After we were all asured, we were told we could pick up our altered suits at the end of the day. Agaroth went off to do… whatever Agaroth does with himself… probably whores or drinking… or both… possibly see his son… who knows.
anwhile, Chloe showed us to the graveyard. Similar to the tailor, I’ve never been to the graveyard before. It’s quite a serene and peaceful place. Rather depressing to see the sheer number of gravestones… particularly the number of unmarked ones. Chloe said they are either unidentified bodies or from families that simply couldn’t afford a tombstone… or people who had no family and thus nobody to pay at all. The amount of death that exists in this world is truly awful.
Tadwick: “What’s wif all the stones?”
Dwynfel: “They’re called gravestones. They show you where sobody’s body is buried after they died.”
Tadwick: “Oh, so this place is full of dead people?”
Dwynfel: “Yes.”
Tadwick: “Are the people from my ho here?”
Maybe we shouldn’t have brought him here. I wonder if he is still wondering about death and what exactly death ans. I did try talking to Dacus and Kiyui about it, but that just left questioning things… I certainly didn’t co up with anything conclusive at all. I never did manage to give him the answer to his questions.
Chloe: “Yeah… they were brought back here and placed in a crypt at the far end over there. Why don’t you pop over there and see if you can find it. I’ll co help in a minute.”
Tadwick: “What’s a crypt?”
Chloe: “Little stone building, looks a bit like a grey shed. It will have the V’Rel sigil on the front.”
Tadwick: “Kay…”
Tadwick toddled off to towards the other side of the gravestones to try to find the crypt whilst Chloe walked towards Tilda’s grave.
Dwynfel: “I didn’t think anybody would actually retrieve the bodies and bring them back here. Normally, in these situations only those of noble birth are retrieved.”
Chloe: “It was Prince V’Rel. He paid for all the bodies to brought back here. Paid for a crypt too. Couldn’t find the bodies of any of the boys though. He paid for all their nas to be carved into a plaque inside the crypt. He was really cut up about what happened. He’s a good’n really, not like a lot of the nobles I’ve had to deal with since taking this job.”
This Prince V’Rel does sound like he rather breaks the mould when it cos to nobles. I haven’t exactly had a lot of contact with the nobles of this city, but from what people say, most of them have absolutely no regard for those less fortunate than them. So, for him to fund an orphanage in the first place… as well as paying for them to have a full crypt for all of the… hang on…
Dwynfel: “Tadwick isn’t going to see his na on that plaque, is he?”
Chloe: “Nah. Kathryn couldn’t rember his na, but we checked the orphanage records… easy to work out which na was his… he was the only ginger that they had.”
His hair is quite distinctive… especially when it gets wet. I do worry about him. Everything that he knew here is gone… not to ntion… well…
Dwynfel: “What are we going to do with him Chloe? That thing will find him eventually.”
Chloe: “Won’t it just find so other kid to pass into?”
Dwynfel: “It can’t. Once its mark is on the 10 children… then they are the only ones that will suffice. It will always know where he is… no matter where he goes, it will find him.”
Chloe: “Then I guess we best find a way to kill the fucking thing then. Until then, you better get used to being a daddy.”
Dwynfel: “Don’t take the piss. He’s almost as tall as . He’s not even five.”
Chloe: “Try tellin’ him that. He clearly likes having you around… we’re here.”
I looked at the gravestone in front of . Agaroth was right… this gravestone must have cost a fortune… it’s bigger than … and made of pure marble… and that shit is expensive.
Chloe: “Tilda Swan. Born Feb 14th of the year 768. Died protecting the innocent at the tender age of 19.”
She was far too young. She shouldn’t be dead. All she ever wanted was to help people.
Dwynfel: “It should have been that died at that cave.”
Chloe: “Shut up, Dwyn.”
Dwynfel: “Excuse ?”
Chloe: “Don’t even think about starting that shit. You think I brought you here so I could witness so self-pitying guilt trip. You think I want you to take the bla for this? Don’t be a prick. What happened to her wasn’t your fault.”
She can deny it all she wants… but we both know that this entire situation is entirely my fault.
Dwynfel: “If I hadn’t lied, then the party never would have split up, you guys would never have been on that job. If I hadn’t ssed up and got injured, then we’d still be partying like we used to. If I hadn’t gone in that cave and stolen Tadwick from that thing, it never would have co outside and she never would have been killed.”
Chloe: “How fucking self-obsessed are you?”
Excuse ?
Chloe: “If you hadn’t lied, then the party would never have existed in the first place. If you had put keeping your secret first, then Kiyui and that girl would have died in that alley. If you hadn’t rescued Tadwick when you did, then he would have been raped to death and that thing would be roaming about sowhere in a little ginger skin suit completely unnoticed, waiting to get older to go on a fucking killing spree again!”
Her face has gone red… she’s really angry.
Chloe: “We beca adventurers knowing the risks. We took that job knowing the risks. So don’t you dare start trying to take the bla for that. Every decision you made was with the best intentions. Every choice you made was the right thing to do, and you still lost. It happens, and it fucking sucks. But don’t you dare bla yourself for what happened to her.”
Dwynfel: “Sorry.”
Chloe: “Don’t apologise, fuck’s sake.”
She rested her head in her hand and took a deep breath. The redness left her face and spoke in a much calr tone.
Chloe: “Look, I brought you here for two reasons. Firstly, to explain to you that she felt awful about running from you that day. She regretted it within minutes. By the ti she ran back, you were gone. She didn’t hate you; she didn’t dislike you, she was just panicked and confused. Once we got back, she wanted to go to your house. She wanted to see you and say sorry. But she didn’t know how. And Asmodeus kept banging on about what a terrible creature you were and how it was just a matter of ti before you tried to kill us all. I should have dragged her along to see you, but Asmodeus had convinced that seeing you would destroy our careers. We’d dread of being adventurers since we were little kids. I didn’t want us to lose what we had built, so we just followed Asmodeus. I put our careers above our friend. I put our careers over her happiness. If anybody should be apologising it’s . So just… don’t… ok.”
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I have to admit… Chloe knows better than I thought she did. She knew I would be blaming myself… I know she wants to stop… but I don’t think I can. I lied to her… for almost four years. I lied to her so much. Even if I wasn’t directly responsible for her death… I still owe her an apology for the lies.
Dwynfel: “What was the second reason?”
Chloe: “What?”
Dwynfel: “You said there were two reasons.”
Chloe took a very long and deep breath.
Chloe: “To say goodbye, Dwyn. I know you loved her. Any idiot could see that. We always just thought you were shy because of your skin issues, and your height, and your voice. Ya know how so blokes get. Think the entire world is against them cause they’re short, or have a silly voice, or a tiny dick, or whatever… no offence.”
Well, that makes feel so secure… thanks for that.
Chloe: “Obviously, now I know it wasn’t just those things.”
Seriously… she’s doing this on purpose.
Chloe: “You still loved her, Dwyn. You loved her, she ran from you, and when you finally reunited, you watched her die. I… I did not handle her death well. I ca here for the funeral and never ca back for over a month. When I did, I found that talking to her helped. I know she’s just a body in the ground… but just talking… speaking to her… out loud… it helped . That’s why I brought you here. So, talk to her, Dwyn. Say goodbye. And after this, I will be going right back to taking the piss out of you, so don’t you dare go thinking this sympathy will last forever. I’m off to help Tadwick find that crypt. So just, talk to her.”
Chloe walked off to join Tadwick and I was left on my own… stood in front of Tilda’s grave. I’m really not sure what to do here… do I just start talking? What do I say? I suppose I should just be honest.
Dwynfel: “Tilda… umm… not really sure what to say here… I’m not even sure if you can hear … I’m not even sure if there is an afterlife or anything. Chloe can’t hear now, so I can at least say this… I’m sorry. I am so… so sorry. I never intended for us to beco friends. I just wanted to be an adventurer. I didn’t expect to find people like you… people that I cared about… people that cared about . I admired you so much… you were so nice to … you were so trusting of … and I lied to you the entire ti that I knew you. You shouldn’t have felt bad for running from … it was my fault for not telling you the truth. You were so sweet… I’m sure that if I had been honest with you… if I had trusted you, then I could have told you… I’m sure that if I had done that, then you wouldn’t have panicked. You would have said sothing calm… and collected… and beautiful… like you always did…”
Fuck… I’m starting to cry now.
Dwyfel: “…I cry way too much these days. You know… when I grew up in that nest… I never once saw another goblin cry? I’m sure the little ones probably did when the adventurers cornered them and they knew they were going to die. That was the first ti that I cried… when I thought I was going to die. But since that nest I’ve cried so much… I used to cry when I fell over and hurt myself on the farm… that’s not what goblins do. I cried when I left to beco an adventurer. I cried so many nights because I felt horrible about lying to you… I cry when I think about all this shit with Kiyui… I cry when I think about what will happen to Tadwick. Dacus says that displaying emotion is healthy… but he’s one of the most stoic people that I know… and my mum always told to cry to let the pain out when I was little. But deep down I still feel like it makes weak. I was only in that nest for two years and still those things are engrained in . Being sad is weakness… crying is weakness… the only emotion worth anything is anger. And yet here I am… crying at your grave… and feeling weak for doing so… and feeling angry with myself for not stopping it.”
I began to wipe the tears from my eyes and tried to make myself look slightly more respectable.
Dwynfel: “I’m going to use this as an opportunity to say sothing that I aways wanted to say to you Tilda. I… Dwynfel Vesidia… am a goblin. I know… it is fairly obvious now that I’m stood here with my head in full view, talking about being raised in a goblin nest… but saying it plainly just feels so freeing. I’m a goblin, Tilda. I always have been… when we first t, the first thing that I noticed about you was that you slled of lemon… I could sll you from across the room… because I’m a goblin. It still feels weird saying it out loud… I’m a goblin. And perhaps more importantly than any of that, Tilda… is that I always thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. I loved you Tilda… I loved you…”
Gods, I’ve been wanting to say that for so long. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my chest.
Dwynfel: “I loved you… I obsessed over you… and that terrified . I was so afraid that my feelings would make do sothing stupid and destroy our friendship. Even after I lied to you all that ti… in the end you still ran to … you trusted and died protecting , so that I could save a boy you didn’t even know. I still love you Tilda… and I think… I always will. I think I need to accept that… that love isn’t going to go away… the pain of losing you is never going to go away. If it was just on my own, I don’t know how I would get through this. But you’ll be pleased to know that I’m not as alone as I thought I would be. I have people who care about … I have people who support … I have people that rely on . I don’t need to wear my cowl around them… they know the real … and they stay with anyway. I’m still looking after that boy that we saved. He never even thought twice about what I was… he just sees as the person who saved him. I’ve even made friends with lizardn… lizardn of all things… how insane is that?”
Why does saying all of this out loud make feel better? She isn’t even here. I’m talking to a lump of marble. This makes no sense. Why is this helping?
Dwynfel: “I have felt genuinely happy at tis over the past two months… and painfully depressed at others. I think I’m finally starting to experience real life… it has the most amazing beauty and wonder… but with that beauty cos the absolute crushing despair of loss. If you want to experience the happiness you also have to deal with the sadness. I guess that is what Dacus and my mum ant… and also why Chloe told to talk to you. Even though it makes feel weak… feeling sad isn’t a bad thing. Because there are still things in this life that make happy. I think… I think I’m ready to say it now. Tilda… no matter what happens… you will always be in my heart. Goodbye, Tilda.”
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