Not wanting to stay inside to argue any further, Ru shot up from her seat and excused herself for a while. After a mont of thinking, Xiao Zhiren followed her out to the corridor.
She was pacing in the corridor with her face hidden behind thick smoke. As she lifted her hand to bit the cigarette again, Xiao Zhiren watched her lazy movents as if there was a huge storm behind her calm face.
"What was that?" Hearing his voice, Ru lifted her eyes a bit to see his gloomy face.
"What was what?" She feigned ignorance with a nonchalant smile.
"What you just did inside?" He added.
"I did sothing inside? Why can’t I rember it?" Ru gave a thoughtful look while stubbing her cigarette in her hand and throwing it straight to the wastebin at the side.
Xiao Zhiren glared at her saying, "Stop pretending. You argued with on purpose."
"Of course, I did." She didn’t bother denying it at all. "But did I say sothing wrong?"
"What you said was right for you but what I said will always stay right to ." She opened her mouth to say sothing but he interrupted her again saying, "You better stop it."
"Stop what exactly?" She asked.
"Stop trying to push away!" His voice had raised a bit while stared intently at her to see her eyes widening up a bit before getting back their usual luster. Seeing how she stepped back a bit from him, he felt disappointed and changed his words, "I an, stop trying to push everyone away with your vicious tongue. These word gas will get you nowhere except for a place called loneliness."
"Ga of words?" She mumbled to herself. "Every person have a reason behind why they are playing the ga." Sighing heavily, she went on, "Besides, I just wanted you to know that the worst pain cos with the love that you can’t have. Don’t push yourself towards such pain, it will leave behind a storm of tears."
This ti Xiao Zhiren scoffed at her words. "Tears of pain, regret or sadness... All of them hurt but the ones which are never shed... They are the worst because they are capable of eroding our souls."
His words were surely a straight taunt to her. She didn’t shed tears but was it her fault? She didn’t even know the emotions that could bring the tears. Pain? She got used to it long ago. Regrets? She didn’t like having such useless emotions. As for sadness? What really was sadness?
Looking into her green eyes brimming with confusion, he added, "I honestly don’t know how long you had been hearing things. But don’t you think, it’s ti to start listening with care. Give up on existing already and give yourself a chance to live instead. What you look at can’t always be true. So, start seeing..." ’I want you to see . Offering you the love that you need.’ With a heavy heart, he added, "And if you can’t see, try feeling." ’All my feelings are for you anyway.’
She felt her heart beating a bit faster than it usually did. What was wrong? She was perplexed while her conscience had to remind her, ’You closed your eyes, not wanting to see his passionate gaze. You even closed your ears to avoid his sincere words. But how are you going to close to your heart to keep his feelings at bay? That’s the one thing you can’t possibly rule over.’
"You’re talking like you’ve lived through my life," Ru mumbled softly barely audible.
"I know you think that I don’t understand you but don’t you think that you also don’t understand at all? We both have the right to have opinions about each other but is it necessary to build a wall all over again between us just so that we could keep our bubble of opinions from bursting?" Xiao Zhiren’s words quietened her up, unexpectedly. "Words cut deeper than knives. Stop using them so carelessly."
As he turned to leave, he heard her laugh and faced her again. She stretched her hand out to him and said, "It’s nice to et you, Xiao Zhiren." The way she said his full na stunned him. Wasn’t it the first ti, she actually called his full na? "It’s really nice eting you." She added again since she realized, it was possibly the first ti soone actually dared to lecture her like this.
Xiao Zhiren skeptically lifted his hand to shake hers but suddenly her face turned white like paper as she stared behind him in disbelief. Her eyes were about to pop out of her sockets.
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