It was a sunny day. Even though we were so close to the end of fall and the beginning of winter... it was hot today.
I couldn’t stop clenching my fist, my teeth, because what I felt as I looked at the grave I was standing in front of was just... anger.
I turned my eyes to the others.
Celine... had one of the blankest looks I’ve ever seen from her.
Julian... kept clenching his fist, just like . His eyes were narrowed, his lips straight.
Lucia usually only smiled or had a serious expression. This ti, though... she looked like she was in so kind of pain.
Apart from my friends, there were a few other people accompanying .
Rector lany, for example.
Crown Prince Lucas, although I have no idea why he’s here.
And in front of us... Aiden.
While everyone else was dressed in black... he was wearing a gray suit, although I don’t know why. But neither I nor anyone else comnted on it.
I couldn’t see his face. He was crouched in front of the grave, his face down, and all he did was... wait in silence.
So... first Rector lany and Prince Lucas left the grave. Celine, Julian, and Lucia waited in silence for quite a while. But they too had to leave after a short ti. After what had happened, as nobles... they had things to take care of.
They all looked at Aiden one last ti before leaving, but not a word ca out of their mouths.
So... it was just Aiden and in front of the grave with Olivia Sue Gemma on it.
The minutes kept passing. Sotis, random people would pass behind us. So of them recognized us, studied us... and then couldn’t help looking at the na on the grave and getting confused.
But neither Aiden nor I paid any attention to them.
After a while... I finally moved. I walked over to Aiden, and knelt down on the ground to his right, just like him.
"Aiden... I know that whatever I say in this situation will be futile. So... I won’t try to drag you out of here."
I took a deep breath.
"Just... watch yourself, okay?"
I looked at his face out of the corner of my eye.
I could see his gray eyes through his hair... they were above the ground.
They were calm, cold, even.
No... more like...
They were completely empty.
I couldn’t help squinting. I turned away and continued to stand next to him for minutes, and then hours... without saying a word.
Finally, as the night slowly began to fall... I had to stand up involuntarily.
Before I left, like the others, I looked at him for the last ti. My gaze traveled over him and the gravestone several tis.
Looking at them from a distance... I realized how lonely they looked.
Sue... had no friends, no relatives. The only people who ca to her grave... were us.
We were the only people she knew.
I paused, realizing my mistake.
No... it wasn’t us.
It was... only Aiden.
We may have been her friends, yes. But... it was only because Aiden was trying to get her close to us all the ti.
From the very beginning... Aiden was the only one who actually helped her.
Sue had no one else but him.
"Aiden…"
Slowly, I turned around, before I started to walk away... I could only say one thing.
At least... I wanted to remind him of sothing he had.
"You’re... not alone, don’t forget."
*******
Emptiness.
Just... nothingness.
In the middle of the night, standing alone, that was all I could think of.
Nothing.
I lifted my head slightly and looked at the na written on the stone in front of .
Olivia Sue Gemma.
It was written on a gravestone.
I picked up my cane from the ground, slowly extended it to the stone, and touched it.
It was real. It wasn’t an imagination or a dream.
It was there.
It was really right in front of .
My eyes narrowed even more, I slowly lowered my cane and put it down beside .
It was because of .
I thought I had set everything up.
I thought everything was perfect.
But I wasted too much ti.
I dwelled on too many things for too long.
I had so much ti to save her, I could have gotten to her much faster.
But I didn’t.
Because I thought I was in complete control.
Why... am I so stupid?
Why... am I so naive?
Why... Why am I so confident?
Hadn’t I learned my lesson when Gurdas died? Hadn’t I matured during the Holar War?
I raised my hands, looked at my palms.
I paused for a mont. My eyes fell on my right hand, or rather... the black-colored glove on it.
I took it off, revealing a hand full of burn marks, but I didn’t care.
A left hand that looked quite ordinary... next to it a right hand that looked like sothing out of a horror movie.
Is this... what I really am?
Soone who looks perfect on the outside, but is an ugly failure in every sense of the word, even if he tries to hide it by covering it up...
I lowered my hands and slowly looked up at the sky this ti.
Seconds passed like this, in silence. Then... I reached for my emotions.
My vision slowly turned purple, my body suddenly strengthened many tis over.
It was even easier than before.
It answered my call almost imdiately.
"So... are you here now?"
I clenched my fist, my lips twitching as I stared at the sky in disgust.
"Just because I exceeded my limit... even though you knew my every desire, my every feeling, my every thought... all that ti, you rejected my every plea... are you coming now?"
Even though you rejected my every plea in those streets... are you here now?
"Primitive... is that it?"
It... did it on purpose.
It prevented from saving Sue, knowing it would happen.
So that I would end up like this.
So that I would want to destroy everything around .
So that it would have sothing to use against the Order, ordea.
And now... it’s deliberately making itself much easier for to use.
"..."
I released the caora from my body, all the pain in my body returned as the world went back to normal.
"I hate you, all of you..."
Nothing... All I just want now is...
Nothing.
But... in spite of that...
>
Such a system notification appeared in front of .
I looked at it with a blank expression. Seconds passed, minutes... even...
And then... my eyes twitched so much that the world beca slightly blurred.
With the deactivation of the Absolute Mind, so many thoughts popped into my mind that I felt like I was going to go mad with rage.
But the entire target of my anger... was the notification in front of .
"Are you serious?"
>
And... with that, I felt as if the last strap in my mind had snapped.
Even now...
Even now...?
My fingernails pierced my palms. The anger building up inside reached such proportions that I couldn’t even blink.
I opened my statistics window, but I didn’t check any of my statistics or skills.
On the contrary, I brought up sothing that had been with for a very long ti, but which I had both saved for the future because I couldn’t find anything to use it for and had relatively forgotten its existence.
It was one of the rewards I received at the end of the dungeon I entered with Alex.
I imagined quickly taking it out of the inventory, but... no item appeared in front of .
Just... a new system window.
My eyes lingered on one of the skills.
I waited for a while, my mind filled with thoughts.
But... it was the last thing I wanted to think about right now.
I didn’t want... anything.
So I didn’t even hesitate.
>
Suddenly, I felt that all the burden on my mind was lifted. It had worked. Enhancing the Absolute Mind... made the whole world quieten and I could relax.
It was... much better.
Not feeling anything... was much better.
I turned off all system notifications, and as I buried myself in the silence of the cetery again... I looked one last ti at the tombstone in front of .
"..."
Seconds.
"..."
Minutes...
"..."
Hours...?
"..."
Just... silence.
Nothing at all.
"..."
But then... even though I was only looking at the na.
"...?"
A wetness appeared in my eyes.
"H- huh...?"
I put my hand to my eye and wiped away the tear.
But it didn’t stop.
"W- why? J- just now..."
I wiped further, I was going to bury my eyes in the sleeve of my suit... but just then, I paused as I saw my arm.
Gray, the color of my eyes.
It was the suit Sue had picked out for .
"A- ah..."
I felt my whole body trembling, tears left my eyes and fell on my arm.
And that’s when I realized the mistake I had made.
"I- I... I..."
>
My lips twitched, I realized I couldn’t form the words properly.
"I’m sorry..."
I shouldn’t have done it...
I shouldn’t have enhanced the Absolute Mind.
I had to... suffer Sue’s pain...
Who am I to try not to suffer...?
Who am I... to deserve not to think about anything?
"I’m sorry... I’m sorry..."
The only thing I deserve is...
"I’m sorry... really sorry..."
Suffering.
But then... even if it montarily stalled... the enhanced Absolute Mind began to intervene with my thoughts.
The thoughts that had been forming in my mind began to disappear one after the other.
And... as my eyes widened, I looked ahead again with a blank expression.
My head fell weakly forward and clenched the grass on the ground with my hands.
I had no right to ask, but still...
I bowed as low as I could in front of Sue like a coward.
"Help... help... ..."
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