"We're fine Vim. I'm glad to see you well, but we have no need for you today."
Renn shifted next to , and I did my best to ignore her tail that was very noisy beneath her clothes. It was wiggling sothing fierce, just as she ground her teeth.
Glancing past the Sheilla, I studied the small family of birds staring at us from a half open door.
"Please Vim… we are fine. As we have always been. Thank you for checking up on us, but from now on it won't be needed," Sheilla said, her eyes were rather firm as she stared at . I found myself rather proud of her. She was usually very soft spoken. The kind of gentle and demure one would expect from a such a kindhearted bird as her. Right now all of the children, and the older ones, staring at us from the house were all birds… but there had been many tis I'd co and visited, and found human children amongst them.
She always took in orphans when she encountered them. No matter if they were human or not. She was that special kind of person who didn't hesitate to save a child, no matter the danger involved.
I'd seen her stare down full grown n while protecting such children. A few tis I'd almost been too late to help her. She had scars on her back to prove that.
So I knew that look on her face. The way her eyes were slightly narrowed. The way her chin was lifted up a little, in defiance.
This was Sheilla being more than she was, standing up for what she believed in. Facing a enemy or threat. I'd recognize it anywhere.
Yet this was the first ti it had ever been sent my way.
"Okay… I understand, Sheilla. Know that we'll be staying at Nevi for a short ti, at least a few days. If in case you need sothing, we'll be there and you know how to reach ," I said gently.
Sheilla nodded. A little firmly. "Thank you Vim. Safe travels."
I nodded back as Sheilla then turned away. She stepped away from us, heading back to her ho, as if we had already turned around and left ourselves.
"But…!" Renn stepped forward, her voice cracking as she did, but I didn't let her go much farther. I grabbed her arm, a little stiffly, as I watched Sheilla. She didn't even flinch or pause upon hearing Renn.
"Farewell. May the winter be a gentle one," I said in parting, and turned as well. I kept hold of Renn's arm, as she made a weird whine. One that bespoke the mixture of heartbreak and anger inside of her. I turned her with , and gently pushed on her back as to make sure she left alongside without causing a fuss.
Renn thankfully obliged, though she did so with that sa whine as earlier. She glanced back behind us as we headed along the dirt path away from the ho and towards the edge of the village. This little coastal town only had a few hundred hos, and we were on the outskirts of it already. So we didn't need to worry about having to pass through the town again as to leave.
"Vim…" Renn groaned sadly as I released her arm, but kept my other hand on the small of her back.
"It's okay, Renn," I said softly as we continued to leave.
"No. It's not," she said.
It wasn't. But at the sa ti… it was.
I didn't look back, but I did listen. I heard Sheilla whisper to her family, and then shut the door behind her after entering her house. I kept a keen ear out as I listened, but knew I'd not hear anything.
It wasn't like soone had been in there, hiding or sothing. I had not slled anyone else. I had not heard anything odd.
Sheilla had simply wished gone. To not have stick around.
A first. From her, at least.
"She didn't even invite us in," Renn whispered as she sniffed loudly, while looking back at the house we were growing farther apart from.
"No. She didn't."
"You said she was nice…! That she always made you pancakes," Renn said worriedly as she grabbed my arm.
I nodded, as I noted the feel of her nails. They were a tad longer than they'd been in a long ti. Why was that…?
"She usually does. Pancakes with berries in them," I said.
"Then why…!"
"Isn't it obvious Renn…?" I said as we reached a more normal road. It was still one of dirt, but the dirt was compacted and didn't even have weeds growing from it. We turned onto it, and headed not just away from Sheilla's ho but the village itself. To head south, along the coast, towards Nevi.
"The vote…" Renn said through clenched teeth.
I nodded. "Very obviously. I had not thought Sheilla to be one to have such a stance… I've helped her many tis over the years, helping her save children and stuff. But, well," I shrugged softly, unsure of what else to say.
"Vim…!" Renn squeezed my arm, but I didn't look at her. I could hear the tears, and I didn't want to see her pained expression right now. It'd just make sad.
"It happens sotis, though. Look at the Summit, Renn. I can't even enter that place without getting permission first… and…" I started to try and explain, to even try and find a way to address it in as nonchalant away as possible… but, per usual, my efforts were neither quick enough nor good enough.
Squeezing my arm, Renn clung to as she wept. Full on bawling, to the point I had to slow down. She ca to a stop, and rested her head against my arm as she let out a terrible sound. One that almost made do sothing foolish.
"Jeez Renn… she hadn't even turned us away too harshly," I said softly as I studied the way she wept. I couldn't see her face, of course, thanks to the hat she wore and the way she was leaning against … but I didn't need to. I could see the great emotion all over her. Her shoulders were high, as if stressed, she was trembling, and not just from the tight squeeze of my arm. I couldn't hear her ears or tail beneath her clothes, which told they had gone limp.
Reaching up a little, I patted her gently on her arm. She made a noise as she cried, telling she had noticed, and had wanted to say sothing but was crying too hard to do so.
Really. What was I going to do with her? I had expected her to beco emotional during this journey, as the vote got closer, but…
If it was already this bad, what was she going to do when we had to face true opposition?
Sheilla had turned away. But she had not been rude about it. She had not attacked . She had not run from the re sight of .
Should… should I not let her et those like Crane? Or should I just allow her to weep and beco heartbroken each ti it happens?
I wanted her to be happy. Joyous. It was why I had chosen, at least in part, to step down as the protector.
Yet here I was. Hurting her.
She was such a gentle person. Seemingly welcod by anyone we went to see. And only turned away by those either too ignorant or too foolish to realize it. Renn was not one to normally be treated in such a way. Particularly lately, what with her scent of a predator now missing.
Yet once again, indirectly because of my mistakes, she has to endure such a thing.
Lun had been my fault. I had not intervened quick enough. I had allowed the Society, others, to decide how fate would play out. And then once it was over I didn't properly step up and correct their stupid votes to deny her the right to live amongst them. They had hated , and found wanting, but had not been brave enough to actually bla . So they had blad her instead. The woman I was seemingly growing close to.
The Bell Church was also my own mistake, in a way. I should have gone there with them. If I had not only would Renn maybe not have been banished so readily, but maybe Fly would not have had to suffer either. And if my assumption was correct… this would only get worse. This pain was only sothing she would endure and encounter more and more often as ti went by. Especially once I really stirred the pot and announced my intention to step down, regardless of the vote.
If not for our relationship she might right now be at ho elsewhere. Making a new life. Like at Lun, even. These tribulations and trials were my doing and mine alone. She has had no fault in them. Yet it was she who wept, not .
In other words, since I loved her and wanted her near … I was causing her grief. And instead of holding her and begging for forgiveness, I was just standing here awkwardly. Like a bumbling fool. My father would be ashad of . My mother would have locked in an acorn for a hundred years as punishnt.
For a few minutes we stood there, and thankfully Renn's sobbing slowly lessened. She kept her head hung low, but she still clung to even as her cries turned into sniffles.
I dared a glance back down the road, to the path we'd co from, and was glad to find we were at least out of sight of Sheilla's ho. Though there was another house not far that was in full view. Hopefully whoever lived there wasn't very observant, or out and about instead of at ho preparing for dinner as they should be at this ti of day.
"How can you just smile and accept it?"
I blinked and looked back at Renn, and found her glaring at . Rather furiously.
"What would you have do, Renn…? Force myself into her house? Force her to greet , and give tasks to help with? To demand she cook food for , against her own desires?" I asked.
Her eyes squinted and I heard her tail squirm. "No…! But…" she hesitated, and I knew it was because she herself wasn't sure what she wanted to say in response.
It wasn't like she had actually wanted to do such things… yet her emotions, her heart, had told her what had just happened was wrong. And that we should correct it.
But in honesty what had just happened wasn't wrong.
Everyone had a right to decide who they were friendly with. Everyone.
"Why is life so crazy? One mont I'm basking in the wondrous joy of great people, and then the next my heart is being broken by soone I've never even t!" Renn then said as she reached up to start cleaning her face
Smiling at her, I studied the way she wiped her face hidden by her dangling hair. It had gotten long again… and…
Wait no.
Reaching up, I grabbed so of her hair. Gently, of course, to the point she didn't even seem to realize what I was doing as she kept on sniffing and rubbing her face clean of snot and who knows what else.
Why was it so long…? Most of it was bundled up beneath her hat and hood that was pushed back onto her shoulders. A part of the clump of hair I held was even a part of her bangs, and there was quite a slump of hair between the section I held and her head.
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Hadn't she just gotten it cut? Didn't Nann or soone cut her hair? How long ago had that been? It had likely been months… but…
"Vim…?" Renn finally noticed I was holding her hair, so I released it. I watched the way it fell, joining the rest… stopping a little past her breast.
"When'd you last cut your hair, Renn?" I asked.
"Huh…? Nann cut it for ," she said as she sniffed. She was looking at as if I was being weird.
Which was funny.
. Weird.
When she had hair that was growing as quickly, if not quicker, than a humans.
It had not grown that fast before, had it? It had gotten long once, but I think it was now longer than it had ever been.
Right…?
"How often do you normally need to cut your hair, Renn?" I asked. It honestly needed to be trimd a little now. So parts were growing faster than the others, likely thanks to the way Nann had cut it. She had done it up in layers, it had looked good on her.
"What…? What the heck? Vim why are you talking about my hair now? After what just happened!" Renn asked as she pointed past , back to where we'd just co from. Sheilla's house.
"It's important. Please, I'm not trying to change topics I'm being serious," I said.
Renn hesitated, and she gave an odd look as she glanced down and grabbed at her hair. The sa section I had just held.
"I… don't know? Every so often… I guess? I usually cut it when it starts getting in the way of my sight, or when it starts getting stuck on stuff, or clumpy. It's probably not long from doing that, I guess?" she said as she studied the hair in her hand.
Great. She had no idea. But… how could she? Renn wasn't a filthy person, and seed to really like being clean, but she also wasn't the type to really care about her appearance. Not in the way I was used to. She didn't care if her hair was a tad unruly or not fashioned perfectly. In fact I think I rember her even saying that the haircut Nann had given her had been the fanciest she'd ever gotten. It had been a simple one, with layers in the back. It really had looked good on her... but I kind of liked how it looked when unruly too.
"What is it Vim? Why are you being weird over it?" she asked as she looked back at .
"You're a non-human. One thick in the blood. Hundreds of years old," I said.
She slowly nodded. "Yeah…?"
"Yet your hair and nails grow as quickly as a humans," I pointed out while gesturing at her nails, which I had just noticed had gotten sharp again when she had been squeezing my arm.
"Well… I guess? Do they? Why? Why's that a problem?" she asked.
Why was it a problem…?
I hesitated and wondered what to say to her. I an…
Hasn't she noticed?
"Once one of our kind reach adult age, they typically stop aging. The thicker of blood one is, the longer their youth and stuff lasts. Only a few in all my years, like Mordo, have beco as ancient looking as they actually are," I said.
Renn's brow furrowed at . "Are… are you saying I'm going to start growing really old? Or are you saying I should be?" she asked, trying to understand my aning.
I shook my head. "No. I'm saying those who are thick in the blood, usually either don't grow at all until their end, or do so only very… very slowly. Rember Root? It will take her decades to reach maturity. It took Sap almost fifty years to reach adulthood, and she had been thin blooded," I said.
Renn shifted, and I heard her ears shift under her hat. "So… what are you saying?"
Right… well…
I hesitated again, and wondered why I was even making a big deal out of it. After all… it wasn't like I could change it. Or alter it. No matter what was happening.
So she was different. In her own way. Unique.
That was no big deal. Everyone was unique in their own way, especially us who existed outside the realm of normalcy.
Yet hers was such an odd thing.
It'd make sense if it was sothing new. Like her loss of a scent to others. Sothing that had only just recently started, thanks to her connection with .
But she's been dealing with this for her whole life…? That ant it wasn't . Though one might be able to argue I was amplifying it…
"I'm just saying… you're of thick blood, maybe thicker than anyone else alive today. Yet your body still acts as if it's not, in such ways as that. Hair growth, nails… it explains why you always need to brush your tail and ears too," I said. I'd never comnted on it, but when she did she always had a clump of fur she had to toss aside that she shed while she brushed herself.
Renn sniffed again as she gave a look. "So… it's not a big deal at all then?" she asked.
"Not really. Just sothing I noticed, that was odd," I said.
She then hit . Square in the stomach.
I of course didn't buckle, or even make a noise, but the impact was hard enough to jolt my whole body.
"What was that for?" I asked.
"I just cried my heart out and that's all you're worried about!?" she asked loudly.
"No… I was worried about that too, I had even wondered if maybe I shouldn't have you et Crane or…" I started to raise a hand, to defend myself, but then I was hit again. Sa spot.
This ti I made a little noise, since I had been in the middle of talking. A tiny grunt escaped as Renn genuinely hissed at . "What gives you the right to think that!" she shouted.
"It was just a consideration…" I said carefully.
To think just monts ago she had been weeping! She now stood up fully, nearly on her toes, and had both hands clinched before her into fists. As if readying up to get into the ring with .
The sight of her acting so made smile. I really liked that look of strange anger on her face. It wasn't hatred, and maybe not even rage. I could even see a faint smirk hidden behind her glowering sneer and…
She hit again. "Don't smirk at !"
"Hard not to when you're being so adorable," I defended myself.
Hopefully she wasn't hurting her hand. She kept hitting square in the sa spot, and I knew my body wasn't the softest thing to hit. Especially not when it was now expecting an attack. Odds are my stomach was as hard as a tree at the mont.
If she threw another punch I'll need to step back a bit, to absorb the blow. Not for myself, but her own bones. I didn't want to break them.
Glancing away from her hands, wondering why she had gone quiet and hadn't hit again… I found the reason.
She had gone completely red in the face.
The world went still for a mont, and I had to force myself to breathe again as a huge grin planted itself on my face. "You really are a pendulum!" I said happily.
Weird noises ca from her as she groaned and shifted, but didn't throw another punch. She kept her hands clasped tightly but lowered them as she looked away, as if to hide her embarrassnt with her long hair. "You've said that before. What's it an?" she asked.
"Pendulum…? In that context it's used as a reference to the tendency of your swinging of emotions. You don't do it too often, but when you go from sorrow to joy, then anger and back again, I find myself rather fascinated. Transfixed, even," I said.
She tilted her head for a mont, and then finally looked back at . Her face was still red, but not as badly as before. "You like it when I'm emotional?" she asked.
"A lot. I guess…?" I admitted.
Renn studied for a mont, and then gave an odd smile. "You're weird, Vim."
"Indeed I am… But that's fine as long as it makes you happy," I said.
Her smile beca a little wonky; as if she was trying her best to stop smiling yet found she was unable to. "Didn't you get upset too, Vim? Didn't what just happened hurt at all?" she then asked.
Oh? We were done talking about her, I guess. "Usually I'm the one who causes such topic shifts," I said.
"We'll get back to , but if I don't ask about it now you'll keep distracting until it's too late," she grumbled.
Right. I sighed and nodded. "It had bothered , Renn. But only because it's so telling. If even those like her are going to start distancing themselves from … well… then…" I paused a mont, since her smile had finally broken. Her lips quivered a little, as if she was about to cry again. "Well, maybe my decision was the right one, Renn. Even if it hurts to say so," I finished.
"Mhm…" she made a noise, and I noticed a small tear slide out from the corner of her eye. She ignored it as it slid down her cheek. "You don't deserve such treatnt Vim. Even if their argunt that you're not doing good enough was true, it doesn't discount how nice you are to everyone. How you always go out of your way to help in any way you can. You helped Elk prepare for his new bedroom. Glass's family you helped with several things, their boat and that musical instrunt. You always help everyone, without asking for anything in return," Renn said.
"The reason I help in such ways Renn is because I can't help in the ways they actually need to. I can't give them what they really need, so give what I can. That's not a good argunt," I said softly
She shook her head. "It is, Vim. Yes… you are so great, so strong, that in theory you should be able to give them all exactly whatever they need. Safe hos. Safe environnts, and more. But the reality is they won't let you. How are you supposed to protect people that won't even attempt to fulfill the smallest of requirents for such a thing to happen? They won't even live close enough to each other for you to properly protect them, and that's on them, not you," Renn said.
"How many tis are we going to have this conversation before you're willing to admit that at the end of the day, I am the one at fault, Renn? Since all of those issues are because of my own personality flaws, in reality?" I asked.
The dirt beneath her feet made noises as she shifted her weight and crossed her arms. "Don't say that stuff Vim. It just makes want to cry."
"Okay… what would you rather talk about instead then?" I offered.
Renn sniffed again, and then gave an odd frown. "What's a pancake?"
I blinked at her, and for a tiny mont wondered if she was teasing … but then noticed the seriousness in her eyes.
"A… soft snack. One I will promptly make for you once we reach Nevi," I said. Odds are she's had one before, but had heard a different na for them. It wasn't like they were that fancy or rare of a treat.
She smiled at and nodded. "Good!"
Feeling defeated, I sighed once more and reached my hand out. It hovered before her for a mont before she uncrossed her arms and then took my own.
She took her place by my side, right up against , as she held my arm and we began to walk once more.
"I had offered my hand, not my arm," I said.
"It's in my nature to take more than I was offered," she said.
"Is it now?"
"Well… no. Only when it concerns you, I think," she said honestly.
I nodded at that. That made a lot more sense. When it ca to others Renn was actually very reserved. She seed to try her best to not be imposing to anyone, not even those she felt truly close to like Lilly or rit.
"Speaking of offerings… I have a gift idea in mind for you. But before I do it I'd like to hear your opinion on it," I said, bringing it up.
"Hm?"
"It's about to get cold. And we will be up here in the north long enough to have to endure it," I said.
"Right…?"
"I'd like to get you sothing to fit around your neck. A muffler, of sorts. Since your new clothes and cloak will protect you from most else," I said as I pointed at her neck.
"Muffler…?"
"A scarf."
"Oh? Really?" Renn perked up at that, which I knew she would.
I nodded. "Would it bother you if I caught a fox and used its fur? To make it for you?" I asked.
Renn tilted her head at . "Hm…? Why would it?"
Ah. I see. My worry had been pointless. I should have kept it secret then.
Oh well. Next ti. "So won don't like the senseless killing of animals. Well, so n too," I said while thinking of the many who would complain at my sexism in the Society, naly those like Windle.
Renn giggled at . "I see! Well… It would bother if you killed animals for no reason Vim, but you want to use it to make a present? How's that any different than the clothes we wear? Or my shoes? Or hat?" she asked as she pointed at her head, particularly the hat made of mink.
Right…
I nodded, and felt silly again.
Right. Of course.
This was that type of era after all.
Plus she was a predator. A real one. Even if her heart was so swollen and soft, beyond rhy or reason.
"I an you even make stuff out of monarch leather, right? Actually, I've been aning to ask about that… our bags are made out of monarchs, right? Why don't you make clothes out of the stuff, Vim? Lilly's cloak was made of it too, right? It seems to be rather strong and durable, and light. I bet a set of monarch clothes would last you a lot longer than normal stuff," Renn asked as she grabbed at the sleeve on my arm she held.
She was asking why I wasn't decked out in the stuff, not why I didn't make more of it for her. Such a strange woman.
"Because only certain monarchs have suitable materials to make stuff out of. And of that stuff, they're hard to properly form right. Making a cloak, or a bag or pouch, is easier than making suitable clothing. It'd end up looking really weird, or feel uncomfortable," I said.
"Hm… that's too bad," Renn said.
It was. But not for the reason she was thinking.
"I've tried before. The few attempts I've had that ended up with moderately successful sets were… well… Let's just say they didn't last long, for one reason or another," I said.
She snickered at . "That ans they either got destroyed instantly, or you found them hideous or uncomfortable. Probably both," she teased.
"You're not wrong."
Renn enjoyed that as we left the village… leaving Sheilla behind.
I dedicated this place to mory, adding it to the rather long list that was now growing once more, of locations I no longer needed to visit during my travels. Not unless summoned, first.
We walked slower than usual, but I was okay with it. We were leaving in a form of defeat, but also with our heads high. And as we did, I was glad that we had sohow also left the tears and sorrow Renn had found while there behind too.
Even if I had to play the fool to accomplish it.
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