The house is really quiet when I tiptoe down the hallway, my bare feet making soft whisper sounds on the wooden floor. Usually around this ti, Daddy is reading in his study or maybe making a snack, but today everything feels different. Sleepy-different, like the whole house is taking a nap.
’Maybe Daddy is tired,’ I think, clutching my stuffed butterfly—the one Princess Seraphina gave —a little tighter against my chest. ’He’s been working really hard lately.’
I’ve noticed things, even though grown-ups think little kids don’t pay attention. I’ve seen the way Daddy’s shoulders get all tense when he thinks I’m not looking, and how sotis he rubs his forehead like his head hurts. And last night, I woke up because I heard him talking in his study really late, his voice all serious and worried about things I don’t understand.
’Important grown-up things that keep him awake.’
The scary part of my brain—the part that rembers the white rooms and the doctors who never smiled—starts whispering an thoughts. ’What if he’s getting sick of taking care of you? What if you’re too much trouble? What if he’s so tired because having a little girl is harder than he thought?’
I shake my head hard, making my hair swish. Daddy always tells that the an voice in my head is wrong, that it’s just leftover scared feelings from the bad place. He says love doesn’t get tired, even when people do. And I know it’s true because I’ve seen how much everyone loves him.
’Daddy has so many people who love him,’ I remind myself, thinking about all the wonderful ladies who are part of our big, strange family. ’Princess Cecilia always makes sure he eats proper als and doesn’t work too late. Princess Seraphina sings to him when he’s stressed, and she always brings the prettiest toys. Princess Rachel teaches him new magic things and makes him laugh with her funny stories about her experints.’
Then there’s Rose, who isn’t a princess but is just as important. She’s the one who helped design my room and always knows exactly what books I might like. She has the kindest eyes and gives the best hugs, almost as good as Daddy’s.
But my favorite after Daddy is Reika. She was there the night Daddy saved , fighting the scary people who wanted to take back to the white rooms. I rember how fierce she looked, protecting and Daddy both, like a warrior from one of my storybooks. Now she visits almost every day, and she always asks about my drawings and listens to all my stories, even the silly ones.
’Reika understands about being scared,’ I think, because she’s told stories about when she was little and afraid sotis too. ’She knows how to make the scared feelings smaller.’
All of these wonderful ladies love Daddy so much, and they love too because I’m his. Sotis I see them looking at him with soft, worried expressions when they think he’s working too hard or not sleeping enough. They take care of him in different ways—bringing him tea, organizing his papers, making sure he rembers to rest.
’But they’re not here right now,’ I realize with a little frown. ’Princess Cecilia is at so important eting, and Princess Seraphina is practicing for a concert. Rose is visiting her family, and Princess Rachel is doing magic research. Reika is helping with sothing in town.’
’So it’s just and Daddy today, and he’s so tired he fell asleep in the afternoon.’
I pause outside his bedroom door, which is slightly open. I can hear soft breathing inside, the kind that ans soone is really, truly asleep. Not the fake sleep the guards used to do at the facility, where they were always watching even with their eyes closed. This is the peaceful kind of sleep that happens when people feel safe.
’Daddy feels safe here,’ I realize with a warm feeling in my chest. ’Just like I do.’
Carefully, I peek around the door. Daddy is lying on top of the covers, still wearing his day clothes like he just laid down for a minute and fell asleep by accident. His dark hair is all ssy, and there are little worry lines around his eyes even in sleep. He looks younger when he’s sleeping, less like the powerful person everyone says he is and more like just... Daddy.
’He really is tired,’ I think sadly. ’All this grown-up stuff is making him sleepy in the dayti.’
I rember when I first ca ho with him, how I was scared to sleep by myself because I kept thinking the doctors would co take back. Daddy slept in the chair next to my bed for weeks, even though it made his neck hurt, just so I wouldn’t be afraid. He said families take care of each other, especially when soone is scared or tired.
’Maybe it’s my turn to take care of him.’
I think about what each of his girlfriends would do if they were here. Princess Cecilia would probably tuck a blanket around him and make sure the room was the perfect temperature. Princess Seraphina would hum a soft lullaby to help him sleep deeper. Princess Rachel would check to make sure he wasn’t having nightmares with so kind of magic. Rose would bring him a cup of his favorite tea for when he wakes up. And Reika would just sit quietly nearby, keeping watch to make sure nothing disturbed his rest.
’I can’t do magic or make tea or sing like they can,’ I think, ’but I can keep him company. I can make sure he’s not alone.’
Very quietly, I slip into the room. The afternoon sunlight is streaming through the windows, making everything golden and warm. It’s the kind of light that makes you want to curl up like a cat and just be cozy. I rember Reika telling once that sotis the best way to take care of soone is just to be near them, to let them know they’re loved and safe.
I climb onto the big bed as carefully as I can, trying not to bounce or make the mattress move too much. Daddy doesn’t wake up, just keeps breathing that slow, peaceful way. Up close, I can see how long his eyelashes are, and the little scar on his chin that Princess Seraphina says he got from being "young and foolish."
’He takes such good care of everyone else,’ I think, settling down next to him with my butterfly clutched in my arms. ’But who takes care of him when his girlfriends are busy?’
In the facility, no one ever took care of when I was tired or scared. If I cried, they gave dicine that made feel fuzzy and strange. If I was sick, they just adjusted the machines and told to be stronger. But Daddy... Daddy brings warm milk when I can’t sleep, and reads stories when I’m sad, and holds when the nightmares co.
’Maybe that’s what families do,’ I think sleepily as the warm sunlight and Daddy’s steady breathing make my own eyes feel heavy. ’Maybe we take turns being the one who needs taking care of.’
I think about how Princess Cecilia always checks on before bedti, making sure I have everything I need. How Princess Seraphina teaches new songs and tells I have a pretty voice even when I sing off-key. How Princess Rachel shows her magic butterflies and lets help with the safe experints. How Rose reads stories and helps pick out clothes that make feel like a real little girl instead of a scary science project. How Reika sits with when I have bad dreams and tells I’m brave and strong.
’They all love because I’m Daddy’s daughter,’ I realize. ’And they love Daddy so much. We’re all one big family that takes care of each other.’
I scoot a little closer, close enough that I can feel the warmth from his body but not touching in case it wakes him up. He slls like the safe sll that ans ho—a little like the soap he uses, a little like the coffee he drinks in the mornings, and underneath it all, just the sll that’s purely Daddy.
’This is nice,’ I think drowsily. ’Just being close to him. Knowing he’s safe and I’m safe and we’re together.’
My eyelids are getting really heavy now. The afternoon light is so golden and sleepy, and Daddy’s breathing is like the most peaceful lullaby in the world. All the worry feelings from earlier are lting away, replaced by the warm, fuzzy feeling I get when I’m exactly where I belong.
’Maybe when we wake up, I’ll make him a picture,’ I plan sleepily. ’Sothing happy to make him smile. Maybe all of us together— and Daddy and Princess Cecilia and Princess Seraphina and Princess Rachel and Rose and Reika, all having a picnic in a garden with butterflies.’
Just before I drift off completely, I feel Daddy’s arm move slightly, settling gently around even in his sleep. Like his body knows I’m there and wants to keep safe, even when he’s dreaming.
’He really does love ,’ I think with a smile, snuggling closer to his warmth. ’Even when he’s asleep, he wants to protect .’
The an voice in my head tries one more ti to whisper scary things, but it’s getting quieter now, drowned out by the steady beat of Daddy’s heart and the feeling of being completely, totally safe.
’This is what love feels like,’ I think as sleep pulls down into soft, golden dreams. ’It feels like always having soone who wants you close, even when they’re tired. It feels like having a whole family of people who choose to take care of each other.’
And as I fall asleep in the warm afternoon light, surrounded by the safe sll of ho and the gentle rhythm of Daddy’s breathing, I know that tomorrow when we wake up, we’ll still be together. Still be a family. And maybe Princess Cecilia will co visit and bring cookies, or Reika will take to the garden to look for real butterflies.
’Always and forever,’ I whisper in my dreams, the words Daddy always says when he tucks in at night.
’Always and forever.’
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