Having finished speaking, Su Yaoqi turned around, but Song Yuanbao grabbed his arm. "Can you tell , why did you decide to beco a monk back then? As a noble scion, without having experienced major upheavals or disasters, I don’t believe you truly saw through the mortal world. Is there so hidden story? Or do you have any unfulfilled wishes? Tell , I’ll help you."
Hearing the phrase "I’ll help you," Su Yaoqi’s eyes appeared montarily lost.
"Speak up!" Song Yuanbao shook his arm.
Su Yaoqi pressed his palms together, "Entering monastic life was a matter of the heart, unrelated to birth or experience."
"I don’t believe it." Song Yuanbao stared into his eyes. It was clear he couldn’t reclaim the carefree innocence of the fourth young master Su from the past. Yet, he was unwilling to give up. "Is it because of my mother...?"
Su Yaoqi spoke out to stop him, "It’s unrelated to anyone."
How could it be unrelated to anyone?
Song Yuanbao thought of the young man who first fell for Wen Wan, and then looked at his current worldly aversion and felt uncomfortable. "I rember you said back then that you wanted to pass the imperial exam with your ability and beco a good and upright official. Have you forgotten all that?"
Su Yaoqi didn’t reply, "The master is still preaching in the hall. If you have no further business, may I take my leave?"
Song Yuanbao’s hand, clasping Su Yaoqi’s arm, was removed.
He stood there dazedly, watching Su Yaoqi walk through the main door, just about to follow when Zhao Xi suddenly erged from inside.
Seeing Song Yuanbao, Zhao Xi seed unsurprised, "Since you’re here, aren’t you planning to co inside and listen?"
Song Yuanbao remained unmoving, his expression sowhat vacant, "Did Your Highness already know he had taken the vows?"
Zhao Xi didn’t deny it, "He is a monastic. Since he doesn’t plan to renounce the path, what difference does it make whether he shaves his head or leaves his hair? It’s just a difference in appearance and doesn’t affect his inner nature."
Zhao Xi had co out on the pretense of doing so, mindful that the teaching was still in progress inside, hence he couldn’t linger too long outside. He asked Song Yuanbao, "So, do you want to go in?"
"I don’t want to." Song Yuanbao felt uncomfortable seeing Su Yaoqi’s state.
The ti spent with Su Yaoqi wasn’t long, but the impression he left on Song Yuanbao wasn’t bad. He considered him a friend, especially during their studies together at the Imperial College, where they got along quite harmoniously beyond family feuds.
Now, the carefree young man had beco a bald monk accepting the Buddhist vows, reminding him that everyone can never return to the past.
Song Yuanbao couldn’t quite describe the feeling—perhaps it’s lancholy, perhaps it’s loss, or maybe it’s both.
Zhao Xi noticed his low spirits, "I might take a while to finish here. You should go to the Divine Soldier Bureau and ask Song Sicheng if there’s anything you can help with."
Song Yuanbao muttered quietly, "I’m just temporarily unable to accept it. I wouldn’t go to extres and hang myself, so why send so far away?"
Zhao Xi said nothing, simply watching him.
Song Yuanbao: "Alright, alright, I’ll go. Isn’t that enough?"
...
Song Yuanbao didn’t return to Yutang Palace, and went directly to the Divine Soldier Bureau.
Seeing him alone, Song Wei questioned with a hint of confusion, "Where’s Your Highness?"
Song Yuanbao said, "I t Su Yaoqi in the palace earlier."
Song Wei acknowledged, "Master Xu Yun was invited to the palace to preach. It’s not surprising for Su Yaoqi, being his disciple, to follow."
"But he shaved his head." Song Yuanbao felt quite uneasy. "Wasn’t it agreed he would leave his hair as he practiced? I was even waiting for him to return to secular life and take the imperial exams together."
On this point, Song Wei was a little surprised.
The last ti he took Wanwan to Fahua Temple for the second ti, Su Yaoqi still kept his hair while practicing. Now, less than half a year later, he had shaved it.
Yet, recalling the experiences of Abbot Cunxin, Song Wei thought it wasn’t significant.
"Su Yaoqi isn’t suited to stay in the Su Family; his monastic life first cos from inner calling, second because the Buddhist path is his best ho."
"Father, you speak too much like a Buddhist." Song Yuanbao completely disagreed, "Leaving aside whether he can return, based on what he told in the past, it’s impossible to believe he beca a monk without reason."
"You’re not him; how do you know he didn’t?"
"Intuition."
"To remain calm and composed after being disfigured in a fire indicates a genuine enlightennt; hence, considering monastic life is quite normal. However, if I’m correct, soday he might return to secular life for various reasons."
"Really?" Song Yuanbao’s face was full of astonishnt, "But he’s already shaved his head and taken vows, how could he? Is it because his parents objected so strongly they forced him back?"
"Just a speculation."
Abbot Cunxin, whose entire family was wiped out, remained as the sole survivor and returned to secular life. Such pain must be unimaginable.
If Su Yaoqi repeats that fate, then the Su Family might have sothing happening in the future.
Song Wei quelled his thoughts and didn’t think further.
These words weren’t suitable for Song Yuanbao, so Song Wei kept silent, finding an excuse to take him to see the twelve chanical beast models crafted by the artisans.
...
The Buddhist teachings at Chonghua Hall finished in the afternoon.
As Su Yaoqi was leaving the main door, Empress Su intercepted him.
"Little Four."
Empress Su frowned, evidently displeased, her gaze fixed firmly on him. "Why have you turned yourself into this?"
Su Yaoqi stood quietly, not responding.
"Does your father and mother know about you shaving your head?" Empress Su pursued the question.
"Since even the Empress knows, they will soon receive the news."
Su Yaoqi’s answer was void of emotion, sowhat detached.
Empress Su pursed her lips, "I always thought that you were rely speaking out of youthful ignorance, and that before long you’d be back."
Who would have thought the Su Family actually sent a son into the Buddhist path this ti; what open-hearted brothers and sisters-in-law.
Su Yaoqi didn’t know how to respond to Empress Su’s words. Everyone believed he should remain in the Su Family, continue being the young master, continue being doted upon by his parents, but no one ever asked if he wanted that life, if he wanted to be that fourth young master of Su.
Whether he was kidnapped or fell from a horse, or even got burnt and disfigured, he had little resentnt. His heart simply housed the Buddha, wishing to follow his true heart.
Seeing him silent, Empress Su proposed, "Okay, co with to Kunning Palace first. I’ll send word to Duke Mansion, bring your parents here, then if they bla you, your aunt can diate sowhat. Otherwise, if they storm into Fahua Temple, it won’t end well for you. What do you think?"
Su Yaoqi raised his eyes, glanced at his waiting master ahead, then inford him, and followed Empress Su back to the palace.
...
The Su Family was close to the Imperial City. After a stick of incense’s ti, Duke Su and his wife appeared at Empress Su’s Kunning Palace.
Entering and seeing their son’s state, the Duchess felt waves of dizziness beset her, nearly fainting on the spot.
Duke Su’s face turned awkward, his hawk-like eyes landing on his son’s bald head, asking, "Little Four, where is your hair?"
Su Yaoqi remained silent.
"Little Four!" Duke Su called him again, "Speak."
Su Yaoqi turned to his parents and knelt, "I have shaved my head and beco a monk."
"How did you promise the old man then?" Had it been any other son angering him like this, Duke Su would surely grab him and deliver a stern scolding, but the one before him was Little Four, the son he raised with utmost care, he couldn’t bear it.
Su Yaoqi wasn’t intimidated by the Duke’s imposing manner, "I will not return to secular life. Shaving the head and practicing without are no different."
"Then why not practice without shaving?"
"As a disciple of Buddhism, the rules of the monastic order must be followed. Purity is a prerequisite for entry."
Duke Su nearly spat blood, "Are you trying to anger to death?"
"Little Four." The Duchess approached, intending to help her son up.
Su Yaoqi remained kneeling, unmoving.
"Good child, listen to your mother and don’t be foolish." The Duchess wiped her tears, trying to persuade softly, "Let’s not beco a monk, co back to secular life. Whoever you want to marry, I’ll let you marry them. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you, okay?"
Su Yaoqi felt helpless, lifting his head, "Mother, didn’t we originally agree that I could enter the monastic path? Why have you all changed your minds now?"
"But back then, your father agreed to let you practice without shaving, he didn’t let you shave your head."
"Even without shaving, I can’t possibly return to secular life." Su Yaoqi’s stance was firm, "You should stop persuading . Shaving was my choice. If according to your wishes, I return, marry, and have children, I might be despondent for a lifeti."
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