“Hahaha! Is this all you’ve got? Pathetic!” I keep laughing, mocking the dead player below my feet.
What am I doing, you ask?
Well, I’m doing what any self-proclaid mad scientist would do. When defeated, you must run away in the most obnoxiously annoying way imaginable, but when you win and defeat your opponents, you instead must make sure to mock them to no end, proclaiming bullshit like ‘It was easy’ or ‘You’ll be perfect test subjects’, ideally in an even more annoying way than when you run away.
And that’s what I’m doing: mocking the dead opponent of our second bracket match.
I hope the dead players have stayed in his fantasmal form and are now gritting their teeth in annoyance… That’s my purpose for doing this, after all.
“Ahaha, all that ‘clairvoyance’ stuff… What use was it, huh? Useless bullshit. And here I was, expecting so much of you… Give back my excitent!”
In the middle of poking the dead body with my staff, Ricard approaches and interrupts my ‘victory monologue’.
“What are you doing? Stop wasting ti. Rember, we must catch the one that escaped to win.”
“Yeah, yeah…”
I reluctantly leave the corpse alone and start walking towards the laboratory door. I say reluctantly, but in fact… “Well, well, well… Since there’s a rat in our dungeon, what could be more fitting than another rat going to catch it? An elephant-riding rat, of course! Fufufu! Hahaha!”
Since we’ve long revealed the presence of my ultimate weapon, the Abohemoth, there’s no need to keep it hidden. We can now freely use my monster as we please.
And DON’T remind of the na change, okay!? I’ll get angry if you do.
“Wait. I’ll co with you.”
“Hm? Sure.”
Ricard starts walking next to , towards the deepest part of our dungeon, where the Abohemoth lies.
Ooh, yeah. I’m sure you’re curious about it. Our opponents this ti are – or should I say ‘were’? – called Ti Lords. According to our intelligence official, Ricard, right next to , the reason for that na cos from certain traits each of their mbers has.
First, the ‘Untouchable Jin’.
According to Ricard, nobody has ever landed a single attack on him throughout the whole tournant. To be more precise, he avoids any weapon and arrows, as well as single-target magic, as if he could predict the trajectory ahead of ti.
As expected, though, his ‘untouchable’ status doesn’t extend to autotargeting spells like Magic Missiles, wide area of effect ones like Poison Cloud, or unavoidable effects like Chain Lightning’s jumps after the initial hit.
If I had to judge from what I’ve seen… Yeah, I agree with his nickna.
The ‘Untouchable’ nickna sure fits him, but not for the reason Ricard gave us. As soon as he even slled a tiny bit of danger, he bolted away. To put it in other words, he didn’t take any damage. Thus, he’s ‘Untouched’.
If you always run away, it’s not unusual if you take no damage.
Still, I wonder if he’ll be able to keep that nickna after this fight. I want to see how he avoids a strike from my massive monster when the whole passage is filled by it and there’s no space to dodge… I’m looking forward to it.
Then there’s the ‘Surestrike Tom’, whose sword strikes never miss. Like the first guy, it’s almost as if he can predict your moves ahead of ti, as if your ti slows down, unable to avoid his strikes, regardless of how he swings his sword.
But sotis, the matchup matters more than your skills.
He had to face Ricard, who doesn’t care at all if he takes damage. Having to face an unrelenting self-healing undead, who doesn’t die regardless of how much damage he takes…
Truly, an awful matchup. I kind of pity him, though not that much.
Then, the third one, the one I was mocking at the start: the ‘Seer Ron’. As you can imagine by his nickna, he’s the party’s brain, and he can see the future. Or at least, that’s what everyone says.
His plans aren’t on the level of a genius, but on the level of soone who knows everything.
No, it’s even more than that. They’re on the level of soone who ‘knows the future’.
Unexpected plans and monster attacks, traps, puzzles, and random events alike. He doesn’t make assumptions or predictions as most players do, but instead acts as if he already knew of their existence.
A missing puzzle key piece? He knows where to find it, even if no one else has ever found it. Not only that, but he also knows what shape and colour it has.
A random teor falling from the sky? He makes the whole party stop, even before the teor spawns. The teor falls without harming anyone, and they resu the invasion as if nothing had happened.
An unavoidable room filled with poison gas? He orders a poison-immune support mob he prepared before the match started to step inside and deactivate the device spewing the poison, clearing the way for everyone else.
Truly, truly, ridiculous. I still can’t believe so of the things I’ve seen in the replays.
As for the fourth and last guy…
To tell the truth, I don’t know. I’m sure Ricard told us about him, too, but since he didn’t co to our dungeon and must be facing Clara and Laura inside their dungeon, I completely deleted all the information I had about him from my brain as soon as I found out it didn’t matter…
…to make space for more important stuff, of course.
Stuff like the exact white tone of the eyes of the players’ corpses we just defeated, or the despairing expressions they were making at the mont of death.
Anyway, I’m digressing.
What matters is that, since all of them act like they could see the future or alter ti in one way or another, they call themselves the Ti Lords. And they truly are one of the most tricky teams I’ve ever seen, especially the ‘Seer’ guy.
There were even players who accused them of using hacks… Though the DMA staff, despite checking, couldn’t find anything.
So, I’m sure you’re asking yourselves a question right now: ‘If they know the future, how could we defeat them?’.
The answer is actually very simple. It’s because ‘knowing the future’ and ‘being able to change it’ are two completely different matters.
Knowing they would predict everything, we set up an unavoidable trap. We put everything – except for the Abohemoth, because it’s too big – in the sa room, leaving most of the dungeon empty. We prepared an unavoidable death trap for anyone who dared to step inside, and left them no option but to co inside voluntarily.
How we did it, you ask?
It’s all thanks to the key to open the dungeon core room. Placing it inside the trap room, too, the Ti Lords had no option but to co, fully knowing the consequences.
So, to recapitulate. They knew it was a trap. We knew they knew it was a trap. The audience knew it was a trap, and they knew we knew our opponents knew it was a trap… EVERYONE knew it was a trap, even the braindead Stitched, excitedly waiting for my return inside my dungeon.
But knowing it was a trap didn’t matter, because to reach the dungeon core, they had to get the key to open the door, and I have been holding it all along, even right now.
That’s how we killed the feared ‘Seer’ and ‘Surestrike’ players, and are now on our way to deal with the ‘Untouchable’.
Alright, alright, I know… I’m sure you’re curious. I’ll show you how everything went.
Flashback. Start!
“Welco! Welco, dear invaders, hahaha!”
I happily laugh, opening my arms to welco them. The ‘’ in the large screen, right behind , does the sa pose, repeating the sa words. But this ti the purpose isn’t to confuse them, but to annoy them, to make them more prone to make mistakes.
I observe as the three players and their support mobs co into the laboratory, chuckling and provoking them with my words.
“Did you enjoy the dungeon tour? Nah, there’s no need to reply. I’m sure you did, didn’t you? Hahaha!”
They look around, searching for dangers. They know this is a trap, but they won’t see what they’re looking for. Everything’s hidden.
“But this is just a taste of what I can give you. If you want the full experience, co to , co to my dungeon! Co to The Mad Rat’s Lab! Open 24/7, 365 days a year, you’re welco wherever you co!” Then I add, in a lower voice. “No reimbursents or complaints accepted.”
An awkward silence follows my words. As much as I like players who allow you to finish your monologues instead of rudely interrupting, not reacting whatsoever after finishing never feels great.
“Khm! Alright, alright… We know why everyone’s here. So, without further ado…” I make a dramatic pause. “... Let the deadly trap begin! Fufufu! Hahaha!”
I press the big red button in front of , and the room cos alive.
Sirens blare, and the doors to the laboratory start closing. Right at this ti, two of the players exchange a look and nod, and one of the three leaves through a closing door, leaving his team behind.
That’s unexpected… Oh, well. He can’t do anything on his own. Not as long as I have the key with …
Just in case, I check that the key is still with , and surely enough, it’s safely hanging on my neck.
Why did that guy, Untouchable, abandon his teammates, then…? Oh well. Who cares.
Following the sirens, several black pylons pop from the ground and walls, another door opens, releasing a wave of monsters, and five holes appear on the ceiling, followed by the fall of five ‘’s.
“Uaaah! Save ee!”
“Iaaaah– gufu!”
“Aah, my butt hurts…”
“Aai, momma!”
“Is this… is this how you clones treat the real !? I demand retribution!”
“The ‘real’ ? What are you saying? I’m the real one!”
“No, it’s . eeee!”
“Haah… Bunch of useless clones…”
I watch as my clones start to argue amongst themselves with my mouth wide open; the sa holds true for our opponents.
“Ugh… Why are my clones so stupid…?” I rub my temples.
Ah, right. It’s because they’re controlled by AI, and I programd them. I sotis forget about it.
Luckily, their purpose is achieved, and Surestrike-whatever loses his temper. In the middle of the chaos, where my monsters and theirs start fighting, and The Dark Horde starts pouring like rain from the ceiling, aiming for lucky debuffs, Surestrike ignores everything to go kill one of my clones.
He swings his sword and, true to his nickna, the attack hits its target. Well, it’s more like my clone doesn’t even have the thought of evading his sword. Regardless, it hits its target.
“Ugh. He got !” My clone dramatically drops to the ground; its HP is still close to full. “Avenge , my clones…!”
“Clone my ass! You’re the clone!”
“No, you’re the clone!”
The ‘dead’ clone stands up and starts arguing with the others, completely forgetting the fact that he was pretending to die less than five seconds ago.
To no one’s surprise, the scene confuses Surestrike. He blinks, trying to make sense of what’s happening around him. My clones’ actions make even , who planned and designed this all along, get a headache. It’s no surprise he doesn’t know what to do.
And right at that mont…
“Dark Grab!”
Ricard appears from behind a large machine and pulls Surestrike towards him. Then, giving him no ti to react, Ricard draws a lever, and the two of them fall through another hole. Below, a room filled with water and undead fish awaits.
Surestrike isn’t ‘untouchable’, that’s why this worked.
“Hahaha!” I chuckle. This ti, it’s the real . “Have a nice swim with the fishes!”
From the three players, the only one I had to be wary of was Surestrike. A mage isn’t good at dealing with a high-skilled, unavoidable assassin. But now that he’s gone, I can proceed with the rest of my plan unimpeded.
Furthermore, Surestrike has no chance of beating Ricard in a one vs many fight, who has ridiculous resilience. Not when having his speed reduced for being underwater, on top of that.
Now, I should focus on my prey.
I press a few more buttons near , unbothered by the ongoing chaos. As I press them, more and more traps start to activate.
A large tallic roller pin filled with spikes starts to obliterate anything on its path. Following that, arrows and poison clouds drop from the ceilings and walls, indiscriminately harming anything on their path.
Fire bursts from the ground, igniting several monsters. They start to run around in panic, spreading the flas even further.
Monsters die in swathes, but I keep pressing buttons, ignoring everything else around .
At this rate, there won’t be anything remaining after this battle. But I don’t care.
Only I may stand.
“Alright, fools!” I call my clone’s attention. “Does it matter who’s the real or not? No, right? What matters is that we have prey in front of us. Are we going to let him go!?” I say, pointing towards Seer, who’s desperately giving his and his teammate’s support monsters orders.
“No!”
Several clones reply at the sa ti.
“Then, everyone with …!” “““CHAIN LIGHTNING!”””
Multiple voices overlap, and the chaotic laboratory is flooded by a sudden wave of electricity. It’s all aid at a single target: the guy who calls himself ‘Seer’.
“Let’s see how you avoid this, guy who can see the future!”
Tell . Did you see this coming?
Fufufu. Hahaha!
What can I say? I thrive in chaos.
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