Chapter 62: Chapter 63: The pantry
Lena’s POV
I left Elara’s chambers feeling like I’d been slapped.
The conversation had been brief, but her tone had carried a sharpness I had never heard from her before. Not at , anyway. There had been sothing cold behind the words, sothing that made
feel as though I had been asured and found wanting. As I walked down the corridor, her expression replayed in my mind again and again.
Had I said sothing wrong?
The thought made my stomach tighten.
I forced myself to keep walking toward the servants’ quarters, trying to steady my breathing. The castle corridors were quieter now, the torches along the walls burning low, casting long shadows that seed to move as I passed.
Too much had happened in a single day. Kaelen’s dismissal. Malakor collapsing. And her talking down at
like I was nothing.
She had never spoken to
like that. Never looked at
like I was nothing more than a servant who had overstepped.
We were friends. At least I made her think that way.
I just wanted to reach my bed and forget the day. Forget the way she had said "that’s Your Majesty" like I was dirt beneath her shoes. What a bitch.
As I passed the pantry, a strange sound made
pause.
At first I thought it was soone moving supplies, perhaps a late servant fetching food or wine for so lord who couldn’t sleep. But then I heard sothing else. Low laughter. Whispered voices. The soft rustle of movent that had nothing to do with sacks of flour or barrels of grain.
Frowning, I pushed the door open.
The sight inside stopped
cold.
A chambermaid and a palace guard were tangled together in the narrow space between the shelves. Her back was against the wall, her skirts bunched up around her waist. His hands were on her hips, his mouth on her neck. They were clearly having a private mont where they thought no one would find them.
The chambermaid gasped when she saw . Her eyes went wide with horror. She shoved at the guard’s chest, trying to push him away.
But I barely noticed her.
My eyes were fixed on the guard.
I recognized him imdiately.
The sa man who had cornered
in the corridor just last week. The sa man whose hands had been on my waist, whose mouth had been against mine.
Heat flooded my face as humiliation burned through my chest. He had been with
just days ago. Whispering things. Touching
like I mattered. And now here he was, pressed against another girl in the pantry like I was nothing.
The chambermaid scrambled to straighten her clothes, muttering hurried apologies as she rushed past
and fled the pantry entirely. The door slamd shut behind her, leaving
alone with the guard.
My anger had nowhere else to go.
I struck him in the chest, shoving at him, my voice sharp with accusation. "You snake! You absolute snake! Just last week you were—" I couldn’t even finish the sentence. The words stuck in my throat.
He caught my wrists easily, his grip firm as he tried to quiet
before soone passing in the corridor heard the noise. "Lena. Lena, stop. Soone will hear."
"Let them hear!" I struggled against his grip, furious that he could stand there so calmly after making such a fool of . "Let the whole castle hear what kind of man you are! Let them hear how you whisper sweet words to one girl and then stick your tongue down another’s throat days later!"
"Keep your voice down." His eyes darted toward the door. "Do you want every guard in the palace to co running?"
"Maybe I do! Maybe I want them all to see what a lying, cheating—"
"It wasn’t cheating." He cut
off, his voice low and steady. "We’re not together, Lena. We never said we were together."
He was right. He’d touched , kissed , made
feel wanted for the first ti in months. But he’d never promised anything. Never said words like "together" or "only each other."
I thought of Kaelen. Of how long it had been since a man had really touched . Kaelen only ever saw
as a friend despite everything I had and would do for him. Despite the years of loyalty, of waiting, of hoping he would finally see
the way I saw him. He never did. He never would.
"It ant nothing," the guard said, his voice softening slightly. "The other girl ant nothing. It was just... an urge. A mont. She was there and I was... you know how it is."
"Do I?" My voice ca out smaller than I wanted.
"You know how lonely it gets in this place." He released my wrists but didn’t step back. "You know how it feels to want soone to just... touch you. Hold you. Make you feel like you’re not invisible."
I did know. God help , I knew exactly what he ant.
"It’s been a long ti for ," I heard myself say. The words slipped out before I could stop them. "A really long ti since anyone... since I felt..."
"Since you felt wanted?" He finished the sentence for .
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
His expression shifted. The amusent faded. Sothing else took its place. Sothing softer. More careful.
"I rember how you felt in my arms last week," he said quietly. "The way you lted when I touched you. The sounds you made." He stepped closer. "You’ve been thinking about it, haven’t you? Since then?"
"Yes," I whispered.
"I’ve been thinking about it too." His hand ca up to my face, fingers brushing my cheek. "About the way you looked at . The way you said my na. The way your body fit against mine."
"You were just with soone else." The words ca out weak, pathetic.
"She didn’t matter. She was just... warm. Available." His thumb traced my jawline. "You’re different, Lena. You know that."
"Do I?"
"You feel it too. I can see it in your eyes." He leaned closer. "So long, isn’t it? Since soone really touched you? Since soone made you feel like you weren’t alone?"
I thought about Kaelen again. About how long it had been since we’d been anything but co-conspirators in a plan that felt like it was falling apart. About how empty my bed felt every night. About how hungry I was for soone to just... see .
"Too long," I admitted.
"Then stop fighting." His mouth was close to mine now. "Stop being angry about sothing that didn’t an anything. Let
make you feel good. Let
remind you what it’s like to be wanted."
I should have pushed him away.
I should have thought about Kaelen. About the plan. About Elara’s cold eyes and everything I still needed to do.
But all I could think about was how long it had been. How empty I felt. How much I needed soone to touch
like I mattered.
So I let him kiss .
His kiss wasn’t gentle. It was urgent, tasting of the other woman, a fact that made my stomach twist with a sick mixture of jealousy and a dark, perverse heat, and of desperation. He backed
up until my spine hit the rough wood of the shelving unit, jars of dried herbs rattling ominously.
"I shouldn’t be doing this," I gasped against his mouth, even as my hands fisted in the fabric of his tunic, pulling him closer.
"No," he agreed, his hand sliding down to grip my backside, hauling
up until my feet left the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist, the friction of my uniform skirt bunching at my hips. "But you are. And you want to."
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