Chapter 111: I’ll Stand By You
(MAYA)
Hours later, I finally make my way to the room they’ve prepared for
in the east wing of the palace. It is spacious and elegant, with a large four-poster bed, a sitting area, and a private bathroom. Floor-to-ceiling windows open onto a balcony that overlooks the palace gardens.
It’s beautiful and entirely too much. I drop my bag on the bed and head straight for the shower, hoping the hot water will wash away so of the tension from my body. It doesn’t.
After changing into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, I check my phone. Two ssages from Mathew, confirming his arrival early tomorrow. I send a quick reply, instructing him to et
at the lab at nine in the morning.
Despite the exhaustion weighing on my limbs, sleep eludes . I toss and turn, my mind racing with the events of the day. Griffin’s words echo in my head, along with Jerry’s revelation about the reopened investigation. Could it be true that Griffin never received the ssage? Would he have co if he had known?
I sit up, punching my pillow in frustration.
It doesn’t matter. Even if he didn’t know about my mother, he still chose Aria over . He still said those words.
Unable to lie still any longer, I throw back the covers and make my way out onto the balcony. The night air is cool against my skin, the sky clear and filled with stars. I lean against the railing, drinking in the familiar sight of the palace grounds stretching out before .
My gaze falls on a bottle of wine, a corkscrew, and two stemd glasses sitting on a small table in the corner of the balcony. Soone, probably a well-aning staff mber, has clearly left them there for . I hesitate only briefly before opening the wine and pouring myself a generous glass.
The first sip burns going down, but the second is smoother. By the third, I feel so of the tension easing from my shoulders. Alcohol has beco my closest companion these past six months—the only thing that seems to dull the constant ache in my chest.
I take another long drink, letting the wine warm
from the inside. My thoughts drift to Griffin, to the softness in his eyes when he said he was glad I was here. To the pain in his expression.
I drain my glass and fill it again, moving to sit in one of the balcony chairs. The palace is quiet, most of its inhabitants asleep. In the stillness, I can almost pretend that the last six months never happened. That my mother is still alive, that Griffin and I are still—
No. I shake my head and take another sip. That life is gone. That Maya is gone. All that remains is the work, the science, the antidote.
I’m halfway through my third glass when a movent catches my eye. A figure erges on the neighboring balcony, tall, broad-shouldered, unmistakable.
Griffin.
Our eyes et across the short distance separating our balconies. Of course, they would put
next to him. Of course. Before I can look away, he vaults over the railing separating our balconies, landing gracefully on mine. I rise to my feet, wine sloshing over the rim of my glass.
"What are you doing?" I demand.
His gaze drops to the glass in my hand, then to the half-empty bottle on the table. Without a word, he crosses the balcony, takes the glass from my hand, and hurls it over the railing. The bottle follows, both shattering sowhere in the darkness below.
I stare at him, montarily speechless with shock and anger. "How dare you!"
"I’ll dare a lot more than that," Griffin says, his voice quiet but firm. "I’m not going to stand by and watch you destroy yourself."
"I’m not destroying myself," I retort. "I’m having a glass of wine. A normal, adult activity that is absolutely none of your business."
"It wasn’t just one," he counters. "You think I don’t know how much you’ve been drinking?" Heat floods my cheeks. "You should learn to mind your own business."
"This is my business, Maya." He steps closer, his eyes intense. "You are my business."
"No, I’m not." I push past him, heading back into my room. "I stopped being your anything the mont you decided I wasn’t worthy enough to be your mate."
He follows
inside. "That’s not what happened."
"I don’t care what happened!" I whirl to face him. "I don’t care what you have to say. I just want you to leave
alone."
"I can’t do that."
"Why not?" I demand, my voice rising. "What do you want from , Griffin? I’m here, aren’t I? I’m going to make your antidote. What more do you want?"
"I want you to stop punishing yourself for sothing that wasn’t your fault." His voice is gentle now, his eyes soft with concern. "I want you to grow up and realize that there are people who care about you, people who love you, people who have been going out of their minds with worry for the past six months."
His words cut deeper than I want to admit. "Get out," I whisper. "Maya—"
"Get out!" I shout, pushing against his chest with all my strength.
He barely moves. "There is nobody I care about anymore. Nobody. So, just leave
alone."
"Not even ?"
The new voice startles us both. I turn to find Corrine standing in the doorway, her eyes wide and hurt. My breath catches in my throat. "Corrine."
Griffin looks between us, then nods. "I’ll leave you two alone." He passes Corrine on his way out, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder before disappearing down the hall.
For a long mont, Corrine and I just stare at each other. She looks the sa, beautiful and elegant, her long, dark hair cascading down her back, yet different. Or maybe it’s . Maybe I’m the one who’s different now, more than just a little bit broken.
"Hi, Maya," she says softly.
I try to hold on to my anger, my coldness, but this is Corrine, my best friend, the sister of my heart. "Hi." She crosses the room slowly, as if afraid I might bolt. "You look terrible."
A startled laugh escapes . "Thanks."
"I an it." She stops in front of , her eyes searching my face. "You’re too thin. There are shadows under your eyes. And you reek of alcohol."
I look away. "It has been a rough six months."
"It has," she agrees. Then, without warning, she throws her arms around , pulling
close. "God, I’ve missed you."
I stand stiffly in her embrace, trying to maintain the distance I’ve cultivated for so long. But my resistance crumbles, and my arms wrap around her, holding on tight as if she might evaporate.
"Why did you leave without saying goodbye?" she whispers, her voice thick with tears. "Why didn’t you co to ? I would have taken care of you, Maya. I would have helped you."
"I didn’t need help." I try to keep my voice from quivering. "I’m fine."
"You’re a liar, that’s what you are. You’re a ss, Maya. You’re a complete ss, and even if no one else can see it, I can.
How could you let yourself get to this point?!"
The dam breaks. All the grief, all the pain, and all the loneliness of the past six months co rushing out in a torrent of tears. I cling to my friend, my face dampening her shoulder.
"I’m sorry." My voice cracks. "I’m so sorry. I couldn’t—I couldn’t stay. Not after Mom. Not after Griffin. I just couldn’t."
"Shh, it’s okay." Corrine strokes my hair, her tears falling on my shoulder. "It’s okay. I’m here now."
We sink to the floor together, still locked in our embrace. Corrine rocks
gently, murmuring soothing words as I cry until I have no tears left.
"I miss her so much," I whisper, my voice raw. "Every day. Every single day."
"I know." Corrine pulls back slightly, wiping tears from my cheeks with her thumbs. "I miss her, too. She was like a mother to ."
"I keep thinking about all the things I’ll never get to tell her," I say, the words spilling out. "All the monts she’ll miss.
She’ll never see
get married, or have children, or..." Corrine nods, understanding. "It’s not fair."
"Nothing’s fair," I say, the bitterness creeping back into my voice. "Life isn’t fair."
"No, it’s not," she agrees. "But that doesn’t an we give up on it. That doesn’t an we stop living it."
I pull away, wiping at my face. "I don’t know how to do this, Corrine. I don’t know how to be here, surrounded by all these mories."
"You don’t have to figure it all out at once," she says gently. "Just take it one day at a ti. Focus on the antidote. Let the rest sort itself out."
I shake my head. "I can’t stay here after the antidote is finished. I can’t."
Corrine takes my hands in hers. "Then co to the North with . Co play auntie to my two little monsters. Finn asks about you all the ti, you know. ’Where’s Maya? When is Maya coming to visit?"
The thought of Corrine’s children brings a fresh wave of tears. A small laugh escapes , watery and weak but genuine. "I’ve missed Finn. I’ve missed you."
"Then co with
when this is all over," she says, squeezing my hands. "You don’t have to decide now. Just know that the option is there. You’re not alone, Maya. You’ve never been alone."
I nod, too overwheld to speak. Corrine seems to understand. She pulls
into another hug, and for a while, we just sit there on the floor, holding each other.
"You should get so sleep," she says eventually. "You look exhausted."
"I don’t think I can," I admit. "Every ti I close my eyes—"
"I’ll stay with you," Corrine offers. "We’ll have a slumber party. It’ll be like when we were broke and only had one bed." Her words, the ntion of a simpler ti, bring fresh tears to my eyes. "You don’t have to do that."
"I want to." She stands, pulling
to my feet with her. "Co on."
I allow her to lead
to the bed, suddenly too tired to resist. She helps
under the covers, then kicks off her shoes and climbs in beside , wrapping her arms around
like a protective shield.
"Get so rest," she whispers. "I’ve got you."
For the first ti in six months, I feel safe. Protected. Not alone. Sleep cos quickly, pulling
under in a dark, dreamless embrace.
***
I wake to sunlight streaming through the windows and the sound of soft breathing beside . For a mont, I’m disoriented, unsure of where I am. Then the mories of the previous day flood back, the lab, Griffin, Corrine. The tears.
Corrine is still asleep beside , her dark hair spread across the pillow like a halo. She looks peaceful, the stress lines that had marked her face last night smoothed away in slumber.
I slip out of bed carefully, not wanting to wake her. My head pounds with the beginning of a hangover, but it’s mild compared to what I’m used to. I make my way to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face.
The woman who stares back at
from the mirror is almost unrecognizable. Pale, gaunt, with dark circles under her eyes. Corrine was right, I do look terrible. I’ve lost too much weight, and my hair has lost its shine, hanging limp and dull around my face.
A wave of sha washes over . What would Mom think if she could see
now? My sweet mother would be heartbroken to witness her daughter living like this, a shell of herself, drowning her grief in alcohol.
"Rough night?"
I turn to find Corrine standing in the bathroom doorway, her hair tousled from sleep, her eyes concerned. "Sothing like that," I mutter, turning back to the mirror.
"How’s your head?" she asks, coming to stand beside . "It’s been worse."
Corrine sighs, resting her hand on my shoulder. "You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Maya. Your mom wouldn’t want this for you."
"I know," I whisper, the words sticking in my throat. "But I see no future, no one in it. Everywhere I look, it’s just , by myself. It was always Mom and , but now...She died in there, Corrine, alone, scared, and it haunts . God, it doesn’t stop." "It will." Corrine forces
to look at her. "It will once Griffin finds the culprits and punishes them. Once they pay for what they did, your heart will feel at ease."
I give her a weak smile. "I don’t think Griffin is really looking into the matter. He’s just trying to say anything he can to get
to stay and work on the antidote. I was a fool once. I won’t be one again."
My friend leans against . "You don’t know how ssed up Griffin has been."
"Everybody keeps saying that!" I burst out. "He’s the one who chose Aria, Corrine. You saw them. He sent
a dress, wrote all sorts of fake promises. He wanted to humiliate . That’s all. He was the one who kept harping on about the fated mate crap. I didn’t even want to be a fated mate. And once he had
well fucked and falling for him, he decided to discard , to throw
away like I was nothing. Fine, maybe he couldn’t co back, maybe he never got the ssage, but he still, Why did he have to break my heart? I didn’t deserve to be treated like that! I did nothing to him. He should have just stayed away from —"
Leana covers my mouth, stopping . "There are so things you don’t know, Maya."
I lower her hand, feeling myself deflate. Letting out a heavy sigh, I admit, "Maybe. But it doesn’t matter now, does it?"
"Are you sure you believe that?" She lifts one eyebrow.
"It doesn’t matter, Corrine. His reasons don’t matter. The fact is that I’m just tired of everything. I don’t want him coming back into my life and throwing things off course. I’m fine with my life the way it is."
"But are you happy?"
My friend’s question makes
smile bitterly. "Why does that matter?"
"It matters to ," Corrine leads
back into the room and sits
down on the edge of the bed. "It would’ve mattered to you mother."
I look away, and she sits down beside , holding my hands. "Here’s what I think happened. He broke your heart because, like my Locke, he’s an idiot most of the ti. When Helen died, you needed him, and he wasn’t there, and that broke sothing else in you because you had begun to trust him."
I pull my hands away from her. "That’s a fun story, Corrine, but I have things to do. I need to get to work, and you—" I pause, knowing how harsh my tone just was. "You should go ho to your family. Stop wasting your ti on . I’m happy I got to see you, but your life and mine are very different, and I just—Don’t let
fuck up your life, too, okay? I want you to be happy and safe. Go ho."
Saying that, I leave my quarters, feeling a dull headache throbbing between my ears.
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