May 2 (Saturday), 11:10 PMI’m dreaming.
It’s the sa dream again.
May 3 (Sunday), Constitution Day
May 3 (Sunday), 7:12 AM
I wake up. The sensation isn’t like when I regain control of my body; it’s just the normal rise-and-shine routine.
I’m on the floor of Miyazaki’s apartnt, my hands and feet restrained.
Miyazaki is sitting on his bed. There are dark circles under his eyes. It’s likely he hasn’t slept properly these past few days.
Noticing that I’m awake, he pulls out a wipe and rubs down my face. The cool nthol on the tissue helps clear away my drowsiness.
“Here are your orders.”
As soon as he’s cleaned off, Miyazaki starts right in without so much as a curt “G’morning.”
“You’re going to show your willingness to betray Otonashi by restraining her arms and legs. Nothing else matters in the anti as long as you do that. Simple, right?”
“…You’re telling the truth?”
“What?”
“If I do it, you’ll accept that you’ve beaten ?”
Whether they do is entirely up to “him.” Even after I catch Otonashi for them, there’s no guarantee they won’t rely claim they aren’t sure I’m truly defeated and co at with even crazier demands.
“‘Yuhei Ishihara’ will be satisfied with stealing Maria Otonashi away from you, according to our talks in the past.”
“Stealing her away from …?”
What the heck does that an? I don’t understand at all. Then I rember the e-mail from before:
“My wish has been granted. Now you and I can be together.”
Now I get it.
He mistakenly assud that Otonashi and I were in a relationship. That’s why he believes he’ll inherit my connection to her if the Week in the Mud reaches its conclusion.
That’s absurd, though. He may take over my body, but that doesn’t an he’ll automatically assu control of everything about , too.
“There’s no way he can steal her from ,” I say quietly.“Yes, there is.”
I almost leap out of my skin. The answer cos in a voice I shouldn’t be able to hear.
“I am the one and only Kazuki Hoshino. That’s why Maria Otonashi will be mine, just like that.”
It’s coming from the speakers of a desktop computer, which Miyazaki is using.
“You probably think that sounds crazy. You must be sure I could never beco Kazuki Hoshino, since you’re him.”
Of course I do. I am Kazuki Hoshino, so there’s no way anyone else could be.
“Tell this, then: What really makes Kazuki Hoshino himself? At the very least, I doubt you can tell by personality alone. If you haven’t seen soone for a while, you would probably assu they’re still the sa person even if their aura or character has completely changed, right?”
The question now reminds of a similar remark I once heard from soone else.
“If you see a person acting in a way that is unlike them, do you think they must be a different person? Do you think they’ve been possessed?”
“…Ngh!”
It’s true. Daiya, Kokone, Haruaki—they all believed “he” was Kazuki Hoshino. Even Otonashi, who has been with for so long…
“Not even Maria Otonashi can distinguish between us, can she?”
“…Ugh.”
“Still, she knows there is a Box involved, so she may treat the loss of ‘Kazuki Hoshino’ as the loss of Kazuki Hoshino himself. That’s why I’m going to show her that he won’t disappear, even if ‘Yuhei Ishihara’ assus his identity. That will keep Kazuki Hoshino alive within her mind.”
Giggling emanates from the speakers.
“If I can pull that off, then Maria Otonashi will be mine.”
As long as Kazuki Hoshino’s appearance remains the sa, he will be taken as such, no matter how much his nature may change. There’s a certain logic to it. I can’t dismiss these claims out of hand.
……However, I think it’s an exaggeration to claim he can actually beco .
“You think it’s a far-fetched argunt, don’t you?” Miyazaki says accusingly.
I clamp my mouth shut.
“Hoshino, what would you do if you found out soone very dear to you had multiple personalities?”
“Huh?” I’m confused at the sudden hypothetical.
“Is only one of those personalities the person you love? Do you carefully pick through them and decide ‘This one’s important’ or ‘I don’t like this one’ or ‘I don’t really care about this one’? Of course you don’t, right? If you truly care for soone, they will be a single, precious entity for you, no matter the nature of their personality.”
“……You may be right.”
“That’s why it doesn’t matter if it’s you or ‘Yuhei Ishihara’ inside. Once soone recognizes the body as Kazuki Hoshino, their feelings for him automatically carry over. If you’re important to Maria Otonashi at all, those feelings aren’t directed toward the personality known as ‘Kazuki Hoshino.’ No, what she most likely values is…”
His expression remains unchanged as he explains.
“…your very existence.”
It’s a powerful statent. However, it’s not enough to crush .
“…I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think I’m that important to her.”
Miyazaki sneers. “Maybe you’re too close to the situation to notice it yourself. I can see it, though. Otonashi is dependent upon you. That’s why the loss of your personality could prove to be an unbearable defeat for her. She would seek out sothing to fill that void, and I think we both know what the easiest alternative would be.”
“…You an ‘Yuhei Ishihara’?”
“Not quite. He may have changed, but Kazuki Hoshino will still be there.”
“And so Maria Otonashi will be his…? That’s all in your head, Miyazaki. What makes you so confident things will work out that way?”
“Because she’s just like ,” he replies blandly.
“Huh?”
“I’m dependent upon soone else, too, just like she is. That’s how I know what will happen to her and that she can be obtained.”
I’m finally starting to understand why Miyazaki’s claims hold so much power.
He knows. He appreciates what it’s like to watch the person he cares about disappear and beco sothing else.
“We’re wasting words here. All you need to do is sell her out. Once you do, Otonashi won’t be able to tell ‘Kazuki Hoshino’ from ‘Yuhei Ishihara.’”
“……And why is that?”
“I’m sure it’s never entered into her mind that ‘Kazuki Hoshino’ would take action against her. Even if you’re the one who puts the cuffs on her wrists, she’ll most likely believe ‘Yuhei Ishihara’ is responsible. But it’s actually ‘Kazuki Hoshino.’ She’ll lose confidence in her ability to distinguish between you. What’s more, it’ll break down the barrier between the two personalities.”
And so she would see us as one and the sa.
If that’s the case when May 6 arrives, Otonashi will be able to accept it without resistance, even if “he” has taken over. That’s what Miyazaki is saying.
“Do you see what I’m getting at now? Good, I’ll tell you what you need to do.”
“…Wait.” I cut him off.
“What is it?”
“What happens if ‘he’ doesn’t believe he’s been completely successful in taking Otonashi from ‘’?”
That’s the most likely outco. It’s not like she and I were ever in a relationship, so it’s not really possible to take her from if she was never mine to begin with. This can’t possibly work out as planned.
“Would you start hurting her since you have her tied up? Would you use to do it again?”
Miyazaki ponders silently for a few monts. “Yeah.” He continues unapologetically, “So what?”
“‘So what…?’ Th-there’s no way… I could never do that. Sure, I decided to set her up for you, but that doesn’t an I’m willing to do anything else to her…”
“Are you trying to get yourself slugged again?”
“……But I still can’t do it, now that I know.”
Any pain I suffer doesn’t matter. All I have to do is endure it.
But I can’t stand the thought of soone else getting hurt because of , and not because I consider Otonashi an ally. That has nothing to do with it. No, the very idea of wounding another with my actions is sickening.
After observing for a few monts, Miyazaki breathes out a terribly disappointed sigh.
“Is this how you want it to be?”
“……What?”
“If beating you up directly won’t work, then we’ll just have to find so other way to convince you.”
“…What do you an?”
Miyazaki doesn’t reply and says nothing else at all.
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