448 Excuses (4)
“I do care for you, Alessandra. I was selfish only thinking about my happiness. Regardless of how much I thought Desmond would take care of you, I knew what he was like. How demanding he was with looking good in front of his peers. I should have thought more about how you would have suffered like I did to play a role in his perfect life. I can’t help but apologize to you,” lanie sincerely apologized. It was the only thing she could do now.
“I did think about you often. I thought of what kind of young lady you were growing into. What type of man would you marry? If you were anything like and shared the sa passions as I did. On our journey here, I tried asking around about you, but tales about you have not reached out of Lockwood yet. As a Duchess, I am certain it will shortly. It was surprising that you married a Collins. That family is so strict,” lanie said, looking back on her days watching Edmund and Priscilla Collins.
“I t your husband’s parents a long ti ago thanks to your father’s title. I t a few of the Carsons and a few other close relatives. I rember the days of listening to Priscilla go on and on about her mother-in-law when she thought no one was listening in the bathrooms. When I first ran away from your father, I ended up in the sa town as Rose Collins. From afar she seems pleasant. Are they treating you well?” lanie asked, not expecting an answer since Alessandra did not want to tell her about her marriage. “I know Priscilla is a bit exhausting to be around.”
“Priscilla didn’t like at first. She still says she doesn’t like now but her actions say otherwise. Priscilla visits our ho every few days. As for Rose, it has been a while since we spoke, but I have not had a really bad ti becoming part of their family. Others had it worse I am sure, but Edgar doesn’t let just anyone co into our ho. So,” Alessandra trailed off, trying to think about what to say next.
lanie tapped her fingers on the wooden table. “Are you close to any of the Barretts? Your grandmother? Uncle? Anyone at all? That family has a habit of acting like they’re royalty and are above everyone else. I made your father stop his relatives from coming to our ho in the first year of our marriage.”
“The only Barrett who I can say I have sowhat of a good relationship with is my uncle, Clark. We don’t see each other or keep in touch, but he is the best of the bunch. Grandmother no longer views as her granddaughter and I have not seen the other relatives. It is better this way. I am curious if Clark has taken my advice and started living differently,” said Alessandra. If there was money left for her, she wondered what Clark did with it.
“I agree that Clark is the best of the bunch. Your father was a really good man when I t him but he got too caught up with appearances. I always felt sorry for Clark because he was trying his hand at so many businesses to beco successful and prove his worth in the family. He was only annoying when he desperately wanted money. I should reach out to him to let him know that I am back,’ lanie said as she had a good relationship with Clark.
“We should probably let Mark know that we are finished here. Unless there is sothing more to be said on your end?” Alessandra asked, secretly hoping there was nothing more to be said. This sit-down was becoming more awkward by the second even though they were speaking to each other and not giving one-word answers.
“It’s been a little bit too quiet out there so I need to check on the girls. Before we et with everyone else, I need to ask. Is it possible for us to et again and continue to try to work this out? The court might want us to handle this elsewhere so maybe we can et at your house-”
.....
“No,” Alessandra declined the offer to et at her ho. “We should et at a more neutral place. There are plenty of places in town for us to et and speak to each other. We are not ready to have a eting where we rest our heads.”
“Understandable for you. I would extend the offer for you to visit where we are staying. The doors will always be opened to you. It is not a big fancy estate like you are used to now but it is cozy. You can bring your husband and anyone you want to introduce to. That might also be too soon, isn’t it? Well, I am trying,” lanie added after Alessandra agreed it would be too soon.
Alessandra stood up from her seat instead of responding to her mother. She was aware that her mother was trying but her mother also needed to understand that she was also trying her best to sit here and listen to what her mother had to say.
It wasn’t easy to not cry or yell more about how hurt she was. For now, lanie had to accept the distance and realize nothing would change or feel better in a few minutes of speaking to each other.
If Alessandra had not married Edgar, it was safe to say Alessandra would have welcod her mother back with no questions asked because she was desperate to get out of her father’s care. Alessandra’s life was different now where she did not need to forgive easily.
If she was to ever have a proper relationship with her mother, they needed to take baby steps after Alessandra’s emotions were settled. Right now, she felt angry for reasons she could not explain. Alessandra just found herself not wanting to be alone with her mother anymore.
lanie sighed and followed Alessandra out of the room. For now, there was nothing she could do other than give Alessandra so space. She had faith that the two of them would beco closer now that she was back here in Lockwood and planned to be more involved in Alessandra’s life.
“Did it go well?” Edgar asked, taking Alessandra to the side to privately speak to her.
lanie inspected the young man who resembled the Edmund Collins she rembered from her youth. lanie worried about Alessandra being involved with a man who had such a grand title.
She hoped life for Alessandra wasn’t going to be suffocating as it was for her but it wasn’t her place to bring this up to Alessandra. Alessandra said her happiness was with her husband so lanie had to assu Alessandra was treated well by Edgar Collins.
“Mother,” Claire ran to lanie with her sister lody by her side. “The Duke is right there,” she whispered, looking at Edgar. They were from a small town but stories of Edgar fighting in the last war alongside the King had reached them. All the girls from her town dreamt of being the ones to marry the King or even one of the noblen. “When can we speak to him?”
“Wait for Alessandra to introduce all of you,” lanie answered.
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