Chapter 56: Chapter 57; Farewell to Thorin
Elara’s POV
I stood in front of the mirror in my chambers and stared at my reflection.
The woman looking back at
was a stranger. Pale. Tired. Dark circles under her eyes that no amount of powder could hide. But she was dressed now, the deep blue gown with silver threading, the crown sitting heavy on my head, the jewels at my throat that felt like weights pulling
down.
My stomach churned. The nausea had been with
all morning, sa as every morning for weeks now. I pressed my hand against my middle, willing it to settle. Willing my body to cooperate for just a few hours. At least now I knew why I felt this way.
I needed to get through this. I needed to face Thorin. I needed to sign this treaty and watch him leave and pretend that everything was fine.
The door opened behind . I did not turn around. I knew who it was.
"Elara?" Lena’s voice, soft and careful. "I brought you so tea. The good one, with honey. You barely ate anything yesterday, and you skipped breakfast again this morning. You need to have sothing."
I watched her in the mirror as she crossed the room. She set the tray down on the small table near the window. Her face was full of concern, the kind of look a friend gives when she is worried.
"I’m not hungry, Lena," I said quietly.
"I knew you would say that." She moved closer. Stood just behind , our reflections side by side in the glass. "But you have to eat sothing. You have that eting with Thorin in less than an hour. You need your strength."
The concern in her voice sounded real. It always did. That was what made her so good at her job.
"I’ll eat after."
"After might be too late." She reached out, touched my arm gently. "Look at yourself. You’re pale. You’re shaking. Whatever is going on with you, whatever you’re dealing with, you can’t face him like this. Not after everything that happened in the courtyard."
I t her eyes in the mirror. "What do you think is going on with ?"
She hesitated. Just for a mont. But I caught it.
"I don’t know," she said carefully. "That’s what worries . You’ve been different lately. The way you’ve been sick in the mornings. The way your moods change so fast. The way you push everyone away." She paused. "I’m your friend, Elara. You can tell
anything. You know that."
Can I?
The thought crossed through my mind. Could I tell her about the physician I had visited in secret? About what he had told ? About the life growing inside
that I had never planned for and did not know what to do with? Who I thought and was sure teb father might be?
No.
I could not tell anyone. Not until I figured out what I was going to do. Not until I knew how to protect myself, and this child, from everyone who would use it against .
"There’s nothing to tell," I said flatly. "I’m fine."
"You’re not fine." Her voice was gentle but firm. "I’ve known you for years. I’ve never seen you like this. Whatever it is, whatever is wrong, let
help you. That’s what friends do."
Friends.
The word echoed in my mind. Lena had been a good friend. A loyal handmaiden. Soone who had been there through everything, the coronation, the assassination attempt, the long nights and harder days.
But right now, I felt there was no one actually by my side. I felt everyone was critizing .
Or maybe it was just . Maybe I was so twisted up inside that I could not trust anyone anymore. Maybe the pregnancy had made
paranoid on top of everything else.
Or maybe
No. I could not afford to think like that. I could not afford to push away the only person who had stayed by my side.
"I appreciate your concern," I said. My voice ca out colder than I had intended. "But I need you to leave now. I have to finish getting ready."
Lena’s face fell slightly. "Elara–"
"Not now Lena." I turned from the mirror to face her directly. "And I am asking you to leave. That is an order."
The words hung in the air between us. I watched the emotions cross across her face, surprise, hurt, sothing else I could not read. For a mont, I thought she might argue. Might push back like she used to when we were closer, when the line between queen and handmaiden felt less sharp.
But she did not.
She dropped her gaze. Stepped back. Curtsied.
"As you wish, Your Majesty." Her voice was soft. Subdued. "The tea will be here if you change your mind."
She left. The door closed softly behind her.
I stood alone in the middle of my chambers, my heart pounding, my stomach churning, my hand pressed against the secret growing inside .
I should not have spoken to her like that. She was only trying to help. She was only being a friend.
But I could not afford friends right now. I could not afford to let anyone close. Not until I figured out what I was going to do. Not until I knew who I could trust.
And maybe, maybe not even then.
I took a deep breath. Straightened my shoulders. Lifted my chin.
The woman in the mirror looked a little less like a stranger now. A little more like a queen.
A queen who was alone.
A queen who had to be.
The walk to the diplomatic chamber felt longer than it should have. Each step echoed on the stone floor. Guards bowed as I passed. Servants pressed themselves against the walls. Everyone watched. Everyone judged.
I kept my face neutral. My back straight. My chin high.
No one could know what was happening inside . No one could see the fear, the confusion, the desperate need to just get through this day without falling apart.
The doors to the diplomatic chamber lood ahead. Two guards pulled them open. I stepped inside.
The room was cold. Not in temperature, the fire was blazing, warm enough to make my cheeks flush, but in feeling. In atmosphere. In the way everyone in the room watched
with careful, calculating eyes.
Thorin stood on the other side of the long table. His advisors flanked him like soldiers waiting for orders. My own advisors were there too, Malakor watching with that unreadable expression, others I did not trust as far as I could throw them.
I walked to my place at the table. Sat. Arranged my hands in front of .
"Your Majesty." Thorin’s voice was polite. Formal. No trace of the anger from the courtyard. "Shall we begin?"
"We shall."
The treaty signing was civil. Professional. Thorin was cold but correct, he knew he had been outmaneuvered but had to maintain diplomatic face. The terms were exactly what I had proposed. Limited trade agreent. Grain for shipping routes. Non-aggression pact. No marriage. No personal union.
I signed my na. He signed his. Witnesses added their marks. The treaty was sealed.
Done.
As the advisors shuffled papers and prepared the copies, Thorin leaned close. Close enough that only I could hear.
"I think you believe you have made a powerful choice, Your Majesty." His voice was low. Quiet. "I hope it serves you better than it appears it will."
The words were not quite a threat. But close enough.
I t his eyes. Held his gaze. Refused to flinch.
"I have made the only choice I could," I said, equally quiet. "I wish Valerium well in addressing its internal difficulties. Perhaps we can revisit more extensive cooperation when your kingdom is more... stable."
A reminder that I held information about his vulnerabilities. A gentle warning not to beco an enemy.
Sothing crossed in his eyes. Respect, maybe. Or wariness. Or both.
He inclined his head. "You are more than you appear, Queen Elara."
"So are most won, King Thorin. It is a mistake to underestimate us."
A pause. Then he smiled, a real smile, not the diplomatic mask.
"I will rember that."
He straightened. Stepped back. The formal pleasantries resud. Words about hoping for peace. About mutual respect. About looking forward to future cooperation.
I said all the right things. Smiled all the right smiles. Nodded at all the right monts.
And then it was over.
Thorin and his retinue departed. I watched them go from the window, the procession winding through the courtyard, horses and carriages and guards, all heading toward the gates that would take them back to Valerium.
Gone.
He was gone.
I had avoided one trap.
But as I stood there, watching the last of them disappear through the gates, I felt no relief. No triumph. Only dread.
Because I knew I knew, that other traps were closing around .
The council, watching my every move, waiting for
to slip.
Kaelen, who I had ordered away, who I had pushed out of my life even though every part of
wanted to call him back.
And this child. This secret growing inside
that I could not hide forever.
"How much longer?" I whispered to myself. "How much longer before everything falls apart?"
Reviews
All reviews (0)