Lilou sat down on the edge of the bed for an elongated ti. Dread reigned over her face, head hanging low, guilt and sha eating her up from the inside.
"What did I just do?" she asked herself for the umpteenth ti. She clenched her hand on her lap, holding her breath as she recalled the experienced she just had in the bathroom.
After venturing her body with 'Samael's guidance,' her entire body shivered upon reaching climax, making her core throb as heat leaked from inside her. Like a withering flower, she wobbled to the floor and Samael dispersed into thin air.
She looked at herself in the mirror for a long ti until she had enough strength to clean herself. She thought to forget what just happened, but here she was, stuck on the edge of the bed with dread dominating her face. It was impossible to forget it.
"Did I just fantasize about a man touching …?" she asked herself once again, on the verge of tears at how embarrassed she was to herself. The thought that no one knew about it aside from herself wasn't enough to salvage this sense of sha devouring her alive.
She was ashad of herself, but this sha never crossed her while doing the deed. Only after that did this sha creep into her heart, crippling her in this sa position for hours. Good thing no one was looking for her; she would totally lose it if Samael suddenly knock on the door.
Knock knock.
Lilou jumped when a faint knock suddenly caressed her ears. Just when she thought no one was looking for her, soone knocked on the door.
'Great! Just when I wished no one see right now.' She clenched her teeth in distress, still flustered at the rollercoaster emotions throughout the day. 'Please, please, please… not Samael.' Lilou held her hand in front of her and prayed from the bottom of her heart. Anyone was fine but Samael. She deeply prayed her prayers would be answered at least once!
"Just this once, please… hear my prayers."
To her relief, the voice from the other side of the door wasn't that seductively dangerous voice whispering in her ears to think about him. But instead, it was a voice of a boy.
"Mother? Are you awake?"
Lilou raised her head and gazed at the door, blinking back to her senses. 'Law!' she sprung up to her feet and rushed to open the door. As soon as she did, her eyes fell on the young boy, who looked exactly the sa as Samael, but with erald eyes just like hers.
"Law," she breathed out in relief, squatting down to his eye-level. "I missed you."
Without thinking twice, Lilou pulled him into her embrace as if she finally found soone to keep her from stressing about what happened during her bathing ti. Law smiled subtly before she parted from him.
"Did you have a good nap?" she asked, holding his biceps gently.
He nodded and humd. "I've been awake since two hours ago, but Father said I shouldn't bother you since you were tired. I only ca to call you for dinner."
"Ahh…" Lilou chuckled awkwardly as she thought of Samael once again. It already felt strange when Law called Samael his father and Lilou his mother. After all, in her mind, they never did it.
'Well… aside from earlier, if that was counted, then we did…' she bit her tongue and kept a smile. But her smile froze when Law spoke.
"Mother, do you have a fever?" Law tilted his head to the side, studying her pinkish face. "Should I tell them you're unwell and ask father to bring you food?"
"No!" he jolted when Lilou exclaid, but then the latter laughed and rubbed his shoulder. "Sorry. I an, I'm alright. It's just I took a hot bath, that's all."
"Ohh…"
Her lips stretched to hide the vestige of guilt. "Shall we?" she extended her hand and wiggled her fingers after standing up.
"Mhm!" Law happily clasped her hand, only for her to freeze.
'Wasn't this the hand I used to touch my breast?' her brain went blank for a mont but snapped from her daze when Law tugged her.
"Mother?" he was looking up at her with furrowed brows, getting more worried as Lilou was acting strange.
Lilou gazed down at him and glanced at their hand and then gazed at her other hand. She pressed her lips. The other one touched an even worse part of her. Her eyes darted between the two and sighed helplessly.
'I should scrub my hand later. I can't keep touching this child with these filthy hands.'
Unlike her helpless thoughts, Lilou sported a smile to hide her worries from him. She didn't want to worry her son, knowing he was quite clever and observant. If she continued acting strangely, Law would surely get worried. It was all Samael's fault for feeding her perverted thoughts during the ti they were together.
"I'm sorry. I was simply thinking about sothing, but it's nothing." Her smile remained as she raised her chin up. "Let's go."
"Alright…"
Law didn't probe since he was aware Lilou couldn't rember most things they shared as a family. The only reason she opened her heart to him was that her heart rembered her love for her children. Thus, he tossed whatever thoughts at the back of his head.
If only he knew her mother was going crazy because of his father.
The two of them headed to the dining. Usually, Lilou was the one in charge of their als. Stefan was low maintenance and could go on for days without food for as long as he had blood to drink. So, she would mostly cook food for herself. But since she was too mind-boggled, she forgot to even eat or prepare.
Fortunately, there were people in here to prepare dinner on ti. Well, it wasn't like they all needed to eat, since vampires were satisfied with just blood alone.
Lilou briefed herself while on their way to the dining hall, telling
herself to behave and act naturally. But as soon as they reached the dining hall, her eyes instantly fell on the chair where Samael was sitting. Unlike her, who had to force herself to forget, Samael didn't act differently. If anything, he appeared to be nonchalant while staring at Tilly with dead eyes.
'That guy…' she secretly clenched her teeth, feeling this surge of anger swell in her chest. 'After playing with my head and heart, he was unbothered while I feel like I'm about to go crazy…!'
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