Music Rec: Rewrite the stars By Jas Arthur ft Anne Marie
He didn’t press further but hung up on the call, his calculative gaze studying the phone in his hand. When he looked up, his eyes were glinting with determination.
"Shikera," he called in a low voice. "You are making do this."
He looked down to her phone and unlocked it, blinking at the text that appeared before his eyes. She had probably been writing sothing before switching off the phone and when he unlocked it, he had seen that imdiately.
’Right Decision...,’ her writing was titled. Casting a brief glance up at her, he began reading the text.
’_Do I even know what I’m doing? No...but I really don’t want to waste my ti thinking about it. It’s enough that I know what I want, even if I don’t know the safest way to get it. What do I want...? Him. I want him thinking about every second, minute and hour of his ti even when I’m not here. Is that too much to ask? If it is, then I’ll give up Noah and Dad, they can forget as much as they want but him...i don’t want him to. And the only way to get that is to give him sothing that will make him rember once in a while, doesn’t matter if it’s with hatred or love, joy or sorrow, briefly or longingly. I just want him to think of ...I know it’s selfish of that I’m using the baby for this, but I don’t want to care. I don’t want to care if he doesn’t bother checking up on to see if I ate breakfast, I won’t care if he doesn’t want to stare at even when I work late, I won’t care even if he seems not to need anymore, even if I burden him...I still want him to rember for anything. And the baby seems to be a good enough reason so I will keep him or her, no matter what it costs.
I love them...Ethan and the baby__"
Ethan had his fingers entangled in his hair when he was done, on his face an undescribable expression sat.
"Fuck! Why is that what’s going through her mind?" he asked, the question directed at no one in particular. He could understand Shikera to an extent; anyone who had countless surgeries for one problem only for it to result into another would surely doubt that the next one would work.
She had been disappointed on so many occasions and he understood why she was extrely skeptical about undergoing this surgery, especially when she had her baby and life at stake. But what he could not understand was why she would keep the baby just for him to rember her.
She would not die; he was sure of that. No, he would make sure of that. But even if that happened, there was no way he was forgetting her even if she begged him to.
Her thoughts were just so strange for soone he was sure was only attracted to him. But even if that was the case, since he knew what she wanted now, he would use it against her.
"Not to forget her, right?" he smirked, an idea forming in his mind. He returned the phone to its forr position and walked out of the room.
★★★
A bright smile blood on Shikera’s face, her eyes twinkling at the sight of the set table in front of her. Montarily forgetting that she and Ethan weren’t supposed to be on perfect terms, she shuffled her feet towards the table and pulled a chair out for herself.
"OMG! How did you know I was craving this?" she asked without looking up from the table, particularly the freshly baked bread in front of her.
Instead of answering her question, Ethan inford instead, "They are back."
"Who?" Shikera looked up with a blank stare in her eyes.
"Your father and brother," ca the reply.
"Really? Why are they back so soon? You said we were picking them up today," Shikera asked. Her eyes followed Ethan’s back as he moved along the kitchen island busy with sothing she could not see. "What are you doing?"
"Cooking for you. I rembered the contract with your father isn’t over yet, I still have to take care of you."
Shikera frowned. That was the last thing she wanted to hear at the mont as she was already dreading the mont her father would be inford of her pregnancy. She had felt secure with the contract she tricked Ethan into signing, but he already tore it.
"Ethan, we have nothing to do with the contract our fathers signed. We are—" she tried to speak but he interrupted, turning to face her for the first ti that morning.
"Of course, we stand on a different ground. You have less than 16 hours left to make a decision, Shikera."
With that, he took off the apron hanging around his neck and walked off.
Left alone at the table, Shikera released a loud sigh.
"It’s alright. He made breakfast," she reassured herself.
Few hours later, she found herself at the hospital for her next appointnt with Krystal. Though they had planned to et up twice each week from the next week on, she had been instructed to visit the hospital every day for that week.
"As expected, this doesn’t look good. According to what I’m seeing here," Krystal dropped the bombshell as soon as she ca in.
Shikera shrugged.
"You said it yourself that its expected. Is the baby alright?"
"Yeah, but you aren’t," Krystal replied with a confident tone. "Actually I don’t pity you anymore at this point, it’s probably cause you might have had more painful experiences than this when you were not pregnant. The one I pity is Ethan."
Shikera raised her brows in curiosity, leaning across the desk so she could whisper, "Why do you pity him? You also think this is hurting him more than he shows?"
"I don’t know what you’re talking about but for , I think he’ll have the hardest ti. I an he has to bear seeing you in pain for the next few months and also battle with the thoughts that the only ti you’re free from pain might be when you’re dead. You—"
"When I’m gone! Don’t use that word on ." Shikera cut her off with a glare, to which Krystal rolled her eyes.
She scoffed, "When you cease to breath, you are dead! I won’t sugarcoat that. So back to what I was saying, he’s already angry that such an important information was kept away from him but he can’t even express anger to his satisfaction cause he’s ridden with worry and guilt for you. Worse is that he’ll have to see you everyday in pain and bla himself more."
"I’m being cruel then," Shikera murmured.
"Okay so...you have to keep the twice a week appointnts with , no excuses. You sure you don’t want to check the baby’s gender?"
"No, I might be tempted to chose nas then. If Ethan wants to, I’ll check and he chose the na but if it continues like now," she chuckled, "He’ll probably have to na the baby when he sees him or her."
Shikera stood up and flashed Krystal a smile of gratitude, "Thanks, Krystal. And don’t be worried about . Each day of the past ten years had preparing for the day I leave...no, the day I die, so I’m really not seeing this as a big deal."
"If you say so," Krystal deadpanned. "I hope Ethan stops you before you get too obsessed with this."
"That’s none of your business. Bye, Doctor Alexander!" With a fake look of displeasure on her face, she waltzed out of the office.
She was halfway down the hallway when she suddenly shut her eyes tight, took a deep breath in and turned around to return to the office. She pushed open the door and without stepping in, spoke,
"Actually Krystal, this is more than a big deal to . I might have lived through ten years preparing to die at the very next mont, but it’s hard now. eting him months ago, I wanted to live an extra day and another, but... hoping doesn’t do anything, does it? Just wanted you to know that."
Before Krystal could react, Shikera pulled the door shut as fast as she could and quickened her steps away from the door. The mont she got into her car, her lips parted to release another sigh but she hurriedly stopped herself.
"Enough sighs for the day, Kera. That’s unhealthy for the baby," she reminded herself inwardly. But jeez! What was she to do when she would be seeing her dad in a few minutes and telling him she had broken her promise to him?
Noah took it well, Cyprian’s reaction was average, Ethan...his was not sothing she wanted to talk about but she didn’t want to imagine Liam’s yet.
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