[Translator - Peptobismol]
[Proofreader - Demon God]
Chapter 42 - Go Back, Claire. There’s Nothing I Can Do for You
There’s a saying about crocodile tears.
It’s said that when a crocodile catches and devours a person, it sheds tears for the ones it has killed. Tears shed for the very ones it has consud.
"I… I an, Lee Han… I-I missed you so much."
The reason those words ca to mind as Lloyd watched Claire’s tears was simple: those tears didn’t resonate with him.
It’s said that crocodiles do indeed cry when they eat their prey.
Apparently, the nerves that control their jaw movents and tear ducts are closely connected.
So, when they chew, tears flow automatically.
"Sob… I’m so glad I could see you. No, thank you for eting ."
Claire couldn’t hold back her tears any longer and let them flow freely.
These weren’t the tears of the Claire he once knew.
In the over ten years Lloyd had spent with her, he had never seen Claire cry this much.
She had always been cool-headed, forward-thinking, and calculating.
But now, she lay there, exhausted.
As if she had lost all her sharp fangs.
'Crocodile tears.'
Therefore, Claire’s tears weren’t crocodile tears.
If she had cried when she killed Lee Han, when her fangs were still sharp, those would have been crocodile tears.
But she probably laughed instead.
After Lee Han’s death, she had risen to the position of a hero and seized the opportunity to explosively grow her trading company.
She must have been happy.
In fact, that joy was sothing Lloyd could understand—the sa joy he felt when his political maneuvering succeeded, and he got what he wanted.
And now, seeing Claire cry only after her fangs had dulled…
'It’s hard to sympathize.'
Lloyd spoke coldly.
"Claire."
"L-Lee Han."
"I don’t go by that na anymore."
"Then…?"
"Lloyd. That’s my na now."
"B-but… I’ve always called you Lee Han… Hic."
"Yeah, I guess you did."
That was all in the past.
And there had been a death in between.
Lloyd was calm, while Claire was incoherent.
"You know, even this tea reminded of when you used to make it for us. Back when we were in the Hero Party, you made this tea every night when we couldn’t sleep. So, as soon as I tasted it, I knew it was you, Lee Han. Because it’s the taste I rember so fondly."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. I never said it, but I really loved this tea."
Claire took another sip from her cup.
It was made from the evening primrose that only grew on the continent’s plains.
It had a calming effect, helping to relax the body and mind.
Whenever the Hero Party mbers were anxious, Lloyd had always comforted them with this tea.
"I just wanted you all to be in the best condition possible."
"...Really, you always took such good care of us, Lee Han."
"It wasn’t just skill that we needed to defeat the Demon King. Condition, atmosphere, confidence—everything mattered."
"Yeah. Everyone knew how much effort you put in."
From the strategies to defeat the Demon King to taking care of the team mbers, Lloyd had taken on everything to lead the Hero Party.
As he recalled the past, Lloyd spoke nonchalantly.
"Well, I don’t regret it. Thanks to that, we were able to defeat the Demon King. Even if everything after that turned into a complete ss."
"Th-that’s… that was…"
Claire’s lips trembled.
Lloyd took another sip of his tea.
It was, indeed, evening primrose tea. It cald his mind quickly.
He didn’t regret taking care of them so diligently.
It was sothing that had to be done to defeat the Demon King.
He was only disappointed in himself for trusting people too much.
That was the extent of his feelings. At least, up until now.
"Lee… Lee Han."
Claire hesitated, then carefully opened her mouth.
Even though he had told her his na had changed, she still called him whatever she wanted. That was just like Claire.
She had called him that since they were young, so it was probably hard for her to break the habit.
"I… uh… I’m sick."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. The doctor says it’s sothing like Mana Sensitivity Syndro, an incurable disease."
Mana Sensitivity Syndro, huh?
He had heard of the condition in passing before.
"It’s important to find soone who can stabilize your mana."
Lloyd listed off what he knew.
But Claire seed to mistake this for concern.
Her expression brightened, and she even seed to regain a bit of her forgotten confidence as she spoke.
"That’s right. I think I’ve found that person."
"Really? Congratulations."
Lloyd’s calm response.
Claire, sowhat flustered, asked,
"Aren’t you going to ask who it is?"
"Claire, you’re the kind of person who takes good care of yourself. We’re not in the sa party anymore. We’re not even friends."
"Ah…"
The confidence she had just regained seed to dissolve, and Claire’s gaze fell back to the table.
"Y-yeah. You’re right. But…"
Gulp.
Claire swallowed hard, as if steeling herself.
Then, she lifted her head to look at him.
"I think… it’s you. The reason I’ve been stable all this ti. The reason I didn’t even know I had Mana Sensitivity Syndro. And when I think about the ti we’ve been apart… it all adds up to one answer."
Her gaze fell again.
All her confidence and sharpness lted away, leaving only a toothless crocodile biting her lip, head bowed.
"L-Lee Han. I can only calm my mana when I’m near you. I… I didn’t realize it. I was just so ignorant. I guess I took you for granted, like a fool. I really was stupid to take such good fortune for granted."
It made sense.
Mana Sensitivity Syndro was a congenital disease.
The reason her symptoms hadn’t appeared was likely because he had always been by her side.
Enough years had passed since Lloyd’s death for her condition to worsen.
Claire mumbled as if confessing her sins.
"That’s right. I think I took you for granted. You were always there for . You helped when I struggled, gave advice, and even handled difficult tasks on my behalf. I always thought I was so smart, but it wasn’t that—I just looked smart because you were there. And yet, I was too foolish to realize that, just too full of myself… I was the real fool, the idiot."
Creak.
Her clenched fist began to turn white.
Even so, Claire didn’t release her grip.
Her hand, pale and now trembling uncontrollably.
Her lower lip, bitten hard as if to hold sothing back, was already bleeding, with droplets of blood falling onto the table.
It would be nice if it didn’t stain.
As he entertained this thought, Claire managed to speak.
"I-I’m sorry, Lee Han. I was wrong. I’m sorry for acting like a fool. I’m sorry for not recognizing your sincerity. I’m sorry for not paying more attention to you. I’m sorry for everything…"
Drip.
Tears mingled with the blood that had already fallen onto the table.
"I’m sorry… I’m so sorry."
Claire repeated those words like a broken machine.
Her shaking shoulders.
Her hair plastered to her head.
If this were back in the days of the Hero Party, Lloyd might have wrapped an arm around her shoulders and comforted her.
But now, for so reason, she just looked like a robot or a mannequin to him.
There was no urge to comfort her, no desire to do anything.
"Clean that up."
Lloyd handed her a handkerchief.
He also wiped the table that had begun to stain.
Even though Claire still couldn’t control her emotions, her feelings didn’t reach him.
Instead, only her reason for coming to visit remained.
"In any case, since you’re here to make a request, I assu it’s to stabilize your Mana Sensitivity Syndro?"
His tone was completely businesslike.
Claire lifted her head, her eyes brimming with chicken-scratch tears.
"N-no. It’s not that…"
"Then why did you co to see ? You must have had so goal in mind. So benefit you wanted to secure."
"I… I really wanted to see you. It’s not just sothing I’m saying. I an it, really."
"Hmm."
Lloyd tapped the table with his fingers.
"Sorry, but I didn’t really feel the sa way."
"H-hic!"
Claire’s expression crumbled instantly.
Lloyd couldn’t bring himself to believe in her behavior.
"And I thought it was the sa for you. You’re a smart girl, Claire."
"No, I’m stupid…"
"Listen carefully, Claire. I’m asking this out of curiosity, not because I’m holding a grudge. When you sent to the execution stage, didn’t you carefully calculate and predict how the future would turn out?"
"Th-that’s…"
Claire’s tears began to dry up.
Whether it was because she had run out of tears or because her mind was racing, Lloyd couldn’t tell, but it didn’t matter.
To be honest, he was disappointed.
"Claire. I was hoping that the person who ca to find would still be smart. If you were cold enough to make the decision to get rid of , you should have used that as a foundation to move forward successfully."
"N-no, that’s not… Lee Han, please…"
"I’ve always thought that our relationship was on a calculator ever since that ti. So I was prepared to accept you whenever you ca looking for , as long as you were beneficial to the calculations I was making."
"No, it’s not about calculations—I ca to apologize… I just wanted to beg for forgiveness."
"Claire. Where did that arrogance go when I asked you to reconsider back then? Were you really just this weak? Weak enough to cling to the person you condemned to death just because you’re sick?"
"Th-that’s…!"
Claire trembled violently.
Tears welled up in her eyes once more as she desperately looked at him.
What a letdown.
There was nothing to gain from this overly emotional Claire, nothing left of the sharpness she once had.
However,
She had already fulfilled her role by informing him about the right ti to attack the Seven Kill Squad.
"But Lee Han…"
Lloyd sighed as he looked at Claire, who still clung to false hope.
"Go back, Claire. There’s nothing I can do for you."
[Translator - Peptobismol]
[Proofreader - Demon God]
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