Back at ho, Inadu was writhing around in bed in utter agony.
Her body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, causing her nightgown to cling to her body.
She thrashed so violently that she ended up rolling out of bed, and subsequently woke herself up from the agonizing nightmare that had been tornting her for the last couple of nights.
She finally sat up and sobbed so violently that her entire body was wracked with convulsions.
A retching sound escaped her throat and she vomited up what little food that she had been able to keep down.
Their hands.
Even though her mind was fractured during her two years in captivity, sotis her body recalled bits and pieces of it when she was unconscious.
And because the mind can often play the cruelest tricks, it always reminded her off the most painful occasions.
"Taira…! Taira…!"
Regret had begun to flood her mind as she called out for soone out of instinct.
Inadu wasn't wrong for wanting to be strong all on her own.
But she had underestimated the difficulty of just how much work she had ahead of her.
She hadn't been fair to herself by trying to handle it all alone.
Of course she could not depend on him for everything, but having him as a reassuring support system was so integral that she felt like she could barely survive without it.
She just wanted to be strong for him.
Like his wives and even the best friend that he always talks about.
She didn't want to be seen as a victim who earned his feelings out of pity.
She wanted to him to have feelings for her because she…
At so point, Inadu finally stopped crying and realized she was on the floor, her body a ss.
Feeling embarrassed and more than a little pitiful, she picked herself up from the ground and cleaned up the best she could before making her way to the bathroom.
The bath in the Amarok ho was actually quite nice and spacious.
White tile floors and a large, deep tub provided a nice and comfortable experience.
Water was drawn in from the moat surrounding the compound and brought in here, where it was heated until the bath could double as a steam room.
Inadu got undressed and lowered her body into the water carefully.
If Taira could see her now, he would be monuntally heartbroken.
The baby fat that Enyo, Lucia, and Veril had been trying to build up on her had already started to fall away again, and she was only a couple of pounds away from her ribs being visible.
She hadn't done this on purpose, and knew that her state was a poor one.
However, she just couldn't bring herself to eat since they left.
Nothing seed to taste quite the sa… and her world was noticeably lacking in color and vibrancy.
Ignoring the searing burning feeling from the hot water, she subrged her head underneath the surface and let her entire body sink towards the bottom.
'I have to get better…I can't let him see like this.'
Inadu erged from underneath the surface of the water and inhaled so deeply that her lungs almost burst.
'No, that's wrong… This is not just for him, this is for . I want this too.'
Inadu grabbed soap and a loofa from nearby and started to scrub her skin to cleanse herself of the sweat and sick.
But just like always, she ended up going just a bit too overboard.
Her mind started to get hazy again, and she rubbed her skin until it was raw.
She barely noticed the stinging.
It wasn't until she scrubbed hard enough to draw blood that she realized what she had done, and a grimace ford on her beautiful face.
'My skin… he said he loved my skin, and look what I've done...'
If before Inadu was manic and fractured, now she was just feeling depressed.
She finished bathing not long after that and she crawled out of the tub while wrapping a towel around her body.
She exited the bath and made her way down the hallway back to her room, with a towel wrapped around her slender fra.
She placed her hand on the knob of her bedroom door and prepared to enter it, but a feeling of dread practically overwheld her senses and she couldn't bring herself to step inside.
Glancing down the hallway, she gave a silent apology before heading down a different path.
Entering Taira and the girls' room, she was almost knocked onto her butt by the imdiate feeling of comfort.
They weren't here, but… being surrounded by their things still made her smile.
Several paintings of the girls were hung up on the southernmost wall, and Inadu was captivated by their resemblance to their real life counterparts.
It was easy to see… Taira had put quite a bit of love and ti into these works of art.
Inadu felt a shiver, and she strangely started to feel like the cold from outside was beginning to affect her again.
Though this was likely because she was still wet and dressed only in a bath towel.
"…I will apologize profusely when you get back."
Inadu walked over towards the closet and slid open the doors.
Her eyes settled on a royal blue kimono that belonged to Taira.
It was very pretty and obviously quite well made, but she couldn't for the life of her recall him wearing it.
Which was a sha, because she was sure that he would have looked rather dashing in it…
With a small blush on her cheeks, Inadu reached into the closet and pulled out the robe.
She draped it over herself as best she could and snickered a bit when she realized that it was too big for her.
However, she was unbelievably comfortable.
This kimono slled faintly of him, indicating that he had actually worn it at so point.
She brought the fabric to her face and inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with the sea breeze like scent and giving herself a mild high.
Like a fog was lifting, she gradually started to feel calr and more serene.
And drowsy.
She hobbled over to the bed within the room and fell into it.
Like an insect, she wiggled underneath the covers and made herself nice and comfortable.
And surprisingly, the fog seed to lift further and further.
She could sll all of them in the sheets.
Taira, Enyo, Lucia, Keran, Veril, Aveena.
The people who took care of her and welcod her into their ho without asking for a single thing in return.
Her anchors.
'…My…fami-'
Inadu shook her head hard to dispel the thought before it could take full root.
She always pulled back like this, whenever she felt herself becoming greedy.
If there was one thing she had learned, it was that she should brace herself for things to go wrong so that she wouldn't end up hurting herself too badly.
She grabbed one of the pillows and held it close to her figure before burying her face in it.
Since she was more comfortable here, she was sure that she could sleep without nightmares now.
However… as her eyelids beca heavy, she began to feel like the the of her dreams would shift from anguish to utter longing.
With one person in particular at the forefront of her vision.
'Please co ho soon Taira… I miss you in a way that I cannot explain.'
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