Celine... since the start of the second year, had turned into soone who usually imrsed herself in her training.
Which... was understandable. She had created a gap between her and her peers. Now she was trying to bridge that gap in the best possible way.
She was making admirable progress.
She didn’t need anymore.
Then... why am I here?
I let out a deep sigh, involuntarily lost in my thoughts as I stood in front of the door to the training room she was in.
She developed feelings for because of my wrong approach to her. If I had acted a little more correctly, if I hadn’t made her so dependent on ... I wouldn’t have to deal with this now.
Maybe if we had t under more normal circumstances, I might even have accepted her feelings. But this... this was completely against my idea of a relationship.
And now there’s Sue. So... I have to get Celine to give up or redirect her interest in .
Slowly, I put my hand on the door, then gently knocked.
The seconds ticked by... and only at the tenth second did the door slowly open. The person behind it was revealed.
Celine was probably practicing mana, because the mana inside was quite intense. She didn’t look sweaty, but her eyes looked tired.
Although... she didn’t seem surprised to see . As if she already knew I was coming.
Ah, her skill.
"It would have been better if you had said you were coming..."
"Maybe, yeah... Sorry, I ca here on impulse."
Celine looked up and down, then sighed and stepped aside.
I walked slowly into the training room, slumped down in one of the chairs in the corner, and that’s when Celine ca to , closing the door.
"You... look like you want to talk about sothing."
Her expression was flat, her eyes completely locked on mine.
"Actually... yes."
She knew exactly what was going to happen.
Or rather, she could feel it.
There was silence between us for a short while. Neither she nor I spoke. The silence of the training room fell heavily all around.
And then... surprisingly, she beat to it.
"You said ’recognize your feelings first’."
When I realized what she was talking about, I paused, squinted... and swallowed the words I was preparing to say.
"You said you had to do what you had to do as well."
"..."
"I know how I feel, Aiden. I was sure a long ti ago. Say what you want, argue that it’s because you were with all the ti and I couldn’t communicate with anyone but you... I don’t care."
Her lips curled upward, her violet eyes sliding to the floor.
"I... I love you for who you are, not just because you help , but because I know intimately what you’re like. Not just because of my skill, but because whenever I think of you, I think of good mories."
Her fingers intertwined, a lock of her hair fell in front of her.
"But... I know."
She took a deep breath, her eyes squinted, only part of her hair showing through.
"Even though I love you... the feeling is not mutual. Because you like soone else, not . Because you see as a responsibility, you’ve never even thought of loving , you’ve always kept yourself away from the idea so that you could approach better and more truthfully. And I... I understand that. That’s why I’ve accepted it, anyway."
She lifted her head up, brushed her hair aside. Her purple, athyst-like eyes focused on mine again, but this ti... it was who couldn’t look.
"I don’t think I can forget, but I’ve accepted it, so... don’t worry about ."
This ti it was who focused on the floor... and I realized I had nothing to say.
As the seconds once again ticked by, all I could do was... think.
All the ti I spent with her.
From the very beginning.
Since the first ti we t.
No... even before that. All the ti I spent with her before I ca into this world, when I was playing the ga and she was just a ’character’.
I found myself smiling involuntarily. Because... I realized sothing strange.
I... finished the ga a total of one hundred and thirty-two tis.
In order to complete the achievents, while playing as Adrian, I was in a relationship with almost every romantic relationship candidate.
But... after I got the achievent and I was free to do that, I was engaged to one person for the most part.
Celine.
Because she was always the character I liked the most out of all the candidates. Even the first ti I played the ga, she was the character I chose to be romantically involved with.
Ah...
It’s... not that I don’t like her.
The fact that even now I’m so hesitant, that I’m so... silent in front of her... and that I can’t get the words out of my mouth...
It’s only because of that incident that I keep myself away from her all the ti, involuntarily... without thinking.
Rather than seeing her as a responsibility... I bla myself for what happened to her and I believe that I have no right but to ’help’ her.
I keep a certain distance between us on purpose, always.
If... if I had realized this before I got so close to Sue... would I have accepted her feelings?
If... if that hadn’t happened... maybe we would have had a relationship from the beginning.
"..."
I waited for a few more seconds, without saying anything. And... Celine waited too. As if even more aware than I was that I was gathering my thoughts.
And in the end... all I could do was lift my head, look at her, and smile helplessly.
And... she smiled back. Not so much a happy smile, but almost aware of what was coming.
"I’m... in a relationship with Sue, right now."
She didn’t even change her expression.
"And... it’s not that I don’t like her. I... I like her very much."
She kept doing so.
"I’m sorry I made you deal with your feelings like that. I’m sorry... for confusing you. But... a relationship between us is not possible, Celine."
She didn’t shout, she didn’t kick out, she didn’t curse behind my back.
"I know, Aiden. I’ve already said I accept it."
She just...
"So... it’s not that important. I am capable of understanding what is right and what is wrong."
She accepted it.
Much more successfully than .
"You don’t have to worry about , Aiden. I’m... okay, and I’m continuing to be okay, so... you don’t have to feel like you have to help anymore. I just..."
And she gave the brightest smile I’ve ever seen from her.
"I hope we don’t lose touch in the future. Because... I want you to remain my friend, at least."
And... I couldn’t find any answer.
"Of course..."
*******
After I left Celine’s side, as I slowly made my way in the other direction... all I could do was look up at the sky and think.
Celine and I have resolved the issue between us. Both of us accepting each other like this. And... she really seed to have accepted it completely, to have gotten over it. There wasn’t even a hint of sadness or disappointnt that I could see in her expression.
That’s why I thought she was already much more successful than .
Because I... I hesitated.
When I was already in a relationship with Sue.
I actually thought, even for a brief mont, that Celine and I could have a relationship.
How stupid of .
How... naive of .
Thinking that Celine might still need my help... not realizing how far ahead of she was.
I paused, took my eyes off the sky, and turned them to the building I was standing in front of.
But I saw that I was wrong, and I had already made up my mind.
So... I won’t do anything else I’ll regret.
I like Sue, and I’m going to do everything I can to make this relationship a good one.
With that thought in mind, I entered her building, ca to the front of her apartnt... and knocked gently.
The seconds passed one after the other.
But... this ti the door didn’t open.
I knocked again.
And again... it didn’t open.
This ti I pressed the bell, thinking she didn’t hear.
And again... only silence greeted .
I sighed slightly, took a card out of my pocket, and swiped it on the screen next to the door. A few quick ’clicks’ ca from the door. Then it opened a tiny gap.
I put the card in my pocket and pushed the door open.
And at that mont, a sound entered my ear.
A... lody.
A guitar lody.
"Huh..."
I rembered seeing a guitar at Sue’s house. And I rembered her saying she played it occasionally.
And yet... I was surprised by the beauty of the lody. Because I also rembered her saying that she wasn’t that skilled.
I closed the door behind as slowly as I could, but before I went to where she was, I waited for a while, listening to the lody.
It was quite calm at the beginning. It was slow paced, in low tones. It kept following a certain rhythm.
Then the rhythm slowly broke down. The lody started to speed up slightly, the chords beca harsher. The timbre of the guitar beca harsh, sharp. She started to play singular notes in a high tone.
But then it settled down again. It slowed down, softened, cald down. It beca a quite pleasant-sounding rhythm. And finally, it beca so quiet that it almost stopped completely.
There was silence for a short while. Then Sue started playing the guitar again. It was a slightly different version of the sa lody. Each ti she played it, she made adjustnts, creating sothing a little different from the last.
By the fourth ti she played it... I realized that I could feel the emotions in each strum.
Sadness and regret dominated at the beginning of the lody. Towards the middle, regret was more prevalent. But this ti, it was anger that accompanied it, not sadness. Towards the end, when the lody softened again, it was quite similar to the first one, but with completely different emotions. It was calming, more positive. At one point, it sounded so nice... it reminded of those happy rhythms I hear in love songs. But there were a few sudden notes in between that told sothing else. An emotion in the middle of the lody.
Anger...
Or hate.
Finally, I took a deep breath, braced myself, and took slow steps towards the room where she was. The door was slightly ajar, I could see in, and... Sue.
Her room was dark. She was sitting on her bed, her guitar in her lap. Her eyes were completely on the strings. She was about to start the lody again, but she was changing the chords a little bit. She was going to try sothing different.
But then she paused. Her fingers froze in mid-air as she changed the chords. She pushed her ssy hair aside, her dark blue eyes slowly turned towards the door. She looked right at .
I pushed the door slightly wider, exposing myself completely.
She said nothing. Just kept looking at . And I kept looking at her, the sa way.
Finally... only one thing ca out of my mouth.
"I’m... sorry, Sue."
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