"I’m not that strong, nor am I invincible... You’re so unpredictable, suspicious, and irritable. Of course, I will waver, even doubt myself, but..." She took a deep breath and continued, "When he returned last ti, I was indeed happy at first, but later, when I thought you might never appear again, I felt extrely panicked... It’s true, I do hate you, but that doesn’t an I don’t love you!"
Because love breeds hate, because she loves him, she hates his suspicion, hates his distrust, hates that he repeatedly hurts her heart with childish actions.
Feelings are inherently complicated, especially when she’s facing soone as complex as him.
She doesn’t have the strong will to sort out all her feelings clearly.
The only thing she can be sure of is that if he truly disappeared from her life, she would be deeply saddened.
Yan Sijue’s muscles were intensely tense.
After a long ti, he grabbed her hand and forcefully pulled it away.
Mu Yiliang felt all her strength suddenly vanish, sitting there dazed like a doll that lost all its life force.
Yan Sijue turned around and wrapped her body with the blanket, his voice raspy: "That Sophie wasn’t deliberately sought by , I saw you were jealous, so I intentionally indulged her. I... need enough evidence to dare believe maybe I have a place in your heart."
Mu Yiliang stared at him blankly, almost doubting she was hallucinating.
He awkwardly turned his gaze away, his voice raspy: "Rest early, I’ll go to the next room."
Mu Yiliang finally reacted, clinging to his arm, her eyes pleading.
He clenched his lips, eventually breaking free from her grasp, put on his robe, and turned away.
Mu Yiliang sat wrapped in the blanket for a long ti, her mind replaying his sort-of-explanation.
It seed like, since the wedding, this was the first ti he revealed his inner vulnerability.
Mu Yiliang suddenly rembered long ago, when they hadn’t co together yet, she rejected him ti and again, so when she finally told him she’d fallen in love with him, he was reluctant to believe it.
At that ti, he didn’t completely disbelieve her; it was just that his fragile heart needed ample evidence to truly believe, rather than doubting her, he was doubting himself.
She smiled bitterly, both helpless and heartbroken. But the resentnt in her heart eventually evaporated.
How could she truly bear to hate him?
...
The following day, when Mu Yiliang got up, she noticed the servants looked at her sowhat differently.
Confused, Mu Yiliang glanced at Ada for an explanation.
Ada dared not delay and quickly explained in a low voice: "Sir instructed that if Sophie cos close to him again, she’ll be dismissed imdiately. Also, Sir said you are the mistress of the manor, having absolute authority over personnel decisions. Anyone, including myself, if you’re displeased with them, you can fire them and select more suitable replacents."
Mu Yiliang was stunned.
She recalled her accusations against Yan Sijue last night; perhaps he took them to heart, leading to this decision?
"Madam, yesterday... was my fault." Ada pursed her lips, "If you feel Sophie is unsuitable, I’ll inform her to leave right away."
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