Chapter 87: Cecily’s Past
After her eting with Maren, she turned towards the east wing. It had been days since she had gone there. Dorian had ssed up her routine.
She stopped by the kitchen first and packed a gingerbread for Cecily. When she reached the wing, she knocked and sat against the door.
"Elspeth left today. I miss her already," Alina said, sliding the gingerbread through the window.
"I know. I watched the two of you near the carriage from my window," Cecily replied. "By the way...have you been busy?"’
"Yes."
"With the prince?"
Alina sighed.
"Sothing like that."
"It sounds like sothing is weighing on you."
"We fought. It’s resolved now. But so things don’t leave so easily."
"Like what?" she asked hesitantly.
"Words you can’t take back. Fears you didn’t know the other person had."
Cecily didn’t know what to say.
"Your brother gets...pretty intense when he is afraid of losing sothing," Alina said.
"Yes. He does," Cecily replied.
"You sound like you’ve seen it before," Alina laughed.
Cecily laughed as well.
"I used to think it was just his nature," Cecily said. "But..." she trailed off.
"Do you want..."
"Austin had just taken over the duchy from father who was too drunk to govern, and Austin had been running the estate since he was nineteen anyway,". Cecily didn’t let her finish.
"We both argued about everything and hardly agreed on anything but still we loved each other more than anyone else," she smiled.
Alina didn’t interrupt.
"The east wing was mine. I spent evenings here reading, playing piano, and do things I liked."
Her fingers tightened around the gingerbread.
"Then one night, a fire started. I was reading. I slled smoke and imdiately went to the door but it was locked from the outside."
Alina’s eyes widened in shock.
"I don’t know who locked it. We still don’t now. Austin has been trying to find out for five years, but hasn’t succeeded.
I scread. The fire spread too fast. I’m sure soone used sothing to accelerate it. I couldn’t get out.
Then Austin ca. I don’t know how he got to know since east wing is far from the rest of the castle."
Alina could almost look at the scene unfolding in front of her eyes.
"He broke the door with his body and threw himself against a burning door until the hinges gave up and the door collapsed inward. He walked through the fire to reach .," her voice wavered.
"He was burned. The fire caught his coat and burned through to skin before he could remove it. But he didn’t stop. When he reached , the flas had already reached my face.
I don’t rember what happened next clearly. But I rember being carried. I rember him shouting for the physician while others saying I was dead."
Alina’s chest tightened painfully.
"The castle physician gave up on . But Austin didn’t. He secretly took
to another physician outside the Ravenmoor, saying he wants to perform my rites there," she sobbed.
"The right side of my face was burned completely. The scars healed with ti, but they didn’t disappear. I look different now.
The fire took everything from . I went into shock. I hardly ate or spoke. I was afraid of being seen, afraid of every person I saw. Austin tried his best to help
but my trauma was so much more powerful than his love."
Alina broke down completely without even realizing it.
"Then he hid
because soone had tried to kill . And until he knows who... I’m safer dead,"
she smiled faintly.
"If the world believes Cecily Moore died in the fire, then the culprit will believe they succeeded. And a person who believes they succeeded doesn’t try again. Moreover, at that ti, even I didn’t want to be seen. I hated the way I looked, when I saw myself in the mirror...I even wished I’d have died instead of living with a face like that.
So I’ve been dead for five years to everyone except for him. He carries the guilt of not finding who did it. The grief of a sister he can see but can’t acknowledge. The weight of maintaining a lie that keeps
safe but imprisoned."
She took a deep breath.
"That’s why he is the way he is. The coldness, the walls, the inability to say what he feels. He learned at a young age that loving soone makes them a target and he has spent five years making sure nobody knows he loves anything.
And then you arrived. And I think it terrifies him. Because of what happened with ."
Alina didn’t realize she was crying until her vision blurred completely.
Cecily’s pain wasn’t just from the fire, it was from everything she lost because of it. She survived, but had to disappear from the world. And on top of that, she carried the weight of knowing that Austin was suffering too by protecting her, and blaming himself.
The siblings who loved each other the most in the world had to separate because love, in their case, beca a weakness soone tried to exploit.
"I’m going to get you out of here. You are a victim. You don’t deserve to live like this."
"Austin won’t allow it. It’s not safe," Cecily replied, wiping her cheeks.
Alina wiped her tears as well and stood up.
"I know," she said quietly. "But I’ll try my best."
She walked back to the main castle. Her face was wet, and her hands were shaking constantly. Servants looked at her with curiosity. But she didn’t care.
I need to do sothing. Should I speak with Austin???
While passing through the corridor, she noticed the door to his room slightly ajar.
She peeked inside and saw Austin working at the desk, instead of his study. He looked up when she entered. He noticed her wet eyes, her red cheeks, and her trembling hands.
He stood up imdiately.
"What happened?"
She didn’t answer. Instead, she walked to him, and put her arms around him, holding him tightly.
She held him like soone who had just learned the worst thing that had ever happened to him and there was nothing she could do to fix it. So she did the only thing she could do.
He went rigid, not understanding the reason behind it. Then slowly, he wrapped his arms around her as well, resting his chin on the top of her head.
"Did soone say sothing?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"No."
"I just... wanted to."
He didn’t ask again and held her as tightly.
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