’Why does Daddy want to change my na?’
The thought kept spinning around in my head as I buried my face deeper into Daddy’s shirt, feeling his warm hand stroking my hair. My chest hurt so much, like soone was squeezing my heart with cold fingers. The tears just kept coming no matter how hard I tried to stop them.
’He doesn’t want to be Luna anymore.’
Luna was the first thing that was really, truly mine. Not like the butterfly toy that Princess Seraphina gave , or the pretty clothes that Rose bought, or even the room at the palace that Princess Cecilia prepared. Those were gifts from people who loved Daddy, so they were nice to too.
But Luna... Luna was different. When Daddy asked what I wanted to be called, I got to choose. . Little old who had never been allowed to choose anything before. Not what I ate, not what I wore, not what I did, not even when I slept. Everything had always been decided by the doctors and the guards and the people in white coats who looked at like I was a thing instead of a person.
’But Daddy asked what I wanted.’
I rembered that mont so clearly. When he asked what na I wanted. Like my opinion mattered. Like I mattered.
I had looked out the window at the night sky, at the beautiful moon hanging there like a silver coin, and I thought about how the moon was always there even when you couldn’t see it during the day. Always watching, always gentle, always beautiful. I wanted to be like that. I wanted to be Luna.
’And now he wants to take it away.’
The scary thoughts started creeping in, the ones I tried really hard not to think about. Maybe Daddy was getting tired of . Maybe he realized I wasn’t special anymore now that I couldn’t do magic or fight bad people or be useful. Maybe he was starting to think I was useless as a normal little girl who couldn’t do anything important.
’Maybe he’s going to send away.’
I squeezed my eyes shut and hugged Daddy tighter, trying to make the terrible thoughts go away. But they kept coming anyway, like monsters under the bed that got bigger in the dark.
Before Daddy found , I was valuable because I was strong. The doctors always told how important I was, how special my power made , how much they needed to be perfect. Even though they were an and scary, at least I knew why they kept around.
’But what if I’m not worth keeping without my power?’
I knew Daddy wasn’t like the doctors. He was kind and gentle and he read stories and braided my hair even when he was bad at it. He never made feel like a weapon or a tool. But what if he only started caring about because he felt sorry for ? What if now that I was just a regular little girl, he didn’t need anymore?
’What if changing my na is the first step to making disappear?’
"I don’t want to be soone else," I whispered into his shirt, my voice all wobbly from crying. "I want to be . I want to be Luna."
The na felt so important, like it was holding all the pieces of who I was together. Without it, what would be left? Just a scared little girl who used to be strong but wasn’t anymore. Just soone taking up space in Daddy’s life when he had so many important things to do.
I felt Daddy’s arms tighten around , pulling closer. His voice was soft and sad when he spoke.
"Oh, sweetheart," he said, and I could hear that he was upset too. "I’m sorry. I didn’t an to make you cry. I would never want you to be soone else."
But that just made cry harder, because now I was making Daddy sad too, and I was supposed to be a good girl who didn’t cause problems.
"I’m sorry," I hiccupped against his chest. "I’m sorry I’m crying. I know you have important things to do and I’m being silly—"
"Hey, no," Daddy said firmly, lifting my chin so I had to look at him. His blue eyes were serious and kind, just like always. "You are never silly for having feelings. And there is nothing more important to than you. Nothing."
’But what about saving the world? What about the scary thing Tiamat told us about?’
"But you have to get really strong to fight the bad thing," I said, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. "And I can’t help anymore because I’m not special. I’m just... normal."
Daddy’s face did sothing complicated, like he was feeling too many things at once. "Luna," he said, using my na like it was the most precious word in the world, "look at ."
I sniffled and looked up at him.
"You are the most special person in my entire world," he said, and his voice was so serious that I almost believed him. "Not because of any power you had, not because of what you could do. You’re special because you’re you. Because you’re kind and brave and smart and funny. Because you make smile every single day. Because you’re my daughter."
’My daughter.’ The words made sothing warm bloom in my chest, pushing back so of the cold scary feelings.
"But I can’t do magic anymore," I whispered. "I can’t protect you or help you fight. I’m just... little."
"Do you want to know a secret?" Daddy asked, leaning down so we were nose to nose. "The strongest magic in the world isn’t the kind that breaks things or hurts people. It’s the kind that fixes them. And you, my brave girl, you have more of that magic than anyone I’ve ever t."
I blinked at him, confused. "I do?"
"You made want to be a better person," he said softly. "Just by existing, just by being yourself, you changed my whole world. You made Reika smile more. You made Cecilia want to protect sothing precious. You made Seraphina buy toys and worry about bedti stories. You turned all of us into a family."
The warm feeling in my chest got bigger, like a little sun growing brighter.
"That’s not magic," I said, but I didn’t sound as sure anymore.
"It’s the most powerful magic there is," Daddy insisted. "It’s love magic. And you’re the strongest love-magic user I’ve ever t."
I giggled a little bit despite the tears still on my cheeks. "Love magic sounds silly."
"Love magic," Daddy said with complete seriousness, "is what makes people want to save the world in the first place. Without it, being strong is just... being strong. But with it? With it, you can make people want to be heroes."
I thought about that for a minute, curled up safe in Daddy’s arms while everyone else watched with gentle faces. Maybe I couldn’t fight monsters anymore, but I could make Daddy smile when he was tired. I could help Reika rember to laugh. I could give Princess Seraphina soone to take care of.
Maybe that was important too.
"You really won’t send away?" I asked in a very small voice. "Even if I’m just normal now?"
"Never," Daddy said, and his voice was so fierce that it scared away the last of the cold feelings. "You could never do another magical thing in your entire life, and I would still love you exactly the sa. You could turn into a frog, and I’d love you. You could beco the world’s worst student or the ssiest eater or the loudest singer, and I would still be proud to be your daddy."
"Even if I sing off-key?" I asked, because I knew I was a terrible singer.
"Especially if you sing off-key," Daddy said solemnly. "Off-key singing builds character."
I giggled again, and this ti it felt real. "You’re silly, Daddy."
"I’m your daddy," he corrected. "Being silly is part of the job description."
I snuggled closer to him, feeling much better. The scary thoughts were still there a little bit, but they felt smaller now, like shadows that weren’t so dark anymore.
"About your na," Daddy said gently, and I tensed up again. But he kept talking before I could get scared. "I wasn’t trying to take Luna away from you. I was thinking that maybe you could have a na that was even more special. One that only belonged to you, that no one else in the whole world had."
"But I like Luna," I said, though I wasn’t crying anymore.
"And Luna is perfect," Daddy agreed. "But what if we found you a na that was like Luna, but even more you? Sothing that captured everything wonderful about who you are?"
I considered this. It did sound kind of nice, having sothing that was completely mine. "What kind of na?"
"Well," Daddy said thoughtfully, "Luna ans moon. And you love the moon. But what else do you love?"
"Stars," I said imdiately. "And butterflies. And flowers. And stories. And you."
"What about all of those together?" Daddy asked. "What if we found a na that ant all the beautiful things you love?"
I thought about it, imagining a na that was like the moon and stars and butterflies all mixed together. "That sounds pretty."
"I know a na," Princess Seraphina said softly, speaking up for the first ti since I started crying. "In the old elvish language, there’s a word: Stellaria. It ans ’star flower’ - a flower that only blooms under moonlight, and butterflies love it because it glows softly in the dark."
"Stellaria," I repeated, testing how it sounded. It was musical and pretty, like tinkling bells. "It’s long."
"But you could call yourself Stella for short," Daddy suggested. "Stella Nightingale. Stella ans ’star’ - the brightest star that guides people ho safely."
Stella. It felt different on my tongue than Luna, but not bad different. Like putting on a dress that was fancier but still comfortable.
"And Luna could still be part of it," Daddy continued. "Maybe Stella Luna Nightingale. So you’d have both - the moon you chose, and the star that’s all yours."
"Stella Luna," I whispered, and sothing about it felt just right. Like finding the perfect puzzle piece. "So I’d still be Luna, but also Stella?"
"You’d be both," Daddy confird. "Everything you were, plus everything you’re becoming."
I sat up straighter in his lap, thinking about it. Stella Luna Nightingale. It sounded like the na of soone in a fairy tale, soone who went on adventures and helped people and maybe sang to butterflies in moonlit gardens.
Soone who was special just for being herself.
"Can I really be Stella Luna?" I asked.
"You can be whatever you want to be," Daddy said, kissing my forehead. "That’s what makes you magnificent."
I smiled, feeling the last of the scary feelings float away like dandelion seeds in the wind. "Then I want to be Stella Luna Nightingale. Because stars are beautiful, and the moon is beautiful, and I want to be beautiful too."
"You already are," Daddy said softly. "Inside and out."
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