381 A revelation
"Rowan, what are you saying?"
There was no more doubt in the redhead of Rowan's affiliation. He had truly gone to the dark side. His horror was written on his face and this reaction was a reality that Rowan knew he had to start getting used to.
"You won't understand till you rember, Lucien. When you do, co find ."
The conversation was over. Rowan still had no idea what was Lucien's role in this ga of celestial chess.
"Rember what?"
"The mories of a ti long gone. Take this and reach out to when you rember."
Lucien wordlessly took a small square of enchanted paper that the blond held out to him. Rowan had gone crazy, right? He was insinuating that Lucien had a past life or that he'd forgotten parts of his past as a child. Knowing that Red shared a na with him, Lucien was uncomfortable about the implications that faced him.
"Write on it and I will know to co and take you away from here."
"Rowan, I'm so confused," he said to the anti mage with wide eyes. "What's happening?"
The anti mage placed a reassuring hand on Lucien's shoulder. "We're pawns being led around in a giant maze of fate and destinies. And I have chosen to fight it."
"Led around by whom?"
"The answers are inside there," he tapped on Lucien's forehead.
"But you can tell , can't you?"
"I cannot."
"Rowan-"
"If Traxdart cos for you, I will know and I won't let him take you. But he isn't the one that brought this prophecy on you."
"Are you telling not to hate him for what he will eventually want from ?"
"No," Rowan said with a sad smile. "Luci-"
"I'm not Luci anymore."
Rowan's eyes saw through him. "Yes, you are. You are Luci. And your other self, he's still inside there."
"He's gone, Rowan. Don't carelessly say things like that. It gives hope!" He all but snarled from the repressed anger he had towards himself for being so helpless, towards Red for abandoning him, towards Rowan for making him think Red hadn't left.
"I wouldn't hurt you like that," Rowan softly told him, knowing that he was altering Lucien's reality by revealing the lie that Red had told Luci. "What did he say before disappearing?"
Lucien recalled that day with painful clarity.
"He told his existence was no longer necessary. That I- Lucien would remain a disgusting snivelling weak baby if he continued to protect and stay with ."
Lucien leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. He hadn't recovered from the damage done to him by Red's departure. It was silent inside his head. Too quiet. Too lonely. Too empty.
"Red was right about so of the things he said to you," Rowan replied. "He wanted to give you the gift of independence." And the chance to be uniquely Lucien, unfettered by the sins of the past washed in the blood of so many innocent humans.
"Well, he had no right to make such a unilateral decision for us. Just shows up randomly and takes over my body without my permission and then leaves without my consent after getting attached to him."
Rowan wasn't going to pretend he could help Luci with unravelling the ss that he was when it ca to matters that concerned Red.
"You'll have a chance to confront him then."
Luci looked at Rowan with a renewed fire in his eyes. "You are completely certain that the asshole hasn't left?"
"Yes," Rowan answered. "He has preserved himself from complete absorption. I can sense him still inside you, Luci."
"Good."
Even though Luci was disturbed to have confirmation that he had been absorbing Red, his mood had been uplifted. The confirmation ant that Rowan knew what he was talking about. That Red, the bastard deserter, was still alive, or whatever the state of his being could be called.
"I don't know what you're doing, Rowan. But I'll reserve judgent about you till Syryn and Red return and make sense of it for ."
"Fair enough," the blond answered with a smile. He wanted to take Lucien away with him but the teen was safer here. "It's ti I left, Luci."
_______
After Rowan exited the manor, Lucien was left alone in the kitchen, contemplating everything he had been told. He picked up another dull knife and began sliding it over the whetstone with a practised rhythm that lulled him into a ditative state of mind.
As he did this, the redhead felt a pair of arms hug him from behind. The fire mage's chin rested on his shoulder and he breathed in the scent of Lucien. After the sudden kiss and confession that had co out of nowhere, Magnus had beco clingier than usual and Luci liked that very much.
"Is that the thirtieth or fortieth?"
"Sixty-seventh," Luci replied. "But I'm not counting anymore."
"Mmhmm, are you going to tell what your discussion with Rowan was about?"
Lucien leaned his head back and tilted his face so he was looking into Magnus' eyes. Their lips were so close he wanted to- Magnus placed a quick peck on his mouth and smiled at the little bit of frustration that wrinkled Lucien's brows.
"These chaste kisses bug . Kiss like a man, you coward."
The fire mage sighed and squeezed Lucien's cheeks between his fingers. "Tell what Rowan ca for."
Never having been known as a nosy person, his interest in Lucien's affairs showed just how much he cared about the redhead.
"Rowan told Red hasn't left. He's still inside ."
"Oh?" Magnus said with a lift of his brows. "And how does Rowan know that?"
"Said he sensed his presence inside . I believe him."
The fire mage thought about what would change between them if Red ca back.
"Then why is he silently hiding inside?"
"He thinks he's an unnecessary baggage to my existence." Lucien's wet fingers slid past the wooden surface of the table where a stack of knives were balanced next to a whetstone. Wasn't Red like one of Salem's knives? Its edge blunted and put away in a box to gather dust.
"Hardly," Magnus responded. "Red and Luci are like the sky and the Earth. You are two different individuals that complent each other. And I for one cannot picture one without the other. I've missed him just as you have, Lulu."
The redhead smiled. "Call Luci. I've hated being called Lulu all this ti."
"I'll call you Luci only when Red cos back."
"Will he?"
"Dunno. Maybe it's up to you to wake him up."
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