrugged as she did. In a way that told she knew she was basically admitting that she was a tiny bit of a failure.
A parent should know their child's beliefs… even if they didn't agree with them. At least, that was my perspective. "Okay… if it's worth anything, I promise to keep care of her. However I can," I vowed.
Lilly smiled as she nodded. "That's why I'm asking you, Renn. I can trust you. And I'll not make you do it all alone, I promise. I'll co visit and stay with you often, and I'll bring others with too. Lellip is already talking about going to get the rest of her family, so they might be coming soon too," Lilly said.
"Ah, she had ntioned it earlier but… well… you know," I said with a smirk as we left the room and headed out into the hallway. I walked ahead of Lilly, so I could light the way. Not that I thought Lilly really needed the light, even in this darkness.
Lilly giggled as she followed behind as I headed for the stairs a few hallways away. "Yes. I think they spend more ti in bed than they do out of it. I'm glad, to tell you the truth. ans even if it ends up not working out, at least I'll maybe get a grandchild or two out of it," Lilly said.
I smirked as I softly shook my head at her. Gosh she was so… well… her.
"Though I do think there is a tiny problem with it," I then said, slowing a little as to make sure no one heard what I was about to say. The stairs were around the bend, and the doors at the top of them that led into the house weren't closed. We had left them open.
"What's that?"
Lifting the lantern a little, so she could see my smirk, I fluttered my ears and nodded. "I think the other boys are jealous. That's why they're all grouchy," I said, suggesting my reasoning for their attitudes lately.
Lilly blinked at … and then did the opposite of what I had expected.
Instead of laughing she got very serious, and suddenly looked unhappy.
"By the gods you're right…" she whispered as she realized what I ant.
"Hm…" I nodded softly and turned back around. I returned to walking, with Lilly and tow… who was now silent. She was now deep in thought, over what I'd said.
Great… I had slightly ant it as a joke, but maybe it wasn't one at all.
Sighing softly as we returned upstairs, box of toys in hand… I hoped that one day when I had sons they didn't get jealous too. Because, like Lilly, I would have no idea how to handle it if they did.
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