🔶 Day 6 Private eting with Maria Otonashi – Kazuki Hoshino’s Room
Daiya’s smooth talking must have worked. Koudai Kamiuchi ended up keeping quiet for a day.
However, it’s plain to see he won’t keep himself in check any longer after today. He is unable to completely conceal the thirst for violence within him, and he radiates it to everything around him.
I recognized that dark, black atmosphere like condensed desire in that hidden Master Room.
Daiya has left out one person’s perspective.
Naly, what Maria is going to try to do.
Daiya’s plan requires ti to go into effect. The real Daiya won’t make his move until we’ve run out of rations and are on the verge of being mummified. I know this.
But Maria obviously doesn’t know what he’s planning. As before, she still thinks I’m going to die once ti starts running out.
Naturally, she’s likely going to help win Kingdom Royale so I can survive, since she knows I can’t fulfill my victory conditions unless she perishes.
In short—
—Maria will try to die so that I can win.
I have to get through to her and prevent her from doing this. I’m well aware she isn’t going to cave so easily, though.
That’s why I asked Daiya to coerce Koudai Kamiuchi into holding off.
I couldn’t kill him then. There’s sothing I absolutely need to have Maria witness in order to persuade her.
—The mont I kill Koudai Kamiuchi.
And now, I face off with Maria as she arrives in my room.
What is this?
Now that my objective is so clear to , sothing feels imnsely wrong about Maria. Her profile seems fuzzy, as if my center of focus is off.
“Kazuki.”
As I expected, Maria doesn’t sit next to .
I’m sure she still doesn’t accept that I’m Kazuki Hoshino. As things stand now, she won’t ever recognize with my clarified sense of purpose.
“It seems I need to die after all.”
Unless things change, I won’t be able to put an end to this foolishness of hers.
“As things stand now, I’m only holding you back. You won’t win Kingdom Royale. Thankfully, I’m an NPC, though, so you won’t need to feel bad about it,” she says, perfectly calm.
I let out an involuntary sigh.
Stopping Maria really is next to impossible.
“Maria, you don’t need to worry about that.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to kill Koudai Kamiuchi.”
“—”
She is speechless, but the surprise soon disappears from her face.
“I truly don’t know you anymore.” Maria frowns. “You must be in league with Oomine. That’s why you made such a horrible choice.”
“It’s already decided.”
“…I see,” says Maria, looking away. “I don’t even consider murder to be an option. No matter how effective a solution it may be, it’s inhuman and barbaric. I said sothing to this effect in the Rejecting Classroom… But, well, I guess you wouldn’t rember.”
I’d be lying if I said Maria’s rejection doesn’t affect . But no matter how much it hurts, I can’t turn back.
“Taking your own life is much more twisted.”
“For a human. I’m a Box.”
“Stop using that excuse! You know I would never want you to do such a thing!”
Maria’s eyes open wide at my outburst.
“……Are you still saying that? Why do you keep being so weak? If anyone can do it, it’s you. You can prioritize the normalcy of your daily life over .”
Are you still saying that? she says.
I’m the only one who should be saying that, here.
I begin walking and touch the monitor in front of Maria as she watches suspiciously. A ssage appears.
WILL YOU CUT DOWN KOUDAI KAMIUCHI WITH DEATH BY SWORD?
If this is how it’s going to be, I’ll just have to show her.
I’ll show Maria that I’ve already changed. I put off killing him for a day just so I could do this.
Then I’ll get her to trust the new .
I’ll convince her there’s no need for her to die.
In order to do this, I reach out for the word KILL? appearing over Koudai Kamiuchi’s eyes.
“S-stop!” Maria rushes up, her eyes wide, and grabs my arm.
“………Why?” I honestly didn’t expect her to get this upset.
“…Why what?”
Maria averts her eyes slightly as I ask the question again.
“Why does it bother you so much if I change? I know it’s not good for to do this. But do you need to try to stop it so desperately? It might save both of us, you know?”
I recall my Private eting with Maria yesterday.
“Whoever you are, wearing Kazuki Hoshino’s face—you scare .”
“Why is it so scary for you if I change?”
“……”
She doesn’t answer the question.
“Let tell you sothing. There’s no point in stopping from pressing that button. Even if you put in a full nelson, I’ll just press it as soon as you’re gone.”
“…I know that.”
So she says, but her grip on my arm tightens.
“I an, I stopped you because I’m getting emotional. Okay, I’ll admit it. I don’t want you to change, ever.”
“…But there’s nothing you can do about that,” I tell her quietly.
Maria stares at . “…It would seem so.”
And with that, she releases my arm.
“I can’t stop you anymore.”
I gaze at her, unable to understand why that would be so heartbreaking.
Maria opens her mouth to answer. “Hey, Kazuki. What’s my objective?” she asks with a trace of sorrow.
“To get a Box, right?”
“Correct. I’m trying to obtain a Box. I’m looking for it in order to perfect my wish. The reason I’m with you is because you’ve snagged O’s attention. That’s my excuse.”
“………Yeah.”
“But I’m a Box. I’m not allowed to exist in the normal world. I was never ant to be by anyone’s side. I will destroy the normalcy of that person’s life, so I can’t get too deeply involved. The only reason I can be with you is because I have this pretext for doing so.”
“……”
“You’ve begun to change. I can’t guess what you’re thinking by your face alone anymore. Little by little, we’re losing sothing special… In the end, maybe this was a foregone conclusion. Our relationship began as a by-product of your feelings for Mogi, after all.”
“That’s—”
I stArt_to offer so unfounded protest, but Maria cuts it short with a hand over my mouth.
“I don’t need any benevolent lies. You yourself should be able to tell that we aren’t special anymore.”
“………Ungh.”
“You’re about to kill Koudai Kamiuchi. He may be an NPC, but I know that once you murder soone, there’s no going back to your old values. You’ll change even more. Your peculiar attachnt to your normal life will wane, and you’ll beco like everyone else—unable to fully use a Box. What do you think will happen then?”
Maria tells .
“O won’t be interested in you anymore.”
Her hand is no longer covering my mouth, but I remain silent.
“O going away is a welco prospect. I should be happy for you, too. But in my heArt_of hearts, I can’t truly appreciate the thought. Not because it ans losing my lead on a Box. It’s because if you don’t interest O anymore, then—
“—I’ll lose my justification for being with you.”
After she gives her reason, Maria rests her head against my shoulder.
“If O stops pursuing you, then I’ll have to leave your side. It’s that simple. If I don’t, I won’t be able to complete my mission.”
Oh, so that’s what it is.
Maria has been afraid of this since yesterday—even before that.
Naly—
—saying good-bye.
“Kazuki, I won’t stop you anymore.”
Maria removes her head from my shoulder.
“The truth is, I shouldn’t have stopped you. I have no right to, nor any need to. I thought I knew this whole ti, but still.”
Her smile is kind and resigned as she says:
“Staying together with you was just a fantasy.”
“—”
I turn back toward the monitor, unable to look her in the face.
Underneath the words WILL YOU CUT DOWN KOUDAI KAMIUCHI WITH DEATH BY SWORD? on the screen, my mind adds, Will you accept this good-bye with Maria Otonashi?
“……No way.”
I could never accept that.
What the hell? Protecting Maria ans I have to let her go? I know if we leave each other, she’ll be all alone with her misery. And yet, it’s still the only way?
“I can’t stand the thought of you dying. It pains . I hate it. It hurts. I want to be with you.”
Why am I always so powerless?
I can’t do anything despite knowing Maria Otonashi’s feelings for ……
…Another way must exist. I’m a knight; there must be soone I can cut down to rescue the imprisoned Maria.
Who the hell could ever banish Maria to solitude like this?
I think. Think, think, thinkthinkthinkthink—
“—Ah.”
………So that’s it.
“—Ahhh!”
I know. I finally know my enemy!
Why didn’t I notice? They’ve been so near all this ti. I knew this. I’ve always thought of this person as an enemy!
My confusion dispelled, I reach out for the monitor again. One last ti, I read the words WILL YOU CUT DOWN KOUDAI KAMIUCHI WITH DEATH BY SWORD? and the decision is effortless.
Sure.
The word KILL? is still written across the picture of Koudai Kamiuchi, and I tap it.
“—Oh.” A sigh escapes Maria. “So the fantasy is over.”
“You’re wrong.”
I’ve beco an unabashed murderer, and I am indeed different now.
Yes, the normal life I want to protect is different now.
If that drives O away, and Maria realizes this, I’m sure she’ll try to leave.
But—
“Right now, the Maria here with doesn’t have the Misbegotten Happiness.”
—if things go as planned, she will escape from the Ga of Indolence without ever having to view a Replay.
She’ll never rember this conversation.
She’ll never know this Box changed .
“And a Maria without the Misbegotten Happiness isn’t a Box.”
Maria’s round eyes suggest she’s struggling to grasp my aning.
“During the second ga, I told you it’s my role to protect you when you don’t have your Box. I plan to follow through on that. So I’ll continue to keep you safe from evil.”
“…Evil? Do you an like Koudai Kamiuchi?”
“Yes, of course, but he’s not the greatest enemy.”
My objective has beco saving Maria.
Who has been the greatest hindrance in the Ga of Indolence—since even before?
What odious foe convinced Maria that throwing her life away was her only option?
Maria shouldn’t need my help to survive, per se. Soone with her abilities shouldn’t have much trouble winning Kingdom Royale.
But Maria will absolutely never kill anyone, no matter what. If it cos down to it, she’ll throw away her own life instead. That’s why she doesn’t have the slightest chance of victory in this ga.
As a knight, I once swore I would betray everything, turn all and sundry against , in order to save Maria.
In response, Maria said that with patience as her only virtue, she would await my arrival.
Maria must be aware of her situation, if only just subconsciously. She must know she’s imprisoned. That she can’t resolve her situation on her own.
Who has taken her captive? Who is trying to make her king? Who do I have to strike down to save her?
I finally know.
“It’s Aya Otonashi.”
That is the na of my foe.
I once faced her for a lifeti, and I will fight her from here on.
“I will defeat Aya Otonashi. I will teach her that no despair is too great to be resolved in a normal life. I will show her she doesn’t need to use a Box, and I will defeat her.”
If I do, this won’t be good-bye for us.
C’mon… Don’t bring Maria into this, Aya Otonashi. The only one who can’t be with is you.
“—What are you saying?”
Maria’s eyes are wide with shock.
I can see why she’d react like this. Amid those days of repetition, Maria was able to create Aya Otonashi, the idealized version of herself she longed to beco. Yet, here I am saying I’ll destroy all of that.
“Is that—your way of declaring war on ?”
I smile and reply, “Not at all.”
If I said what I did to the Maria in the real world, it might actually be a declaration of war. And then, if Maria knew my intent, she might leave .
But we’re in Kingdom Royale. Maria won’t retain her mories here.
“I know the Maria from the very first transfer.”
Maria is still gazing at with shock, as if she can’t understand my reasons for suddenly saying such a thing.
“I’ve lost almost all my mories from back then. But I rember a Maria who wasn’t fully Aya Otonashi yet. And I rember what she said.”
I tell her.
I repeat what Maria said back then, standing there on the dais.
“I want soone to stand beside .”
Maria closes her mouth and stares at .
“Maria. You aren’t a Box now. That’s why I want to hear it from you. I want to hear how you truly feel, not as Aya Otonashi but as Maria Otonashi.”
“……Kazuki.”
For just a mont, her mouth softens gently, but a severe expression soon follows. She purses her lips and turns her back on .
“I know more or less what you want from . But I won’t say it. You can tell I’m not Aya Otonashi now all you like, but I can never go back to being who I once was. I thought I wanted to be a Box, and I still do. Saying what you want to say would an rejecting that decision. So—”
She clenches her fists.
“So I can’t say it.”
Maria spells it out:
“I can’t ask you to help lonely Maria Otonashi.”
Yeah.
That’s good enough.
I know full well how you feel.
Now I’m prepared to devote my all to defeating Aya Otonashi.
“You won’t be alone, Maria. I won’t let you.”
Suddenly, a thought pops into my head.
I know the Maria from the first transfer. But the Maria back then was already an owner; she just wasn’t fully Aya Otonashi yet. She was already a Maria possessed of trendous will.
Is that the original “Maria Otonashi,” though?
I don’t think so. The original was probably a much more normal person.
That ans I don’t know the Maria Otonashi who’s just a girl one year younger than .
I don’t know the one from when there were no tis, when she had yet to transfer even once.
That girl is probably still in tears sowhere inside Maria. At the bottom of the sea in Maria’s chest.
All by herself.
That’s why I’m going to see her.
“I’ll go et the zeroth Maria.”
I’ll greet her, bring her back, embrace her, and stay with her forever.
I believe this will be Maria’s definition of happiness, and I’ll make it happen.
Maria has stopped clenching her fists. I can’t read her emotions from her lancholy expression or downcast eyes.
With a deliberate lack of emotion, Maria walks up to unsteadily and presses her head into my chest.
“…I will beco a Box. I will live for the sake of others… That’s why I’m begging you, please just stop this. Don’t try to protect .”
She says this nonsense in a faint voice I’ve never heard from her before.
That’s why I answer, “I understand. I’ll go and et her no matter what.”
“…You…don’t understand at all, do you? I don’t want you to suffer. I don’t want you to suffer by getting involved with . That’s why you should get away as quickly as possible.”
“It’s okay. I’ll stay with you.”
“Leave… Please just leave…”
No way. I can’t comply with that. After all, my enemy is saying it, right?
So, in defiance, I wrap my arms around Maria.
No one would ever call her robust, not even by mistake, but as I embrace her slender form, I’m surprised by how fragile she feels yet again.
But this is the last ti for that.
This is how she should feel. Maria Otonashi is just a girl a little younger than I am, so this is what she feels like.
“Maria.”
Though I say her na, Maria doesn’t reply. She just keeps her head pressed into so that I can’t see the look on her face.
I’m sure the expression buried in my chest is one she would never, ever make in the real world. She’s making the sa face she once told herself she must never make, when she swore she would never depend on anyone else.
She’s most likely showing this side because this Maria doesn’t have her Box. Because she is in Kingdom Royale, she’s revealing the barest glimpse of those inner feelings that her real self has on total lockdown.
My words might be able to reach Maria Otonashi now.
They might be able to reach her undiluted, with no interference from Aya Otonashi.
I open my mouth to speak—
“Kazuki.”
—but she beats to the punch. She hugs around my back with trembling arms and says, “Even still, this is just a fantasy.”
I know that.
So I’m going to change that fate.
Reviews
All reviews (0)