When Avi and Luna entered the recreational room, most of the lights on Luna's spaceship were turned off. There was no sign of Virka there.
“She must be waiting in her room.” - Avi said, then moved to the hallway and knocked at the door to Virka's room. - “Virka?” - She couldn't hear any reply. - “I'm coming in...”
Avi looked around, but Virka wasn't there either. She could only notice empty, scattered, and shattered wine bottles and a glass on her desk, under which was a folded paper. Unsure what it ant, she moved the glass and read the ssage, her eyes widening.
“I'm... sorry. Even if it was for a short ti, I'm grateful that I could be your friend. Please, warn the astronauts for .”
“Luna!” - Avi shouted, and her friend appeared at the door in a flash.
“What happened?” - She asked.
“Find Virka, fast!” - Avi pleaded with teary eyes.
Even if she still didn't understand what it was about, Luna wouldn't wait. She could read how desperate Avi was, and that was enough for her to turn into a sphere and search the entire ship faster than lightning.
“Avi! Here!” - Luna shouted right away.
Avi ran up to Luna, finding Aurora in front of the bathroom, scratching the locked door.
“Move back, I'm going to force them open.” - Luna warned.
When Luna broke the lock, Avi covered her mouth, and tears rolled down her cheeks. Virka was lying in a pool of blood, there was a shard of glass next to her hand, and the shower poured warm water over her.
Luna didn't hesitate. She leaned over Virka in a hurry, checking her pulse. - “She's alive! Out of my way!” - She signaled as she lifted Virka's body, then carried her out and locked themselves in a dical room.
Avi hastily followed, yet she could do nothing but wait outside and attempt to wipe her tears. Aurora tried to console her, even if it didn't cheer the girl in any way. Only when Luna ca out of the room, Avi imdiately jolted upright, asking. - “Is Virka alright?”
“She rests.” - Luna replied. - “I have her under my observation, so don't worry.”
“Why? Why would she do that?” - Avi asked in a trembling, choking tone.
“I don't know, we should give her so ti.” - Luna replied. - “The questions can wait, at least until morning.”
---
My muted scream, strangled by the dark. Why was I still there, even when my mind was fading away? Am I dead, or replaced by soone or sothing that was no longer ?
The dawn hadn't co yet. Consud by this nightmare, I was counting days, knowing that I had lost soone important to irrecoverably, but my vanishing mory could not reach far enough to know whom.
---
“Avi, open your eyes.”
It was Luna.
“You were asleep for quite a long ti. Is everything alright?” - Luna asked.
“I don't know Luna. I don't know.”
“Virka is hungry. Can you make her a nice al?”
“Virka... on it, on it!” - Avi stood up, hurrying in pajamas to the kitchen. She tripped over the doorway threshold, but Luna was quick to catch her.
“Careful.”
“I'm sorry.”
---
Avi silently entered the dical room and closed the door. Virka lay resting beneath a white coverlet, one could notice a bracelet on her bandaged wrist, which monitored the vital functions.
Avi passed the plate to Virka. It had so scrambled eggs, thinly sliced tomatoes, and a glass of lemonade.
“How do you feel, Virka?” - Avi asked.
“Still alive.” - Virka muttered.
“I'll let you eat in peace, call if you need anything.” - Avi inford, ready to leave.
Virka grabbed just her hand, requesting. - “Stay.” - She then continued to eat without a word, until she put her half-eaten al aside on the cabinet.
Both girls were silent for a few more minutes, during which Avi kept smiling with kindness.
“I'm sorry.” - Virka stated suddenly.
Tears began flowing from the corners of Avi's eyes, and she threw herself toward Virka, hugging her. Virka had a blank, yet barely shocked stare, as if she was unable to comprehend what was happening around her. Tears ca to her eyes involuntarily, and she moved her hand to Avi's hair and began sobbing.
“Virka, I'll never leave you alone, I promise.” - Avi uttered after a while, through her tears. - “You can tell about everything. We're in this together, aren't we?”
“Avi... I... don't deserve it.” - Virka muttered. - “Not after what I've done.”
“What are you talking about!?” - Avi protested. - “I would never give you up!”
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Virka hesitated, and a sad smile appeared on her face. - “I...” - She bit her tongue. - “...our monts together, although nice, they evoke a pain I can't describe.”
Avi recalled how she talked with Luna at the pond back on Earth. - “I understand.”
“No, Avi. You both don't know how it is... You don't know how disgusted I'm with myself, with who I once was. You were never...” - Virka pushed Avi away and broke into tears. - “...forced to do what I was forced to do. You don't know how much you both remind of it.”
“Virka, if you would only want to explain what this is about precisely, we are willing to help.” - Avi declared.
“Slowflaes, falling slowly, I recalled that mory each night, trying to just survive. I closed my eyes, praying that the next ti I open them, the sky is blue, not grey... and now, when I finally can see it cleared, the corners of my eyes pick shadows of the past up, and don't allow to rorget.. they drag back into this abyss...”
Avi held Virka's hands. - “I don't know what these shadows are, but I believe in good endings. Even if the path there is long, I want to walk by your side, hand-in-hand.”
“Avi. You don't understand. You won't fix . It's impossible. I'm too tired to carry this pain any longer, to pretend to be soone else than I really am.”
“Virka... I don't want to lie to you, promising it to get better instantly... but isn't it worth trying?”
“You'll be disappointed by .”
“No, Virka. I'm already proud of you today. You worked hard, I'm saying it wholeheartedly.”
“...but ...I didn't do anything.”
“As long as I hear your voice, I know that you're trying your best. As long as I feel the warmth of your tears, I know that soone important to is still here. As long as I hold your hand, I promise to myself that nobody will take you away from . That's how important you are to .”
Virka lowered her head. - “Avi... I won't stop you, will I?”
“I want to be with you together.”
“Does what I desire doesn't matter?”
“Tell , what do you desire?”
Virka didn't answer at first, then opened her mouth slightly as if to say sothing, but when she noticed Avi's kind expression, she held back from answering, as if unsure, then whispered. - “I only desire... to return ho.”
“May the stars' light listen to your prayers.” - Avi said in a quiet voice, then kissed Virka on her forehead.
Virka was close to being paralyzed. She realized that in that short mont, Avi's warmth was the only thing she could focus on. Avi. When Avi stepped back to give Virka so space, the Khazan woman added. - “Avi... I can't promise you anything... but I really want you to rember in a better light. Please, let stay alone for a mont, I have a lot to think about.”
---
Avi walked outside, then gently closed the door. Luna was already waiting, with a concerned and serious expression.
“How did it go?” - Luna asked.
“I don't know, she doesn't want to share what truly troubles her.” - Avi said. - “I think we should keep supporting her as much as we can.”
Luna sighed. - “Eh, really, I wasn't expecting that from her. It's not making anything easier.”
“Uhm, what do you an?” - Avi asked.
“We have enough concerns. She's not making our mission easier.”
Avi tried to speak quietly. - “Luna! Don't be so heartless!”
“I'm trying to think rationally. A ntally unadjusted crew increases the risk of danger. On top of that, we will have to keep watching her, given her state. Avi, she's an extra burden.”
“Don't speak about her like that!”
“We should find professional help for her, soone who knows how to deal with a damaged psyche.”
“Do you... want to get rid of Virka?”
“No, I want to help her.”
“By leaving her on her own? Do you really think it will be better for her?!”
“Maybe. I don't know. We have to ask a specialist.”
“Don't be ridiculous! She needs us.”
“Avi. We DON'T know that. When she was on her own, she didn't act like this.”
“And how can you know!?”
“Avi, think a bit. If it were so, we would find Khazan empty.”
“She could've been already planning it for a long ti. Death of... that immortal must have shaken her.”
“Well, I also think it's a matter of her substance abuse. We should confiscate that stuff.”
“I don't think it's a good idea. We can't just... try to control her.”
“I don't want to argue, Avi. You're the captain here, and you'll do what you believe is right. I'm only giving you good advice.”
“... as the captain? Luna, since when!? We're in this together! It's our ho. Each of us is a full and indispensable mber of the crew. Don't draw unnecessary lines between us!”
“Well, the ship listens to you. My opinion, similarly, has a lesser priority than your own. Virka apparently can't make rational decisions anymore. We are relying mostly on you, and your choice will be the final one, and we will have to live with its consequences. I want you to be aware of how much depends on you, and what responsibility rests on your shoulders.”
“I... Luna, that's not like this. You're confusing everything.”
“I say what I see. You need to mature into this role. It's about more than just your life.”
“No, you're the one who needs to mature! You don't notice the essence of what connects all of us!”
“You're right, I can't see the world as you see it, but I still see things you don't want to see. That's why I suggest alternatives, which you still don't take into account.”
“I... I want the best for us.”
“That's why you should sotis let soone more competent than both of us decide.”
“If Virka agrees, we can't force her.”
“Sotis, for soone's own good, they need to be deprived of their freedom of choice.”
“Luna! That won't help anyone! At most, we should just encourage her.
“You will do what you deem is correct. I only try to be effective and prioritize the mission.”
“Luna... It's about Virka, and you are thinking about it as if she were a task to check off.”
“I don't understand. What do you expect of ?”
“A little bit more empathy.”
“That's not doable. I can't read her mind.”
“You won't make a mistake by being kind to her.”
“I'll try, if that's what you wish.”
“That's what I wish.”
“Then I'll try. I promise.”
Both girls stood next to each other for a few minutes, then Luna looked at Avi aningfully and continued. - “We still have to decide what to do about Astronauts. It's the last step before eting them. Did they earn your trust?”
“I... didn't make any decisions.”
“Ti is running out.”
“Luna... I can't just abandon my parents.”
“I'm not going to lecture you. You are well aware of the consequences.”
“Astronauts... I will talk to them once more. I'll make sure they want a better future.”
“...but?” - Luna was sceptical.
“Luna, do you understand how much it hurts when I'm so close and I'm just supposed to give everything up?”
“Avi, that I know, would be strong and wise enough to choose what is right. I don't want you to have any regrets in the future.”
“Luna... I can't live like you want to. Let make mistakes.”
“So you've already decided.” - Luna crossed her arms and looked at Avi inquisitively.
“I... don't know, Luna. I don't know, I really don't!!!” - Avi protested. - “Let think about it one last ti, on my own.”
“Fine. I'll wait at the bridge until you make your decision.”
---
Avi returned to her room, collapsing from exhaustion on her bed. She buried her teary face in the pillow, trying to silence her scream.
When she cald down, she looked at a photo that hung on the wall. She was there, still a kid, grinning with happiness, and her parents were next to her.
“What would you want to do?” - Avi uttered, taking the photo in her hands. Two tears dropped on the protective glass, and Avi hugged the image to her chest. - “I'm missing you.”
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