Year 1842 — PRESENT TI
"Let's divorce, Your Majesty."
Rufus raised a brow while he drink, eyes on the woman on the other end of the dining table. He carefully put down his glass of wine, tilting his head to the side.
"I want to step down as the empress," Florence added.
"Do you know what will happen if you stepped down?" he inquired in the sa distant tone. "Once you gave up the position, you get banished from the empire. The least of your concern is the people in here. But... it will surely incite anger from the Karo Kingdom."
Florence laughed weakly. "Is there any difference?" she asked, almost in a mocking tone. "It is only been one year since I beca your empress, but everyone is already blaming for not bearing an heir."
"So, that is the problem?" Rufus rocked his head, keeping silent for a mont. "Then I will go to your chambers tonight."
Florence gripped her cutlery tighter, eyes on him. Until now, there wasn't any progress in their relationship. They dined together but barely spoke a word. Sotis Rufus would go to her to share a cup of tea in silence.
He had done that for the empress' reputation and because she requested that from him months ago. Even so, Rufus's treatnt for her didn't change. He still treated her like his colleague, no more, no less.
But the funniest joke was, even creating an heir was treated as part of their duty. She already gave up at this point. She had tried to prove to Heliot that Rufus could also see her as his wife, but she lost, miserably.
"Why... can't you let decide for that?" she inquired, lowering her eyes. "I've been quiet, Your Majesty. I did everything to be the empress you needed. But... I had enough."
"Enough?"
She raised her head, feeling all the pent-up frustration that accumulated through the year reach its peak. "I can't do this anymore, Your Majesty. I never request anything from you aside from giving so face by drinking tea with . But it is not enough."
"Empress." This ti, Rufus's voice grew cold and even more distant. "Is there any other reason for you to request such a thing? If there is, why don't you express it right now so we can address them properly?"
"Can you love ?" she asked without beating around the bush. Her eyes were also icy, unlike the usual emotion she carried when she arrived in the empire. Her question instantly silenced him.
"You can't, right?" Florence laughed weakly, putting down her cutlery as she looked at him straight in the eye. "Your Majesty, can you be honest with ? Do you love Lady Silvia?"
"She is one of my people. Thus, I value her."
"As a man, do you love her?"
Silence. A stifling silence descended on them while they were looking at each other.
"Lady Silvia is a married woman who loved her husband dearly." She broke the silence after a minute with her bitter voice. "She is amazing and I can't seem to hate her even when my husband looks at her with affection. I envied her, even tried to hate her and bla her... but I can't."
"I also hated you when I realized you will never open your heart to . I wanted to bla you for not even trying, for looking in a different direction when I am just right beside you," Florence continued, unable to stop the words that she bottled up without a problem. It was just that the surge of emotion flowed out as soon as she mustered the courage to ask for a divorce.
"But alas... I really can't hate you or Lady Silvia. I can't also bla you for not opening your heart to the empress you had to marry just because you had to. You already made it clear to in the beginning. But I... still expected sothing." A weary smile dominated her lips as she raise her gaze at him once again. "It's my fault for hoping for the impossible. So please... fulfill this request for . I am tired, Your Majesty. I'd rather get stripped off of my title and live as a commoner for the rest of my life."
After speaking her mind and heart, there was this sort of relief she felt. To her surprise, she was able to smile genuinely at him.
She didn't love Rufus; she hoped she did since they were husband and wife, but she couldn't nurture that feeling. Was it sothing to thank him for? She was uncertain. What was for sure was that she didn't hate him.
If anything, being the empress made her strong. She was able to value herself when no one else does. She also made friends, Silvia and Kristina, for example. The reason she mustered the courage to free herself from sothing that was hurting her even in the slightest.
Rufus studied his empress's expression and noticed the clarity in her eyes. A shallow breath slipped past his lip. He couldn't see the sa hope in her eyes — the kind of hope whenever she looked at him in the past. Not that it was a bad way.
"Is that what you really want, Empress?" he inquired in a calm voice.
"Yes."
"You know the consequences if I approved of this."
"Yes."
"The wealth, the comfort, the security..."
"I don't need any of those, Your Majesty." Her smile remained as her eyes softened. "I just want to live. Feel alive, I an. That's all."
Rufus rocked his head lightly. "Then, I shall make preparation. It won't be easy, but you can use this ti to prepare for your departure. The only thing I can guarantee you is that you will leave the empire safely."
"Thank you, Your Majesty."
"No. Thank you." Rufus looked at her straight in the eye, unsmiling. However, she could feel that he didn't feel so distant, like always.
"And I apologize for not being a husband to you. I guess I am not cut out for marriage." His gaze lowered. It was not like he didn't want to try. There were days he wanted to be a husband and try to open his heart after getting nagged by everyone.
He just couldn't. Because his heart… only wanted another woman. Although she was already married and being cherished by another man, his heart still yearned for his first love and surely his last love.
Upon hearing his short yet sincere apology, Florence could not help but smile. "I really appreciate the apology, Your Majesty. It ans a lot to ."
The two of them looked at each other before they smiled. Although they agreed to go on separate ways, there was no pain in their heart.. If anything, both of them felt… free from guilt.
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