The Good Goblin 132: The Lizard Returns

It took us just over a day to get back to Kataravonia. We ended up stopping over at the little village with the new church. It ended up being nad after the faith that these people have… so it is Laezel village now. I have to say… it isn’t like any church that I have co across before. It is so… people oriented.

Seriously… it’s weird. The church itself isn’t elaborate at all. It just looks like a standard house. No ornate statues and golden furnishings… the priests aren’t wearing incredibly expensive silken robes with gold embroidery. They appear to be basically wearing rags. All of the money that they seem to receive is spent on food and shelter for those in need. Which has caused them to have a very large number of followers in a small amount of ti.

The village is growing as a result. The church is buying more land to farm… which the massing followers work on in exchange for food and accommodation. It has significantly reduced the number of beggars in Kataravonia, because they have all flocked here. Why spend your days begging to maybe get enough for a stale piece of bread when you can co here and earn a full al.

The churches in Kataravonia could learn a lot from this. They seem more intent on gatekeeping than anything else. The higher ranks of the church always seem to be held by nobles. You can’t be a priestess of the maiden of virtue unless you are a virgin. As if being a virgin has anything to do with virtue. Fuck… I was a virgin until a few years ago and I’m a fucking Grim… I would scarcely class the Grim as virtuous.

All of the churches are things of beauty… only the gods know how much gold has been spent on them over the years. Surely a religion that supposedly cares about its people wouldn’t spend money on such ornate finery when there are still starving people out there?

And the teachings… the Mother of rcy for example, her teachings are all about forgiveness, rcy, etc. These words are ntioned constantly… yet all you ever hear the priests talk about is the big list of sins that you shouldn’t be doing. And if you have ever done any of them, you should be showering the church with money and prostrating yourself before them to beg them for forgiveness. Even though most of these so-called sins just seem like basic acts of being human to . The more I think about it, the more these churches seem to be more of a con to gain money and authority than actually help people. No wonder so many are flocking to the church of Laezel.

My disillusionnt toward the faith that I was raised with aside… the village is perfectly pleasant; oddly cold, but otherwise lovely, the people seem very caring and they nicely allowed us to stay in the town hall at no cost… which most villages would not do.

Chloe and her unit were waiting for us when we made it back to Kataravonia. Apparently one of the lookouts had seen us approaching and inford her. Then the difficult part… returning the boys and explaining to their families what happened.

Chloe ended up being the one to take Oscar ho. She said that being a knight, it was her job to break the news to his family. Olmo insisted on going with her so that he could look after Oscar. Which was very sweet of him.

Nomius was upright and mobile at this point, so he demanded to be the one to take Grant. He had been working closely with Mr. Thistlewood and wanted to give his condolences to Grant’s family. Alexi went with them for translation purposes… as well as for the sake of Grant… who was starting to co out of the initial shock… which ant a lot of tears, crying and clinging. He wouldn’t let go of Alexi… so Alexi was going to have to go, whether we wanted him to or not.

Tristan, Flynn, Robert, and Lucas took Xion, Zayan, Freddy, and Johnny respectively. Which left Charlie, who Phoenix volunteered to escort. She has never batted an eyelid in the boy’s direction before… but she seems oddly caring towards him since the whole crocodile situation.

Farrow and Dietrich offered to go to the guild to fill in the quest completion paperwork and pick up the reward. Which left with Kiyui, Tadwick and Agaroth. I am beyond glad that I didn’t have to break that news to anybody. I cannot think of anything worse. Seeing sobody in that mont of loss… even the thought of it makes feel sick.

Kiyui: “And we are going to the botanical gardens.”

Dwynfel: “What? Why? I’m tired… can’t we all just go ho and collapse?”

Kiyui: “No. Agaroth has sothing that he needs to do.”

Agaroth: “No, a fuckin’ don’t.”

Kiyui: “Yes, you do. You aren’t backing down. You’re going to ask that woman out and I’m not dropping this until you do.”

Agaroth: “Fuck’s sake.”

Dwynfel: “Well… you guys do that… I’ll take Tadwick ho.”

I took Tadwick’s hand and we went to leave, but Kiyui grabbed my other hand.

Kiyui: “You guys are coming to.”

Dwynfel: “What? Why?”

Agaroth: “Aye. The fuck are they needed for?”

Kiyui: “Because I’m not standing around listening to you two get all romantic. I’m shoving you in the door, then we can have a lovely stroll through the beautiful gardens and get sothing nice from the café. After what you guys have just been through, I think you need a reminder that the world can still be beautiful.”

To be fair… that does actually sound quite pleasant. I do like the café in there… and it is a wonderfully vibrant place. I really don’t go there often enough. Once we arrived, we walked towards the far end, where Dacus’ cottage was. It is a lovely little cottage… and the ceilings are actually pretty high… which is helpful for Dacus.

Kiyui dragged Agaroth over to the cottage and Tadwick and I started wandering about the garden, waiting for Kiyui to co back. There is a wonderful oak tree at this side of the gardens… it’s huge… must have been here for years upon years. Pretty sure the gardens were built around it. Holy shit it that Verity up there? How the fuck did she get that high? Oh gods… shit… I should try to get her down. I went to start to climb the tree when a large hand appeared on my shoulder.

Dacus: “Do not worry for her, she will be fine. The tree is strong and she has abnormally good balance.”

Tadwick instantly jumped up, wrapped his arms around Dacus, and hugged him.

Tadwick: “Dacus!”

Dacus wrapped one arm around Tadwick.

Dacus: “Nice to see you too, boy.”

Dwynfel: “When did you get back?”

Dacus put Tadwick down and smiled.

Dacus: “Yesterday. I would have visited you, but Chloe inford that you were all away on a quest.”

Dwynfel: “Sha you didn’t get back a bit sooner. We could have done with you out there.”

Tadwick: “I killed a crocodile!”

Here we go again. I can fully see him taking full credit for this when Charlie and I aren’t present.

Dacus: “Did you?”

Dwynfel: “Not by himself.”

Dacus: “Impressive, but are you not a little young to be questing?”

Dwynfel: “He wasn’t… he was camping…”

Dacus: “He was camping… nearby? And he killed a crocodile?”

Dwynfel: “That is a very abbreviated version of events… but yes.”

Dacus: “But they are not indigenous to this area.”

Dwynfel: “We know… look… we’ve been through this like five tis with other people already over the last couple of days… can we move onto sothing else? How was your trip ho?”

Dacus: “Exactly what I was expecting it to be. The travel ti was significantly reduced due to…”

He glanced at Tadwick then looked back at with a raised eyebrow.

Dacus: “…not having anything to slow down.”

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Dwynfel: “Did you end up going through port Thalassic?”

Dacus: “No. I travelled through the remains of the Uddin Empire.”

Dwynfel: “What? We all agreed not to provoke Flora.”

Dacus: “There was no provocation. I simply passed through the outskirts.”

Dwynfel: “Yeah, but she’s insane! You don’t know what she’ll class as provocation.”

Dacus took a deep breath as if he knew that I would react this way but really couldn’t be arsed to deal with it.

Dacus: “Flora is nothing if not reactionary. As I have said… many tis… respect her creations and she will have no qualms with you. Everything harmful that she has done has been a reaction to a perceived slight.”

Dwynfel: “Dacus… she massacred an entire castle of people… and probably would have killed the entire city if they hadn’t evacuated!”

Dacus: “I never said her reactions were asured or appropriate. Simply that they were reactions. She allowed to pass without incident both travelling there and back. Although, it turns out that I needn’t have bothered. I went that way to avoid the Thalassic clan. Turns out that my clan has since ford an alliance with them. So, I could have used the Thalassic port without incident.”

Dwynfel: “So why didn’t you on the way back?”

Dacus: “Because I had already arranged with Vance to be picked up from the Uddin dock.”

Dwynfel: “Just… don’t ntion that you were there to Svampe, please. How was your ceremony?”

Dacus: “It was fine. The ceremony itself was brief. Mostly just an excuse for the entire village to drink and enjoy themselves. But I am a man now, so my visit has served its purpose.”

He stood up tall… tensed his muscles… and in all honestly… he looked resplendent. If I didn’t know better, I would think him a god.

Dwynfel: “Do you really need a ceremony to establish yourself as a man?”

Dacus: “In my culture, yes. And I need to be a man in order to be betrothed, so…”

Dwynfel: “Wait… what… you’re… betrothed? Is this an arranged marriage thing or sothing? You’ve not lived there for five years… it’s not like you could have been dating anybody.”

Tadwick: “What does betrothed an?”

Dwynfel: “Engaged to be married.”

Tadwick: “You’re getting married?”

Dacus rolled his eyes.

Dacus: “Yes, I am betrothed. Yes, I am going to be married. No, it is not an arranged marriage. No, it is not sobody from my village. Cathy and I are to be married. That was why I left when I did.”

Shit… shit… misread the situation… shit… Agaroth is asking Cathy out as we speak… shit… gotta stop it. I turned to rush towards the cottage.

Dacus: “Where are you going?”

Dwynfel: “Kiyui has talked Agaroth into asking Cathy out. We thought the whole relationship thing was just a sham so that Cathy could stay in the cottage with you. I’m so sorry… we didn’t realise.”

Dacus burst out laughing.

Dwynfel: “What’s so funny?”

Dacus: “It is a sham. He is welco to her. There is nothing sexual going on whatsoever.”

Dwynfel: “Okay… you must be really dedicated to the illusion if you are planning on getting married though.”

Dacus: “It will be an open marriage.”

Tadwick: “Err… if you’re getting married… does that an I have to wear another one of those awful suits?”

Dacus: “Panic not. Our wedding will not be anything like that. We are simply going to go to the courthouse with a couple of witnesses. No need to dress up.”

Tadwick: “Yay!”

Dwynfel: “Why bother getting married? The faux relationship has been enough so far.”

Dacus pointed upwards.

Dacus: “For the child.”

I looked up to see Verity rocking back and forth between two branches halfway up the oak tree and bloody hell…

Dwynfel: “Umm… Dacus… you do realise she isn’t wearing anything on her lower half?”

Dacus: “Yes. She started doing that when we trained her to use the privy. She uses it perfectly now, and we are very proud. It is a trendous step forward for her. And it saves a lot of laundry. The problem is that when she does, she removes everything from her lower half and refrains from putting anything back on. That’s why we started putting her in dresses. It makes it fractionally less obvious. Or at least it would if she didn’t climb trees so much.”

Dwynfel: “Well, shouldn’t we put her stuff back on or sothing?”

Dacus: “She is fine.”

Dwynfel: “But this is a public place… people might see.”

Dacus: “She’s been doing it for over a year now. Nobody cares anymore. The thing with nudity, Dwynfel, is that it is only shocking if you are not used to it. If we were in Sawtooth village, she wouldn’t even be wearing the dress and nobody would glance twice.”

This isn’t sawtooth village though… they can’t just let her expose herself like that… surely.

Dwynfel: “But… won’t people complain and stuff.”

Dacus: “Of course. So idiots did initially. But I am in charge of this place now. If people are offended by such things, then they do not have to co here. If they seek out offense then they lose the right to be offended when they find it. My gardens are a place of outstanding natural beauty, and nothing is more natural than the absence of clothing. I have placed signs that stress that clothing is optional here. When the weather is hot, I do not wear clothing in the gardens, nor does Verity.”

Tadwick: “It’s true, they don’t.”

Dwynfel: “And you would know this, how?”

Tadwick: “We co here to play quite often. It’s great for hide and seek. Dacus even gets us free drinks when it’s hot.”

Dacus: “The boys rarely bother with clothes when they visit.”

Tadwick: “It’s true, we don’t.”

Fuck’s sake, why doesn’t that surprise .

Dwynfel: “And nobody takes objection to the giant naked lizardman and the horde of naked children?”

Dacus: “As I said, nobody cares anymore. The novelty wears of quickly. If anything, it seems to have attracted so people. Human civilisation appears to have this strange tendency to sexualise nudity. When I first took over this place, I was propositioned by many won… and a rather strange man by the na of Doncaster… simply because I did not have my clothes on. Those people have dwindled now that they realise that it is not a sexual invitation on my part.”

Does he seriously just wander about this place, gardening, in full view of everybody, with absolutely nothing on.

Dwynfel: “Does lady Vermillion know about this?”

Dacus: “Chlamydia cares not. Her interest in this place lies in the botanical research, nothing more. What I am saying is that the more people see these things, the less sexualised and interesting they beco. It eventually just becos a part of everyday life and nobody even registers it anymore.”

Tadwick: “I don’t know what sexualise ans, but loads of the guys were well shocked when they first ca here and saw Verity like that. Now, nobody even ntions it.”

Dacus: “You see, nobody cares… so leave the girl be.

Dacus gardening in the buff is one thing… but girls… girls have other issues that need to be taken into account.

Dwynfel: “But… umm… what about… you know… when she starts… you know… she is twelve.”

Dacus: “Starts what?”

Dwynfel: “Her… period.”

Tadwick: “Period of what?”

Dwynfel: “Kiyui will explain that to you later.”

Absolutely no way am I explaining periods to Tadwick… that is definitely a Kiyui job.

Dacus: “You an the perfectly natural female bodily function that this society, that you live in, for so reason feels the need to conceal and sha females for?”

Dwynfel: “Not how I would have phrased it… but yes.”

Dacus: “We will assist her as she needs, in the way that causes her the least distress. Not in the way that makes the ntally deficient feel less uncomfortable.”

Dwynfel: “Yes… but…”

Dacus: “I have been working on different redies to assist with such things. So far, I have found that ginger and dill seem to reduce the cramps and large quantities of cinnamon during the first few days seems to reduce blood flow and nausea. I have also found a particularly absorbent type of moss for females who wish to keep blood off their undergarnts. These items are reasonably priced in the foyer on your way out… for when Alexi requires them.”

I know he has a tendency to think ahead, but I certainly wasn’t expecting this level of forethought.

Dwynfel: “I’ll bear that in mind, but you know that’s not what I ant.”

Dacus: “I know exactly what you ant, and I refuse to impose that ridiculous societal sha on the girl. I have gone out of my way to make this a safe space for her to be in. And I shall have you know that lots of humans seem to appreciate this space as a result. When the weather heats up, many humans have even taken to strolling naked through here, having picnics and just generally being free. It seems we have started a trend. I have even noticed a few other children like Verity showing up. It would seem that a place where these children can be themselves is a rare thing around here.”