Canillas was unwilling to be used as a political pawn between the two kingdoms, but he was more unwilling to be bound in a marriage, especially with a noble lady that ca far from his holand, Archess.
He was aware that since he decided to join the imperial army, where the highest control of military command was in the hands of King de la Roca, he could not avoid any political arrangent that was set for him. It was not only implented for him but also for any soldier who had chosen the life path to dedicate their lives for their motherland.
However, marriage was another issue, and he did not want it to be used to control his life.
Canillas was a typical independent and free-spirited person whose life had been spent individually without anyone clinging to him, and he tended to avoid soone who clung to him. And it was not without reason, as he had a goal that he wanted to achieve.
What had grown in his mind that had beco his principles in life was achieving his ultimate goal without anyone disturbing him. He did not want to face the risk that what he had set to reach his goal would be ruined because of the factors that he had avoided so far in his life.
And to achieve his goal, he could not share his priorities and emotions with anything, and marriage was one of the factors that he believed would alter everything that he had set firmly.
In his perspective, marriage was sharing life with soone else, and he should be ready to share priorities and perhaps emotions with the woman who had beco his wife. It also ant that he could not use his whole ti for himself to focus on his goal as he used to, and it was a change that Canillas wanted to avoid.
He had spent over half of his life living the harsh life of a soldier. Many of his days had been spent outside his ho, even outside Archess, as an expedition or war could take months.
His mother was used to the life of the wife of a soldier. Hence, she looked fine with his absence at ho and did not cling to him, although he knew that she was worried about his wellbeing, especially when he had to leave for war.
Aside from that, his mother knew his characters and personalities quite well, which made her prevent herself from poking him unnecessarily.
However, to indulge in marriage, to have a bond with soone foreign to him, whose characters and personalities were unfamiliar to him, was sothing he could not imagine going deep into, and he had no ti to adjust to that kind of demand.
Further than that, it had co into sothing that he had to avoid more when the King announced that he would marry one of the noble won of Terra.
A foreign woman and a nobility. Those were two variables that were enough to give him a reason to turn down the marriage proposal if he had any option to choose.
He was not sure if he could be patient enough to coax the spoiled nobility, who had spent all her ti in a luxurious and leisurely life.
Could she endure her life as the wife of a soldier? Could she accept life as a wife whose husband spent most of his ti away from ho? Canillas pondered.
He was not a noble man who had the sa frequency in her kind of life. His life was harsh, and Canillas was not sure if she could bear the life of a soldier’s wife.
And Canillas was not willing to spend his ti coaxing or soothing that noble wife if she happened to be demanding sothing, including his presence, and could not accept their marriage condition.
To adapt to sothing new that he viewed as insignificant to sacrifice for was also sothing that Canillas avoided.
But the marriage decree was issued by the King, and he could not turn it down, regardless of how many reasons he laid out in order to make the marriage decree cancelled. Because only the King himself could reject any proposal from any parties that he viewed as having no benefit for his reign.
Even if he could reason out what was most sensible based on his point of view—that none of the ladies t his preferences—the King would highly likely laugh in mockery at him. A mockery for an arrogant commoner who declined a noble lady from the reputable aristocrat in Terra as wife.
Hence, sitting at the table in his room, he reluctantly unrolled the first of the two golden parchnts that lay next to the burning candles.
When he noticed how much effort was made by the King of Terra to hook him as his pawn, the corner of Canillas’ lips curled up.
King Ordoba de Montella seed very resolute in making him one of his people. He tried to please him while making him have no reason not to choose one of his people, as he had provided two scrolls of parchnt with many nas of Terran ladies, even the nobilities, for him to choose.
Even the parchnts were designed as luxuriously and elegantly as the emblem of the golden lion that the kingdom proudly showed off, as if attempting to apprise him that Terra had imnse respect for him.
If the King of Terra was not in a hurry to bind him as his pawn, he would probably have handed in the paintings of all the ladies whose nas were listed on the parchnts. Canillas’ lips curled up more at the thought.
As the parchnt was rolled open, the feminine nas that were written neatly on the long parchnt were laid barely before his eyes under the illumination of candles that shone in his dim, cold room.
Without enthusiasm, he read the first na before reading down the list. He still rembered a smirk on his face when he read all the details written as the ladies’ profile background. Everything felt so dull and spoiled.
In his eyes, noble won were typical of spoiled people who only knew about luxury and leisure. They did not know what the aning of a harsh life was, as they had the privilege not to experience the miserable lives of the poor or people below their social class.
Should he choose one of them? Canillas doubted, losing all willingness to read the continuity of what was written on that parchnt.
He did not rember how many nas and the na he had read, as he just skimd it, like passing ti, and he wanted to flip it over even when there were several nas left on the first parchnt he rolled open. But he chose to continue reading it, as he preferred to finish what he had started, and he should make a choice at any occasion.
Na after na, he read in a blink of an eye, and his enthusiasm was not with him until his eyes landed on one na, the na that made him not read it in a blink of an eye, as he did not blink while he stared at that na.
Joanna de Lara.
It was the na that filled his sight, and Canillas pronounced that na internally to unknowingly feel unease inside him.
Joanna de Lara
But he ntioned that na again, still in his mind, and the uneasy feeling was still there.
Joanna de Lara.
As if he wanted to feel more, he brought the na throughout his voice. He whispered that na, and the uneasy feeling was there again, becoming more vivid, feeling like a tug in his heart.
Joanna de Lara.
But he did not stop, as he wanted to know if he felt right, or perhaps he was enchanted by the na that made him want to sing the na through his voice.
Joanna de Lara
He whispered over the na again and again, ignoring the uneasy feelings that got more unbearable with ti. But he could not stop, although his heart felt like it was being squeezed as the seconds passed.
Joanna de Lara
His whisper over the syllable after the syllable of the na that he pronounced through his mouth was heard like a whisper of wind that shattered the tranquility in the room. And he was not aware of how many tis he spelled that na and how long he had his eyes nailed on that na.
Only the candles, which were now half left and stood beside the parchnt, flickering from the lting of his breath that slipped out of his lips with the cold breeze that seeped through the slightly open window, beca the witness to how long he revolved around that na.
And he kept staring at that drawn na until his consciousness told him that he had spent too much ti on that single na. Then he decided to move on, reading the na below that na.
But before he read the first initial on the next na, he had his gaze up. His eyes quivered, filled with the na that he had just left.
Joanna de Lara.
The indecipherable feelings that sward in his heart grew stronger, making him unable to voice that na again, as if there was a lump in his throat that felt like choking him.
But he kept staring at that na, even bringing his trembling fingers to softly caress that na, following every script that elegantly drew that na.
Joanna de Lara.
But then he pulled his trembling fingers away from that na. Leaning against the back of the chair he was sitting in, Canillas closed his eyes as if wanting to break the cord of the spell that was cast on him through that very single na.
Bringing his trembling fingers to brush his hair, Canillas steadied his rapid breath, which had been unknowingly there since he closed his eyes, away from the na.
It was probably a premonition, telling him to avoid that na, not choose that lady, and stay far away from her.
But the very next day, after passing a sleepless night, Canillas cut through the cold morning winter mist, galloping straight to the castle. He asked for an audience with the King, telling the King that he had made his choice.
Joanna de Lara.
It was the lady that he chose to be his wife for the rest of his life.
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