Reatti had arrived this morning. Right as the sun was rising, when the world was still more dark than light.
She had shown up not alone… yet not with Vim, or anyone I had known.
Turns out, no one had known the stranger.
“It’s Wool,” Fly said softly.
“Wool?” I perked up a little, to stare around the corner of the church building. Fly and I were hiding behind it, the both of us staring at the small crowd near the house. They’d been talking for awhile, but the crowd was now smaller. And not just because of those who had left the small group to go about their day.
Not everyone had gone up to greet Reatti and… the other woman. But that wasn’t because they didn’t care for her, or weren’t happy to see her. There were still several people sleeping inside the church, which for so reason no one was willing to wake them up yet. Which wasn’t too surprising, since the sunrise was still happening. It was morning, but early morning. Too early to be this noisy, even for our kind. We were being so noisy, the birds nested on the roof of the church were chipping loudly in complaint.
What I really noted from such a thing though was… well…
The others weren’t like . They weren’t afraid to et Reatti.
I had hid, like a coward.
Though, oddly, so had Fly… though obviously, for different reasons.
Fly nodded quickly, her feathers brushing against as she did. She was in front of , but I was leaning forward and over her a little as to look with her. “She lived in the sewers like I did… but I’ve never really spent ti with her. She was always with others, and deeper below. I’ve never had a problem with her, but I didn’t like the one who owned her,” Fly said.
“Owned her…?” I asked softly.
Fly nodded and leaned back a little, which made have to step back too. We couldn’t see Reatti or the crowd anymore as Fly glanced around as if to make sure no one was listening. “She was owned by Ortho. A huge man with a flat face and claws. He was cruel, he killed for fun,” Fly said.
“So not soone who we’d let join us,” I said stiffly.
“I’m not sure about Wool. She was his, but that doesn’t an she was an too. I never knew her well… I don’t think I’ve spoken to her more than a few tis,” Fly said as she stepped back to the corner and peered around it.
I sighed, and wondered how and what happened. For Reatti to bring her here then surely that ant Vim had allowed it… but…
“She usually was hurt, though. She might be okay,” Fly said lightly.
Right. Owned. She had ant that word literally.
That Ortho had owned her, like a slave. Like an item, not a person.
Humans did the sa… just like with Lamp and her people… So it wasn’t really that big of a shock that our kind did the sa thing. Especially when one took into account our people’s abilities and strengths.
For instance if Vim wanted to… well… force himself of anyone in the Society, I doubted anyone could stop him. If others who were stronger than most desired or wanted to be cruel in such a way there was little those weaker, like Fly, could do to stop them.
I gulped at the thought of my own family. Although they had not outright declared one another as slaves or property… well…
It was the sa thing. The sa cruelty.
The sa evil, just by a different na.
“Are we hiding from Reatti or the sheep?”
Fly and I both jumped at the new voice. We spun, and were greeted by Liina’s odd smirk as she leaned out of one of the Church’s windows.
“Did we wake you? I’m sorry,” I apologized to the grinning cat.
“No. The birds did,” Liina pointed up at the roof, and I nodded in understanding. There was a nest of sparrows or sothing up there, and they were growing noisier with the sunrise. They squawked as if there was a predator nearby. To them that's probably exactly what we were.
“You talked to them already? Didn’t see you…” Fly said as she looked back around the corner, at the crowd.
“No, Jasna told . We’re going to return ho. A few will go to the Bell Church while the rest of us will go back to Lun,” Liina said. She lowered herself against the windowsill and rested upon it; after she updated us she took in a deep breath and yawned. The sight made smile; she was more cat-like than I was.
“How’s Reatti, you think?” I asked her carefully.
“Seems fine. Likely just trying to keep her mind focused, Renn. It’ll only beco a problem if you let it,” Liina said softly.
I wanted to complain and comnt on how… simple she was making it out to be, but I knew better and kept my mouth shut.
“I’m going to go say hi to Wool!” Fly darted off, excited.
About to follow after her, I hesitated and groaned.
“Reatti won’t bla Fly either, Renn. If she does then she’ll at least not act on it. Don’t worry,” Liina said softly.
“You talking to Renn?” a voice from within the church asked. It sounded like Jasna, based on the huff.
“Don’t pack that! I’ll want it on the trip ho!” Liina turned, and then raised her voice as she stepped away from the window. Jasna and Liina went to loudly talking to one another, and in a way that told they really were packing.
Packing…
Taking a deep breath, I decided to just get it over with. I had to. It wasn’t like I could just… ignore and avoid Reatti forever.
“Unless she wants to, that is,” I said softly as I stepped over to the corner of the church and peered around it.
Reatti was with Brandy and the Clothed Woman. The crowd was gone. Or rather, fixated on sothing else. It was now near the house, around Wool. Fly was in the center of it, talking loudly with the… horned woman. Those definitely were sheep horns.
Wonder if she was related to Lughes in any way.
Steeling myself I stepped out from behind the church… and awkwardly approached both the crowd and Reatti.
Who did I go to fist? Wool was interesting. A new face. A new mber, like Fly. Soone who had needed to be saved, and by the looks of it had been. She was all smiles, as were all of the people around her. Everyone seed very excited to be talking to her… a little too excited even. Was it because she was sothing of a happy surprise, or was it more? Did soone know her or sothing?
As I approached, I found I didn’t have to make the decision. Brandy was waving over.
Picking up my pace, I did my best to not notice the way Reatti stared at as I approached. Passing the small crowd, I noted the happy voices as people asked Wool questions, and Fly oddly seed to answer them more than the one they were directed at.
“She’s healing, but the wounds were severe,” Brandy said lightly as I stepped over to the three won. I noted the way Reatti shifted with Brandy’s words.
The Clothed Woman turned a little as I stepped up next to her. It was impossible to tell where she was looking, but I felt it wasn’t she was studying but Reatti.
“Renn, we’ve been given the all clear. We’re all going to head back to the ship, then back to Lun,” Brandy told .
I nodded. “That’s good,” I said.
“It is. I am happy to oblige my duties, but my Lords would beg your leave,” the Clothed Woman said.
Frowning softly at her as Brandy chuckled, I noted the way Reatti shifted again.
Ah. Reatti wasn’t just uncomfortable because of , but because of the Clothed Woman.
Maybe they didn’t like each other.
“Vim’s gotten us wrapped up in the restoration of Lun. He’d like you all to hurry as to help him with it,” Reatti said with a stiff voice.
“Restoration?” I asked.
Reatti nodded, but she didn’t look at . “Typical Vim stuff. He’s promised the Societies… or well the Animalia Guild’s resources in the effort to clean up and rebuild Lun. As to fool the humans and keep their eyes off us,” she explained.
Oh. Wow.
“Makes sense,” I said.
“Regrettably,” the Clothed Woman said.
Brandy chuckled as she nodded. “He’s always quick on his feet. What’ll be interesting to find out is if he’s thought ahead already and has realized how much profit we’ll get from such an endeavor,” Brandy said.
Profit… from charity work…? Likely sothing to do with politics then.
“Which is undoubtedly why he has requested your return, Brandy. So you and the rest of us can deal with it all,” Reatti said.
“Who could bla him?” the Clothed Woman said.
“Right. I’ll get everyone ready,” Brandy said, and stepped away. The mont she did she started barking orders to the group nearby, which all startled and quickly dispersed as to obey.
As she left I realized I was going to have to fend for myself. Brandy had called over… likely for a reason, yet had left already.
Which ant I was to talk to Reatti… Well, not alone. The Clothed Woman was still here.
Looking to the one in question, I frowned as Reatti crossed her arms and glared at the Clothed Woman. “I’ll not hurt her,” Reatti said stiffly.
Huh?
The Clothed Woman shifted a little, and I wondered if that was the gesture of a smirk. “No. You won’t.”
Blinking at the very matter of fact tone coming from the Clothed Woman, I tried to understand what they were talking about.
It was , obviously… and…
The Clothed Woman was protecting ? Or rather ensuring I would be fine? Why?
Reatti huffed, and then looked to . “You and I will be taking Fly and Wool to the Bell church. We’ll be taking a cart,” she said.
Oh. “Okay…” I nodded, unsure of what to say or do. We were going to the Bell Church? I had wanted to go there, so that wasn’t that bad of a thing… but…
An odd silence followed, and Reatti shifted as she grumbled and scratched the side of her head. As if itchy. “Okay,” she said, then stepped away. Walking past as to head for the church, likely to help everyone pack and load the carts as to leave.
Watching her go, I wondered what I was supposed to have said.
“Don’t let her hate bother you Renn. Her hate isn’t worth the blood it boils,” the Clothed Woman said.
Turning to her, I frowned at her words. “I got her brother killed... She has a right to hate ,” I said.
Her white cloth danced as she shook her head. “Who ordered him to wield a spear?” she asked .
I gulped, and wondered if she ant literally or figuratively. Did she know he had a spear in his hand at the mont of his death…? Had soone told her? “Well… Vim, maybe?” I wondered. “But no… Vim doesn’t order anyone to do anything,” I said after a mont.
“Exactly. He chose that life. He chose his death. Her hate is a simple excuse to allow her to overlook her own brother’s faults. Think nothing of her hatred, or her self-pity,” she said.
Shifting a little, I wondered if this was stemming from her religion… or if she was actually trying to keep from hating my own self. Sothing told it was both.
“You speak like Vim sotis,” I said to her.
The Clothed Woman tilted her head, and I swore I saw an odd smile in that gesture. “Why dear, that’s a fine complint. And an interesting one. Usually Vim is much kinder when speaking of such things. He must be more open with you,” she said.
I gulped and shifted. Was he? He actually was kind when talking about such things, she was right… but sotis he spoke in a similar way. Especially when it ca to his weird beliefs concerning free will and such. Vim would let others suffer and die if that was what they themselves desired… so he could be cruel in his own way. Ruthless.
She turned, and was now likely looking at the church and the carts being loaded. It seed everyone was awake now, and excited.
Did it upset her to see people so happy to leave already? Though maybe not… she really did seem to dislike many here, as did they dislike her. I haven’t paid much attention but even I’ve noticed that most here won’t even talk to her.
“They think the creature was a Monarch. Was it?” the Clothed Woman asked.
“I… I don’t know. Fly and her people called it Master Monarch, but the only Monarch I’ve t is Bray, and I have no idea to tell if one’s a Monarch or not,” I said honestly.
“You’ve t Bray?” the Clothed Woman asked.
Woops. That was a weird tone in her voice, even for her. “For only a tiny mont, yes,” I said.
For a long mont she said and did nothing… and I felt so sweat start to gather under all my bandages. It made itchy.
“Did Vim say it was a Monarch?” she asked, and finally looked away from .
“Oh… No. He never said it was, though he never said it wasn’t either,” I said.
“Hm…” she humd and then pointed past , to the carts and wagons. “Watch your tail around her, Renn. She and her brother were weak of mind, but she’s still dangerous in her own way. Especially while you’re injured. I’d join you to make sure you’d be safe, but to do so would only result in more bloodshed… I don’t mind that, but Vim would. And I’m not ready to et my Lords just yet,” she said.
Blinking at the woman covered in white cloth, I wasn’t really sure what to say or think of what she had just said. It was clear what she ant, of course. She felt I wasn’t safe with Reatti. But she couldn’t co with because she wasn’t allowed to go near the Bell Church.
“You’re not allowed to even go near the Bell Church?” I asked her gently.
“Only if I’m willing to fight and kill those who would do the sa to ,” she said plainly.
Great. Right. Vim had said many didn’t like her.
It’s so weird that we could all be a part of the sa Society, yet have such hate and disgust for one another.
“I appreciate the thought, all the sa… If it makes you feel better I promise to not let her hurt , if I can help it. I feel horrible for what happened but… I have much to do,” I said to her, deciding to ignore her statent.
She nodded. “Good.”
Although… an odd conversation, and a little unsettling, I still found myself smiling at the woman in front of .
It seed we were friends. Wonder what I had done to earn her respect in such a way. Especially since she seed to hate so many of us.
“Odds are I’ll not see you again for a few years. Make sure you have so better stories when you next return, Renn. Scars and pain are the tithes of my Lords, but I’d rather you bequeath them from soone else.”
My smile grew as I nodded. “I look forward to seeing you again. Thanks for letting us stay here, I’m sure we were noisy,” I said.
She waved lightly as she turned. “It is fine, in small quantities,” she said softly.
Ah. So she had enjoyed it. Interesting.
Now that I thought of it, she had participated in most things. Every night, while everyone cooked food around that large fire and told stories she had been there. She had never really spoken or laughed, but she had still been there. Sitting with us.
“Goodbye,” I said gently, and wished I was confident enough to hug her. No one had really said it… but I got the feeling she wore those cloths for a reason. They were similar to bandages.
I didn’t want to hug her if it would hurt her.
“May my Lords never find you,” she said as I turned away.
Hesitating a mont, I wasn’t sure what to say to that… but decided it was best to just nod and smile. That had probably been a happy parting saying, coming from her.
Soday I’d need to learn about her Lords…
Approaching the church, I stayed back a bit as everyone went to and fro while loading the carts. The strange boxes they had unloaded were now being reloaded. Even Wool was helping out, joined by Fly.
After a few monts of my staring, I shifted and wished I could help. My right arm was still in the sling, but I felt strong and well enough that I could still be of assistance. My left arm felt rather good today, actually.
“Did you say goodbye to the Clothed Woman, Renn?” Brandy noticed standing indecisively, pausing before going back into the church to grab sothing else.
I nodded. “I did.”
She smiled at in a way that told she was glad to hear it. Which was odd… the Clothed Woman and Brandy seed to be friends, or at least more at ease with each other than the others here… yet as far as I was aware Brandy was a devout believer in the faith of Telmik. The opposing opposite of the Clothed Woman’s.
Maybe they had earned each other’s respect in another way, which let them overlook their differences.
Brandy stepped aside to let Wynn and Herra past, and then stepped over to . I shifted a little, and tried to ignore the looks we got as people passed by while carrying stuff.
“The Bell Church isn’t far. A few days, even on a slow cart,” Brandy said.
Nodding, I wondered if she was trying to be kind. She must know I wanted to go back with them, and really didn’t…
Ignoring Reatti as she walked past, I coughed lightly and shifted uncertainly. “May I ask why ?” I asked quietly.
“Fly asked that you’d go with her,” Brandy said just as quietly.
Fly had? Really? Wonder when that conversation had happened.
“I guess that reason is a good one,” I admitted.
“It is, isn’t it?” Brandy’s smile told she liked what I had said, and how genuine I had been. After all it was true. Fly was my doing, good or bad… and for her to want to join her to her new ho and place, ant a lot. It ant she trusted over anyone else here, for now at least.
“You and Reatti can co back right away after dropping them off. You don’t need to wait around like Vim does,” Brandy then said.
Oh. Right. Vim usually stuck around a bit when sothing like that happened, to make sure all was well. “Is Vim okay, by the way?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t he be?” Brandy asked with a smirk.
I didn’t like that smile. Not that it was ugly, or anything, she was pretty. But it made want to squirm. “Is it so strange a question?” I asked back.
“It is, actually…” Brandy’s smirk died, and I watched as she delved into her mind. Into her mories. “Actually, now that you say that I can’t really think of the last ti anyone has ever asked or I heard soone ask if Vim was okay,” she said after a mont.
“Surely not,” I said softly. Hadn’t he just fought a Monarch not long ago? With Oplar? And who knows what has happened before or since then. Surely at least a few tis in the recent past people should worry for his health, right? If not out of worry for the person himself, at least for their protector? What of the worry for their own selves, due to the possible loss of the one who protected them?
Brandy nodded as she frowned, still lost in thought. “I an it’s not an impossible question, it’s just… well… maybe it’s because everyone left anymore are like us. We haven’t had this many new mbers in such a short ti in years, so everyone just… knows better than to ask it, I guess?” Brandy rambled as she pondered, and I didn’t really like where her mind was going… or where it was.
She really didn’t understand why I’d ask. Rather, she did. She had smirked in a way as to tease over Vim, or rather my feelings for him. Yet beyond that she saw no reason to ask the question. No reason to doubt Vim’s condition, or he himself.
This wasn’t the first ti I had seen such a thought process when it concerned Vim… but it was very startling for it to be so blatant.
I understood no one really worrying over him, since he was their protector. They wanted to believe and have faith in the one who, was supposed to at least, keep them safe. So vocally admitting he might be in danger was not a good thing at all… but still…
There was no way I had been the only one to see the wounds on him that day. Surely they at least questioned it. Even if it was sothing they wouldn’t willingly admit aloud, or dare to say.
Yet no. Brandy shrugged and seed to give up the idea, and tossed it aside with ease. She turned and pointed to the smallest cart, one that Gerald and Magdalena were hooking up a stout horse to. “Your cart. You’ll be taking a few items with you, if anyone tries to steal’em from you make sure to give them hell,” Brandy said, her jubilant tone returning.
“I think I’ll let Reatti handle them, if sothing happens,” I said softly.
“Honestly would be for the best, let her vent so of her anger,” Brandy whispered with a nod.
Right. Great. I hadn’t ant it that way, but sure.
Wool and Fly passed by again, heading back into the church to grab so more items. They were chatting lightly about the clouds above us.
Glancing up, I sighed at the sight of the dark blotches beyond the tree tops. Great. Rain. Storms. While traveling.
Usually I’d not be bothered by such a thing, but right now I was covered in bandages. The dampness was going to itch sothing fierce.
“Spend so ti with her too. Make sure she’s a viable mber, as well you can. I’ll hear your vote when you get back,” Brandy said softly.
Oh. Right. I nodded quickly as I watched Fly and Wool enter the church. Neither had heard Brandy.
“Reatti says she’s fine. A typical air headed sheep, she said, but,” Brandy shrugged.
“Think she’s related to Lughes?” I asked.
Brandy tilted her head, and frowned at . “No? Why? Should she be? Does she know him?” Brandy’s questions, and their quick appearance, made realize I had obviously mistaken the obvious.
“Sorry… It was just a thought, I don’t know if she is or not,” I said.
“Oh… Right. I doubt it. There’re actually quite a few sheep and goats in the Society. Nearly two dozen, as far as I’m aware,” Brandy said.
Really…
Why was that? Why were so so common, yet others so rare?
Had we at one ti all been common? Long ago?
“Brandy! Which cart should we load this one onto?” Wynn waved Brandy over to the carts, he was standing next to Sofia who had a small box in her arms.
“Obviously that one! Really you think we’re sending any of that to those grumps!” Brandy shouted as she stepped away, hurrying to the carts.
Watching her go, I smiled as I watched her hop onto a cart and start pointing at boxes, causing Wynn and others to unload so of the ones they had just loaded. A few of them took them to the cart at the front, the one we’d be taking to the Bell Church.
“She barks orders, without telling anyone in the first place. As if we can read minds,” rit grumbled.
I turned to smile down at my friend, who had a small fruit in her hands. She was munching on it while staring at Brandy and the rest.
“Want to co with us rit?” I asked her.
“To the Bells? No. I don’t mind their religion, but I hate so of the people there. Plus with you and Reatti going, I need to stick with everyone else just in case sothing happens,” rit said.
Oh. Right. With Brom gone… well…
I gulped as I glanced around at those around us.
How many fighters were left?
“Just and Brandy. Lawrence is strong too, but he won’t fight for anyone but himself so he can’t be relied on,” rit said, and not quietly either.
“Were my thoughts that obvious?” I asked.
“I read you as easy as the book,” rit nodded, proud of herself.
I smiled at her and nodded back. Yes. She had been reading that little black book the last few days. “Did you finish it?” I asked.
“Yes. I’ve read it three tis already, and plan to read it again on the trip back, and then I’ll hand it off to whoever wants it next,” rit said.
“You’ve re—read it already?” I asked. It wasn’t that big of a book but that was still a surprise to hear.
She nodded. “Of course, how would I rember it otherwise?”
Well…
“Not everyone is like you Renn. While you’re at the Bell Church you can ask for the second volu, if you’d like to read it. Just bring it back with you to Lun,” rit said.
“Oh? The second volu is there? I’ll ask for it,” I nodded, and planned to do just that. That ant I’d be able to read all of them before leaving Lun.
“When you do read it let watch you. I want to see the parts you cry at,” rit said.
I blinked at her words, and hesitated. “They’re sad stories?” I asked worriedly. Maybe I didn’t want to read them then.
“No. Not entirely. You’ll see.”
Great. Now I would, hopefully they didn’t break my heart. It was already so fragile and right now very bruised.
rit put the rest of the remaining fruit into her mouth, and mumbled sothing I didn’t understand as she ate it. Then she pointed at the house nearby. “Did you say goodbye?” she swallowed and then asked.
I nodded.
“Good. She likes you,” rit said.
I nodded again, though wasn’t sure why.
Fly and Wool went by again. This ti they were carrying pots and pans. Fly smiled at as she passed.
“Earlier before, what’d you say to Brandy to make her weird?” rit then asked.
“Hm? I made Brandy weird?”
She nodded as she wiped her mouth, likely thanks to the fruit’s juices. I didn’t like how I knew exactly what she was talking about… or well, maybe I didn’t.
“She was odd two tis, one because I asked if Wool was related to Lughes, and the other because I asked if Vim was okay or not,” I said to her.
rit paused mid-wipe, and then lowered her arm as she looked up at .
A weird mont of silence ca and went, and then rit smiled at . “You really are a gentle one, Renn.”
Frowning at her, I suddenly realized I was growing annoyed with that comnt. Even though everyone always said it kindly, and for positive reasons… it was really starting to bother .
rit sighed as she lifted her shirt and wiped the rest of her face off. “Really. I think you’re the first one to ask if Vim was okay after a battle in…”
I shifted as rit’s voice trailed off and her shirt lowered, as she frowned and was suddenly upset.
“Fly asked the other day, rit,” I said gently.
rit blinked, and then frowned and shook her head. “I’m trying to think of one of us who has asked such a thing. Soone who has known him for a long ti. Soone who knows better,” rit said.
Soone who has known him for a long ti.
In other words, soone who has been indoctrinated into seeing him not as a person but sothing else.
I let rit ponder it for a mont, but grew tired of waiting. “Well?” I asked, not liking where this was going.
“At least since the kingdom, I think…” she said softly.
Looking away from rit, and the rest of the Society around us, I did my best to keep my disgust from growing anymore than it already had.
“Strange,” rit stated, deciding that was all it was. Strange and nothing else.
“Is him getting hurt really that impossible to consider?” I asked her.
“Not at all. He gets hurt all the ti. But he being hurt isn’t like how we get hurt, so it’s not the sa… When you get back, wait until I’m nearby before you ask him if he’s okay to his face, okay? I want to see his reaction,” rit said.
Although I nodded, I made a ntal promise to myself to ask the question when we were alone. Maybe even after we left Lun.
rit then sighed as she looked upward, to the sky. I followed her gaze and a mont later a far off rumble told there really was a storm on the way. It sounded… very far away. I might not have noticed the sound had I not focused on it.
“Just great. Co on Renn, let’s get this all loaded and out of here. Maybe the rain will wash the stink off, too,” rit said as she headed for the church as to return to helping.
Although I followed her, I did so hesitantly.
Staring at rit’s back as I followed her, I tried my best to not feel disappointed in my friend. For many reasons.
Yet it was that very disappointnt that made realize I had made the right choice in choosing Vim, and not Lun.
Even if I was willing to ignore my failures… even if I was able to ignore my faults…
I couldn’t ignore the fact that… just like at the Sleepy Artist… this place was sowhere I didn’t belong.
I did love it. I loved the city. The people. rit. Brandy. Lamp. I even enjoyed the Clothed Woman, as odd as she was.
Nevertheless…
There were still parts I hated. Parts I couldn’t help but wish were different.
Parts and people I couldn’t help but feel disenchanted with.
Once again I was forced to realize the differences between and the others. Those who I was supposed to be similar to. They weren’t humans. They were my own kind… so why was I so different? Why did I think so differently than they?
Why did their uncaring attitudes bother so much? Why was I so upset over their comnts that they barely noticed?
Entering the church, I joined rit as we went to putting the building back into place. We had moved the pews and pulpits as to make room for the beds and sitting areas. Since most of our stuff was now out of the church, and loaded onto the carts, it was ti to put it back to how we had found it.
rit luckily let help her. She didn’t even seem to mind when I fumbled, or moved slowly thanks to my injuries or bandaged arm. Her willingness to let help her made happy, even if it was just a simple gesture.
Yet even as I worked, and as happy as I was to be allowed to…
The back of my mind wouldn’t let go of the realization. The truth. The terrible reality that I was going to have to really start facing, and accepting. Likely soon.
Once again I had fallen in love with a place I didn’t belong. Once again I found myself needing to leave, before sothing forced to.
It wasn’t good for it to have happened again so quickly. Although Vim and I had gone to several places since leaving Ruvindale, and the Sleepy Artist, this was the first place I had actually considered a location I could live at. The Cathedral in Telmik had been too busy. Too noisy. Though maybe now I’d deal with the amount of people a little better, after spending so much ti here in Lun. And the other locations had been too personal… too tiny, for to find a place with.
Lun was a unique location. One with many different types of people. Even though all were mbers of the Society, there were a few who didn’t get along. Yet they lived with one another. They were copacetic. Willing to overlook their differences and live amongst each other with kindness and camaraderie.
A place that Vim had been betting on. A place that he had hoped, and expected, would be where I’d belong and end up staying.
Which ant there were likely very few other places… very few other locations, which could be possible hos for .
But it wasn’t the realization that I was likely running out of possible places to call a ho… but that it likely had already been decided.
If I couldn’t see eye to eye with the people I lived with, then I either needed to learn to simply accept it… or learn to live alone. Again.
I stayed silent as I worked alongside rit and everyone else. They were all chatting lightly, talking of the weather or their upcoming trip ho… but in reality the world was quiet. Their conversations were gentle things. Their voices low. They were in a hurry, yet not rushing. Brandy hadn’t even barked an order since rit and I had entered the church. The distant rumbling of the storm was the loudest thing, and it was likely sothing that a few of our mbers couldn’t even hear yet. Their senses not strong enough.
But underneath the quiet and gentle world… was turmoil. My heart and mind were clashing, loudly. As if having a screaming match with one another, they were debating and arguing over the thoughts that hurt my soul.
I wasn’t going to be able to live in Lun. I wouldn’t be able to obey their rules. I’d not be able to smile as they voted against my beliefs. At least, not for long.
Which ant… likely… there wasn’t anywhere in the Society for .
Nowhere I belonged.
All because I was gentle in their eyes. Too gentle. For the wrong reasons.
Towards the wrong people.
Like with Amber.
At least this ti I realized it before it was too late.
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