His words, though well-intentioned, only seed to sink deeper into her, triggering a sense of numbness rather than relief. She understood he was trying to comfort her, but all she felt was the weight of her own exhaustion, physical and emotional.
She had tried, truly tried, to throw herself back into her work. She had watched enough Korean dramas to know that when soone loses everything, the only way to survive is to imrse yourself in sothing else, to work yourself to the bone until the pain is drowned out. She had hoped that was the answer. She had hoped the hospital would bring a sense of purpose back, that her patients would help her focus and forget for even a mont. But it didn’t work. Every ti she picked up her doctor’s coat, every ti her fingers brushed against her stethoscope, mories of that day flooded back—mories of the phone call she had missed.
She could still hear it in her head, the ring of the phone echoing, but she hadn’t answered. If only she had. Maybe she could have heard Andrew’s voice one last ti, maybe she would have been able to listen to what he had wanted to say, the things he had planned for them. Maybe, just maybe, if she had picked up, if she had been there, she could have saved them.
But she knew deep down that it was all just wishful thinking. The rational part of her knew there was nothing she could have done. The collapse, the loss—it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Not hers, not Andrew’s, not anyone’s. Still, the guilt hung heavy, like a dark cloud that refused to dissipate. She had lost as a wife, as a mother. She had failed them both.
What cut the deepest was the image that haunted her—her young child, alone under the weight of that concrete, unable to escape. The rescue teams had found Andrew cradling their child, trying to protect him, even in the monts before his own life had been taken. It tore at Allie’s heart, the thought that her husband had done everything he could, yet she couldn’t even be there to save them. She hadn’t been there to help her own child, her own family, in their final monts. She couldn’t bear to think of the terror her child had experienced, trapped in a collapsing building with no escape, while she was unaware, far removed from the horror that was unfolding.
And the worst part was that she wasn’t there. She hadn’t been there when they needed her the most. And now, even though she had all the knowledge, all the training to heal others, she couldn’t heal herself. She couldn’t fix the pain that had shattered her life, the pain that clung to her every thought. The mory of that day, the one she couldn’t change, the one that kept replaying in her mind, gnawed at her relentlessly.
Allie’s thoughts swirled in a constant spiral, each one more destructive than the last. She could feel herself falling, drowning in the overwhelming weight of her own grief. And no matter how much she wanted to escape it, no matter how much she tried to push it aside, it was always there, waiting to pull her under.
Seeing Es’s tears, Ray and the others exchanged uncertain glances, unsure how to react. Ray, the ever-compassionate one, was the first to move, gently patting her back, trying to comfort her. Kai, ever the one to break the tension, smirked lightly and leaned in, his voice teasing yet warm. "Wow! Here you are, crying like a child, but in front of the police, you’re acting like such a distressed wife, huh?"
Es, still hiccuping with her tears, shot him a glare sharp enough to silence him. "Shut up!" she snapped, her voice trembling with emotion. Kai, Jay, and Ryan all froze in place, their expressions caught between surprise and concern. They had never seen Es this raw, this vulnerable. But the realization hit them like a wave—she was finally letting them see this side of her because she trusted them now.
Ray, noticing the shift, crouched down in front of her. He took her hands gently, his voice soft but filled with concern. "What happened, babe?" he asked, brushing a tear from her cheek. "Even the child, the baby, was worried about you. Why are you crying like this?" His words were ant to soothe, but there was an underlying worry in his eyes that made her chest tighten.
Es looked up at him, her tear-filled eyes eting his. Her voice cracked as she responded, "You..." She sighed deeply, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. "What kind of progress plan was that, huh? You have no idea what I went through."
Ray frowned, his brow furrowing as he tried to make sense of her words. "But... wasn’t that your plan?" he asked, almost helplessly. He couldn’t understand what was making her so upset when it was her plan to begin with.
Es didn’t answer imdiately. Instead, she closed her eyes, trying to steady herself. She had never wanted to show this side to anyone, least of all Ray. But in that mont, the weight of everything ca crashing down on her. She didn’t want him to see the cracks in her armor, but she couldn’t keep it hidden any longer.
The truth was, ever since Ray’s belly started to grow, Es had known the danger was closing in on them. The house was no longer a safe haven. Keeping him here, surrounded by people, wasn’t an option anymore. But she couldn’t hide him away either—it would draw more attention than they could handle.
Her investigation had revealed sothing chilling: the old man, along with other relatives, was planning to visit Ray soon. If they ca, if they saw him, everything would be over. The secret would crumble. The old master wasn’t so naïve that he wouldn’t recognize his own grandson’s face, especially with the changes Ray was going through.
They couldn’t keep delaying it forever. Sooner or later, the truth would co out.
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