Breaking was not the only thing that happened to my fingers.
Slowly, one by one, starting from the outermost part, he tore off all my fingers. He peeled off their skin, and as my cries echoed in the room, I never gave him what he wanted.
Not that I didn't, I couldn't.
How long has it been since I stopped holding back my tears? How long since I started screaming from the pain?
I didn't know, yet I tried to at least keep my consciousness in one piece while it was happening. It was one thing, at least the thought that made keep resisting it.
The sa thing happened to Celine.
It was this thought that made endure this pain a little bit, that made at least remain 'myself' even if I scread.
At least at first.
The dwarf asked different questions as I let go of one finger and moved on to the other. I couldn't answer any of them, even though I wanted to, I couldn't. As the level of pain increased with each finger, countless thoughts ran through my mind.
When will he let go?
Can I bear the pain?
This is just the beginning... What will happen next?
There was one more thing that kept going, or at least trying; Absolute Mind.
As each of my bad, aningless, or unnecessary thoughts was slowly cleared from my mind, I experienced sothing I hadn't experienced in a long ti. I entered a cycle.
As the Absolute Mind tried to erase my negative emotions and thoughts, new ones were added on top of new ones.
My mind cleared, and the world beca aningless for a mont. Then I felt the pain, the thoughts flooded my mind again and I repeated.
When the dwarf finished with my last finger, he poured a potion over again, and the tal thing I was attached to glowed with a faint shimr. I felt so relief, especially with a warmth enveloping my fingers.
I was being healed.
The dwarf pulled up a chair across from . Then he picked up a steaming cup and looked in the eye.
"You're quite an interestin' fella. Normally, for over ninety percent of those who co here, this would've been enough. They'd start chirpin' right away."
He took a sip from his glass. But after a slight grimace of dissatisfaction, he put his glass aside and turned back to .
"Couldn't quite figure out what sort of person you are. Sotis you ponder on sothin', then you go all soulless. You scream and shed tears from pain, then back you go into your thoughts and go soulless again."
As the pain in my fingers slowly faded, the light behind began to fade.
Then the pain returned unexpectedly.
My fingers had not healed. Each one looked misshapen, and the pain was all the sharper because the healing process had been interrupted.
I held myself back from moaning, the presence of the Absolute Mind was still there.
"Anyway..."
The dwarf stood up, then walked back behind .
When I was alone with the gray wall in front of , more voices ca from behind .
The torturing dwarf was deliberately making noises with his tools, this ti trying to choose what to do. It was making more nervous. He was scaring even more.
That was his intention. I knew it, and frankly, it was successful.
"Aha, I found it."
This ti the sound was not a sound of friction. It was the sound of sothing churning. It was a liquid.
The dwarf ca in front of and then, with a smile on his face, showed what he was holding in his hand.
It was a white plastic bottle. Inside was a yellow liquid.
"Ever been hooked on sothin' before?"
Ah...
"This thing's really sothin', ye know..."
He took the cap off the plastic bottle and then, without even waiting a mont, he poured the whole bottle into my mouth.
I tried not to swallow, I tried to spit it out, but he held my jaw still with his hand. I swallowed almost half of the bottle, then the dwarf threw the finished bottle aside.
Soon my vision began to blur and the world began to spin. I heard the dwarf saying sothing, though I couldn't understand it. The gray walls suddenly began to bend and open like the petals of a flower. And behind them, a sky appeared, a beautiful blue sky.
Yet it was all very short-lived. I felt sothing inside my head, inside my mind, a literal wall.
The drug was really strong, so it took a long ti for the Absolute Mind to react. Eventually, it was activated, though. So the lush green grass that had just begun to sprout on the tallic ground withered away. The deep blue sky gave way to gray walls again. Then the body of the torturing dwarf slowly materialized in front of .
For a mont we just looked at each other. Then the dwarf frowned, finally realizing that sothing was not right.
"Hmm? Why are ye here?"
I didn't answer, just stared blankly into his eyes, and the dwarf approached .
"Yer eyes were supposed to be unfocused. Interesting... That thing guardin' yer mind, is it workin' even for this?"
He looked disappointed, really. Muttering, he moved back to the floor behind .
"I'll have to try the others if this ain't workin'... This was the best one, but ain't nothin' to be done."
When he ca in front of again, this ti he made drink another liquid. It didn't cloud my mind. It didn't seem to have any ill effects on it. I wasn't sure what it was, but I didn't want to know.
After giving the drug, the dwarf went behind again.
When he ca back, this ti he was holding a whip covered with sharp thorns.
*******
I gritted my teeth against the new wound in my chest, trying to think of other things as my hot blood trickled down my body, my mind dulled by thirst.
How long have I been here, for example?
No... no. I need to think about sothing else.
It shouldn't be about this place.
When will he give that dicine? I feel like I'm dying... I need it.
No, no, no... Not that either.
Sothing else... Sothing else...
I had an image in my mind, a figure.
What is Clara doing now? She's probably going to school... being a normal, ordinary girl. That's the way it should be.
I felt another wound, this ti near my shoulder. I groaned again, not trying to hold it in, just trying to think of sothing other than the pain.
"Are ye gonna tell now? Ah, and by the way, if ye try lyin', I'll know. So don't even bother with that."
I opened my mouth, and then my mouth closed by itself and I smiled slightly.
I can't tell even if I want to...
Isn't that... Isn't that unfair?
"So ye need to co round a bit more, it seems."
The dwarf glanced behind , then sighed.
"Anyway, it's been a while."
He ca close to again and looked at my body for a while. Then he tensed and punched hard in the head.
*******
I realized I was being made to drink sothing.
Despite my dry throat, despite my stomach that felt like it was on fire, I let myself drink the liquid without thinking whether it was water or not.
I couldn't recognize what it was at first, but then I rembered where I was and my eyes widened as never before. I tried to cough, rejecting what passed down my throat, but I had already swallowed a large amount of it.
Coughing, I turned my blurred eyes in front of , trying to see who it was.
There was soone different from the dwarf from before. His ocean-blue eyes made feel for a mont that I was looking at Julian. However, with his short stature and broad shoulders, this thought instantly left my mind.
Without saying a word, the dwarf moved behind to where the different tools were and left in the unknown again. Then I felt a montary pain in my neck, brief, but enough for to realize what it was.
It was a syringe.
After a while, I felt myself getting warr, I stood still and gasped for breath. The copious amounts of sweat that ca with it were an added bonus.
My body temperature continued to rise and sweat continued to pour out of . And then the dwarf from before was in front of again. He smiled slightly, raised his hand, and touched my stomach with his index finger.
He just touched it. With the tip of his finger, briefly. Yet it suddenly made shiver. Then, suddenly, an extrely intense pain shot through my whole body and I scread involuntarily.
I felt the place where the dwarf had touched being scorched, the organs under my skin being grabbed and torn apart. Not only my body trembled, but also my vision. Sounds blended together, even my own screams beca aningless.
Was it possible for any living thing in the world to suffer this much pain?
"Heheh."
Happy, he pulled his finger back and touched my shoulder this ti. And this ti, on top of the previous pain, my shoulder started to burn and ache. I felt like I was being split into atoms, I lost track of how many tis I fainted and woke up in a short period of ti before I realized that this 'pain' was the only link between and the world.
It was only a few seconds, only a few seconds.
The dwarf quickly withdrew his hand. Then he smiled broadly and moved quickly behind again.
Sothing suddenly flashed in front of and my tear-soaked eyes widened. Slowly I looked down at my stomach.
There were many scars on my body from the passage of ti. Yet I didn't care much about them. The mont I saw the gaping wound on my stomach, I experienced sothing I had never experienced before.
My whole body trembled with a pain I never thought I would feel in my entire life. I scread, the pain was so intense that I couldn't even scream, but I didn't care. Absolute Mind had stopped working, it had reached its limit and was no longer trying to keep calm.
So the pain was much more intense.
"Tell , tell , co on?"
I wanted to.
I really wanted to.
I wanted with all my heart to give him what he wanted.
And yet, the mont I opened my mouth, I felt as if a hand was covering my mouth, blocking , and then the owner of the hand covering my mouth was standing right behind .
I heard a low chuckle, almost inaudible, and its owner was not the dwarf in front of .
As my tears spilled onto the floor, never able to escape the pain, I wished for sothing I never thought I would wish for in this life.
I wished to die.
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