"First of all," Alterez started as his all-too-wide smile plastered itself upon his face. "I can neither confirm nor deny any such actions, real or imagined, that may or may not have taken place. Any such allegations of misdeeds committed are as slanderous as they are fictitious. Furthermore, any alleged cris would have occurred centuries ago and are thus beyond the statute of limitations, not that I would ever engage in such dishonest and criminal activity, being that I am an upstanding mber of society and a pillar of the community.
"Now, I may recall a ti or place when a certain old man traveled through the territory of a certain goblin tribe, where one unnad but ridiculously handso and charming goblin may have witnessed so coworkers try to engage in larcenous activities against said old man. Said coworkers may have burst into flas and turned to ash almost instantly. The heroic goblin in question may have then run away to warn the others. The hero may have then returned with reinforcents, after which the sa outco ca about. The hero may have then returned with certain individuals from the tribe that our hero did not like, which resulted in the sa outco. Now our hero, ever pragmatic, would not have let all the personal effects of his associates go to waste and just rot away on the ground, so the hero may have collected any valuables that were in dire need of ownership and a new ho after a night of gambling. That's all I have to say about an unclear mory I have that may be from so book I read or sothing."
"Hmph, or sothing," the old man snorted as he shook his head. "Gong farrs everywhere would strike it rich with you. They have but to make you speak, and shit cos out of your mouth. Well, at least I know why you tried so many tis. You are not the first to have goaded his associates into attacking for such underhanded reasons as looting their remains, but few have been so clever or annoying."
"You may have confused with soone else with your most charitable complints," Alterez responded as his smile widened even further. "I assure you, my goblin body you see before you did not engage in any such 'underhanded' activities with you in the past, at least to my knowledge."
Alterez shared a knowing look with as he finished his explanation. We both knew that he has reincarnated many tis into the bodies of other goblins that have perished through circumstances that most likely involved his unsound advice. As such, he undoubtedly did not possess this particular body at the ti of the cri.
"Well," I interjected with my best diplomatic personna after a silent pause in discussions, "it seems that is one mystery solved. Perhaps, my good sir," I continued as I addressed the old man," you would elucidate the circumstances and motives that bring you all this way to grace our humble town with your presence."
"Hmph, it seems you put that shit in your mouth to use for the purpose of fertilizing those flowery words of yours, but I know you don't want here. Too bad!" So incoherent grumbling and muttering followed before he continued. "I know the end of the world when I see one, it's not my first ti, you whippersnapper. It will draw my kin and I like carrion draws vultures. So of them want to use you, so of them want to be abused," he looked around for a mont as if he had made a great joke which none of us understood, and indeed, no one was laughing. He grumbled a bit more about 'back in my day' before he continued. "Well, my kin may cause chaos, but we won't jeopardize the fate of the world since we reside here and all. It gets rather boring for a while when civilization gets wiped out," he finished as he stood silent, his eyes trapped in a forlorn gaze viewing that which only his mories could provide for him to witness.
"That does sound like a terrible fate," I condoled after an appropriate mont of silence. "Well, since you do not enjoy such solitude, perhaps you would appreciate assigning an honor guard to you for the duration of your stay."
"Hmph, more like they are for the protection of the people here than my own safety, but it isn't like I can stop you." With teeth gritted, as if he struggled emotionally to say the words, he labored to continue. "I will try my best to keep my ddling to the appropriate minimum since we share a common cause." A hurt look of disappointnt and annoyance crossed his face. I suspected his nature was to antagonize people into attacking him, so abstaining from his favorite pasti for the greater good must have weighed heavily upon him.
"A most magnanimous sacrifice on your part. We are all grateful for your assistance and cooperation in saving the world," I replied with an equal mix of sincerity and veiled sarcasm.
"Hmph," he grumbled, trying to hide his flustered embarrassnt at my complint by stroking his beard. "Oh, I guess I should release this lot from my aura," he stated casually. With a wave of his hand, the supernatural fear that gripped the masses dissipated, even if normal fear still remained.
"Gam-"
"Here, Boss!" responded just the kobold I wanted to talk to as he and Bambina swiveled around to stand in front of . I sohow never detected their approach, and between my senses and the bond we shared, it should have been inescapably obvious. I made a note to work more on my bond with them and Alterez at so later date.
"Excellent," I stated before clearing my throat, a maneuver perford strictly to regain my composure at my two biggest fans' unyielding commitnt to the bit of serving . "Form up a kobold honor guard. I am picturing big flashy banners that will catch the attention of passersby. I don't want anyone to aggravate or attack our community's newest guest by mistake. Bambina."
"Here, Boss!" she chid up as I called for her.
"I want you to lead an educational campaign so that everyone here is fully abreast of the situation. I want everyone to know the basics of Demons, Titans, demigods, and whatever else great and powerful that may crawl out of the woodwork at us so that we can avoid future mishaps. By my authority, this is compulsory education. Nanu should be able to provide all the knowledge you need to educate the masses. That's all I have for you two at the mont."
"Yes, Boss!" they answered as one.
"And don't call Boss," I replied back to their sharp confirmation of my orders.
"Yes, Boss!" they responded just as enthusiastically as they snapped to attention. I could see the twinkle of mischief in their eyes as they did so.
Sighing, I turned to Skull as my eager kobold companions scurried off to perform their master's bidding.
"Would you kindly and peacefully disperse this crowd for ."
"Yes, Boss," she replied with a snarky smile before she acquiesced to my request. Cheeky.
She would rather scare them away, but she had been told to play nice. Surprisingly, her voice was extrely positive and chipper, as if she had worked in custor service or as a tour guide, one jaded by life but still capable of killing her custors with kindness. When idiots asked her questions, she gave non-answers and a cheerful smile that sohow still communicated the towering monstrosity of unbridled terror that lurked within her, which quickly sent the remaining rabble scattering for their hos. Doors would be locked tightly that night, but whether it be more out of fear of Skull or the Demon was anyone's guess.
Groggy and groaning, my fist smashed impotently in the direction of the alarm crystal that my First Love had crafted for . I swear the thing had been designed to gleefully evade my attempts to thwart its incessant chiming as it announced the arrival of a new day. Victory was mine in the end, but ultimately pyrrhic in nature, as the damn thing was also linked to the magical apparatus that automatically drew open the curtains when the alarm was silenced.
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Even after all these decades, I was still used to the hours more common to a lady of the night, one who ensured the normally lonely hours until dawn were not spent in solitude for those who could afford to part with so coin for the privilege. Those had been good years, but I didn't want to stagnate in that profession, despite how well it suited , and so I had to moonlight as the hunter instead of the hunted in order to find companions.
Fortune , that I made such a career change for my adorable and at tis dorky First Love. Had I not been in the guildhall that day, I may have missed him entirely, for he never visited the pleasure district of Berkerin. Well, not unless I dragged him along to indulge with , and indulge he did, much to my satisfaction. Still, it would have been a chicken and the egg scenario, so I remain thankful to the man who suggested the career change and even went so far as to open doors for in getting my job, which was strange considering he had not been one of my clients. Thinking back, I vaguely recall that he seed rather familiar.
I shook my head at such musings. That was many years ago now, and I had only t the man briefly, so my mory of him was foggy at best. Either way, it all worked out well in the end, and hopefully today would, too.
First Love had left a warm bath for . He, as well as the rest of his harem, had departed early. Today was the day to start moving camp through the mountain now that the tunnel was finished. It would be smooth sailing from here with the frequency of changing camps being increased dramatically. Not only could he build roads and dig tunnels faster, but now that the road made its way through less mountainous terrain, it would be a far easier undertaking to continue construction, and thus, necessitate moving the camp often.
After a pleasant soak and so breakfast that First Love had left for , I finished dressing myself for the day. I caught myself rubbing the bracelet that he had acquired for as a symbol of his affection, and more and more, I found comfort in it beyond any such trinket I had received from past paramours. He and I both still bedded other people, but we still chose to be with each other most of the ti, which satisfied more than I had expected. What had started as a fling on my part had grown into sothing serious, an eventuality that past would have scoffed at. Smiling, I stepped outside the house and into the fresh air of early autumn.
"Morning, Chooka," greeted an axolotl-kobold child as she walked past by while on her way to do whatever it was that kobolds did. Absolutely adorable, as long as one looked past how they had no native morality of their own.
One couldn't throw a rock around here without it bouncing off one kobold and it hitting another. And there were so many types. Axolotls, salamanders, newts, geckos, chaleons, iguanas, and skinks were of the anthropomorphized critters that I knew of. They flocked here from all over the continent after The Battle of the Swamp that occurred so many weeks ago. Each and every one of them adored and perhaps idolized dragons, with the ambition in their heart to beco dragons themselves one day. Gambino and Bambina, each now having a draconic Blessing, were practically royalty to the kobold masses, and their leadership had been undisputed. The town had physically doubled in size to accommodate so many kobolds, but they were not idle.
Even now, I saw a pair of them pushing so elf, his legs confined in casts, in a wheelchair for his morning constitutional. Such sweet things, helping our wounded recover. It must have been quite nasty if the healers could not have tended to his wounds. His face suggested a level of resigned displeasure, but I suppose that is to be expected from one so confined and helpless.
Filing that under 'not my problem', I continued my short walk to the guildhall. Today would be another day of packing things away for our migration, but fortunately, I had a small army of kobolds who were well-versed in how to handle that for , so I only needed to perform a perfunctory effort to oversee the whole affair. Instead, I would do what I always did. Paperwork did not process itself, thankfully, and I would certify those quests and allocate the paynts that my clerks would then dispense to the eager Adventurers looking to make so coin.
We had only the best Adventurers around here, or at least we did initially. Gold chaff had migrated to our town, and being more pressed for manpower to address the seemingly unending hordes of beasts and monsters that lurked this deep in the wilderness, we accepted all the help we could get. Quests were accepted within the day, and by evening, new quests were drafted to investigate what had beco of those who never returned to the guildhall for paynt and a night of rrymaking. So Platinums specialized in those tasks and earned good coin and free loot by 'avenging their fallen comrades', as they liked to put it.
Sadly, I had processed the whole stack of paperwork waiting for before we had even opened our doors to the public. I idly tapped my fingers, waiting for the mont so uppity Adventurer demanded to speak to the manager. I was itching to knock so sense into a few skulls, for while those Gold and Platinum Adventurers could take in a fight, they all knew of my status and my relationship to a literal Emperor Dragon, so most knew better than to fuck with .
Sadly, without a [Noble] to keep the wilderness at bay, there were not any darling Coppers or Silvers out here. It was bittersweet to see those bright-eyed and bushy-tailed youths swagger towards the desk with bravado or timidly look around until invited over, only for far too many of them to leave one day on a quest and never co back. No one was ever sent to determine their fate, but more than one Adventurer had co across the corpses of the unlucky. Everyone here was seasoned and could not be as easily teased as the young'uns.
Oh, how I had worried when my First Love had left town on his quests, each ti fearing he would not return. I had learned long ago, through the most painful of lessons, not to ddle in what Adventurers would try to tackle. A mild suggestion here or there was best, for trying to pull them to only served to push them away. The day he had slain the hydra had left crying when I found so ti to be alone, for he had co so close to death over a stinky wheel of cheese. Gods, I was a ss of love, anger, pride, joy, and fear when he had casually inford how he had slain a beast most feared to tackle, and alone at that. But, he had brought with him the egg that held within it one of my greatest sources of joy, so I could not complain too much.
Speaking of, The Boys should be waddling over here any minute now. They like to snooze until after sunrise, and since they are not helping with building the road today, we get to spend the day together as I work. Sure enough, within minutes, the door slowly opened as five heads, two legs, and a stubby tail entered my office.
"Mama!" four of them greeted . "Snacks!" greeted Dio. The other four just looked at him like he was not all there in the head. "Snacks," the other four eventually chid in as they scurried over and jumped up and down in front of .
Fortunately, my adorable Boys had the presence of mind to shrink down to lapdog size, otherwise they would have wrecked the building. The smaller size also ant snacks lasted longer. Using a ring that First Love had fashioned for , I withdrew bits of jerky from dinsional storage and fed them each a piece.
"We love you, Mama!" They all sang to as they nuzzled their snouts into affectionately.
"Oh, you little cuties!" I replied as I scooped them up and held them in my arms. "I love you so much, too." I remained ever thankful that First Love had sohow shared the Ability for to understand what The Boys were saying. Even though I understood their affection, it was great to know precisely what they said.
"Ma'am," a voice stated loudly at the door as a knock was rapped out with confidence. "A custor wishes to file a complaint."
"Be right there," I replied to my clerk. "Let's go, Boys. You know the drill."
Eagerly, I bounced my way along, descended the stairs, and headed through the employee side of the guildhall to the front desk, where I was ushered to the complaining custor.
"Took you long enough," shouted the pretentiously dressed gno that I recognized as the leader of The Elite Crimson Four, their group moniker related to the red hair that each mber possessed, but I could tell that the female elf dyed hers. "Your clerk wouldn't let us accept this quest," he continued as he held up the paper for the quest.
"I'm so sorry about that," I said in my best custor service voice. I could clearly see that the quest required a minimum of eight people, and since no one wanted to work with The Elite Crimson Four, they lacked the manpower to et the safety standards of the quest. "Perhaps I could direct you to where you can file your complaint," I continued as I set The Boys down on the counter.
The Boys hopped off the counter and onto the floor, where they turned to face the gno whilst they expanded in size until they crowded the ceiling. Five heads full of teeth nearly as long as the gno, and far sharper I might add, lowered themselves down to his height as they surrounded him.
"Just fill out the form and place it way back there in any of those mouths. Don't be afraid to crawl inside if you need to. They don't bite… much."
The gno proceeded to piss himself as The Boys licked their lips in anticipation of a snack. Today was off to a good start.
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