We eventually arrived at the oasis. It was truly beautiful. I thought it would be quite small but it is like a full on forest in the middle of the desert. The flowers are a wonderful collection of colours… reds, blues, purples, and yellows. The trees are incredibly tall and the leaves are so verdant.
Dacus led us to a waterfall at the dead centre of this place. The water was crystal clear… way clearer than I am used to… the river and lake near Kataravonia both have rather dark waters… but this… you can completely see through it to the ground below.
Birdsong was surrounding us… well… at least until Nomius killed half of them for food… which rather ruined the beauty of the mont. Lizardn eat a lot it would seem.
We set up the camp… it wasn’t too late in the day and the sun was still shining through a gap in the trees and down onto the water. I took the water skins over to the waterfall to fill them up for the next leg of our journey. Dacus assures that the water here is perfectly safe to drink.
As I filled the skins, I was captivated by the light reflecting off the water as it cascaded down the waterfall. In all my life I don’t think that I have ever been anywhere more beautiful.
Kiyui: “Co on in Tadpole… its lovely.”
Tadwick: “I can’t swim.”
Kiyui: “Don’t worry… it isn’t deep over here… you’ll be able to stand and I can teach you.”
I looked over and yup… he’s naked again. Seriously… I wish he wasn’t so comfortable with nudity. I get that it’s a beautiful place to swim n’ all, but co on… and now Dacus has joined in… for fuck’s sake… and bloody hell… his balls are the size of my fists… by the gods… female lizardn… lizardwon… is that what they’re called? Anyway… the females must be blessed by the father of fortitude to survive sex with those things.
I have to admit… as uncomfortable as the nudity makes … it is sweet to see the way they play about. It has only taken a few minutes and Kiyui has managed to get Tadwick to forget about his worries. He’s now in the water, splashing about. He clearly can’t swim yet but he doesn’t even seem bothered by it… he’s trying his best, bless him. Although… bloody hell… his hair does not respond well to water. It’s all puffed out… it looks ridiculous.
Dacus is swimming about, pretending to be a crocodile and snapping at them. Nomius is probably off killing so more animals for food sowhere… I really dislike this invisibility thing. I an… it’s clearly handy for him in a fight… but I was too scared to shoot any arrows when that scorpion showed up, in case I accidentally hit him… not that I needed to fire any arrows… those two had the situation well under control.
But even when we are having downti like this, he just disappears for ages… I don’t know if he’s here and just enjoying not being bothered… but he could be anywhere and I wouldn’t know… I find it unnerving.
Phoenix: “Are you alright?”
Phoenix had co over and sat down next to … I was so lost in my own thoughts I hadn’t even noticed her.
Phoenix: “You really have no need to be so nervous anymore.”
Dwynfel: “Huh?”
Phoenix: “Everybody knows what you are. Situations like this should not make you nervous anymore.”
Dwynfel: “I know… it’s just… things got a bit complicated back at the farm… when you guys were away.”
Phoenix: “With Kiyui? I thought you guys got on? Is this why you have been so quiet around him of late?”
I haven’t been particularly quiet… have I? I an… sure… I’ve been rather nervous… but… not to a noticeable degree.
Dwynfel: “We do get on… we get on really well… a little too well. When my arms were broken, he did so much for … he was so lovely to … I kinda… started to like him… in a different way to normal.”
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Phoenix: “And you worry he does not feel the sa?”
Dwynfel: “That’s part of it… I think that he was just being nice to … cause he’s nice to everyone. I worry that even if he does like like that… well… what if I lose control and hurt him? I’m a goblin, ya know… we aren’t exactly known for our restraint… I’m terrified that I’ll hurt him. Agaroth says I shouldn’t worry about that and should just “get so fucking in” because I have self-control. But I don’t know, what if I get a taste for it and can’t stop… and on top of all that, the last person I liked in this way has just died and I don’t know how to deal with that.”
I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks. Oh gods… please don’t let the others see. I find I’m crying entirely too much recently.
Dwynfel: “I just… I don’t know what to do…”
Phoenix: “One step at a ti Dwynfel. There are no easy answers to anything that you have just said. I know how much you cared for Tilda. What happened was a shock for all of us. Nothing that I can say will make you feel better about what happened to her. I can’t tell you that ti will fix it either, because it will not. Ti may heal the wound, but the scar will remain. It will always be a part of you. As will her mory. The best thing that we can do for those that we have lost is to rember them as best we can. Rember the good monts, the best tis that we had with them. As long as we rember those we have lost, then they are never truly gone.”
I’ve never really thought of it like that before. I really struggled when my dad died… I lashed out at my mum for so long… then I got so focussed on becoming an adventurer like him that it consud all other mories of him that I had.
When I get ho, I think I need to have a big chat with my mum… I need to properly apologise for how I behaved when dad died… I also just want to talk to her about him… find out more about him outside of the adventuring. And I need to find Chloe. Chloe was with Tilda longer than I was… Chloe will be hurting more than . Of all of us, she should be the most devastated by this.
Then again… what do I even say to her when I find her? It’s not like I can say that I know how she feels… I can’t know how she feels… Tilda was her childhood friend… they grew up together… oh gods… I hate this… I’m so bad at this… I never know what to do or say with social things… shit.
Suddenly I felt sothing brush my arm. I turned to Phoenix and she had taken off her gloves.
Phoenix: “As for your other worries. Whilst I abhor his phrasing, Agaroth is correct. You have the best self-control out of anybody that I have t. You managed to keep your identity hidden for years. You went into that whore house not once, but twice. And you did not lose control. You are far too busy worrying about the fact that you are a goblin that you never consider your humanity.”
She held out her left hand to . It is terribly scarred. It looks like a burn to . It goes all the way up her arm as far as I can tell.
Dwynfel: “Why are you showing this.”
Phoenix: “My scars are the part of that I am most afraid of.”
Dwynfel: “Why are you afraid of them?”
Phoenix: “I am afraid that people will pity . I am afraid that they make appear weak. I am afraid because they symbolise a part of my life that I would rather forget. I look at my burns and I hate myself. Similar to how you look at your skin. You hate that you are green and I hate that I am scarred. But maybe now is the ti that we face our fears.”
I took her hand and we both stood up. Her hand felt… odd, the scarred skin was weirdly smooth and incredibly tight… I think I understand now why she can’t grip with her hand… the skin is so very tight on all of her fingers that if she did bend them the skin feels like it would tear.
She took off her robe and began to unclip her armour. For sobody who can only grip with one hand she is very adept at doing this. I imagine when you have no other option, you pick up these skills pretty quickly. After she had disrobed entirely, she stepped into the water and turned to .
The burn that had engulfed her arm was worse than I had thought. It started on her left hip and went all the way up her left side. Her entire arm and shoulder were burned… the burn ended about half way up the left side of her neck. It curved round her body slightly; the left side of her breast was burned but the burn didn’t quite reach the nipple. What in the na of the mother of rcy happened to her?
Phoenix: “Co… it is ti we embrace who we are.”
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