"What's with this?" I laughed as I tugged gently on Lujic's beard.
The boy, who was no longer a boy at all, chuckled with a deep voice as he let ss with his scraggly beard. It was a full one, large enough to grab handfuls of… but had small patches here and there where it didn't seem to grow. It made him look so silly.
Yet as silly as it looked… it suited him all the sa.
He had grown into the old knight he had wanted to. How lovely.
Letting his beard go, I sighed and cupped his face. Were his cheeks shallow…? I think they were. Hopefully he was getting enough to eat, and wasn't stressed.
Though… I could see why he would be, if he was.
I glanced to our right, out past the small field of carrots and other greens, and to the house. Two of his children were running around outside, their mother not far. She was sitting at a small table, one littered with food and drinks… where we had all just been sitting and eating.
My return had happened right as they were putting the food down. As to eat outside, all together. It had been such a lovely sight I had broken into tears over it.
My little boy. Little Lujic. A man with a family.
"Ginny would be so proud of you," I whispered as I looked back at him.
Lujic grinned and nodded. "I like to think so too..."
Sniffing I nodded. She would be. He had even nad one of his daughters after her. I had almost stumbled when he had shouted her na, as to introduce to his kids.
I'd never even considered such a thing. Passing on nas was common for humans. Very common. It made jealous, and wonder about myself.
"How have you been Renny…? Where've you gone? What've you done?" Lujic asked gently as he stared at as kindly as I was him.
"I've just been traveling… like before. I went and saw the ocean again this ti. Caught a huge fish, so big not even I could pull it out of the waters!" I said as I spread my arms apart, to try and display how big it had been.
He tilted his head, and I could tell he didn't believe . It wasn't his fault though… as far as I was aware he had never seen the ocean.
Neither of them had.
That thought made sad as I lowered my arms and stepped back a step, as to look down at Ginny's grave.
We had buried her near a large tree. One that had not been as big as it was now when we first settled down here. Today it was huge, full and with many branches. It sounded like there were even birds nesting in it. Ginny would like that; she had enjoyed the songs birds had sung. So I was glad for it.
Thinking of Ginny made smile, but it also made my heart hurt.
Taking a small breath, I kept myself from crying. Right now wasn't when I should cry.
I should be happy. The young boy had beco a man. Had raised a family. Was raising a family. His wife had a growing belly.
The ho I had helped them find was now theirs in full. They were a part of the community. A growing village. They were safe. Had a place to belong. A purpose.
Everything I didn't.
"I'm sorry I don't visit often anymore," I said softly as I realized I had gone too long since my last visit, again. Last ti I had been here he had not a single child. In fact that was why I had left originally, was because he had married and I had not been able to stand how much the flirted so brazenly. I had wanted to give them distance. So ti alone. I had been trying to be nice.
Plus… although I knew it didn't need to be said aloud, since Lujic likely knew full well, but the sad reality was… I had no choice.
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This village, although not a large one, was a quiet but close community. They all went to the church to pray. There were even days every month where the whole village gathered to celebrate whatever they wanted to celebrate. They ate together. Had dances together. Mourned together, even, when people suffered or died.
I didn't grow old. Not like any of them. And humans noticed that… after a while at least.
I couldn't stay in one place like this too long. Rarely if ever more than a decade. And even that was pushing it to the limit.
"You don't visit enough, no… but I understand, Rennalee. You're… not like us. So I understand, even if it hurts," Lujic said with his new voice.
I shifted a little and glanced at him. Did all boys grow up to be so tall and have such deep voices…? Surely not, right?
"Are you happy?" I asked him.
He nodded. "Very. Almost annoyingly so," he said with a smile.
I smiled back at that. I could feel the pride swell within , even though I knew I really couldn't claim any of his happiness as trophies for my own deeds.
He had grabbed his own happiness.
He had beco a knight on his own. Found a wife on his own. Settled down, started a family, and so much more… all on his own.
I had just… been there to help him a little. Here and there. Nothing more.
In fact…
I had even failed his sister.
So in all honesty I shouldn't be proud at all.
"I… wish I could go with you, you know?" Lujic then said softly.
"Hm…?"
"I rember our trips. Or at least so of them. The one I rember best is when we went to so village. A place covered in snow. To visit so friend of yours. They knew who you were, what you were… but I don't rember their nas, or where that had been, strangely enough. I always wondered if it was simply my childish mind or your strange powers affecting ," Lujic said as he pondered it.
Strange powers…? Did he really think I was still so kind of forest spirit…?
Such a thing made smirk, since I didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise now. If he had believed it for so long, likely nothing I would ever say or do would change it. May as well just let it be then.
"Witch's ho," I said gently. It was the only place I had taken Lujic and Ginny to, before we had co here. In fact it wasn't too far away. About a month's distance at most.
"Possibly… though since we're on the subject… I've started to forget things, you know?" he then said as he looked at .
I stood up a little straighter, and wondered what he ant. "Forget?" I asked carefully.
He nodded slowly, and I noticed how his eyes had grown a little soft. A little duller. He was now not really looking at , but lost in his own thoughts.
"Like Ginny… I… can't really rember her voice anymore. Whenever I try to think of her… I only hear my own daughter's instead," he said softly.
I shifted ever so gently. "They do kind of sound alike, I suppose," I said softly.
They hadn't. His Ginny, his daughter, had a much deeper voice. A more nasally one.
He nodded. "Hm… maybe," he said.
Feeling strange, I wondered if I should start worrying about him. How strange, when I had just been… so happy that he seed to be doing so fine. So great, all on his own…
I'd worry of him bringing this up so suddenly… but it made sense to .
He, nor Ginny, had ever called mother. Or sister. But I knew they had always seen as one.
And right now… well… he was opening up to the one he saw as his protector. His guardian. His parent, or caretaker.
He was telling of an ailnt he couldn't tell anyone else. Not his children, or fellow knights, not even his wife.
But the sad thing was… I knew it wasn't a true ailnt. Not like the things that had stricken Ginny.
Lujic was simply…
Growing old.
I had seen it, felt it, in his beard. Parts of it had grown gray. Thin. Frail.
"You can co with if you want, Lujic. It'd be fun to travel together again," I invited him, deciding that might be the best way to help him face such a strange fear as growing old.
He slowly shook his head as his eyes refocused, as to look out over to his family. The kids were now sitting with their mother, either finishing what little food was left or just sitting and talking. "I can't… I have duties now," he said.
Smiling at my little knight, grown so tall and wise, I reached over to pat him on his head… until I found my hand couldn't reach. So instead I simply patted him on the shoulder.
"You've grown into a fine man, Lujic. My brave knight," I said.
He sniffed as he nodded.
"Mind if I stay for a little while…?" I asked gently.
He nodded again… and it was my turn to sniff and nod.
I'll make sure not to wander too long next ti. I needed this. Probably as much as he needed it too.
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