Miss Beak’s heart was warm, like always. Yet it did seem a little brighter than usual… though that might just be because of where we were.
I was sitting on the only elevated section of floor in this room full of pedestals and water. It was more of a step really than anything else. It raised up the pedestal behind , which had been where Miss Beak’s heart had been resting before I picked it up.
“You really should have slept more, Renn,” Vim said as he stepped away from the blue heart’s pedestal.
I shrugged as I ran my thumb along Miss Beak’s heart. “I’ll be okay,” I said.
We were leaving soon. It was still the middle of the night. Vim wanted us to leave not long after the morning sunrise… so he was a little worried I’d not have gotten enough sleep for the venture we were about to embark on.
“Honestly I’d have thought Narli would have been boring in bed. Yet look at you, exhausted even though you’ve been sleeping so often,” Vim teased .
“Oh shush. You should be thanking her, really,” I teased back.
Vim tilted his head at and frowned.
I smirked and nodded. “I may have grown upset if I had to sleep alone. She was entertaining enough to forget for a mont it wasn’t you in my bed,” I said.
He smirked back at . “So I should thank her, then?” he asked.
“I’d think you should, yes. Especially since our long talks through the night hadn’t been that odd,” I said.
“Odd…?” Vim asked.
Shifting a little, I tried not to smirk too broadly as my ear twitched. “Narli’s interests are more… simple. For instance Sharp’s conversations had always been… well…” I hesitated, and ntally kicked myself. Don’t hesitate now! Coughing, I nodded. “About us. By the way she was very upset we’ve not done anything yet. While Narli is glad we’re taking it slow,” I said. As I got over my embarrassnt.
Vim’s eyes narrowed at for a mont, and I did my best to hold his gaze. I faltered though after a mont and looked away, pretending to look at Miss Beak’s heart.
He sighed. “So Narli was interested then,” he said.
“Mhm…” I mumbled as I nodded. She had been. More than I made her out to be…
“I’m glad you’ve made a friend, Renn… but you really should have rested,” he said softly, unbothered by my teasing.
“How could I, Vim…? She was so happy to have soone to talk to, and… well…”
I had been too.
Yes I was a little tired. Because Narli and I had talked even until the sun ca up… but…
I’d not hesitate to do it again if given the chance.
Vim stepped closer, and I knew without looking at him that he understood what I ant. I knew if I looked up from the heart in my hands, which rested on my lap, I’d see a sad but knowing frown on his face.
He was always so worried for . He always did his best to make sure I wasn’t hungry, or tired, or sad. It was… rather comforting to have soone so mindful of , but it was sad at the sa ti.
It reminded that Nory and the others, like Lujic and Ginny, hadn’t been so. They had cared for , of course, but…
Well…
“Renn…?” Vim noticed my thoughts and worries, and I smiled sheepishly at him.
“I was just… thinking,” I said.
“About?”
“How kind you are to . I’ve… well…” I hesitated a mont, since I wasn’t sure if I wanted to say it aloud or not. But the mont of hesitation passed rather easily. “I’ve rembered my ti with Nory… and the kids. They were… not very worried of like you are. They never really noticed or minded if I was hungry, or cold, or sothing,” I said.
Vim was about to say sothing, but I raised a hand and waved the heavy air away.
“But!” I quickly said. “I think it’s my fault… I an… I’m not human. So I may have been seen as sothing… different to them. Sothing special. Especially so for the children. I was more an older sibling, or mother, than anything else… So it wasn’t that surprising or that big a deal,” I reasoned.
As I spoke, I realized how my own voice sounded. It echoed a tad in this room, here in the Keep. I sounded… a little desperate. As if I was trying to convince soone sothing.
Likely myself more than him.
“Basically they all saw as soone, sothing, special… so… They hadn’t worried for like that, in that way,” I finished.
“I know that feeling, Renn,” Vim said gently.
Beak’s heart thumped in my hand as I held Vim’s eyes. He was looking down at with worried eyes. He looked like he expected to start crying all of a sudden.
“You…” I blinked a few tis as I realized he was very right. Yes. He did. “You do, huh?” I said.
“It’s a little sad to think I’m always reminding you of sad things,” he said.
I smiled at him. “Really? Rather you make realize how happy I am now. Would you rather you make always rember happier tis?” I asked.
He frowned as he tilted his head in thought. “Huh… I suppose that’s true.”
“Right? Though I do suppose a day will co where you will remind of happier tis, too,” I said as I thought about it.
“How so?”
“Well… one day I’ll look back on monts like this. And delight in them,” I said.
“Ah… that would be a good thing too, wouldn’t it?” He agreed.
I nodded as Vim stepped over to . He huffed softly as he turned around and sat down next to . It was an awkward attempt, since the step we were sitting on was not very high off the ground. It was almost the sa as simply sitting on the ground, really.
Still, I enjoyed his presence and warmth as I leaned against him. “Why leave her here, Vim?” I asked as I tapped the heart in my hands.
“I trust the ones here, Renn. They’ll not touch it, or let anyone else do so either,” he said.
I nodded. “I get that. I know. I ant… why do it at all? Don’t you need to take it to soone who can eat it?” I asked.
He sighed. “Well… that was the original plan, yes. But with this vote being called, we’ll be forced to return to Telmik sooner rather than later. So I’ll not be able to go to the only monarch I can trust to devour it right now,” he said.
“Tor and Bray aren’t that far from Telmik,” I said. A few weeks, less if we hurried.
“Neither of them are ready yet. Bray just ate one, and she’s on the brink anyway… and Tor is… well…” he mulled his next words for a mont, and then sighed and nodded. “He’s problematic. I don’t like giving him hearts. I will if I must, and I may very well have to, but giving him one so soon after the last worries … especially when it’s that heart that we’re talking about,” he said with a small point to my lap.
“Because she had been so powerful,” I said, understanding.
He nodded. “Yes. I worry if I give that to either of them right now, I’d end up with another heart I’d have to worry about. Almost defeating the purpose,” he said.
I frowned as I processed his words… and then realized he was saying that he expects either Bray or Tor to either die, or need to be killed, if given Miss Beak’s heart.
“Is… a powerful heart that effective?” I asked.
“Verily.”
“Hm…” I lifted her heart, to turn it around and study it.
It was strange sothing so tiny could be so influential.
“Has Narli told you if I could absorb it yet or not?” I asked softly.
We’d been here for over a week since Vim had asked Narli to find out. No one, neither Vim nor Narli, had brought it up since.
“She hasn’t. But I don’t expect her to. It might take many years before she figures it out, if ever,” Vim said.
“If… if she uh…” I gulped as I wondered if I should ask or not.
“If she figures you can, and do so safely… yes, Renn. I might consider it,” Vim said gently.
Glancing at him, I found he was looking away from . He was staring to our right, to the pedestal in the center of the room. The blue one with water flowing out of it.
“Really…?” I asked softly.
“Well… like I said. I’d consider it. Plus it’d be up to you… and I’d not allow you to do it right away,” he said.
“Hm…” I ran my thumbs along the warm heart, and couldn’t help but smile at him.
So he really would consider it.
I wasn’t sure what to think of it yet, honestly. But that was mostly because I wasn’t entirely sure what it ant yet to absorb a Monarch’s heart.
“We can talk about it later. For now it’s a moot point,” Vim said, likely noticing my thoughts.
“Mhm,” I nodded, accepting that.
Later was fine. I was patient.
“Speaking of Narli… have you enjoyed your ti with her here?” Vim asked.
I nodded. “Very much so. She’s…” I hesitated a mont, and then decided to just say it. Especially since he likely knew already. “She’s lonely,” I said.
Vim nodded in a way that told he knew full well what I ant.
“You’re going to escort them all to Telmik for the vote right?” I asked.
He nodded again.
“How do you… hide her? Her eyes kind of give it away,” I said.
“Bandages. Kind of like what Sharp does. That or special glasses, that are dark. There are a few pairs of them already at Telmik. I’ll bring them back with us when we return to pick them up,” he said.
Oh…! I smiled at him. “I’m glad you’re so thoughtful,” I said.
“If I was truly cautious I’d never allow her to go anywhere near Telmik… but… well…” he shrugged.
“You value free-will,” I said simply.
He nodded.
Still… he was right… “Is Telmik really that dangerous for her Vim? You’ve ntioned once that they’d kidnap a saint if they could,” I asked.
“It is. It regretfully is,” he said.
“Why then… admit she exists? The census map, the one you showed at the Cathedral, had them all listed,” I asked.
“Of course you rember that... And it's because it’s easier to hide sothing with a tiny lie rather than a huge one. No one else knows she’s a saint, Renn. Oplar knows, but she’s trustworthy. She isn’t religious, and has a beef with the Chronicler and the rest of the church. Plus she’s a pacifist. She couldn’t harm anyone even if she tried. And… well… to be honest I don’t think Oplar really comprehends what Narli is anyway,” he said.
Huh… So Oplar really did have her own issues. Interesting.
I sniffed away a yawn before it could escape, and noticed again the slight dampness in the air. It wasn’t too bad, but sotis a deep breath forced you to notice it.
Really Renn… you had just told Vim you were fine and not tired. Don’t go yawning in front of him after declaring such a thing! He’ll make us stay another day.
I didn’t mind that, at all. I liked it here. I liked Narli and Berri. But… well…
That was the issue. I liked them too much.
I wanted to stay here longer. I wanted to spend more ti with them.
So I couldn’t afford to linger here. Else I might long for it.
“Did you sleep at all, Vim?” I asked.
“No.”
“Are you… feeling better then?” I asked.
“No…”
That wasn’t good at all.
“What do we do about it, Vim?” I asked.
“I don’t know, Renn. I’m going to try and fight it, I think,” he said.
“Fight it?” What’d he an by that?
He nodded and shifted, making move again. I had to grab the heart since he bumped hard enough to make it roll along my thigh.
“I want to see if the feeling of exhaustion gets worse, or stays the sa. I slept quite a bit at the Crypt… it didn’t seem to help much, except for about a day or so after sleeping. I’m going to see if it gets worse when I go weeks without sleep,” he said.
“Vim… why risk it?” I groaned in worry.
“Because I need to understand it. I need to know my limits, and what I can and can’t do.”
“Yeah but…” I went quiet as I noticed the look on his face.
He was serious, and there was likely nothing I could do or say to change his mind. He had already made his decision, and was already in the middle of testing it.
“I’m sorry I’m not good enough to lure you into bed every night,” I whispered softly.
Vim’s face contorted into an odd frown, and then he smirked as he glanced at . “You haven’t realized it yet?” he asked.
“Realized what…?”
“Nothing… for your information our next location will allow us to sleep together, if you’d like,” he said.
“If I’d like…? Why would I say no?” I asked, confused why he’d even say it that way.
He shrugged again, but didn’t do it so roughly that it made move. “You always make friends and stuff… I might get pushed aside and abandoned again, is all,” he said.
Giggling at his strangely sad tone, I couldn’t help but bump him back. He barely budged. “Please…! And this is the place that banished you, right…? Yea, no. Likely won’t find any friends there, I’m sure,” I said.
“We’ll see.”
We shall.
He sighed and reached over, tapping Miss Beak’s heart. Although his flick of the finger didn’t make much sound, or move the ball very much in my hands, it still affected it.
For several monts I watched in awe as the swirling colors and lights inside the heart went crazy. As if Vim had just stuck a stick into it and stirred, the colors and lights were spinning as if from a current or wind.
“Huh…” I watched intently, shocked. I’d seen the swirling colors move and dance, but nothing like this… and it hadn’t done anything like this before, no matter how much I had ssed with it.
“There’re a few things we’ll need to do, Renn. Before the vote,” Vim said softly.
“Such as?” I asked as the swirls of colors inside the heart began to slow down and settle.
“Stuff like that,” Vim said as he pointed to my lap. “We’ll need to go to a few places… and grab so stuff. There’s so stuff at the Cathedral we’ll need to get too, just in case.”
“Hm… just in case we get banned from those places, and can’t get them afterward,” I said, understanding.
“Yeah. There’s not much we need to worry about… but there’s a few things I should probably take care of,” he said.
Interesting. I’d not thought about it, but that was true… if Vim did get banished from more locations… he would indeed be unable to get anything he’s left behind in those locations. Most particularly because he wasn’t willing to break any rules imposed on him. After all, it wasn’t like anyone could actually stop him from doing so if he really wanted to.
“Where will we take the stuff you’re worried about? Bring it all back here?” I asked.
Vim shifted a little, making my whole body wobble and shift with him. “Hm… maybe. I hate leaving everything in one place though,” he said.
“Do you now? Funny… especially since I’ve been under the assumption you didn’t even have anything all this ti,” I said.
“Hm?” he glanced at and I nodded as I tapped the heart. The inside of it was calm now. It no lingered looked disturbed… as if the crazy swirling and movent had never happened.
My tap of course had no effect. Although my nail did make an odd noise as I tapped it. It sounded kind of like how my nails on glass did, but it was a little too dull sounding to really be glass. “I an… you care so little for stuff, Vim. Yet now? You have a tombstone. Hearts. And stuff beneath the Cathedral and elsewhere? And here I felt bad for making my bag so heavy by collecting so much these last few months,” I said.
He chuckled at . “Yes. So much stuff. Maybe between the two of us we can gather up enough stuff to fill a single tiny bedroom in the next few years,” he said.
I smiled at that idea. “Don’t tease with that Vim; I won’t need years at all! Plus it’s your fault, most of the stuff I carry around now is because of you,” I said.
“Hm…” he nodded, accepting that fact.
It was true though. Most of the things I found precious enough to keep on … were well… from him, in one form or another.
“Though… maybe you’re right. A room…? Maybe we should make a place for ourselves. Are there any places like this anywhere? That aren’t lived at? Any long forgotten places we could claim for ourselves?” I asked him.
Vim shifted again, and I patiently waited to hear what he’d say. After a long mont of thought he rolled a shoulder and nodded. “Well… I can think of a few places. Yes.”
I smirked at him. “I an places we can stop at. Along our routes. Not so distant island,” I clarified.
He smirked at and nodded. “I know. Yes. There is. There’s an overgrown castle near Lun, near those massive bridges, that as far as I’m aware hasn’t been touched by people in a thousand years. There’s an underwater place near the western seas, but that’d be a pain to use… being underwater. We could also just make soplace ourselves too, if you’d like. Sowhere you want to call ho, Renn? Maybe your mountains in the north?” he asked.
Gripping the heart, I hesitated at the very gentle and lovely idea.
My heart grew hotter than the heart in my lap as I smiled. “That’s… a very lovely idea. Would you really be okay with that?” I asked.
“Why not? We’d never be able to stay there long… a week or so a year at best… but it’d work. Plus it’d be a good spot for you to run to and hide at if you ever need to, if we got separated or sothing. It could even be a place you could stay at, if you soday didn’t want to go with to certain locations,” he said.
“And why would I ever want to do that, Vim?” I asked with a smirk.
“Oh I’m sure soday we’ll have fights or sothing. Or maybe you’ll end up hating certain places, or sothing,” he said with a tiny shrug. He hadn’t put much thought into it… and hadn’t realized why I was smirking at him.
Although I wanted to tease him over the idea of needing a place to stay, for extended periods, because traveling would be too difficult… I decided against it. It was likely too early to bring up such topics with him. Especially since it’s taken this long just to get this far into our relationship.
He was so… strangely hesitant and fearful of being closer to . If I suddenly suggested having children or sothing, he’d likely panic.
Though honestly I wasn’t ready for such a thing anyway. I still had so much I wanted to see and do with him. So many people to et, and places to see.
Plus this vote was bothering … but…
Not as much as his obvious personal issues.
His exhaustion was starting to really scare . Especially since he was now trying such a strange thod to test its seriousness. What if by not sleeping for so long he did permanent damage or sothing?
Damage… like his wounds re-opening…
Glancing to his hands, which were resting in front of him thanks to his elbows on his knees… I was glad to see undamaged skin.
He had said such wounds re-opening did happen sotis… but…
But his discomfort and shock had been rather obvious.
Vim could lie. I wasn’t stupid. He lied when he needed to. To keep secrets. To protect those he felt needed it.
But would he have lied about those wounds? To ?
Maybe.
My eyes blurred, and I wasn’t able to stop this yawn from escaping.
After yawning, I did my best to ignore Vim’s look.
“I’ll be fine. Promise,” I said.
“Hm… want to stay another day?” he asked calmly.
Great. I knew he would do that…
Shaking my head, I tapped the heart again. “No… I’ll just stay up late talking to Narli again if we do,” I said.
“Not if I carry you to bed,” he suggested.
Smiling at him, I did my best to not turn his teasing into a promise. “It’s fine. You said we can sleep together at the Summit? We’ll make it up there,” I said.
“Hmph.”
Nodding, I was proud of myself. Not only had I resisted the offer to stay here another day, and enjoy Narli and her family, but also resisted his offer to carry to bed.
Though resisting it was a little easier since I knew his true aning.
Reaching over, I slid my hand into his. It was cold, especially when compared to the warm heart I’d been holding all this ti.
“I’ll be with you Vim. No matter what happens,” I promised.
He smiled as he squeezed my hand. “Want to know sothing scary?” he asked.
I nodded, and wondered what he would say.
“Such a thing was never a doubt in my mind,” he said.
Unable to resist, I scoffed a laughed and giggled at him.
“Only you would find sothing like that to be so terrifying!”
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